Together At Last
by calicsifan07
Summary: A madman caused Grissom to take the last step. The one he'd always wated to take. My take on how they got together. Hey, we all have to do one of these. Sticks close to canon and weaves in and out of the episodes. Please read and review. It makes me happy
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I own nothing here. I have used some of the dialogue from Nesting Dolls and Committed.**

**If I did own them we would have a much different past year and a half. And there would be more smut and real kisses.**

**Please let me know what you think. I love reviews.**

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It was not the first time he came to her. He wanted an explanation for her behavior. She was angry and he wanted to know why. She resisted; he pushed; she told him. It came out in a jumble of memories and flashes. He anguished for her, with her.

"Do you think there's a murder gene?" Sara asked.

"I don't believe that genes are a predictor of violent behavior" Grissom winced at her question.

"You wouldn't know that in my house. The fights, the yelling, the trips to the hospital. I thought it was the way that everybody lived. When my mother killed my father, I found out that it wasn't."

She cried. He held her hand. His heart broke with hers. He pulled her to him and held her while she cried. He swore silently that he would protect her. She had never been protected. His vow was to see that she was never hurt again. He knew he had hurt her. He would change. He would do it for her.

The next time he came to her was after he asked Sophia out for dinner. He had promised to not hurt her any more. She'd been hurt by that. He came to explain.

She opened the door but her expression was unreadable. That was not good. He was always able to read her. She wore her emotions on her sleeve. This was not good at all.

He began, "Sara, I'm sorry."

"For what, you don't owe me anything."

He winced at that. He did owe her. He owed her everything.

"I want to explain about Sophia."

She spat back, "Really, don't."

"I want to. I owe you that."

She glared at him. Her eyes could burn holes in him.

"She was going to leave the lab. I took her out to dinner to get her to stay. That was it."

"Gee, all I got was a plant."

That plant still sat on her window sill. She had nurtured it over the years. It was tangible proof that he cared about her. She was tempted to throw it at him now.

Grissom sighed. "Sara, please don't be angry. I can't stand to see you so upset."

_Upset! He thinks I'm upset, _she thought to herself. The tears stung behind her eyes as she fought them. She turned around. She didn't want him to see her cry again.

"Sara."

She took a step away from him. She just wanted him to leave so she could have a good cry. He closed the gap between them. She could feel him breathing.

"Just go, Grissom. Thanks for explaining."

"Sara" His voice was low and soft. He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. She flinched at his touch.

"Grissom, I can't keep doing this."

"What?"

"This….between us."

She turned to face him, no longer able to hide the tears. He wiped away the tears that were on her cheeks and pulled her into him. She resisted. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close and she relaxed.

"Sara, please, don't be angry." He whispered in her ear. He could smell her hair. He held her as she cried. He knew he'd hurt her again. _Damn it _he thought. He felt her tears soak the front of his shirt.

He held her for a long time. When she pulled away her eyes were puffy and red.

"Sara, I'm sorry."

"Do you want some coffee or something?"

"How about I make you some tea and something to eat?"

She started to resist, but changed her mind.

"Thanks."

She decided that if he wanted to be here she would let him. It was the start of a change between them. He was more attentive and more careful. He asked her how she was. He brought her tea or a trinket he thought she might like. He was trying to make her feel better. He tried to make sure he worked with her on every case, at least as much as possible. He even invited her to breakfast a couple of times. They were slipping into an easy routine.

Then came the case that changed it all.

They were called to a mental hospital. Sara was uncomfortable the moment she walked in the place. Grissom could see that. He was sorry he'd brought her. He was so concerned about keeping her close that he didn't think about her being in that hospital. He didn't think about what happened to her mother. He made sure to be with her while she was there. He only walked away for a moment. It only took a moment for Adam Trent to trap her in the nurse's station. She tried to fight back. He held the clay shard to her neck and pressed. Grissom watched helplessly from the window.

"Oh, dear God." Grissom whispered. Sara.

Adam Trent was crying, "Do you think I'm right?"

Grissom pleads with the orderly, "Open the door."

His eyes never leave Sara's.

Adam called out again, "You do?"

The orderly could not find the key to the door. "I can't. I don't have the right key."

Grissom whispered again, "Just open it…..Please open the door."

He tried not to panic.

Adam Trent said, "Don't you move a muscle. I will grind you, you bitch. You hear me?"

Sara nodded her head and averted her eyes from Grissom's.

Adam threatened her again, "Do not look at them!"

Sara whispered, "Okay."

He pushed the blade against her throat again, pushing even harder, "Keep your eyes on the floor."

Panic began to overtake Grissom. Nurse McKay showed up and the door opened. Sara ran like a trapped animal. She ran until she could go no further. The barred window prevented her from leaving. She couldn't breathe. Grissom watched her run. He turned to see that Trent was contained before he followed Sara. He found her still at the window panting.

"Sara?"

She still had that wild, trapped look. He was afraid to touch her. She just looked at Grissom, her eyes wide with fear still. He reached out to touch her cheek.

"Sara, it's ok. He's in custody. You're ok."

She could only nod her head. It took her about five minutes to calm down enough to talk.

Sara tells Grissom why she's so freaked out by this place. His heart went out to her again. He asked her if she wanted off the case. She said no. She needed to finish this case. When Nurse McKay came to reprimand them, Grissom took a protective posture in front of Sara. He hadn't protected her before, but now he would. He stood between them. Later at the station he went in the interrogation room with her. He would be there to protect her again. When she got up to leave, Grissom remained for just a moment then followed her out of the room. They watched as Nurse McKay was read her rights and was taken into custody.

Sara and Grissom left the police station.

"Sara, are you OK?" He reached out and put his hand in the small of her back as they walked out of the station.

"No. I really don't want to be alone right now. Do you want to get something to eat?"

Grissom had heard her ask this question two years ago. His answer then was no, but he has come to realize that he could not stand to lose Sara. He loved her like nobody else in his life. He simply could not fight it any longer. Almost losing her in that hospital had opened his eyes to that fact. He'd fought it for years. There had been other women, Terri, Heather, but none of them were Sara. She captivated him. She understood him. She didn't judge him. She.......she was his one and only.

"Sure. Where do you want to go?"

"Well, how about...." Sara thought for a moment. Grissom answered before she could think of something.

"My place? I could cook for you."

"You cook?"She joked.

Grissom smiled and answered, "Sure. I make a mean Pasta with Asparagus."

"OK, I really don't want to be in a crowd, but I don't want to be alone either."

Grissom whispered to her, "You don't have to be alone."

"Let's get out of here."

They had driven to the station together so they got in Grissom's Denali and drove to the Lab to get their cars. All the way back he gave her sideways glances to check on her. He fought the urge to take her hand and hold it.

Grissom stated, "I need to go to the store to get the stuff for dinner."

Sara stared at the lights going by as she answered, "I will meet you at your place in a while."

"Sounds great."

She couldn't believe that Grissom had said yes and then invited her to his house. She had waited six years for this. She had felt them growing closer in the past few months. She had told him about her past and he had been so supportive and positive. He had held her all night and listened to her talk and cry and get out what had happened to her. He didn't judge, he just listened. Things were better between them after that. Grissom was so much more attentive. He asked her how she was doing and really seemed interested. She was so close to getting what she wanted....Gil.

Grissom was thinking what have I done? I don't care anymore. I love her and I want to be with her, consequences be damned. He needed to be with her. He couldn't fight that any longer. _I almost lost her and she wasn't even mine. I want her to know how I feel about her. I need to know how I feel about her. I just need her._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Smut on the horizon. **

**Please read and leave me a review. It makes me happy. **

Grissom arrived home and went inside just as Sara had arrived.

"Sara, come on in. I'm just getting the groceries."

Sara called out to Grissom, "Hey, do you need some help?"

"No, I got it. What so do you have there?" He noticed a bag in her hand.

"I hope you don't mind but I brought a change of clothes. I didn't have time to go home. I was really hoping I could freshen up."

She was also hoping to stay the night. She just did not want to be alone tonight.

Grissom raised an eyebrow, "Go ahead. I'll get dinner started while you change."

Sara went inside. She had been there a few times before. Grissom showed her where the bathroom was. She decided to take a shower. She didn't think Grissom would mind. It hit her that she was using the same shower that Grissom used. She was surprised to feel that familiar pang in her belly. _Stop it Sara, you don't even know if he wants the same thing. You're going to scare him off. Just enjoy the company. See what happens._

He heard the shower running as he started dinner. He smiled._ Good, she needed to wash him off of her._ It occurred to him that she was using the same shower he did. That was mildly arousing to him. _Stop it. She just needs comfort, just be there for her. You're going to rush it and hurt her again. Go slow._

Sara got out of the shower and could smell dinner cooking. The heavenly aroma made her stomach growl. She realized she had not eaten all day. Her last meal was dinner yesterday on her way to work. She pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. She decided to forgo the shoes and socks and wrapped a towel around her head. She could not resist the chance to snoop just a bit. She noticed that he had a king size bed. The room was painted in rich browns and was neat as a pin. He had a television on the dresser and a few pictures on the walls. She wouldn't go as far as looking in the drawers. She headed out to Grissom.

She walked into the kitchen and saw Grissom cooking. He turned around when he heard her. He had a dish towel tossed over his shoulder and a knife in his hand.

"Hey, you took a shower."

"Yeah, I hope you don't mind. I couldn't see putting on clean clothes when I needed a shower."

Grissom smiled at her, "I don't mind at all. Please make yourself at home. Would you like something to drink?"

She sat down at the breakfast bar.

"Water, thanks. Dinner smells wonderful. Can I help?"

Grissom poured her a glass of water.

"Ice?"

"Yes, please."

"Do you want to make the salad?"

"Sure."

He handed her the knife and the makings for the salad. Sara made the salad as Grissom finished the main dish. Cooking like this seemed so natural. They talked as they cooked. No talk of work. They were used to working side by side.

Sara pulled the towel off her head as she finished the salad. She let her curls fall as they would.

Grissom loved her curls. He liked it when she wore it down and curly.

Grissom said, "Dinner's ready. Why don't you go sit down and I'll serve up the food."

He pulled her chair out for her and then went to get the plates.

"I learn you can cook and you're a waiter?" She flashed him that Sidle smile. His heart skipped a beat all of the sudden he was nervous. Why was he so nervous? This was Sara he had eaten with her hundreds of times.

Grissom smiled back and bowed a small bow, "I live to serve you, my Dear."

Sara blushed at that comment. Suddenly she was nervous as well. Why was she so nervous? This was what she had wanted for years, to have Grissom...no Gil... alone and all to herself.

As they ate dinner they relaxed a bit. The conversation turned light again.

Grissom said, "Tell me something I don't know about you."

"What do you want to know?"

That was a loaded question, but he chose to keep it light.

"Tell me about your favorite movie."

"That's kind of embarrassing."

"Really? Oh, now I have to know."

"You promise not to tease me about it?"

"No…I'm teasing. I promise."

"I love, oh I can't believe I'm going to tell you this. I love….The Wizard of Oz."

Grissom was surprised. But he thought he understood why. Sara had always been looking for a home. Being raised in foster care must have seemed a bit like being in Oz. She was always looking for something at the end of the rainbow. He smiled at her.

"I won't tease you about that. I promise."

"Turnabout is fair play. What is your favorite movie?"

"I love silent movies."

"Really?"

"Yep."

They laughed. When dinner was over Grissom cleared the table and did the dishes. Sara sat on the couch, her feet tucked up underneath her. She spotted a book on the table and picked it up. It was an entomology book. She was soon flipping the pages looking at the beautiful drawings. She was fighting the urge to look around.

Grissom walked over and sat down beside her on the couch.

"My mother gave me that book just before she died."

"Oh, do you want me to put it back."

She started to close it. He put his hand on hers.

"No, books are meant to be read."

"The pictures are beautiful."

"So are you."

She snapped her head around to look at him. Neither of them could believe what he just said. Their eyes locked and they just stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Grissom reached up and caressed her cheek. Sara's heart pounded. Her breath came faster. He leaned in and gently kissed her. It was just a soft kiss, but the reaction was electrifying for both of them.

He put his forehead against hers.

"Sara, I..."

"Shhhhhh." She leaned in and kissed him again. The kiss this time was more passionate.

Sara pulled back first when the need for air became too great to fight, "I told you I know what to do about this."

Grissom was afraid to ask the next question, "I...am I too late?"

"No, you could never be too late."

Grissom kissed her again. He was beginning to let the wall down to let Sara in. It was hard for him to express what he felt. He'd spent his whole life keeping things in. This was new territory for him.

Grissom kissed her with more passion. Sara parted her lips and welcomed Grissom's kisses. They only broke apart when the need for air became too much.

Both were breathing hard with the need for air and passion. Their foreheads pressed together.

"Sara, I've been such a fool."

"It's OK. You're here now. That's all that matters."

"I could have lost you today."

He moved her hair and looked at the red welt that was still raised on her neck. He gently rubbed his thumb over the area. Then he leaned in and kissed it. He wanted to kiss away the pain.

Sara pulled him closer.

"Sara, I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you."

"This was not your fault."

"When I saw you in that window and I couldn't get to you, I was so scared." His voice cracked with emotion.

"I know, me too."

"All I could think of was that you could be killed and you would never know."

"Know what?"

"Know how I feel about you."

"I know."

Sara stood up and pulled Grissom with her. No words were spoken as she led him down the hall to the bedroom. Grissom looked at the clock when he went by. It was 1:30 in the morning, Sunday morning.

Sara turned to him once they were in the bedroom and began to unbutton his shirt. Grissom, in turn, lifted her shirt over her head. He stood there just taking in the sight of her body. It was everything he ever imagined and more. His reaction was immediate and noticeable. Sara stepped toward him and kissed him. He kissed along her collarbone eliciting a shutter. She then reached for his belt and undid it and then the pants were gone. Sara's were not far behind. Grissom took over and began kissing her. He kissed her neck. She responded with a low moan and clutched his head. His head dipped lower as he took her left nipple into his mouth. It sent shockwaves through her body. He ran her fingers up into the curls on the back of his neck. She would learn that this was very stimulating for him. She felt the tightening in her body. She wanted him and she wanted him now. Grissom was in no hurry. He wanted this to last. He finally had Sara. She was here, in his bed. He wanted to explore her body, learn what pleased her. He kissed his way back up to her neck and again he stopped and kissed the angry red mark on her neck. He found her lips again. His tongue demanded entry into her mouth which she granted. He hands roamed everywhere over her body.

She slid her hands down his back and pulled him closer. His erection pushed against her hip. He grunted a bit at the sensation.

"Gil..."

Grissom picked her up and gently laid her down on the bed. He then laid down next to her. He began to kiss her again. He felt her body respond to him. He rubbed the back of his hand down her stomach and then between her thighs he could feel she was ready for him. He dipped one finger into her folds. She arched toward him. She didn't know how much more of this she could take. She wanted him now.

As if he could read her mind he shifted and was on top of her. He looked into her eyes. She gave him a silent nod of her head. Their lips met and he gently entered her. He was slow at first giving her time to adjust to him. It was only then he remembered.

"Sara…"

She knew what he meant.

"It's OK, I've been on the pill for years."

He smiled at her and began to move. Slowly at first then they found a rhythm. She wrapped her legs around his waist to allow him greater access. His lips found hers again.

"Sara, look at me."

She did. What she saw there was adoration. She knew at that point that Grissom was hers. She felt the first waves of her climax crashing over her. She called out his name as she went over the edge.

Grissom knew it was not going to be long. Sara kissed him and he began to move faster. As he came he called her name.

This was the moment they had both waited for. It was years in the making and it was everything they had both thought it would be. They made love for the first time. They fell asleep in each other's arms.

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Daylight played peek-a-boo through the window. Grissom woke up first. He lay there and watched Sara sleep. She looked like an angel framed in white sheets. He still couldn't believe she was there. It was like a dream. If it was a dream, he didn't want to wake up. He wanted to stay here with her forever. He reached out to stoke he cheek.

Sara stirred, "Hey, good morning."

"Good morning."

"What time is it?"

"Early."

She shifted so that her head was resting on his chest.

She smiled, "Is this real? Am I really here?"

Grissom kissed the top of her head, "You are, Dear."

Sara smiled when he called her dear. She didn't know it at the time, but it was to be what he called her.

She stretched and the sheets slipped off her a bit. Grissom rubbed her back and pulled her closer.

"Griss...Gil, I'm hungry. I guess that I can call you that now that."

"Yeah, I guess so. Do you want some French toast? I make great French toast."

Sara laughed and kissed him.

"I would love to try your French toast."

Grissom was confused, "Why are you laughing?"

"I can't believe we...you know and that you like to cook."

Grissom smiled that mischievous smile at her, "You haven't seen anything yet."

That Sunday was the first of many they would share.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: There is some dialogue from Grave Danger One and Two.**

**Sorry no smut in this one. There will be smut later I promise.**

Sara and Grissom had been dating for several weeks now. They were taking it slow and just enjoying the thrill of a new relationship. Everything was new and special. They enjoyed having a secret that nobody else knew. It added to the excitement.

Grissom and Sara were in the hallway of the lab discussing a case.

(this part of the dialogue is not mine. I got it from Grave Danger.)

Grissom explained the results of the experiment he had done earlier, "Spatter patterns are a match. One bullet, two victims.

Sara argued, "No, no, no, no. Grissom, that isn't possible. I sampled every square inch of that scene, there was only one DNA type on the bloodstains."

They walked into Grissom's office and he sat down at his desk.

"How 'bout that? Our mystery vics are identical twins."

Sara breathed, "Twins......Well, that's different."

Grissom deadpanned, "Technically, it's the same."

He gave her a come hither smile.

Sara looked at his desk and saw something new. There was a certificate in a frame.

"What's this?" She picked it up

Grissom was giddy, "I just got it. It's a certificate of honorary ownership of Trigger, "The Smartest Horse in the Movies," Issued by Roy Rogers to the children of America. Roy felt that the children were the true owners of Trigger, so any kids that would write him, He'd send 'em one of those."

Sara thought this was so cute. She loved that little boy side of him. She decided to tease him a bit about it.

"And where did you get it?

"The Roy Rogers and Dale Evens Museum, which used to be in Victorville, California, and is now in Branson, Missouri."

"Roy Rogers, the cowboy?"

"King of the cowboys. I wrote to him when I was four. He set me one of those. I lost it, so I thought I'd replace it."

Sara smiled, "And then you thought you would frame it.

Grissom scoffed, "Yeah."

He saw that she was teasing him and took his certificate back.

(Back to my stuff)

"That is so cute."

Grissom pouted, "Are you making fun of me?"

"No. I just love seeing this side of you."

"Glad to be so entertaining."

"Oh, come on. Don't be like that. I will make it up to you later. I promise."

She raised her eyebrows at him.

Grissom gave her that raised eyebrow look, "I'll hold you to that, Dear."

The Sidle smile flashed across her face and their eyes meet and they held that gaze for a moment. Suddenly Grissom's phone rang and broke the mood.

Grissom answered, "Grissom."

"Gil, it's Catherine. Nick has been taken."

"What.....when?"

Sara noticed the alarm in Grissom's voice and the color drain from his face and gave him a puzzled look.

"Meet me outside. We can go to the scene. We need to find him. I'll fill you in when you get here."

"I'm on the way."

Catherine hung up.

Sara asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nick is missing. He was at a scene and he was taken."

"Oh, God."

She and Nick have always been close.

Grissom ran out the door with his kit and his camera, "Get your kit we need to get over there. Take the Denali. Catherine is meeting me out front."

Sara just stood there for a minute unable to move.

Grissom turned, "Sara, are you coming?"

Sara snapped out of it, "Uh...yeah...I'll get my kit and meet you at the scene."

Grissom caressed her cheek, "We will find him."

"What happened?"

"We don't know yet."

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Grissom and Catherine pulled up to see Brass talking to the officer who was there with Nick. Brass was giving him a tongue lashing about not taking his eyes off the CSI's when he was at a scene with them.

Grissom and Catherine were looking at the pile of body parts that was left at the scene. They discussed the end trails and Dave came to take them away.

Ecklie walked up, "Gil, Catherine. I want you to know, as far as I'm concerned, the lab's only got one case tonight. Same for the rest of the department."

Grissom nodded, "Thanks, Conrad."

Back at the lab Sara reported to Grissom what she found at the scene, which wasn't much.

Sara sighed, "Where could he be?"

"Sara, we will get him back, we have to."

"Why him?"

"I don't know. We don't even know who has him. We have to wait for more evidence. There just isn't enough to go on at the moment."

"I know, I hate waiting. I feel helpless."

He wanted so badly to reach out and hold her, but he couldn't.

Later, at the team meeting they were all discussing what they have so far.

They heard a ruckus down the hall and all went to see Hodges arguing with a delivery man.

Grissom took the package down the hall to the layout room to look in it.

Grissom looked at the envelope and then at his team, "Let me do this."

Sara was even more scared. Nick was missing and now Grissom could be blown up. She is on the verge of tears. She managed to maintain.

In the envelope, Grissom found a flash drive that connected to where Nick was being held. Grissom put it in the computer and a song began to play.

The team watched Nick on the computer.

There was little they could do right now but watch for the moment.

Nick's parents came in a talk to Grissom and Catherine.

Catherine went to her father and got the money for the ransom.

Grissom and Sara were arguing about him making the drop.

"Gil, it's not safe."

"I have to do this. Catherine can't be seen near this money. I need to do this."

"But...."

She couldn't bring herself to say the words.

Grissom saw her fear and reached out and caressed her cheek. She looked up at him.

"Sara, I'll be careful. I need you to keep working on this. We have to find Nick and right now this is the best shot we have."

Sara began to sob, "I know, I just can't lose you, not now."

Grissom's heart ached, "You won't."

He looked around and saw that nobody was watching. He leaned in and kissed her.

Grissom whispered, "I'll call you when I'm done."

Sara tried to smile, "I'll hold you to that."

She watched Grissom walk out of the room and to the door of the building with the suit case full of money.

She went back to work to keep her mind from wandering to what might happen.

An hour later she was snapped back to reality when she heard that a bomb blew up at the scene of the drop. She began to panic when she heard that Grissom was OK and that the Paramedics were checking him over. She ran for her Denali and made record time to the address.

Sara muttered, "I'll kill him."

Grissom saw her coming and gave her a look that said cool it. He had been given a clean bill of health and some painkillers for the headache.

They stole away for a quiet talk.

Grissom started, "Sara, I know what you are going to say."

Sara spat back, "Oh, no I don't think you do."

Grissom put his hands on her shoulders, "I know you are mad."

"Mad? I was scared to death Gilbert Grissom. If you ever do that to me again I will kill you."

Grissom smiled at that.

"What? Do you think this is funny? You really have a warped sense of humor. This is not funny!"

"I know. I was scared too. Now let's get back to work and find Nick."

She had calmed down a bit. He was alright and there was work to do. She sighed. Work would help.

"OK, what do you want me to do first?"

"We need to see what is left of the bomber in that building. Help Catherine in there."

"OK."

Sara went into the building and began the task of identifying who the man was. There was very little left of him, but Sara did find a thumb.

She took it back to the lab but couldn't get a fingerprint hit from AFIS. But Mia did find a partial DNA match to a Kelly Gordon. She went to Grissom with what she knew.

"I'm going to go talk to her....see what she knows."

"OK, go with Brass and talk to her."

The meeting was a bust and they got very little from her or so they though at the time.

Later back at the lab Grissom, Sara and Archie were watching the monitor when ants began to attack Nick.

Grissom was able to identify the ants and they were able to find where Nick was buried.

The ants were the key. They were fire ants. They only lived in nurseries near Vegas. Sara sparked a memeory. Kelly Gordon said she worked with plants before she was arrested. Archie located a range for the transmitter and they found two nurseries in that area. Sara ran to get the file from Grissom's office and they located the nursery were Nick was buried.

They got to the scene and found him buried in a hole. For the second time Grissom put himself in danger and for the second time Sara had to watch, helpless.

Suddenly the whole place sprung into action and Nick was pulled out of the coffin just as it blew up.

Nick was taken away in the ambulance. Warrick and Catherine went with him. Sara, Greg, Grissom and Ecklie watched as they drove away.

Grissom sighed, "I want my guys back."

Ecklie didn't say anything. He just looks as Grissom and then walked off.

Greg stated, "I better get to processing this scene. We need to collect what we can."

Grissom turned to him, "Yeah, you better do that."

Greg nodded, "I'll get to work on that."

"Sara, will you give me a ride back to the lab. I will get some guys here from days to help you, Greg."

"Sure, just a minute."

Greg looked at Grissom, "Thanks, I'll let you know what I find."

In the car Grissom and Sara talk.

"Gil, are you OK?"

"Yes, I just was thinking about what happened today."

"Me, too."

"I was scared. I want all the team back together."

"Do you think Ecklie will allow that?"

"If I have to go the Sheriff I will."

"Do you really want to go back to the lab?"

"No, I want to go home, take a shower and go to the hospital to see Nick."

"I'll take you there then."

"Will you......stay with me tonight. I...I don't want to be alone. I just want to be close to you."

"Sure....whatever you need. I will always be there for you."

Grissom reached out and held her hand, "Thanks."

He leaned his head against the headrest and closed his eyes, but did not let go of Sara's hand.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: There is some is some stuff from Bodies in Motion in this one. I love that scene in the beginning of this episode where they all come under the tape together. I will miss that. Well that's what we have Fan Fiction for. **

**No smut in this one, but it's coming. **

**Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think. **

Grissom and Sara returned from seeing Nick in the hospital. He was fine. The doctors treated the ant bites and the cuts Nick had. He was resting at the hospital with his parents at his bedside. Grissom was tired. He looked older. He felt older.

Grissom asked, "Would you like some tea. I got your favorite kind."

"Thanks, and yes I would."

Grissom went into the kitchen and made them some tea. He returned a short while later. Sara had picked up the entomology book again to look at the pictures.

Sara thanked him as Grissom handed her the tea.

Grissom noted, "You like that book."

"I never thought bugs could be so…beautiful."

"Many are."

Sara snuggled up against Grissom and they sat there for a while unwinding from the events of the past two days. Grissom put an arm around Sara and just held her without talking.

Finally he spoke.

"Sara, are you ready for bed?"

"Yeah. Can I borrow a t-shirt? I don't have anything to sleep in."

"Yeah, sure."

Both of them headed to the bedroom. Exhaustion was quickly overtaking them both. They had been running on coffee and adrenaline for days. It was time for rest. They crawled under the covers and fell asleep holding one another. Slowly Sara had become his rock. He needed her. He needed to feel her next to him. He kissed her head as he drifted off to sleep. _I love you, Sara. _It was unspoken, but he was now able to form the words in his mind.

As the morning light invaded the darkness of the bedroom, Sara woke up. She watched Grissom sleep. He looked peaceful and relaxed. She thought about the events of the past couple of weeks. It was still a bit of a dream for her and if it was a dream she didn't want to wake up. She had waited so long for this and she didn't want to screw it up.

Grissom broke the morning quiet.

"You look lost in thought."

Sara sighed, "I was just thinking about everything that's happened."

"Good thoughts I hope, not regrets?"

"Never."

She kissed him softly. He still needed reassurance and she knew that. She loved him for all his insecurities.

"Are you on the schedule for tonight?"

"No, You?"

Grissom stretched, "Yep. I have an appointment with Ecklie at 4:00 today about the team."

Sara sat up a bit surprised, "When did you make that?"

Grissom explained, "Last night. He wants to talk about the team being back together."

Sara smirked, "Did he finally pull his head out of his ass?"

Grissom laughed and smiled at her.

"Ever the poet, aren't you?"

"Well, I call them like I see them."

Grissom kissed the top of her head, "Yes, Dear, I know that. It's one of your more endearing qualities."

Sara shrugged, "No sense in beating about the bush now is there?"

"No, I guess not. And, to answer your question, yes, I think he has pulled his head out of his ass.......for now."

Grissom was prepared to fight to get his team back. The sheriff once said that if Grissom ever wanted anything he would help. He would call up that favor if he had to. He wanted his team back.

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Grissom showed up to the lab at 3:30 to see Ecklie. He was a little early, so he took the opportunity to call and see how Nick is doing.

The receptionist answered, "Desert Palm Hospital, how may I direct your call?"

Grissom responded, "Room 342 Nick Stokes please."

"One moment."

The phone rang in Nick's room.

Nick answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, Nick its Grissom. I was just checking on you. I'll come by later if that's OK."

"I won't be here. They're letting me go soon."

"That's great."

Nick paused, "Hey, I never got to thank you for what you did."

Grissom fidgeted, "No need."

"Griss, you saved my life, you and the team."

"We all helped. The entire lab...the entire department."

"Thanks for jumping in that hole with me."

Nick understood that it was hard for Grissom to express his feelings. He didn't push it.

"No problem."

Grissom had never been comfortable taking praise. It was not in his nature to need that. He knew it was in Nick's nature to need to thank him for it. Nick paused again. He was not comfortable telling Nick how he felt about him. He was glad Nick was OK. He felt like the team was his family. Catherine had said that to him years ago. They had built a family.

"Say, how did you know about Pancho?"

"Your dad called you that when I was talking to him."

Nick laughed, "Leave it to my dad. I call him Cisco. It was something we started on the ranch when I was a kid."

Grissom changed the subject, "What time do you get to leave?"

"In about an hour. My mom and dad are coming to get me."

"Call if you need anything."

"Thanks, but I don't think my mother will leave my side just yet. She is staying with me for a few days. I want to come back to work in a couple of days. The doctor will release me then."

"Good…. How do you feel about going back on nights?"

Nick brightened again, "Are you kidding? I'd love that....as long as we're all together."

"I'm working on it. I'll let you know what happens."

"Great."

"I'll talk you later. And Nick, I'm really glad you're OK."

"I'm getting there, bye."

A few minutes later Grissom walked into Ecklie's Office. He was ready for the fight he knew was coming. He had a few cards up his sleeve and would use them if he had to.

"Hello, Conrad."

"Hello, Gil, come on in."

Grissom walked in and sat down.

Ecklie began the conversation, "I know what you want to talk to me about. You want your team back together."

Grissom was guarded, "Yes, I do."

"Pending their personal approval, that can happen as of shift on Monday."

Grissom was shocked. He expected to have a fight on his hands and there wasn't one. It took him a moment to shift gears.

Ecklie smiled, "What did you expect a fight?"

Ecklie rarely got one over on Grissom and he was relishing it just a bit.

Grissom answered honestly, "Yes, frankly I did."

A moment of honesty passed between them and for that moment there was respect.

"I saw how well you and your team work together. You can have them back if they want to come back."

Grissom was still shocked, "Thank you. I've spoken to Nick and I know he wants to come back. I'll talk to Warrick and Catherine....About Catherine, she's a supervisor. What will happen with that?"

Ecklie had anticipated that question, "She can be the assistant supervisor and take over when you are not around."

"No cut in pay?"

"None."

Grissom could hardly believe what he was hearing. Where was Ecklie and who had replaced him?

"Thank you, Conrad."

"You're welcome."

Grissom walked down the hall to call Sara and tell her what had happened.

Sara answered,"Hi, what happened?"

Grissom was still in shock, "Ecklie said that pending everyone's approval they can come back."

"So, Ecklie's is not a complete dumbass after all?"

Grissom laughed.

"I know Nick is in. He's getting out of the hospital in about 30 minutes."

"That's great news. Are you going to call Warrick and Catherine?"

"Yes. I'll let you know."

Sara changed the subject.

"Will I see you in the morning after shift?"

"Yes. I'll come to your place and we can have breakfast together."

"I'll see you then, but call when you find out what the team says."

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The team was reunited and they were on their first case together. Nick was back to work. They were all working a scene in a trailer park. The trailer had been blown up and burned. There were two bodies inside a man and a woman.

The police officer at the scene talked to Nick

Officer Wilcox shot a comment to Nick, "How you doing, Nick"

Nick retorted, "Above ground, Wilcox."

He'd been fighting the nightmares and had been seeing the psychologist that had been recommended. He'd convinced his mother and father that he was staying in Vegas. Being back at work with his friends helped.

They walked to the scene and begin processing .

Officer Metcalf snorted, "My money's on a meth lab."

Sara took offense to that comment, "You know, Metcalf, just because somebody lives in a trailer park, doesn't mean they're a meth cook."

Officer Metcalf scoffed, "You guys are a real pain in the ass, you know that?"

Grissom shot back, "Get used to it, pal."

They continued to process the scene but they didn't get very far. Nobody seemed to know anything.

Later that night Sara and Grissom were back at the lab going over what they have found. Grissom took the conversation in another direction.

Grissom leaned over the evidence, "Do you want to catch a movie later and maybe some dinner?"

Sara picked up a piece of the gas main, "Sure."

Grissom was examining a piece of the wall, "Great. I will pick you up at 5:00. We're both off tonight, I checked."

Sara grabbed a piece of pipe, "What do you have in mind?"

She flashed him that Sidle smile that made his heart melt and loins stir.

Grissom just smiled back at her and gave her that raised eyebrow look.

Just then Catherine walked in breaking the mood.

"Hey, we gotta a romance at CSI."

Grissom and Sara give each other a panicked look.

Sara stammered, "What do you mean?"

Catherine questioned, "You didn't hear the news?"

Grissom retorted, "I guess not."

Catherine blurted out, "Warrick got married yesterday."

Sara and Grissom both breathed a silent sigh of relief. Their secret was still safe.

Catherine sighed, "Can you believe that?"

Sara added quickly, "I'm happy for him. It's good not to be alone."

Grissom glanced her way but Catherine was so preoccupied she missed the meaning.

Catherine was distracted, "I guess so. I gotta go. Doc Robbins should be ready to post the body we found."

She left the room.

Sara exhaled, "Wow, Warrick got married."

"Interesting."

Sara smiled at him, "What?"

"I wonder if this is a reaction to Nick's kidnapping."

Grissom was lost in thought again.

Sara commented, "I hope it works out for him."

Grissom snapped back to the present, "Yeah, me too.....So are we on for tonight?"

"Yep. I'll see you at 5."

Just then Sara and Grissom's cell phones rang. They both saw it was a text from Sophia. They found a car matching the description they were looking for.

Grissom groaned, "Come on let's go. Looks like we're pulling a double."

Sara sighed, "So much for the movies."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: There is dialogue in here from Bite Me. That scene could not be ignored…just to loaded. **

**There is smut in this one. Just a warning…nothing to bad or I would blush. I love to read it but it's hard to write it.**

**Please leave a review. **

Grissom and Sara arrived back at the lab from the double shift they had just pulled. They were exhausted and hungry. The rest of the team was just getting in too.

Nick caught up to them in the hallway, "You two pull a double also?"

Sara yawned, "Yep"

Catherine added, "Want to get some.....what time is it?........Lunch or Dinner?"

Warrick looked at the clock, "Uummmmm early dinner I think."

Grissom said, "I think I'll pass. I need sleep."

Sara whined, "Oh, come on it will be fun. Our first meal since we go back together."

Nick added, "Yeah, come on Griss."

Grissom knew that he was out voted. The only vote that really counted was Sara's. He wanted to be where she was and if she was going so was he. He would just have to postpone the plans he had for them. Oh, well. They needed food first anyway.

Grissom sighed, "OK, I'm in. Where should we go?"

The whole team at once said, "Jerry's" and laughed.

It was tradition and it was their first meal as a reunited team. It's where they had to go.

Grissom looked at Sara, "OK, I'll meet you there. Does anyone want to carpool?"

Sara caught his glance, "Sure, I'll ride with you. I'm almost out of gas anyway."

Greg answered, "No, I just want to go home after we eat."

Catherine thought about it but said, "No, I gotta pick up Lindsey."

Warrick didn't want to either, "No, I have to go home to Tina."

Nick drawled, "Naw, I live on the other side of town and I'd just have to backtrack."

Grissom's plan had worked. He and Sara could ride together.

In the car Grissom and Sara talked.

Grissom took her hand, "I'm glad you decided to come with me. I was hoping you would."

"I know. I really don't need gas. I just wanted to ride with you too."

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

Grissom smiled at her, "Sara Sidle you never cease to amaze me."

Sara smirked, "Good, I like it that way."

They pulled into the parking lot and found a place to park. Everyone else was arriving as well.

They had a great time eating together and they were reluctant to leave. This was like a family to each of them.

Warrick said, "I better get going. Tina is expecting me home soon."

Catherine looked at her watch, "Yeah, I better go get Lindsey. She is getting out of dance class in about 30 minutes. If I hurry I can pick her up."

Greg tried not to yawn, "I got no place to go. I just need sleep. Hope I make it home."

Nick said, "Hey, man do you need me to take you?"

"Naw, I only live a couple of miles from here. I'll be OK."

Nick got up, "I'm gonna head out too. Sara, do you need a ride back to your car?"

Grissom added quickly, "Oh, I can take her. I have to go back to the lab anyway. I forgot something I need to take home."

Nick was too tired to catch it, "Oh, OK. Are you sure?"

Sara looked at him, "Are you sure, Griss?"

"It's no trouble really. I have to go back anyway."

Sara shrugged casually, "OK then, I'll just catch a ride back with Grissom."

Nick said, "OK then, I will see you all tomorrow. I have tonight off."

Sara waved, "Bye."

Grissom added, "See ya later Nick."

Nick left and Grissom and Sara got into Grissom's car.

"Gil, are we gonna go back to the lab and get my car or do you just want to go to your place?"

Grissom gave her a sly look, "Well, I thought that we could just go to my place."

Sara smiled, "OK, I think it's good that I started keeping stuff at your house. It makes life so much easier."

"I think so too."

They pulled up to Grissom's house and parked. Grissom walked around the car and opened the door for her and helped her out of the car.

"Why thank you, sir."

Grissom pulled her into a hug and kissed her.

Sara laughed, "Can't you wait until we get inside?"

Grissom put his forehead against hers, "I have wanted to do that all day."

Sara teased him, "Well, you hide it well."

Grissom furrowed his brow, "What do you mean?"

"You never touch me at work."

"Well, we're not supposed to even be dating, Sara. I can't just pin you up against the wall in the lab now can I?"

Sara laughed again, "No, I guess not."

Grissom opened the door and let Sara go in first and then followed her in and shut the door.

Sara sat down on the couch and put her head back. She was exhausted. Grissom sat beside her and put an arm around her and pulled her close. She rested her head on his shoulder.

Grissom yawned, "We should get some rest. We both have to be to work in about 8 hours."

"Yeah, I know. I don't want to go back."

Grissom got up and offered her his hand.

"I need a shower and some sleep."

"Yeah, me too."

Grissom pulled her up off the couch, "Come on let's go."

"OK then sleep, Mr. Grissom."

Grissom turned the shower on and got it to the right temperature.

Sara got undressed and joined Grissom in the bathroom. As she walked in Grissom turned to look at her. She took his breath away. God, what a fool he had been to wait seven years. She was the most beautiful woman in the world and she understood him. He walked over and took her face in both hands. He stared deeply into her eyes and then gently kissed her lips. It was just a gentle kiss but it held so much emotion. Sara was feeling that emotion too.

Grissom began slowly, "Sara, I am not good at relationships but know that I do love you and I always will."

"I love you too."

Sara could hardly believe he'd said it. He finally said it. She'd known it for a long time now, but he said it. She didn't realize that she needed to hear it. She shivered. Leave it to him to say it while they were naked in the bathroom. But, he said it. She had that forever.

"Let's get in the shower, I'm cold."

Grissom kissed her again, "OK"

They got in the shower. It was warm and it felt good. They both let the warm water roll down them and relax them. It felt good and they both needed it. Grissom began to massage Sara's shoulders and back.

"Ummmm that feels good."

When he got that initial approval, he went further. He then began to kiss her neck and shoulders. She leaned back into him feeling his desire against her back. Sara turned around and kissed him. The warm water was making them slippery.

"Sara,...."

"Shhhh, Gil, no talking."

She kissed him pressing her body against his. Grissom turned her around and pinned her against the wall of the shower. He kissed her neck, working his way down to her breasts. He took one into his mouth and then moved to the other. Sara moaned her approval of what he was doing. She ran her fingers through his wet hair and down his back. He kissed up her neck and then their lips crashed together again as he lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around him as she lowered herself down onto him. She moaned as she felt him fill her up. They began to move together. It did not take long for Sara to feel the tightening and sweet release that only Gil could give her. She caught her breath as she felt him right behind her. They both just stood there for a minute as they regained their awareness.

Sara kissed him as they caught their breath. Who ever thought this man was a robot did not know him. No robot could do that to her.

"Sara" was all he could manage to say.

"I know." She kissed him again.

They really knew what the other was thinking.

Sara broke the silence, "We better get some sleep. We have to be to work in a few hours."

Grissom sighed, "Yeah, I know."

They got out of the shower and got dressed for bed. Grissom pulled Sara up against his chest and curved against her body. Sleep enveloped them like a warm blanket. Each always slept better when they were together.

They had settled into an easy routine at work. They often worked together, but worked separately enough to not draw suspicion. It had been noted by the others that they were more at peace with each other. No one suspected that they were dating. They'd even had their first misunderstanding as a couple.

They were investigating the case if the Lesters.

Sara was processing and Grissom walked in.

She looked up, "Hey. Husband slept in the other room. His reading glasses are on the nightstand. Clothing's in the dresser."

Grissom added, "That's odd. A man and a woman who don't share a bedroom arrange to have a night along, send their daughter to a relative, go out to dinner, have drinks by the pool, but they sleep in separate bedrooms."

"Maybe one of them snored or had insomnia or liked to work at night." She could understand that. She had never slept well.

Grissom said, "Or maybe they were suffocating each other and he couldn't breathe."

She was shocked. Is that how he felt she wondered?

She continued, "Sexual lubricant. It's half empty. Sticky. You know you don't have to sleep in the same bed together to have sex or….have romance."

She looked at him to gage his reaction. He finally got it. She thought he was talking about them. _Oh she thinks I'm talking about us. _He decided to change the subject.

"I'm going to see the doctor." He made a hasty retreat.

"I'll grid the house."

She would be discussing this with him later.

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Later that night in the safety of his townhouse she brought it up. He was hoping she forgot about the whole thing. She hadn't mentioned it.

"Grissom what did you mean when you said that he couldn't breathe? Is that how you feel? Am I suffocating you?"

"God no Sara. I was just thinking about the case."

He pulled her into a hug. He knew it was bothering her when she called him Grissom. That was never a good sign at home.

Grissom sighed, "I told you I'm not good at the relationship stuff. I love being with you. Don't ever doubt that, Sara."

"It just sounded like you were talking about your feelings."

She had not been the one with doubts before, but that comment had unnerved her a bit. He had pulled away in the past and she thought he was having second thought now. It was her turn to be insecure.

He reassured her that he wanted her and wanted to be with her. He kissed her and took her to the bedroom.

"Sara, I want you to be here with me. You make me happy….always."

She kissed him and began to undress him. She needed the physical reassurance as well. It was her turn to be the aggressor. She pushed him back on the bed and sat on him.

"Gil, you make me happy too. And you are about to reap the benefits of a fight."

"What do you mean?"

"Make-up sex"

She looked at him with a smile that ignited his loins. He smiled back as she went to work on him. Fights had their benefits.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I still don't own them. Gum Drops is one of my Favorite Episodes. I am a HUGE Nicky fan. I save my Fan Fictions about him for private times. Hehehehe.**

**Please let me know if you like it. **

Grissom and Sara were in his office talking about a case when a phone call came in and Grissom answered it.

"Grissom.......Yes.......Do you really need me to come.....can't someone else do it........No, OK will be there.....Thursday? That's in two days...OK, OK I will be there......OK, I will see you then. Email me the flight information and hotel reservations....You owe me.....Bye."

"I take it you are going somewhere?"

She was not mad as much as disappointed. She would miss him.

Grissom walked over and closed the door to his office.

"Sara, honey, don't get mad but they need me to teach a class at the body farm. It's only for a week. The other instructor got sick and can't make it. They need me to fill in. I'm sorry."

"Gil, it's OK. I understand. That's the job. I know how important teaching is to you. Go, with my blessing. I will be OK. You are only going to be gone for a week."

"Thanks, I think it might be fun. I haven't taught at the body farm in a while. I wish you could go with me. You'd like the body farm."

Sara laughed. She knew it was a compliment but is sounded strange to hear the man she loved say that she would love a huge farm with decomposing bodies all over the place.

Grissom was confused, "What?"

"I'd love the body farm?"

"Yes, it's so interesting from a scientific point of view. There is so much to learn there. I learn new stuff every time I go there."

"How romantic."

Grissom was beginning to catch on.

Grissom smiled, "Well, maybe it's not Bermuda, but you'd love all the science there is to learn there."

Sara laughed, "I know. I was just teasing you. Maybe you can take me there another time. Nothing says I love you like the smell of decomp in the morning."

Grissom laughed at her. She really did get him. What a fool he had been to wait so long. He almost let her get away. He was so glad he didn't have to explain this to someone. She understood what was cool about this place.

Sara asked, "What class are you teaching?"

"Human remains recovery. Very interesting."

He proceeded to tell her about what the class will entail for the students. Sara loved to see that spark in his eyes. He really has a passion for this job. The only other time his eyes light up like that is when they make love. Listening to him talk was kind of turning her on. She had to change the subject.

"Take pictures for me. Now I really wish I could be there. I've never been to the body farm."

"What? I thought you went when we found that guy at the one up in the mountains here."

"Nope, that was Catherine."

Grissom teased her, "Well, maybe I can arrange a private tour when I get back."

"That would be totally awesome."

Grissom asked her again, "Are you sure you are OK with this."

"Yes, honey, I am."

"OK, wanna help me pack when we get home?"

"Sure."

Grissom and Sara left his office and headed to the break room and Grissom handed out assignments. He said nothing to the team about him being gone. He just went on like nothing happened.

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On the day he was to leave Grissom and the team was in the break room. Grissom handed out assignments.

Grissom started, "Catherine, you have a 419 at the Four Aces."

Catherine snorted, "Big shocker there. How many does that make this year? Five?"

"Nick you have a suspicious circs in Pioche. A mysterious 911 call and a blood pool. They entire family is missing. Go see what you can find. Sara, Warrick and Greg will be there if you need them.

Nick quipped, "I better get a map and find Pioche, is it? Do I have time to get some clothes together and then head out?'

Grissom smiled, "Yeah, go now and head out. Call me later on my cell."

He turned to Sara, "I want you to finish logging the evidence from the 419 last night then be on standby to help Nick. I have a bad feeling about this one."

Sara looked confused, "Sure."

Grissom turned to Warrick, "You and Greg have a Breaking and Entering in Summerlin. Get it processed and get back here."

"OK, come on, Sanders, let's go."

It was just Sara and Grissom in the Break room now.

Grissom whispered, "Wanna take me to the airport?

"Sure, what about the evidence?"

Grissom's face curled into a mischievous smile, "I did it earlier. I just wanted and excuse having you here to take me to the airport."

Sara chuckled, "Sneaky aren't we."

He flashed a sexy smile."Yep, let's get out of here."

"Come on, let's go. What time is your flight?"

As they walked out of the building, Sara and Grissom got in her Denali and drove off.

"Got the red eye at 3:00 am. I have to be there at 2:00."

"Want to get something to eat first?"

Grissom deadpanned, "No, I want you."

Sara smiled at him, "Gil, we are technically at work."

Grissom sighed, "I know, you better go get some clothes packed and get ready to head to Pioche. Nick will need you."

"OK, let's go by my place on the way to the airport."

"OK."

They arrived at Sara's apartment and went inside to get her some clothes packed.

Grissom came up behind her and kissed her neck.

"Gil, I need to get packed and you have to catch a flight in a couple of hours."

"Can't blame me for trying. I am gonna be gone a week."

Sara had a pang of emotion at that. It was beginning to hit her that he would be gone.

"I know, but just think how much sweeter it'll be when you get back."

Grissom smirked, "I'll hold you to that."

Sara put on a forced smile, "Come on, you have to be there in 30 min to check in."

Grissom and Sara arrived at the airport. The awkwardness was back. They did not know how to say goodbye.

Grissom said, "Well, I guess I should get in there."

Sara squeaked, "Yep."

Grissom leaned in to her, "I thought you were OK with this."

"I'll just miss you."

Grissom whispered, "I'll miss you, too Dear."

Grissom leaned over and kissed her. He wiped away the tear that has rolled down her cheek and got out of the car.

"Bye." He offered.

Just then his cell phone rang. He answered it, "Grissom"

"Hey, Boss, it's Nick. I'm gonna need Sara and Warrick and Greg. It's a mess here."

"OK, I'll call Sara and have her come up right away."

"OK, I'll keep you posted."

"Thanks, let me know what you find."

"OK, will do."

"Bye."

Grissom turned to Sara.

"That was Nick. He needs you."

"OK, I'll get up there pronto. So, goodbye and call me when you get there. I need to know you're safe."

Grissom leaned in and kissed Sara one last time before he had to go in. Neither wanted to say goodbye.

Grissom sighed, "Bye, I'll miss you and I'll see you when I get back."

Sara nodded, "Bye, see you, call me."

"I will."

With that he shut the door and headed into the airport. Sara watched him go. She had no idea this would be so hard.

Sara sighed, "What have you done to me, Gil Grissom?"

She drove off to help Nick.

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It was early morning and Sara heard her cell phone ring. Sleepily she answered it.

"Hello?"

Grissom was chipper on the other end, "Hi, Honey it's me."

Sara sat up, "Gil, how are you?"

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry. You are usually ending shift about now."

"Yeah, we're still in Pioche. It turned out to be a triple. We're still looking for the little girl. Nick thinks she's still alive. He's obsessed with this case. I just hope we find her for his sake."

"Me too. I know how he gets about kids."

Sara began to explain the case to him.

"We did find the motive. Pot. Dad had a marijuana garden in the basement."

"Wow. The things people will do even with kids in the house. Keep me posted…. I miss you."

Sara smiled, "I miss you too."

"I can't wait 'til I get home."

Sara laughed, "Well, then hurry up. How are the classes going?"

"Well. They are learning a lot. I had forgotten how much I enjoy teaching."

"I'm glad you got to do it then."

"Yeah, me too. I only wish you were here with me."

There was a knock at the door of Sara's room.

"Someone is at the door. I gotta go."

"OK, bye. I'll call you later."

Sara said, "Bye."

She then turned to the door, "Who is it?"

"It's Nick Sara. May I come in?"

Sara was still groggy, "Hang on...."

"OK."

Sara got up and put on her pants and shirt and opened the door.

Sara looked at Nick who was wide awake and chipper.

"You suck. How can you be so awake?"

Nick ignored that comment, "We got a lead. Let's go."

Sara rolled her eyes, "Let me at least get fully dressed and brush my teeth."

Nick prodded, "OK, but hurry. I have a good feeling about this one."

Sara sighed, "Nick, look, I really doubt......"

Nick cut her off, "I just have a feeling. I don't know what it is. I just feel like she is still alive."

Sara stared at him for a moment, "OK, give me about 5 minutes."

"OK. I'll be in the car......Hurry."

Sara closed the door and finished getting dressed. She thought about calling Grissom back, but decided to wait until there was more to tell him.

Nick drove to the marina of the lake in record time. They searched the lake most of the day. Just after sunset he did indeed find Cassie alive. Nick had accompanied her to the hospital. He stayed with her for a while then went back to change and get ready to go home.

Sara:"Good for you Nick. I'm glad you didn't give up."

Nick:"Me too."

Sara's phone rang again. She saw it was Grissom and excused herself.

Sara whispered, "Hey, there."

"How's the case going?"

"We found her alive, or rather Nick did."

"Good. Did you catch the perps?"

"Yep."

"Great job. Hey, I have news. I am going to leave here a day earlier."

Sara could not contain the grin that crept over her face.

"This day is getting better all the time."

Grissom could hear the timber of her voice change. He knew he had made her happy.

"I'll be home day after tomorrow."

Sara teased him, "Good. I can't wait. I have something special planned for you."

"Oh, really? Do tell."

Sara said firmly, "Nope, it's a surprise."

"Really? Now I am intrigued."

Sara flirted, "Oh and you will be pleased when you get home."

Nick walked up behind her, "Sar, you ready to go? Who are you talking to?"

Sara thought quickly, "Oh, Grissom. He was calling to see how the case was going and when we will be home. Things are piling up in Vegas and they need us there."

"You can go. I need to finish up here then I'll be back. I need to go see Cassie. Say hi to Grissom for me."

Nick was distracted and did not catch the gist of the conversation.

Sara called out to Nick as he left, "Oh, OK, see you in Vegas.........Sorry that was Nick."

"I know. I heard."

"If we are not careful we're gonna get caught."

"I'll call you later. Have a safe drive home."

"Bye."

She was a little sad their conversation had to end, but she knew that was the way it had to be. It would only be a few days and he would be home, back in her arms, back in her bed.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Smut alert in this one.**

**I still don't own them, but the fun I could have if I did.**

**Thanks for reading. I love to read the reviews so please leave me one (Yes, I'm begging).**

Two days later she picked him up at the airport. She actually felt her heart skip a beat when she saw him come off the plane. It was everything she could do to not tackle him right there in the airport.

Grissom felt the same way. When he saw her waiting there for him, he grinned. He had never had anyone do to him what she can do. She was his other half. She made him complete. Grissom walked up to her and kissed her there in the airport. He didn't care who saw them.

Grissom said, "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too. Are you ready to go home?"

"As long as you're there, I'd go anywhere."

Sara kissed him again and they left the airport.

Sara said seductively, "I have tonight off."

"Good, because I had planned on keeping you home anyway."

Grissom saw the bag in the backseat of her car and wondered where they were going.

He questioned her, "What's the bag for?"

Sara said coyly, "I told you, I have plans for you. You don't always have to be in control, you know."

Grissom chuckled, "I haven't been in control in months.....and I like it. You have this way of making me feel wonderfully off balance."

Sara laughed, "That is my evil plan."

"Well then you are succeeding my Dear."

Grissom saw where Sara had pulled up to. They were at a small bed and breakfast in Boulder.

"What are we doing here?"

"I wanted you all to myself for a night. So, I left the cell at home and the pager. As far as everyone else knows you are coming home tomorrow. Tonight you are all mine."

Grissom sensed her desire. He felt the same way. They checked in and found their way to their room. There were only four rooms in the whole place and only one of those was rented for the night.

Owner explained the procedures, "Breakfast is served from 7:30 to 9:30. Check out time is 12:00pm. I hope you enjoy your stay here. Call if you need anything. There is a great restaurant next door. Ms. Sidle the items you requested have been taken care of."

"Thank you." She tipped him and he left.

Grissom's eyebrows hiked up, "Items?"

Sara silenced his questions, "That is for later, but for now....."

She walked over and kissed him all the desire she had been feeling came out in that kiss. It was about passion and need. Grissom returned it. He walked her to the bed without breaking the kiss. The tumbled on the bed breathless with the need for air and passion.

"Sara, I......"

She stopped him with her lips. She pulled his shirt off over the head as he did the same for her. Next where the pants and under things. They were both ready and their union was quick but filled with pleasure.

"Gil, I love you."

"I love you, too." He said it. He really said it and me meant it. It was just hard for him to say. He loved her more than he had ever loved anyone.

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Grissom and Sara sat on the patio of their room watching the sun set over the desert. It was a beautiful night. Sara was so happy to be here with Grissom all to herself. They got so little time for just them. They always had to be careful of who might see them. It also made it feel a bit special. It was their secret. She had so many secrets about her past that were not good. This was a good secret. She was not ready to share this with everyone yet. Grissom was hers and she wanted to keep it that way for a while longer. She also knew that if Ecklie found out they would be split up at work. She didn't want that either.

Grissom stroked her back, "What are you thinking about? You look lost in thought."

"About you, us, the future."

Grissom smiled, "Big thought there."

"Gil, I have never been this happy and I want it to last forever."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Good."

She came over and sat with him on his lounge. He put his arm around her and they snuggled there until the sun was down.

Grissom asked, "Are you getting hungry?"

"Actually, I am."

"Do you want to go check out the restaurant the manager told us about?"

"Sure."

"Let's go get changed and go on over."

"OK."

They went in and got ready for dinner. When they were done, they walked across the street to the restaurant. It was a romantic place and the food was great. When dinner was done they went back to their room. Sara was drawn to the patio again.

Sara called to Grissom, "Hey, the patio has a fire place outside. Do you want to light a fire and sit outside?"

"You were reading my mind."

"Go light the fire and I'll be right out."

Grissom obeyed and Sara came out a few minutes later with a dish of Strawberries, a bowl of chocolate dipping sauce and a bottle of champagne.

Grissom raised an eyebrow and gave her a sideways glance, "Are these the items that the manager referred to?

Sara shot back, "Part of them."

Grissom was truly interested now, "Part? You have this well planned, my Dear."

Sara didn't answer him. She walked over and kissed him. She gently pushed him back onto the lounge. Again, he was obedient.

"Try a strawberry, they look great."

Grissom said, "Where did you get strawberries this time of year?"

"I'm a very determined woman."

Sara dipped the strawberry in chocolate and fed it to Grissom. She followed that with another kiss. She tasted the chocolate on his lips still.

Grissom whispered into her ear, "Yes, you are."

Grissom took the lead and planted kisses down her neck. He dipped a strawberry and fed it to Sara. Sara handed Grissom a glass of champagne and poured one for herself.

"Gil, I waited a long time for this and I don't ever want anything to come between us."

"Me either."

Grissom leaned in and kissed her. They drank their champagne and went inside.

Grissom took Sara by the hand and pulled her close. She leaned in knowing what he wanted. Their bodies fit together. He leaned down and kissed her letting his desire for her flow into that kiss. Sara could feel the results of that desire pressing against her hip. She slid her hands down his chest and reached for his waistband. She could feel his approval in his response. He then ran his hands under her shirt and slid it up and off. Sara unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall to the floor. She kissed his chest and took in his scent. Grissom kissed her neck. She moaned out her approval. Grissom removed her bra with one hand. They helped each other out of their remaining clothes.

Grissom stood there a moment and looked at Sara. God, how he wanted this woman. She could go things to him that nobody had ever done before. He gently placed her on the bed and laid down beside her.

Sara looked into those blue eyes that could make her melt. All he had to do was look at her and she was his. She would do whatever he asked of her. She knew the words 'I Love You' were hard for him to say, but those eyes said it all. She knew how he felt about her.

Grissom kissed her again. Sara's body began to tingle. His touch was sending waves of desire through her body. She wanted him...now, and she let him know it.

Grissom felt the same tingles she did. He wanted to please her. He kissed down her neck slowly and then her chest. He stopped and lingered there for a moment before kissing down her body. She wriggled under him. He ran his hand down her belly and down to her folds. She arched against his hand. She was ready for him. She could hardly contain herself. Grissom sensed it was time and moved to enter her.

The first thrust was slow, almost agonizing. Sara voiced her pleasure.

Grissom let her enjoy that for a moment before he continued. She matched his rhythm. This time they went slower and let the pleasure build until they couldn't stand it. Sara knew she was not going to last much longer. Then she felt the waves of ecstasy flow and warm her body. Grissom was on the edge and let the pleasure consume him also.

They fell asleep in each other's arms, warm and safe.

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Grissom and Sara slept in each other's arms. The sunlight was playing peek-a-boo with the curtains. Sara woke up first and looked at the clock. It was 7:15 in the morning. She remembered last night and a smile curled her lips. She was still amazed at the passion Gil could possess. He knew how to please her. She was totally in love with him. She tried not to wake him as she got up.

Grissom pulled her back onto the bed.

"Hey, beautiful where are you going?"

Sara tried to get up again.

"To the bathroom and then to get dressed. Breakfast is being served in a few minutes and I'm starving."

Grissom pulled her back again, "Come here first."

Sara rolled over to face him and he kissed her.

Grissom whispered, "Good morning."

"Good morning."

"Care to join me for a shower before breakfast?"

"Sure, but I am starving so be quick."

Grissom grinned, "A quickie? That has possibilities."

Sara laughed out loud, "Gilbert Grissom, no. I need breakfast. You'll just have to wait.....I will make it worth your while."

She flashed him a Sara smile and ran to the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed. Grissom could not help but smile. When she smiled at him like that he could not resist her. He would wait and she would make it worth it, she always did.

They took their shower and went down to eat. Breakfast was scrumptious: Fresh baked goods, eggs, ham, juices, coffee. They ate until they were full and went up to pack for home. They had to be out by noon. They both had to work that night and they knew they would need rest before then.

Grissom surveyed the room, "Do you have everything?"

"I think so."

"Shall we go then?"

Sara leaned against him and he wrapped his arms around her.

Sara said, "I don't want to. I want to stay here with you forever. I don't want to go back to work."

"You know we have to. How about we stay at my place and drive in together. We can explain that you came to get me from the airport and that there was not time to go home before the shift and then you can take me home after shift.

"Sounds good. Do I get to stay then too?"

"Any time you want to. You know that. In fact… I have something for you. I have been meaning to give this to you."

Grissom reached into his pocket and pulled out a key ring. There was a key to a door and a fob that was a butterfly.

Sara looked at what Grissom had for her. She was shocked. She knew how he relished his privacy so when he presented her with a key to his house, she didn't know what to say.

Grissom teased, "What? You don't want it?"

It wasn't often Grissom could make Sara speechless.

Sara stammered, "NO, I do. I'm just surprised."

"Look, I have never felt this way about anyone, Sara. I want you to be a part of my life. I want you to feel like you can come over any time. So, take it."

Sara took the key. For Grissom this was a proclamation of love. He had never given another person the key to his house before. He did not go all the way he wanted to go. What he really wanted to do was to ask Sara to move in with him. He didn't know why it was so hard for him to tell her what he felt. He felt these things, he just couldn't say them.

"I'll get one made for you to my place, though your place is much nicer."

Grissom smirked, "Oh, I don't know about that. I have very fond memories of your bedroom…your shower…..your kitchen….the livingroom…."

Sara laughed. She knew what he was referring to. It had been a short three months since Grissom came over that night and they had made love for the first time at her apartment. It seemed like yesterday and a life time at the same time. She has loved him for so long and now he belongs to her. She still had to pinch herself to be sure she was not dreaming.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Still don't own them. Just borrow them once in a while. There is dialogue from Secrets and Flies in this one.**

**Please leave a review.**

It had been a slow night until the very end of shift. They got a call out to the house of an apparent suicide. Catherine and Sara got the original call out. A young woman had apparently killed herself with her baby in the house. Both Sara and Catherine quickly saw that she did not kill herself. Grissom showed up to help with the scene. His cell phone was ringing off the hook but he kept ignoring it.

Catherine asked annoyed, "Who do you keep avoiding?"

Grissom snapped back, "Ecklie."

"Ah, that means you should answer it."

"No, he just wants to yell at me because I'm late with the personnel evaluations. It can wait."

Catherine was annoyed again, "No, it can't. No one on your team receives cost of living adjustments until those evaluations are turned in."

Warrick winced, "Well, she kinda has a point. I do like to take the wife out to dinner every now and then."

Grissom realized it was important, "I'll do them as soon as I get back to the Lab."

Sophia walked in the room

Catherine was surprised, "Sophia."

Sophia greeted them, "Hey, Catherine. Grissom, Ecklie's been looking for you. Is your cell not working?"

Grissom was shocked, "What are you doing here?"

Sophia was annoyed, "Well, apparently I was a CSI, then a detective, but now I'm a messenger. You're needed at the Lab ASAP."

Grissom's turn to be annoyed, "Why?"

Sophia smirked, "I have no idea, but the under-sheriff's camped out in the break room."

Catherine sighed, "I'll have Greg run down the gun's serial number, Nick's covering the autopsy, Warrick and I'll finish the processing here and I'll keep you posted."

Grissom said, "Ugh, Thanks."

"What would you do without me?"

Grissom went back to the lab to talk to Ecklie and the under-sheriff. They needed him to listen to testimony in a case involving a former colleague of Grissom's. The testimony involved insect activity on a body of a young girl that was a family friend of the Under-sheriff. Grissom went to listen to the testimony of Mark Thayer and knew that he was lying.

Grissom went back to his office and began reviewing the evidence. His phone rang.

"Grissom."

Sara was on the other end, "Hey, why did you leave the scene so fast? Catherine said that Ecklie and the under-sheriff were waiting to see you. Then you had your cell off until just now. What's going on?"

"They needed me to listen to the testimony of Mark Thayer and see if he was telling the truth, which he is not. I gotta look at the evidence and prove it. I'm gonna be at the lab all day. You go home and get some rest. I'll see you later."

Sara laughed, "How are you going to get home? I was your ride."

"Oh, that's right. I'll just take the Denali or you can get me later."

Sara offered, "I'll come get you later. I can help if you need me."

"You get some rest. You just pulled a double. Sorry about our plans for tonight."

"It's OK. I'll come get you in a while."

"Thanks. We can grab some dinner and a change of clothes. I have been in the same clothes for two shifts."

"OK, I'll be there in a while."

"Bye."

He regretted missing their date. It was not the first time the job had gotten in the way and he was sure it would not be the last. He missed his time with her when she was not with him, but there was no use in both of them being exhausted.

She came to pick him up a few hours later. He was nearly asleep at his desk. He knew Thayer was lying. The Sheriff was breathing down his neck and he wanted to prove Thayer wrong for personal reasons as well. It did not sit well with Grissom for the evidence to be manipulated. He knew it was. He just had to find a way to prove it. He poured over the pictures again and again. He read and reread the journals. He was missing something, but what? He knew with fresh eyes he would find it. He needed to rest now.

He heard her walk up before he saw her.

"Hey, you ready to go?"

Grissom sighed, "Yeah, I know he's lying."

"You'll find it."

He could feel his pulse rising. He knew he only did that when he was really pissed, and he was really pissed now. He needed to relax.

When they got back to Grissom's townhouse he collapsed on the couch. His whole body ached from fatigue. Sara fixed him a cup of tea and sent him to the shower. The hot water felt good and he was less tired when he came out to see that she had also fixed him something to eat. He was exhausted and just wanted to sleep.

"I'm not hungry"

She sounded like him, "Gil, you need to eat"

"I don't think I could."

Sara laughed.

"What's so funny?"

He was too tired to see the humor.

"We've reversed roles. You are usually pestering me to sleep and eat. Here I am trying to get you to do the same."

He chuckled, "I now understand why you get so frustrated with me when I do that. It's really annoying."

"I know, it is huh?"

She turned serious, "You really do need to eat and then get some sleep."

"I know and I will."

He ate the sandwich she had prepared for him and finished the tea. He then headed for the bedroom. She followed him. He poured himself into the bed and Sara snuggled up against him. They slept.

The next day Sara and Catherine looked into the agency that finds mothers for embryos that are in cryogenic storage.

Grissom continued to work on disproving the time line set by Mark Thayer. The under-sheriff came in to talk to Grissom just as he discovered that there are dead flies on the pig. There should not be dead flies on the pig. Grissom has a possible way to disprove what Thayer was saying. Sara was right. He did find it. Grissom proved that Thayer sprayed the pig with Malathion to slow down the laying of eggs on the body.

The court room was buzzing when Grissom pronounced his findings. Thayer was arrested and Grissom was arrested and he called Sara to tell her what happened.

Sara and Catherine had just wrapped up their case when he called. They did find you who the biological parents of the baby were and they talked to the woman and her mother. They did prove that the mother killed the woman in the house so that her daughter would get custody of the baby

After court Grissom called Sara to tell her what happened.

Sara saw who it was on the caller ID, "Hi, what happened?"

"We got him. The DA actually arrested him for jury manipulation."

Sara said in a sultry voice, "Do you feel like celebrating?"

Grissom was too tired to catch it, "No, I feel like sleeping, but how about we get some dinner first?"

"OK. I have to work tonight. I hope you get the night off. You just worked two doubles in a row."

Grissom pulled at his tie, "Yeah, I do have the night off. I will see you in about 30 minutes. Why don't you meet me at my place? I need to change my clothes. I hate wearing a suit."

Sara teased, "But you look so sexy in you suit."

"The only thing I can think of is getting out of this thing right now."

"That's all I can think of, too."

Grissom laughed, "You are incorrigible, Sara Sidle."

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Grissom and Sara were sleeping when Grissom's cell phone began to ring. They both woke up with a start. Grissom looked at the clock and cursed the daylight blaring at him from the window across the room. It was 9:30 in the morning. Who the hell was calling him at this time of day? Did they not realize he worked nights?

"Grissom."

Ecklie was on the other end, "Gil, I know you are probably sleeping, but I need you to come in. There has been a major incident. I need you to report to the command post at Jefferson and third."

Grissom shot up out of bed, "What the hell happened?"

"There has been an officer involved shooting. One cop is dead and three suspects are dead. Brass and Sophia are involved."

Grissom sighed, "OK, give me about 30 minutes and I will be there."

"OK."

Sara questioned him, "What happened?"

He was out of bed and getting dressed.

"There's been a shootout and they need me to report to the Command Post as soon as possible. Brass and Sophia were involved in the shooting. One cop is dead. I need to go."

"Are they OK?"

Grissom's voice was muffled as he pulled his shirt over his head, "Yes."

"You better get going then."

"I'll call you later."

"OK, let me know what happened."

Grissom kissed her, "OK, get some more rest

He got in the car and drove to the Lab. He ran into Catherine in the hallway.

"Hey, Gil."

"What is it Catherine?"

"Do you want to ride with me?"

"Sure."

Grissom and Catherine arrived at the command post. It was a chaotic mess of police, rescue personnel and community members. Grissom soon realized that he will need all of the members of his team and called them. He called Sara last.

Sara was fully awake. He'd expected to wake her up.

"Hi, do you need me to come in?"

Grissom grimaced, "Yeah, sorry."

"I kinda figured you would so I got ready. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Thanks, I owe you."

Sara smiled, "Yes, you do and I will collect later."

When Sara and the rest of the team get there they began processing the scene as Grissom had instructed them to.

Nick groaned, "Hell of a way to come back after two weeks off. I had a great vacation though."

Sara laughed, "And apparently forgot to shave your upper lip."

Nick looked hurt, "What? You don't like it?"

"Ummmm.......not really sorry. Kinda looks like you have a caterpillar on your face."

Nick pouted, "I like it."

"OK. I'm just saying…kinda looks like a pornstache."

They continued to process the scene. Nothing more was said about Nick's facial hair.

**A/N: A shout out to Kasey82800 for naming Nicky's pornstache---Happy Birthday. Love ya**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: There is dialogue from A Bullet Runs Through It part one and two in here. **

Grissom and the rest of the team were processing the scene and when they were done they went back to the lab to analyze what they have found. Grissom found Sara in the layout room hunched over looking at various photos of the scene.

Grissom stood in the doorway watching her for a moment before he said anything, "Hey."

Sara looked up, "Hey, long shift, huh?"

"Yeah and it's not over yet. I have to go back out there to check on Greg. I was wondering if you wanted to get something to eat first. Just a quick bite?"

"Uhhh....sure."

"What's up?"

"Just a long day. I hope this doesn't come out bad."

Grissom sighed, "Me, too. The community is really outraged over this one."

Sara winced, "I saw that on TV."

"So, where do you wanna go to eat?"

"Oh, I don't care. How about the vegetarian place on 18th?"

"OK. Do you mind taking two cars? I have to head back to the scene."

"OK. Meet you there in about 30 minutes then?"

"Sure."

He had the urge to lean in a kiss her, but did not. That would have to wait for later when they were alone.

Sara had the same urge. She could use some tenderness right now. She too, knew that it would have to wait until later. Cases like this make their secret harder to handle.

Grissom and Sara met at the restaurant and ordered dinner. They each ordered a salad. Grissom reached out and took Sara's hand. Right now they could just be Gil and Sara, lovers. Not Grissom and Sidle, CIS and supervisor.

Grissom asked gently, "You OK?"

"Yeah, just tired. I was up late and then got awakened early. Some man kept pestering me in bed."

Grissom smiled and pulled her closer to him. She slid over in the booth until they were sitting very close together. He kissed her on the forehead and she relaxed into him. They both needed this.

"I'll finish with the layout while you're at the scene, see what we can find. Greg's still out there looking for bullets?"

Grissom sighed, "Yeah. I think I should go help him."

"OK, let me know what you find."

Their dinner arrived and they ate while they chatted. There was no talk of work. They were making plans for the weekend. They were planning a picnic in the mountains. They needed some time away. When they were done Grissom headed back to the scene and Sara headed back to the lab.

Sometime later Sara's phone rang and she answered it. He looked at the caller ID.

"Hi, Gil."

"Hi."

He sounded tired and stressed.

"Where are you headed now?"

Grissom paused but answered, "Autopsy on Bell."

"Oh... Rough."

Grissom was tired, "Yeah, and then I'm off to PD to meet with the Under Sheriff and Ecklie. Then I will be back to the lab. I can't wait for this shift to be over. All I wanna do is crawl into bed and hold you."

"Sounds good to me. Let me know what happens."

Grissom sighed, "OK. bye."

Grissom finally came back to the lab and headed for his office. He was now into his second shift and there was no end in sight. He found Sophia waiting for him. As they were talking, Sara walked in. She saw them talking and was a bit ticked off.

Sara walked in and stopped dead, " Hey, Grissom, I have a question....Sophia.....you're on administrative leave."

Sophia snapped, "I know."

Sara was trying not to get angry, "You should not be in this building."

Sophia barked at her, "Yeah, I was just talking to a friend. If I can't talk to a friend, who the hell am I supposed to talk to?"

Sara said, "Any friend outside the department."

"Yeah, and how many friends outside work do you have Sara? Oh, maybe I should go talk to my mother, oh no sorry, she's a cop, too."

Sara snapped back, "I can recommend a Departmental psychologist."

Grissom said nothing. He was shocked at Sara's behavior. It was actually sort of amusing to him.

Sophia sighed, "Your right, this was a really bad idea. I'm sorry."

Sophia left

Grissom started out, "Don't you think you were a bit harsh on her?"

Sara crossed her arms in a defensive move, "Maybe, but why did she come to you?"

"Sara, are you jealous?"

Sara yelled, "NO!"

Grissom smiled, "You are."

Grissom was amused to see Sara jealous.

Sara stammered, "Gil, I..."

Grissom reassured her, "You don't need to worry. There is nothing between me and Sophia."

Sara chose her words carefully, "I...look, it took so long for us to happen, and I am just......protective of that."

Grissom whispered in her ear, "Sara, Honey, you have nothing to worry about. I'm not going anywhere."

He reached behind her and closed the door. Then he leaned in and gave her a soft kiss.

Sara relaxed a bit, "I just can't lose you now."

Grissom reassured her, "You won't. Now let's go home and grab a shower and a change of clothes before we head back out. I'll take you to your place and then we can head to mine."

"OK.....but we don't have time for anything but a change of clothes. We need to get this done. What did you find out at Autopsy?"

"It looks like Bell was killed by friendly fire. Sophia was telling me she thinks she shot him. We need to get back to the scene to figure out what happened. Come on, I'll drive."

Sara answered, "Fine."

When they got to Grissom's house, they jumped in the shower, but as Sara reminded him they didn't have time for anything else. They were about to start their third shift and they needed to get going. They got dressed and grabbed a bite to eat and then headed back to the scene.

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Sara was looking for the bullet that killed Bell. There were now three shifts looking for evidence. Grissom walked up to her needing her help.

Grissom smiled at her, "Sara? Will you come with me to the east alley, please?"

"I thought my top priority as per the undersheriff was finding the bullet that went through Bell."

"Well, this is per me. Come on, It'll be fun."

Sara was all too happy to go with Grissom, "OK."

They walked to the alley and Grissom went up to look at the roof.

Grissom called down. "Sara"

"Yeah?"

"Call Hodges at the lab. Have him bring two exemplar .45's out here. I'll get Ortega to bring Brass and Sgt. Carroll."

Sara was confused, "Are you gonna tell me what's going on?"

Grissom quipped, "What goes up must come down."

Brass, Hodges, Ortega, Sgt. Carroll, Grissom and Sara were in the alley. They were trying to figure out what happened.

They threw the guns up on the roof to show how the pistol could have gotten back into the suspects hands. They did prove that Sgt. Carroll did not shoot an unarmed man. The case was coming together

On the way back to the lab they were talking about the case and trying to figure out what happened.

Grissom wasn't satisfied, "We need to figure out who shot Bell."

Sara knew him too well to think that he would just let it go, "Yeah. But how are we gonna do it?"

Grissom was thinking out loud, "We need to see what Bobby Dawson found."

"OK. I will find out what the results were and get these bullets back to him to process. There is just so much to do."

Grissom exhaled loudly, "I know."

They arrived back at the lab and got to work. There was still so much to do.

When Bobby found blood and they proved it's Bell's they knew a cop killed him. Now they had to prove which cop did it. They sat up the cars and wait for dark. They eliminated Sophia. They could tell it was Brass that killed him. As they drove back to the lab Grissom was quiet. He was shaken up. He had just proven that his friend killed another cop.

It was Sara's turn to reach out, "Gil, are you OK?"

Grissom absently mindedly said, "I have to tell him. I should be the one to do it. He's my friend."

Sara was supportive, "Are you sure?"

Grissom's voice was strained, "I want him to hear it before the public does. I owe him that much."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

Grissom paused, "No, I can do it on my own. Then I have to go to the community meeting at the church."

Sara cupped his cheek, "You mean we have to go."

Grissom smiled at her, "Thanks for your support. It means a lot to me. Just knowing you're there helps me."

Sara kissed him, "I'll always be there for you. I love you."

"Thanks, that means a lot."

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Grissom and Sara have survived the community meeting about the shoot out on Jefferson. It was brutal but they got through it. When he had needed support she was there. He was silent as he drove back to the townhouse.

Sara looked over at Grissom. He looked tired. It had been a long couple of days and they were both ready for sleep. They both had the next day off and had planned to sleep most of it.

Sara wrapped her arms around him, "Gil, you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired. This case took a toll on everyone. I'm ready to just hide out for a couple of days."

"Sounds like a great plan. Are you hungry?"

Grissom murmured into her hair, "No. I just want a shower and sleep."

"Come on, then. Let's go."

Sara led him to the bedroom and started the shower she undressed and then undressed Grissom. She directed him to the shower and joined him. They just let the warm water run down them and they began to relax. It felt good, but it let them know how tired they were. When they were done, Sara pulled on a t-shirt and shorts. Grissom put on some lounge pants and they crawled in bed. Grissom was lying on his back. Sara snuggled up with her head on his chest. They just lay there for a long time not talking. Grissom pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. He needed this. She understood his need for quiet time. He needed to think. She knew that. He loved her for that.

Sara just let him think. She knew he would talk to her when he was ready. In the mean time she would just be here for him. It was a long while before Grissom spoke.

"Sara.....thanks."

"For what?"

"For not pushing me to talk."

"You're welcome."

He began to talk about his thoughts. Sara just let him talk.

"It was hard today. Jim took the news really hard. I hated to tell him, but I think it was easier coming from me. We have known each other for a long time."

"I know."

Grissom said, "Do you want a bite to eat?"

Sara offered, "I'll make something."

"Thanks."

Sara went to the kitchen and made some sandwiches and tea. She brought it to the bedroom and they ate. Sara took the dishes back to the kitchen. By the time she got back to the bedroom Grissom was asleep on the bed. She covered him up and kissed him on the forehead. She crawled into bed with him and let sleep envelop her too.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:**

**Smut in this one. I still don't own them, but I like to pretend.**

**Please read and review.**

It was the next day when they finally woke up. Dawn was just darting through the windows. Grissom woke up first. It took him a moment to shake the cobwebs out and come awake. He looked over and saw Sara sleeping next to him. The events of the past several days assaulted him again. He had prayed it was a bad dream, but he knew it wasn't. He closed his eyes against the memories and lay back down. He felt Sara stirring next to him. He reached out and touched her cheek.

Grissom whispered to her, "Good morning."

Sara stretched, "Hi.....what time is it?"

"It's about 6 in the morning."

"Wow, we slept for a long time. I'm starving. Let's go get something to eat."

Grissom said, "Sure, where do you want to eat?"

"I want waffles and strawberries. How about The Peppermill?"

"Sure, let's get dressed and go. I just want to spend the day with you and forget everything else."

Sara smiled that Sidle smile at him. He melted at that. He leaned in to kiss her. She responded by slipping her arms around his neck. The kiss deepened. Grissom began kissing her neck and then down her body. He ran his hands up under her shirt. She raised her arms as he slid the shirt over her head. He stopped for a moment to admire her then he leaned in and kissed her again. He gently pushed her down on the bed and lay on top of her. She pulled his shirt over his head and then took off his pajamas. The kisses became more passionate. Sara felt his response on her thigh. She relented to him as he gently entered her and began a slow rhythm. This was something they did well. No words needed. They knew what the other wanted and needed. Sara moaned as he kissed her all over. She reciprocated his kisses. His rhythm became faster until he could not stop. Sara felt him release inside her. She was not far behind him. They just lay there in the afterglow.

Grissom breathlessly said, "Sara...."

Sara whispered to him, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Grissom kissed her again and scooped her up in his arms. He had fully intended to make love to her again but she had other intentions.

"Gil.....I'm hungry."

Grissom laughed and let her go.

"OK, let's go eat."

They had made plans for the day and were packing so they could leave right from the restaurant. Grissom was taking her for a picnic in the mountains. They both had the day off. The past week had been hard on them and they needed to get away.

Grissom called out over his shoulder, "Honey, do we have everything?"

Sara took inventory, "I think so. Food, Blanket, no cell phones."

Grissom laughed at that. They were going to leave the cell phones at home. No work today.

Grissom wrapped his arms around her. "Let's get going then."

They ate and headed out to the mountains.

While they were in the car, they talked about their plans for Thanksgiving.

"Gil, what do you want to do for Thanksgiving? It's next week."

"I hadn't really thought about it. What about you?"

"Well...we can spend it together. We can cook."

"Spending it together is a given. Cooking together sounds good to me. How about my place?"

"Really?"

Grissom added, "I'll make vegetarian dishes for you. If you don't mind though I want to have turkey. It reminds me of my mother."

"OK...sounds like fun."

"Good."

They continued up to the mountains and found a nice spot for a picnic. The day was spent just enjoying each other's company. They had only been a couple for four months, but what a four months it had been.

Grissom pulled her up from the blanket, "Wanna take a walk with me?"

"Um....sure"

He took her hand as they walked. Grissom pointed out many different plants to her.

Sara smiled, "I thought you were only into bugs. Where did you learn so much about plants?"

She thought it was sexy when he was the teacher.

"My dad. He was a botany professor. He taught me. You know all of those specimens I have, they were his. We used to take long walks and he would teach me about plants. It's where I became interested in bugs. One kind lead to the other."

Sara squeezed his hand as he remembered his father. She knew he was thinking about his death. She didn't push. He began to tell her the story.

"I had just turned 9. It was about a week after my birthday. He was outside working in the yard. It was hot. He came in and laid down and never got up. I never knew why. I think that's why I chose this job. I can help others know why."

"It's tough. Believe me, I know."

Grissom nodded, "I know you do. Let's talk about happier things."

"Like what?"

"Christmas. It's right after Thanksgiving. What do you want for Christmas?"

Sara laughed, "Wow, you are thinking that far ahead?"

"I gotta get shopping. Give me some ideas."

"I love the entomology book you gave me last year."

"Really? I wasn't sure you would."

Sara said softly, "I did. It was special because it was from you. You shared part of yourself with me."

Grissom winced a bit, "Sara, I'm sorry I didn't.....it took so long for me to come to terms with the fact that I love you."

Sara decided to be honest with him, "You know it was almost too late. I had actually given up hope that you would ever consider it."

Grissom knew that already, "Well, I'm glad you kept the door open until I came to my senses. I have never been as happy as I am right now."

Grissom leaned in and kissed Sara. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. They just stood there for a long while holding each other and relishing the moment. They did not get many moments like this.

Grissom broke the silence, "It's getting late. I think we should head back."

Sara sighed, "Do we have to?"

Grissom chuckled, "Yeah, I think it would look suspicious if we both disappeared. Someone might begin to ask questions."

Sara breathed into his chest, "I know you're right."

They headed back to the car and back to Vegas. Night had fallen when they got back to town.

Sara heard her stomach rumble, "What do you wanna do for dinner?"

Grissom shook his head, "I already have that covered. Dinner is waiting at home."

Sara looked at him, "Really? What did you make?"

Grissom casually said, "I made a marinara and cheese ravioli. All we have to do is heat it up. I figured it would be late when we got back."

Sara smiled at him, "Good thinking Dr. Grissom."

Grissom gave her a salacious look, "Besides, I want you all to myself tonight."

Sara flirted, "Did you have something in mind, sir?"

Grissom was evasive, "On that you will have to wait and see."

They arrived back at Grissom's house and they took the stuff inside from the picnic and Grissom got their dinner ready.

Sara inhaled deeply. It smelled heavenly.

"MMMM, that smells really good."

"Thanks. Sit down dinner is almost ready."

He looked cute in bare feet and a dishtowel thrown over his shoulder. She could hardly resist him when he looked like that. It was such a different side of him than the others saw at the lab. This was the part of him he saved just for her.

Grissom served the plates and sat down with her at the table. They ate their dinner and talked about what they would make for Thanksgiving dinner. It was fun to just be a couple and do couple things. When dinner was done they cleaned up. Sara had a thought building in her head.

"Want to watch a movie?"

"Sure. What?"

"I'll let you pick."

She really just wanted to snuggle with him on the couch. She wanted to be close to him. He popped in a movie and they sat together watching. She laid her head against his chest as he wrapped an arm around her. They had watched TV this way many nights. He was drawing small circles on her arm when she began to feel the first pangs of desire. She kissed his chest. He didn't notice at first. So she pulled herself up further and kissed his neck. He pulled her in close but continued to watch the movie. She slipped her hand under his shirt and rubbed his belly. He was beginning to pay more attention. He looked at her and saw the desire in her eyes. He felt the rising of his own desire. She silently crawled up into his lap and kissed him. She faced him sitting in his lap.

Breathlessly she said, "I don't want to watch a movie anymore."

"I can tell."

She leaned in and kissed him. He slid his hands under the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. She did the same for him. He kissed her neck in that spot that always sent shivers down her spine. He then kissed down her neck. He nuzzled into her neck. His beard tickled her neck.

"Sara, you're so beautiful."

She never thought of herself as beautiful, but he did make her feel desired. He cupped her breast as he kissed her again. Sara wriggled in his lap. He moaned and pushed against her. He knew how to drive her insane.

"Sara…."

She kissed him again and leaned against him. She could feel his arousal pushing back. It made her smile.

He kissed her again and then began divesting her of the rest of her clothes and his. He ran his hands down her sides to her hips.

Sara pushed against him harder. They made love there on the couch. This had been his plan for the evening but he was going to wait for bed. He didn't mind that Sara beat him to the punch.

He held her when they were done.

"I love you, Sara"

He didn't say it as much as she did, but he did make her feel loved. He made her feel safe.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Smut Alert**

**Thanks for reading. I love reading the comments so please leave one.**

**Still don't own them, just playing.**

Sara and Grissom spent Thanksgiving together and were getting ready for Christmas. Sara had gotten an idea as to what to give Grissom for Christmas, but he was still in a quandary for her gift. He wanted it to be really special and have meaning for her. He had the day off, but she had to work. He would take advantage and go shopping for her gift, a thought that filled him with dread. He was running over and over in his head what he could get her. Suddenly he had an idea. He would have to wait until she was gone and then he would go look for it. He went to his bedroom to see if he still had what he was thinking about, he did.

Grissom called out, "Sara, Dear?"

"Yes?" She poked her head out from the bathroom where she was getting ready for work.

"I may not be here when you get home from work. I have some things to take care of. I just wanted to let you know."

She teased him, "Oh, well then maybe I will go to my place, water the plants, get some clothes, check the mail."

Grissom quickly said, "Well, you can come. I want you here."

Sara laughed, "I was teasing you. When you get back we can go get the Christmas tree. I want to get a big one and then we can decorate it."

Grissom smiled a crooked smile at her, "OK, deal. I'll call you when I get back."

It was about 10:30 pm and Sara had to leave for work.

Sara sighed, "I gotta go. I'll miss you tonight."

"Me too. Be safe. Call me when you get a chance."

"I will."

Grissom kissed her and she left for work.

Grissom went on the Internet to do some research on what he wanted to get her. He wanted to know what he was looking for and about what it would cost. He spent several hours looking and was satisfied he knew how to make his choice. He knew the specifications he was looking for and how to pick good one. He then went to bed for a while. He would be well rested for shopping.

In the morning Sara called Grissom. It was about 7:30. She was just winding up her shift and was going to her place for a bit.

Grissom answered the phone, "Hi, how was your shift?"

Sara yawned, "Long"

"Why don't you get some rest while you're at your place? You sound tired."

Sara was grateful, "Do you mind? I'll come over about lunch time or so."

"Sounds great. I should be back by then and we can look at trees."

"Thanks. Bye. See you later."

"Bye, Dear."

Sara thought it was cute the way he called her Dear. It was kind of old fashioned, but she loved it. She went home and got some sleep and then called about Grissom's present. It would be ready for Christmas Eve.

Sara finally arrived at Grissom's house and let herself in with the key he had given her. He wasn't home yet. She made herself a cup of tea and sat down to read a book. She had chosen a poetry book he read to her from. She loved to hear him read. His voice was intoxicating to her. The low rumble could turn her on so fast. It was also soothing. When she had trouble sleeping he would read to her until she fell asleep. He would read to her as foreplay sometimes, though she was not she he intended it that way.

He arrived about 20 minutes later. Sara was reading that book of poems.

Grissom kissed her and noted what she was reading, "Hi, sorry I am so late."

He had learned the effect the right poem could have on her and filed away that she was reading it for later use.

Sara shut the book, "That's OK. Did you get me something good?"

Grissom gave her a silly grin, "Nope."

Sara was teasing him a bit.

"You better."

Grissom:"You'll just have to wait and see. This is not the time of year to ask questions. Are you hungry?"

"Starving. I thought we could get some lunch before we go looking for trees."

Grissom and Sara ate lunch and then picked out a tree. They brought it back to the Town House and began to decorate it.

Sara asked him, "Do you want to put the star on the top?"

Grissom shook his head, "You can."

Sara climbed up the ladder and stretched to put the top on the tree. Grissom admired the view from behind. It was a lovely view. As she climbed down the ladder, he grabbed her and spun her around and kissed her. Sara wiggled free.

"Hang on to that thought. I wanna do something."

He let her go and she turned off the lights and turned on the Tree lights. The room was awash with the soft yellow glow of Christmas lights.

Sara looked at the tree and smiled, "There. It's so beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you."

Grissom leaned in again to kiss her. This time she did not resist. She began to kiss him back. This was their first Christmas as a couple and they intended to enjoy it. Grissom slipped his hands under her shirt and in one motion pulled it up over her head. She unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. Grissom kissed Sara's neck and she moaned her approval. He kept going, moving down her body. She relaxed into him and let him take the lead. Grissom gently lowered her to the floor in front of the Christmas tree. The only light was from the tree lights. Sara unbuttoned his trousers and slid them off. Grissom did the same for her. He then began his exploration of her body. She felt the shivers of pleasure run the length of her. He did know just how to please her. He was taking her places no others had. She loved him with all of her being and she gave herself to him completely. She was his to do with what he wanted. Grissom was completely enraptured by Sara. He had never loved anyone the way he loved her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. She was truly his soul mate. He wanted to express that love to her. He wanted to please her, make her feel the love he felt for her. He maneuvered to enter her. She was ready. He began slowly and let her enjoy the feeling. She began to match his movements. It was his turn to moan his approval of what she was doing. He wanted to make this last. He began kissing her body again and could feel her tighten in response. She was not far. He could feel that. She felt the flood overcome her. Grissom felt it too. He knew it would not be much longer for him. He knew it was just a few more thrusts and he would be there too. He felt himself go too. He rode the waves of pleasure to the end and lay there for a moment. Sara lay there too just holding him. This was the best Christmas present she could have gotten.

Grissom whispered in Sara's ear, "Merry Christmas." He kissed her

"Merry Christmas."

They fell asleep in front of the Christmas tree holding each other.

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Christmas Eve came quickly. They both managed to have the night off. They enjoyed a great dinner together and Grissom was getting ready for bed when he heard the doorbell ring. He thought it was strange. It was 9:30 at night. He heard Sara open the door and talk to someone.

Grissom thought out loud, "Who could it be?"

He could hear Sara talking to someone, a man.

"Thanks so much for coming this late, but it is better than tomorrow."

"Yep. It really wasn't any trouble. Take care and Merry Christmas."

He handed over Grissom's present and left.

Grissom called from the bedroom, "Sara, who was at the door?"

Sara called back, "It was the man delivering your present."

Then Grissom heard what sounded like barking.

Grissom came into the living room just in time to see a young Boxer puppy licking Sara's face.

Grissom stopped dead, "What in the world?"

Sara beamed up at him, "Merry Christmas. Do you like him?"

"Thank you. And yes, I love boxers. How did you know?"

Sara offhandedly said, "You said that one time, and I remembered."

Grissom was touched that she had remembered and that she had thought to get him a dog. He had a boxer as a child. That dog was his friend growing up especially after his father died.

Sara let go of the puppy and he scampered over to Grissom. The puppy began licking Grissom's hand.

"What's his name?"

Sara hesitated a moment, "Well, the breeder called him Hank. Can you believe it?"

Grissom laughed, "It kinda fits him."

Sara agreed, "I know, it does, huh?"

Grissom turned serious, "I know there are bad memories with that name. I'll change it if you want me to"

"You know that seems like a life time ago. I was another person. It's OK if you want to call him Hank. He is much cuter than the other one."

Grissom just laughed and kissed her

"Do you want your present now?"

"If you want to give it to me."

Grissom walked over to his briefcase and pulled out a small box that was wrapped and had a bow on top.

It was Sara's turn to be surprised, "What's this?"

Grissom was nervous, "Open it."

Sara opened the box and saw a beautiful Sapphire necklace set in gold.

"It's your birthstone. The stone belonged to my Grandmother, who, by the way, had the same birthday as you. I had the stone reset and a new chain added."

A tear rolled down Sara's cheek.

"Thank you." She could hardly speak.

"You don't like it?"

"I love it, and I love you."

She kissed him and he clasped her necklace around her neck. It looked beautiful.

Hank barked again.

Grissom said, "I think he's jealous."

"He'll get over it"

The dog barked again.

Sara and Grissom looked over to see that they dog had peed on the floor. They both laughed.

Grissom said, "I better clean that up and take him outside before we get another surprise."

Sara took that opportunity to get the rest of the stuff he had purchased for the Hank.

Grissom came back a few minutes later and Sara had the dog's bed out and a bowl and crate for him it sleep in.

Grissom noticed what she had gotten, "You planned ahead."

"Yes I did. I wanted this Christmas to be perfect. I had too many bad Christmas's in my life. I wanted our first one to be special."

"You did well, Dear."

He leaned in and kissed her.

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It was New Year's Eve and Sara and Grissom were spending a quiet evening at home with the dog that was quite energetic. Hank didn't seem to understand the concept of quiet evening. He wanted to go for a walk. Grissom and Sara relented and took him for a walk in the nearby park. The City was busy with people celebrating the New Year. It was just about dusk.

Grissom remarked, "I really hope we don't get a call out tonight."

Sara joked, "We just won't answer the phones."

Grissom smiled, "Sounds like a plan."

He took her hand and then walked the dog in the park and played with him for about 45 minutes.

Sara said, "It's getting dark. I think we can head back now."

Grissom agreed, "Yeah, he seems to be getting tired, which I didn't think was possible."

"I'm getting hungry."

"What do you want to do for dinner? Getting a reservation at this point is going to be hard."

"I was thinking about Chinese and watching a movie until it's time for the ball to drop."

"Sounds good. When we get back I'll call and have them deliver it."

Sara purred at him, "Good. I have plans for you tonight, Dr. Grissom"

Grissom raised an eyebrow, "Oh, really?"

Sara kissed him and walked off with the dog, "Just wait and see."

Grissom followed, anticipating what was going to come tonight.

They went back to the Townhouse and Grissom ordered dinner. They got their food and enjoyed dinner together. They decided to watch a movie and just spend some time together. Grissom picked the movie. He picked a classic movie with Clark Gable. They watched _It Happened One Night_. Sara had never seen it before.

"I can't believe you've never seen this before. This is one of my all time favorite movies. Clark Gable was a real movie star."

Sara teased, "Well, he is handsome."

Grissom pouted a bit, "Haha."

"But not as handsome as you, Honey."

She flashed him that Sara smile and he melted, as he always does. She leaned in and kissed him. She pushed him back on the couch and lowered herself on top of him. He bent to her will. Sara kissed his neck and began unbuttoning his shirt. Grissom rubbed her back as she moved down his body. Sara kissed all over his chest and moved lower. She could hear him moan out his pleasure in low tones. Sara took that as an invitation to move even lower. She unbuttoned his jeans. Grissom then reached down and pulled Sara's shirt off over her head. Sara came back up and kissed him again. He kissed her with more passion. He then began to remove the rest of her clothes. Soon they were both ready. Sara lowered herself down on him and began a slow rhythm. Grissom followed her lead. He reached up and found her breasts. Sara let him know he was pleasing her. She picked up her pace a bit. Grissom again matched her movements. Sara could feel herself about to reach the top. She moved with more urgency. She let herself become enveloped in the feelings that were welling up. Grissom could tell she was not far. He picked up his pace and took the lead. He wanted to please her. He still found it hard to believe that she chose him. He loved her and he wanted her to know it. He heard the gasp as the first waves of her climax hit her. He let her ride out the waves of pleasure. She lay down on his chest and took a moment before she resumed. She wanted him to feel the pleasure he had just given her. It was about him now. She knew just what he liked. She knew he was not going to last much longer. He was no longer able to wait. He moaned out her name just as he released. They both laid there for a moment catching their breath.

Grissom looked at the clock it was just before midnight. They turned on the television to watch the Ball drop in New York. They counted down and at the stroke at midnight they kissed.

"Happy New Year, Sara."

"Happy New Year. I love you."

He leaned up and kissed her again. They soon fell asleep in each other's arms.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: There is a small bit of dialogue from Kiss, Kiss, Bye Bye in this one. That scene was too cute to leave out.**

**Still not mine.**

**Thanks for reading. **

The team was called to the house of Bianca Desmond. A dead body was found in the garage. Grissom and Warrick were in the garage with the body. Sara and Greg were examining the house. They found bleach and a drop of blood in the bedroom. They also found two scantily clad women. The dead man in the garage was the boyfriend of one of the women, who it turned out were mother and daughter.

Grissom found Sara in the house as she was processing.

Grissom said, "Hey, did you find anything probative?"

Sara explained, "We found lots of bleach in the bathroom and lots of tooth whiting products. Is someone in this house a speed freak? There are classic signs of tweaking here."

"Yeah, we thought that in the garage too. We'll run a tox screen when we get him back to autopsy."

"Bet you a dollar it comes back positive."

Grissom smiled, "No bet."

Sara teased, "Chicken."

Grissom just smiled at her as he left to go back to the lab. Once back there he began to process the evidence.

When Sara got back to the lab she found Grissom.

"Hey, are you ready to leave? I'm hungry. Let's go get something to eat."

Grissom looked up from his paperwork, "Sure, just give me a minute. Where do you want to go?"

"Oh, I don't know. You pick today."

"OK, how about Ruby's."

"Sounds great."

"Give me about 20 minutes or so. I need to check on something and then we can go."

Sara offered, "Anything I can help with?"

Grissom quickly said, "No. I just need to see about something."

Sara shrugged, "OK."

She went to the locker room to get her stuff.

Grissom made a phone call and arranged a quiet table for their breakfast. He wanted to talk to Sara in quiet. Then he took care of the bit of work he needed to do and went to find Sara.

Grissom poked his head in the break room where Sara was waiting, "Hey, I'm done."

"OK. Do you want to go together or take separate cars?"

"We better take separate cars. Then do you want to come over to my place after we eat?"

Sara hesitated, "Umm...sure."

Grissom sensed her reluctance, "Did you have something you needed to do? You sounded unsure."

"No, I just...well, I have to get some things from my apartment and check on things there. I haven't been there much."

Grissom was a bit relieved, "OK, why don't we eat and then head to your place and do what you need to do and then we can head to my place."

Sara made light of it, "OK. I do need to water the plants and collect the mail."

"Well, let's go."

They walked out to their cars and head to the restaurant.

As they arrived at the restaurant they sat together in a private booth. There was a plant on the table with a card attached.

Sara saw that her name was on the card.

"What is this?"

Grissom offered, "Open the card and read it."

Sara opened the card and read what was written. _'Sara, I love you. I know I don't tell you that enough. Love always, Gil.'_

She looked at Grissom.

"The last time I just signed if from Grissom. I thought I could do a little better than that."

Sara was almost speechless, "Thank you, Gil. And I Love you too."

Grissom put his hands together in a sign that Sara had learned meant that he was unsure of himself.

"You know how hard it is for me to express feelings. I'm trying work on that. You're the most important person in my live and wanted to tell you that. You have made me so happy."

"I know it's hard for you to say what you feel and I appreciate you trying. And you make me happy too."

Grissom leaned over and kissed Sara.

Their waiter came over and asked if everything was to Grissom's satisfaction, which it was.

Sara shot him a look, "Is this the business you had to take care of?"

Grissom grinned, "Part of it. I really did have some work to check up on. The rest of the day is just for us."

"Great. Whatever it takes to get some time alone with you. I just wish we didn't have to be so secretive."

"I know, but you know the policy. One of us would have to leave Grave."

"Yeah, you know that almost called you Honey today at that scene. I have to really watch myself."

"Me too. I have to be careful to not assign us to the same cases all the time."

"Yeah well when we are done with breakfast let's go somewhere we don't have to be so careful."

"Deal."

Being careful was a part of their lives. Sara longed for a normal relationship, but she understood the repercussions of their relationship coming out into the open. It didn't make it easy, but she understood.

Once they finished eating they returned to their haven, Grissom's town house. This was the place they could be Gil and Sara.

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Grissom and the team were called to a shooting at the house of famed showgirl Lois O'Neill. They were processing the evidence in her bedroom. She was found in the safe and a dead waiter was found in the bedroom. Grissom was processing the bedroom and dealing with Lois O'Neill. They thought they were alone in the room.

"Sara, you stick with the body until Dave gets here."

"OK, I will see you back at the lab."

"OK, then we can get a bite to eat."

Nick popped in from behind them, "Great where are we going?"

They did not know that Nick was listening to them. They both turned around and tried to hide the look of shock on their faces. They had almost been caught.

Sara thought fast, "Uhhhhh.......Franks maybe?"

Nick smiled, "Great. See you when we are done." Nick left to interview the Personal Assistant.

Sara exhaled, "Thank God it wasn't Catherine she'd have asked too many questions."

Grissom just gave her that raised eyebrow look and walked off to finish the scene. Sara got back to work. Dave came to get the body and Greg and Sara processed the room. They found a bullet hole in the carpet that led them to finding almost one million dollars in the floor of her room. They took the money back to the lab and logged it into evidence. Grissom was just getting back at the same time. Sara followed him into his office and collapsed into a chair.

"Hi, I am so tired. It's been a long night."

Grissom agreed, "It has. Are you ready to eat?"

"Well, be better wait for Nick. We don't want him getting suspicious."

Grissom was a bit perturbed, "Where is he?"

"I'll call him."

She called his cell.

Nick answered, "Stokes."

"Hey, it's Sara. Are you ready to go eat?"

"Umm... yeah give me a minute."

Sara prodded him along, "Well, hurry I'm hungry."

"Why don't you go ahead and I'll meet you there."

"OK, see you there."

Sara hung up and explained what Nick had said.

Grissom said, "I was kinda hoping he wouldn't be able to make it. We better take both cars then."

Sara nodded, "Yeah. Come on. I need coffee."

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The next day the continued working on the case. She and Catherine both felt that something was missing.

Sara went to find Grissom.

Sara stuck her head in his office, "Hey, we need to go back the bedroom. We need to see the clothes Lois was wearing that night. I think we need to test them for GSR."

"OK. You and Catherine can go take care of that."

"OK. I'll let you know what we find."

Sara and Catherine went and found her clothes gone but took the ring that she was wearing.

Sara called Grissom and told him what they found and told him that they will drop it off with trace.

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Grissom and Sara walked into the Trace lab and saw Hodges coloring his hair with a sharpie marker to cover the gray.

Grissom quipped, "Vanity, thy name is Hodges."

Hodges jumped, "This is not what it looks like.....I actually like my gray hair. The few that I have."

Sara said without thinking, "Hodges, don't you know that gray hair can be very attractive?"

Grissom nearly choked. Sara tried not to give a reaction to what she just said. She could not believe it came out of her mouth.

Grissom looked at Sara and gave her a shocked look. He couldn't believe that she just said that. Sara just smiled. Hodges smiled back at her. He thought it was a comment towards him.

Sara deadpanned, "The ring?"

Hodges was confused, "The ring? The ring. It was positive for GSR."

Sara remarked, "That means that Lois is the shooter."

Sara and Grissom turned to leave and go back to his office. He closed the door behind them.

Grissom raised an eyebrow, "Gray hair can be attractive?"

Sara smiled her smile at him, "Very. I'll prove it to you later."

Grissom's eyebrows both went up, "Oh, will you now?"

Sara opened the door and smiled back at him as she left.

Grissom just watched her leave, admiring the view and anticipating what was coming when they got home. _God, I can't wait for this shift to end _he thought. He called Brass to tell him what they had found. He and Brass went to Lois O'Neill's house to arrest her. When they got there they found her shot to death in her bed. Grissom took her body to autopsy and discovered that it was Bobby Jensen that killed her. When he was done interviewing him Grissom went back to his office and began reading Lois's book. Greg had lent it to him. Sara walked in.

"Hey, I heard what happened. Are you OK?"

Grissom sighed, "Yeah. It just makes you think."

Sara came over and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder. Grissom took her hand and gently held it. There was no need for words. They understood.

Grissom gave her hand a gentle squeeze, "Come on. Let's go home. I just want to be with you."

Grissom got up and put an arm around her as they walked out. Right now he didn't care if someone saw them, which was exactly what happened.

Brass thought to himself _It's about damned time_.

**A/N: We had to know how Brass knew about them, so I added it. It's my story I can do that. Smut is on the horizon.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: still not mine. **

The Lois O'Neill case had been a long, hard one and both Grissom and Sara were exhausted. They needed sleep. Sara and Grissom were walking in the door when his phone rang. Grissom looked at the number and didn't answer it.

Sara questioned him, "Who was that?"

"Work. I am not in the mood. I'm off the clock and I don't want to have to go in tonight."

"Me either. I just want to have a shower and get some sleep."

"Sounds good to me."

Just then Sara's phone rang too. She looked at the caller ID.

"Well, someone is insistent. Work is calling me too. What in the world could Ecklie want this time of day?"

"Funny, it was Ecklie that called me too."

"Just forget him. We can talk to him tomorrow."

Grissom and Sara took a shower and headed to bed. They both had a hard case that included a double shift. They knew there'd be hell to pay with Ecklie tomorrow but they didn't care. This was their time and they intended to take it.

They did not know it at the time but Ecklie had caught a glimpse of them walking out of the lab as well. He wasn't sure he had seen it, but he could have sworn that Grissom had his arm around Sara. He was calling to snoop a bit. When he got no answer from either one of them, he decided to keep an eye on them. If there was any impropriety he would take action, but for now he just didn't have enough to go on.

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Sara and Grissom reported for work the next day and were ready to take on whatever comes. Grissom caught an apparent hit and run. A young girl was killed in the street. It became apparent that this was more than it at first seemed. He took Sara with him on this one. Sara took the car and Grissom stuck with the body on this case. They discover that she was killed after she got out of her car. She had her neck broken. Sara found prints on the car and they led to a bank robber who was out of prison. They caught up with each other in the hall.

"Sara, what did you find at the dealership?"

Sara showed him the picture, "A crappy driver's license picture to go with that crappy car. I'll take it to Archie and see what we can get from it."

Grissom grimaced, "That's pretty crappy. Let me know what you find."

Sara noticed his folder, "OK, what do you have there?"

"Oh, the ballistics report from Bobby. Apparently the killer used a silencer. We're looking for a smart guy. He thought of everything.......until Ally Sullivan crossed his path."

"Well, let's hope he left us enough to go on."

Grissom sighed, "You know its cases like this that keep me doing this job. A nice kid on her way home gets into an accident, tries to do the right thing, and dies for it. We need to give her justice. She deserves that."

"I know, Babe."

Grissom gave her a surprised look at that comment in the hallway of the lab. She realized what she said and gave him that Sidle smile. There was nobody around to hear it so they both relaxed. This was getting complicated. Grissom looked around one more time to make sure there wasn't anyone around and took and smiled back and winked at her.

"I need to go see Hodges about something."

Sara smiled back at him, "I have some bus schedules to look at. Let's just say I have a hunch."

"OK. Bye. I catch up with you later."

Sara said as an afterthought, "Uh, hey...what are you doing after shift today?"

"Oh, I thought I'd take this tall brunette out then take her home and have my way with her."

Sara laughed, "Oh, really? Have your way with her? And you think she is agreeable to this?"

Grissom gave her a sultry smile, "Oh, let's just say I have a hunch."

He gave her that Grissom wink and walked into the trace lab.

Sara smiled and went to the layout room. She loved it when he was playful.

Sara found what she was looking for and found how the killer got out to the car lot.

Later in the break room they all meet to talk about the case. They were still lost as to where to find him but they were getting closer.

At the end of shift Sara and Grissom walk out together.

Sara yawned, "Where do you want to go?"

"How about to my place? I'll make breakfast. I just want to spend some time with you. I'll make waffles and fruit."

Sara was hungry, "Sounds great."

"Can you do me a huge favor though?"

"Sure, what?"

"Can you take Hank out for a walk? I need to stop by the store."

"OK. I think we can do that."

"Great. I'll see you at home then?"

"Yeah"

Sara wasn't sure Grissom had caught what he had said. He'd said home, not my place. His house was beginning to feel like home. She spent more time there than she did her apartment. It gave her a content feeling knowing he felt like that, even if he didn't know himself that's how he felt.

Sara took Hank for a walk. She went to the park nearby and let Hank play for a while. It was hard to keep him contained while they were gone. They had such unpredictable shifts that he didn't always get out in time. Grissom had thought about a dog sitter for him. He could be quite destructive with his chewing. Three pairs of slippers, a bathroom rug, a couch pillow, and numerous dog toys were the proof. He needed to get out more.

Sara and Hank arrived home to find Grissom cooking. He was cutting up fruit and making batter for the waffles. She also saw fresh juice and muffins on the table.

Sara eyed them, "Are those blueberry muffins?"

"Yep, from your favorite bakery."

She came up and put her arms around his waist and whispered in his ear.

"I love you. What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"It's me that should be wondering that."

Sara giggled and tickled him before she went to feed Hank.

"Thanks for feeding the dog."

Sara absentmindedly said, "Well, he is kinda like our child."

She then realized what she said and looked embarrassed.

She stammered, "Oh....Ummmm...."

Grissom smiled reassuringly, "Don't worry about it. I know what you meant."

Sara felt the need to explain, "Gil, I wasn't hinting."

"Sara, it's OK."

"Did you ever want kids?"

She said it so quietly he almost didn't hear it.

"I never thought about it really."

Sara looked at the floor, "With my past, I have."

Grissom stopped what he we doing and turned to her.

"And what did you think about?"

"You know with everything I've been through and everything we see on a daily basis, it makes be doubt bringing a child into this world."

"This job can make you question things."

"Yeah, it can."

She had turned somber. She was quiet for a while. She was thinking about her mother. She had looked her up on the computer not that long ago. She was living in San Francisco. She had been released from the hospital. Sara had thought about contacting her on several occasions, but had never done it.

"You know that my mother has been released. I looked her up about a year ago. She's living in San Francisco again."

"Have you called her?"

He could feel her apprehension.

"No"

She couldn't look at him.

"Do you want to?"

Sara said nothing. She wasn't sure how she felt about it. There was part of her that wanted to call her and part that wanted to run like a scared child. Grissom was her touchstone. He was the one that put her life in order. She stared out the window.

Grissom gently prodded her, "Sara, you didn't answer my question."

"I..... there's part of me that does."

Grissom walked over and held her hand as he had done a year ago when she first told her about her family. She turned to him and buried her face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and just let her feel safe. He now understood her past and what it had done to her. He was determined to be strong for her. She needed that right now. He knew that dealing with her past was hard. It was something she avoided whenever she could, but times like now it came crashing down on her and she couldn't avoid it.

Grissom whispered, "Then call her Sara, but do it when you are ready."

Sara choked out, "I'm.... not ready yet."

"OK, then wait, but you need to do this. You need to deal with your past. You need to deal with your mother."

"I know."

Grissom gently caressed her cheek and kissed her.

Sara smiled, "Come on, let's eat."

Grissom was not going to drop it that easily, "I mean it, Sara."

It was the supervisor tone. It somewhat irked her. She knew he was right and it pissed her off a bit. She was not in the mood for a fight today. She acquiesced the point to him and changed the subject.

"I know, now let's eat. We both have to work tonight. I need food and sleep"

He decided to let it go for now. Pushing her too far did no good. It only drove her further into her shell about her past. He knew the rest of the team didn't know why she reacted the way she did to certain cases. The only reason she had told Grissom is that he had pushed her in a moment of weakness. He had found a crack and gotten in. She didn't regret telling him. It was actually a relief to have someone to take some of the burden for a while. He was not the greatest at relationships, by his own admission, but he was getting better.

Grissom served breakfast and they ate the rest of their meal talking about the case. They eventually went to bed where he did have his way with her.

**A/N: Come on we all knew Ecklie suspected something between them for a long time. We also have to have a bit of angst or we'll all get cavities from the sweetness. There will be a bit more angst and a lot more smut. Thanks for reading and please leave a review.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: More angst on the way. But not too bad. Ends with smut…Gotta love that.**

Grissom was in his office when he got a call about a body in the desert near Sparks. He had been contemplating what to get Sara for Valentine's Day. It was just a week away and he still didn't know what to get her. He had not found the right gift

He went out not suspecting it would be anything unusual. He expected it to be just another cold and windy winter day in the desert. Unfortunately it was not unusual any more to find a body in the desert. Little did he know what he was about to get in to. What he found was a shock to even him. There was a female, half starved, with a shaved head, and a number branded on her arm. The meaning was not lost to anyone who was there.

She was found with someone else's eyeball in her right eye socket. It was also determined that she was infected with bacteria that had desiccated her organs.

Meanwhile Sara found the owner of the eyeball and went to see him. He was acting strangely. They took him to the hospital and found that he had been lobotomized. She called Grissom to tell him what was found.

Grissom answered, "Hey, what did you find?"

"Well, our suspect is now a victim. The Jane Doe was 19, he's 18. I wanna know where the other 17 are."

Grissom agreed, "Yeah."

"Do we have an ID on Jane Doe yet?"

"No, Jim is working on it now. I just have a bad feeling about this case."

"Yeah, this is stranger that normal."

Grissom changed the subject, "Yeah, what do you want to do later? I was thinking about dinner and a movie at my place."

"Sounds good to me. I want to spend some time with you. I want to forget about this case for a while."

Jane Doe was identified at Zoe Kessler. Grissom was shocked to learn that she was the daughter of Lady Heather when Brass told him.

Grissom was shocked, "Lady Heather? Are you sure?"

Grissom hadn't seen her in three years and now she was back.

"Yeah, I talked to her myself. They had been estranged, but she is her daughter....What are you going to do?"

Grissom:"I.....uh....don't know."

Brass knew that they had been involved in the past. He was not sure how deeply, but there had been something.

"Look, I'm not one to give advice, but you need to consider very carefully what you are going to do here. I mean considering that you are........"

Grissom's eyes got bigger, "What?" _Oh does he know about Sara?_

Brass didn't want to tell his friend that he had seen him walk out of the lab with his arm around Sara. He though it was about time these two got together, but he also understood Grissom's need for privacy. He knew the policy and did not want to cause his friends any grief. He'd decided not to say anything to anyone about what he had seen.

Brass quickly covered his tracks, "That you are a CSI. It could be awkward."

"Oh, OK." He was relieved. Maybe Brass didn't know after all.

Each was thinking that was a close call.

Brass returned his attention to the case, "I was on my way over to her apartment now. I am taking Catherine with me."

Grissom said quickly, "I'm coming too."

Brass looked accusingly at him, "You sure about that?"

Grissom said firmly, "Yes."

Brass was not going to argue with him, but he didn't think this would set well with Sara. He was not going to be the one that told her what was going on.

They went to Zoe's apartment and found that she had been part of a sleep trial at the Betz clinic. Grissom saw a picture of Zoe with her mother. They shared a resemblance. He then noticed that Zoe had one blue and one brown eye. It had been almost three years since he had seen Heather. So much had happened since then. He was with Sara now and he didn't want that to change, but there was a connection with Heather also. It was different. Sara was his soul mate. Heather and her world were totally fascinating to him. It was a study in anthropology for him. Sara, he loved. His thoughts turned to Heather as he looked around the apartment. He felt sorry for her. He would go see her as soon as he left the apartment. While he was there Brass got a call saying that Heather was at the morgue to ID the body. He headed there as soon as he heard that is where she was.

Heather walked out and saw Grissom in the hallway. They had a conversation about Zoe and where she was found. Grissom could see the pain and anger in Heather's face as she left. He felt sorry for her, but did not follow her.

Greg and Catherine briefed Grissom on what they found at the Clinic. He ran into Sara when he was done.

"I heard they ID'd the Jane Doe."

Grissom was unsure how to proceed, "Yeah. Zoe Kessler. Did you hear who her mother is?"

"Yes," she said between tight lips. Her body language was clear.

Grissom could see that Sara was pissed off.

Grissom stammered, "Sara, I....you have nothing to worry about."

Sara crossed her arms over her chest, "Don't I? I heard you went to see her at the morgue."

Grissom recoiled, "Yes. Look she is my friend and..."

Sara fumed, "Oh, I think she's a bit more than a friend."

Grissom pulled Sara into his office so they could talk about this in private.

Sara coldly said, "What?"

"Sara, I....I'm only her friend. She trusts me."

Sara went ballistic, "You know what....."

Grissom yelled back, "Sara, I think you need to be hands off in this case."

Sara saw red, "Why?"

"I don't think you can be objective."

Sara shot back, "Can you?"

Grissom had not seen Sara like this angry in a long time. It pained him to see her like this. It also scared him a bit. He knew she was insecure about their relationship.

Sara was scared. She knew Heather and Grissom had a past. She was smart and beautiful. She was scared that Grissom would..... would what..... go to her, sleep with her....she didn't want to think about it. They had never really talked about her.

Sara tried to breaths, "Look, I....."

Grissom took her hand and kissed it.

"You have nothing to worry about. I am yours and yours alone. YOU are the one I want to be with, you and only you."

She pulled her hand away. Sara was reluctant to believe him.

"Gil, I just can't stand around and watch you with her and pretend that I don't care."

Grissom sighed, "Sara, please, understand that I have to do this."

Sara coldly said, "Whatever."

She pulled away and left his office.

Grissom was left standing there. He wanted to chase after and tell her that he loved her and she was the only person in the world that mattered to him. He wanted to kiss her and reassure her. He knew he could not to that, not here, not now. He would talk to her later. He would show her later.

Just then he got a call from Nick that they had found Lady Heather at the house of Dr. Wolfowitz. She had broken into his house to allow the CSI's to get a search warrant because it was a crime scene. Grissom again interviewed Heather.

Sara was nowhere to be found. She had gone home....her home....she was not in the mood to see Grissom right now. She needed to cool off. She didn't like the way this fight felt. It was their first fight as a couple. It scared her. They had had fights before, but not like this. The fights before had been about the job. This was personal. This is where it got hard, mixing work and love.

She had even thought about leaving before, but he had managed to convince her to stay. He had that power over her, but what if he changed his mind. What if he wanted Heather more than he wanted her? Her old insecurities were coming back, nagging at her. She hated that. She decided to go for a walk. She wanted to be anywhere that Grissom could not find her. She left her phone at home as she went for a run. Exercise always helped her clear her head. Just as she closed the door her phone rang. She knew who it was and she didn't want to take the call. The machine picked it up.

Grissom left her a message:"Sara, its Gil. Where are you? I really want to talk to you about this. Please don't be mad. I.....I love you. I know I don't tell you that very often, but I do. Call me.....please."

He hung up the phone and went to his car. It was the end of his shift and he was headed home. They had discovered the body of Dr. Wolfowitz frozen in his car.

Just as he was getting to his car he ran into Heather again. She gave him a used condom in a baggie stating it was a DNA sample for Grissom to use. He was saddened and horrified at the same time. Heather's despair was apparent to him. She was usually good at hiding what she didn't want others to see, but losing her daughter pushed her over the edge and Grissom knew it.

He went back into the lab and handed the condom to Wendy.

He called Sara again, no answer. He left her another message.

They ran the DNA and it came back to Wolfowitz. They also got DNA results back that confirmed that Zoe was at the Doctor's house. Her DNA along with about a dozen other people was found in a compost pile in the garden shed.

He called again, no answer.

Brass called him and said that he needed to report to the Doctor's house because they finally got a search warrant. While they were there, they found the torture chamber and another gruesome experiment. Grissom also found a necklace that he knew belonged to Lady Heather. She had it on when he spoke to her earlier. He became concerned and it dawned on him what she may be doing. He began to drive back to Vegas. Along the road he saw her. She was whipping the Doctor. He eventually stopped her. It was hard to watch her be taken away in a police car. He knew what he had to do now. He had to find Sara. He hadn't spoken to her since the end of shift. He had to make this right. All thoughts of Heather were gone. There was only one woman he was thinking of now.

Sara came back from her run. She had run until she was too tired to do anything else. She showered and crawled into bed.

The phone rang in her apartment. She looked at the caller ID and saw it was Grissom. She didn't answer it. She thought about the past months and how happy she had been, they had been. The thought of that being gone was terrifying she began to cry. She couldn't lose him, not after waiting all these years.

She heard a knock at the door and he called her name.

Sara opened the door and looked into those blue eyes. They were like the ocean. She could get lost in them. He saw that she had been crying and it broke his heart.

"May I come in?"

Sara didn't say anything, she just stepped out of the way as he walked in. She shut the door and looked up at him. He pulled her into an embrace. She fought it at first, but he didn't let go. She finally relaxed and let her body fit his. He pulled in as close as he could. He kissed her cheek.

"Sara I'm so sorry."

Sara silenced him with a kiss. The kiss was full of the passion she felt for him. He had come back to her. This was her proof he loved her. The kiss lasted until they needed air. She again began to cry.

Sara choked out, "I was so scared that you wouldn't come back to me….that you would choose her."

"I chose you. I will always choose you."

He kissed her. She kissed him back. Her lips parted as she explored his mouth with her tongue. Their kisses became slower and deeper. They needed to feel each other. Grissom lead her to the bedroom in her apartment. Clothes were shed as he gently lowered her onto the bed. He stopped to admire her beauty.

"God, you are so beautiful."

She pulled him to her and kissed him. He kissed her, moving down her body, stopping at each breast and then moving down. Her flesh burned for him. He moved down and found her ready for him. He lowered himself and slowly entered her. She moaned as he did. She called his name and dug her fingers into his back, pulling him into her. He let her adjust and enjoy those first waves of pleasure. She soon matched his rhythm. He kissed her and caressed the sensitive sensual places of her body. He was an attentive lover. He could please her like no other ever had....or ever would. She felt the waves of pleasures build and then fire through her body. The warm flooding of pleasure washed over her as she called his name again and again. It made him happy to please her. He knew how to make her pleasure last just a bit longer. As she recovered he began his rhythm again. She matched him. It was her turn to please him. She also knew how to touch him. She could feel him begin to move just a bit faster and she knew it wouldn't be long. She felt him give her more thrust and then he let the pleasure take him over the edge. As he went he called her name. It was her he wanted.....forever.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Leave me a little note please.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Still not mine. Smut alert. Please leave a comment.**

Grissom was the first to wake. Sara was still curled up next to him. He rolled over to get a better view. She looked so peaceful when she was asleep. He just watched her sleep. He remembered the night before and smiled. Today was Valentine's Day, their first together and Grissom wanted to make it special. He had made reservations at a nice restaurant and had a special gift for Sara. He gently brushed a dark curl from her face as he watched her sleep. She stirred and reached for him. She was still asleep so he put his arms around her and held her as she slept. For so long he had wanted this, but had fought it. She was finally his. Grissom gently kissed the top of her head. She stirred again.

Sara began to wake, "Gil?"

"Shhhh, it's early lets sleep some more."

"I don't wanna sleep. I have other ideas for you."

She rolled over and kissed him fully on the mouth.

Sara whispered, "Good morning."

Grissom smiled, "Good morning to you, too"

He kissed her back.

Sara stretched as she said, "What time is it?"

"It' not even two yet. We have hours before we have to be anywhere."

Sara was confused, "I thought we had today off?"

"I didn't say we had to be at work, just somewhere."

He loved teasing her like this.

Sara sat up and looked at him for a clue, "Oh, a mystery...what do you have up your sleeve, mister?"

"I'm not wearing any sleeves....or anything else, Dear."

Sara smiled at that comment and looked under the covers.

"Why Dr. Grissom, I can see that you aren't. Whatever are we going to do about that?"

Sara maneuvered to be on top of him and lowered herself down until she straddled him. She then kissed him. He responded with kisses of his own. She moved down and kissed his neck. Grissom let her take the lead. Sara continued to kiss his neck and down his chest. She could feel his body beginning to respond to her. He reached up and caressed her breasts. She kissed him again as she lowered herself down on him. She moaned slightly as her body yielded to him. She began the slow rhythmic dance that brought them both waves of pleasure. Her release was quick and powerful. Grissom let her rest a minute before he roller her over and continued their love making. He moved slowly at first then as he felt the end nearing he called her name as the pleasure overtook him.

Sara kissed him, "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day to you, Dear."

She still loved the way he called her Dear. She started to get out of bed, but felt herself being pulled back down.

Sara laughed, "Gil."

Grissom kissed her again, "I'm not ready to let you go just yet."

"Then come join me in the shower."

They got up and went to the bathroom. Sara started the shower and got in followed closely by Grissom. She leaned into him and let the water cascade over them. She loved taking showers with him. They talked about what they would do the rest of the day and how they were going to spend their first Valentine's Day together.

"I made dinner reservations at Dante's for 7:00."

"Oh, I love Dante's."

"I know."

He kissed the back of her neck.

Sara shivered at his touch, "What else do you have planned?"

"Some things are better left to surprise, Dear," and kissed the back of her neck again.

"I have to do a couple of things before dinner."

Namely she had to get his gift and pick up a new outfit for later.

As they stepped out of the shower, Hank was there waiting to greet them. He wanted to be walked and had waited long enough for Mommy and Daddy to take care of him.

Grissom cooed to the dog, "OK, Hank, just a minute and I will take you to the park. Then I have an errand to run."

Sara got dressed and congratulated herself again on the Christmas gift she had given Grissom. He loved that dog she thought to herself. She had an idea for his present. Now all she had to do was find it. She had seen it at Christmas but had decided on Hank instead. Now she hoped it was still there.

Grissom and Sara kissed each other good bye and went on their way for a few hours.

It was five when they both arrived home. Grissom came in with a small bag and a plant for Sara. Sara came in with several bags and the present she had wanted it. It came at a dear price, but Grissom was worth it.

Grissom was curious, "What's in the bags?"

Sara vaguely said, "Oh, I got a new outfit for later and some other things."

Grissom handed her the orchid plant, "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Oh, Gil, they're beautiful."

Grissom beamed, "Not nearly as beautiful as you are. I wanted to get you flowers, but I remembered that your prefer plants, so I got a flowering plant. I also got you a book on how to care for orchids."

He handed her the book. It was full of beautiful orchid pictures and directions on how to care for them.

Grissom then asked her, "Do you want your other present?"

Sara teased him, "There's more?"

Grissom gave her that raised eyebrow look that drove her nuts. He handed her the small bag and watched as she unwrapped it. It was a piece of paper. On that were reservations for a weekend away. They would leave in two weeks for three days in a lodge in the mountains.

Sara was shocked, "A real vacation together? Thanks."

Grissom huskily said, "I want you all to myself. No interruptions and absolutely no cell phones. I won't share you with anyone for three days."

Sara smiled at him and wondered why she ever thought he had no feelings. He was a man of great passion, but saved it for private times.

"Do you want your present now, well you can have one now. One's for later."

She presented him with a book. It was a book of poetry. In it she had marked several poems that expressed how she felt. It was her intention to read them to him later.

Grissom was touched, "Thank you. I love it. There are some of my favorite poems in here."

Sara was eager, "Do you recognize the ones that I marked?"

She had marked the poems he had recited to her or written to her over the past months. He often read to her on quiet nights. She remembered every one. While they were not all in the book, many were.

Grissom, who had an incredible gift for memory, did remember them and smiled at her as he read them quietly to himself.

"Thank you."

They kissed. Grissom turned his attention to the other bag,

"What's in the other bag?"

Sara teased, "That is your other present for later."

She picked up the bag and carried it to the bedroom for later.

He again gave her the raised eyebrow look. His curiosity had been piqued. He wanted to know what was in that bag, but she wouldn't tell him. It became a game. He was an investigator after all.

Sara would not give in, "Gil, I told you that is for later. I have to get ready for dinner"

Grissom finally gave up and decided to trust her. A few minutes later, she came back in a beautiful new dress. It was black and fit her to a tee. Grissom stood there in awe for a moment.

"Wow," he finally managed.

Sara just smiled. She knew she had achieved the desired effect. It wasn't often that she rendered him speechless.

Grissom was ready in a flash and they went to dinner. It was a great dinner. The food and service were wonderful. As they returned from dinner, Grissom took her for a drive. He was not ready to have their magic evening end. Sara leaned over and kissed him.

"Thanks. This has been a wonderful evening."

Grissom caressed her cheek, "Anything for you, My Dear."

As they arrived home, Grissom remembered the other bag.

"You gonna show me what's in that bag now?"

She smiled and went in the bedroom.

Sara purred into his hear, "I am going to get changed."

Grissom waited until she returned. The thought of what she would be wearing when she came out began to stir desire in his belly. He was not prepared for what she had on when she came out. He was shocked by what she was wearing. She was wrapped in a shower curtain and was holding a basket that contained some very interesting items. There was body chocolate, whipped cream, and a jar of cherries.

"Would you care for dessert?"

Grissom just looked at her, smiled a salacious and led her to the bedroom.....for dessert.

Sara laid the shower curtain on the bed and placed herself in the middle of it.

"Dr. Grissom you have too many clothes on. If you want your dessert you are going to have to take care of that."

He did as he was told and joined her in bed.

She opened the jar of cherries and fed him one and then kissed him.

Dessert was going to be great.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Let's get our favorite CSI couple alone in the mountains. Who know what will happen…we all know what will happen. You have been warned.  
By the way, this is a real place. I did some research. It you listened carefully it was mentioned in One to Go.**

They two weeks passed quickly and Grissom and Sara found themselves on the way to their weekend getaway. Grissom had deftly managed to get them both three days off. They each told the team what they would be doing. Little white lies to protect their secret were not a bad thing. Grissom told them he was going to a seminar in Chicago and Sara said she was going to collapse and rest for a whole weekend. She was turning off the phone and was not going to answer the door. She just wanted to rest. Hank had gone to the dog sitters for the weekend.

Grissom pulled the car into a parking spot and both of them got out. It was just a short drive, but it was a different world. There was snow and a beautiful mountain lodge. Sara marveled at the natural beauty that surrounded her. She had no idea that this was here. She thought of the Vegas area as desert not piney mountains. Grissom also looked around. It was beautiful and he wanted to enjoy it, but more than anything he wanted to get Sara into that cabin.

"Shall we get checked in? Hey, did I tell you that there are no phones in the cabins and there is no cell reception here? We are officially unreachable."

He gave her a sly smile.

Sara just smiled and reached out for his hand. They walked to the main desk hand in hand. It was a wonderful feeling to be able to be like any other couple. They could just be Sara and Gil, lovers. Grissom had arranged for them to have the honeymoon cabin.

They cabin was beautiful. It was a large A-framed building with a huge bed and a whirlpool tub and a fireplace. They put down their bags and Grissom took Sara's hand.

Grissom:"Come with me. I want to show you the best part…besides the bed."

Sara followed him as he opened the door that led to the balcony. There as an awe inspiring view of the mountains. He wrapped his arms around her from behind as she leaned back into him. It was perfect.

Grissom said, kissing her neck, "Do you like it?"

Sara beamed, "How could I not? This is absolutely beautiful. I didn't know there was anything like this so close to Vegas."

Grissom kissed her again, "I found it on the Internet."

"Well, you done good. I love it here. Have you ever seen a view like that?"

Grissom was looking at Sara. She was so beautiful.

"No, I haven't"

He turned her around and kissed her. She kissed him back.

Grissom whispered, "Let's go back inside."

Sara laughed, "Gilbert Grissom, you are insatiable aren't you?"

Grissom was kissing her neck, something he knew drove her wild. He moved up to her ear and nibbled on her earlobe, another hot zone for her. He was pulling out all the stops.

Sara moaned, "Gil..."

Grissom was not going to take no for an answer. Sara kissed him back, her resolve was crumbling. She knew he was going to get his way and she really didn't mind. A knock at the door interrupted their plan.

Grissom growled, "Tell them to go away."

Sara tried to reason with him, "We can't just ignore them. They know we're here. The bellman just left 10 minutes ago. I bet he didn't think he would be interrupting anything so fast."

Grissom sighed, broke away from her and answered the door.

Bellman showed Grissom what he had, "Sir, this is complements of the Management."

He brought in an ice bucket with champagne and two glasses. Grissom tipped him and thanked him as he left.

Sara smiled a lop-sided smile, "Did you tell them we were on our honeymoon?"

Grissom winked, "I think they assumed we were and I didn't deny it."

Sara just smiled at him. She loved him. He came back to her.

"Now where were we?"

This time she didn't argue with him. His hands and lips were everywhere. Their close shed, the tumbled into bed. They made love there in the cabin.

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Grissom and Sara enjoyed a romantic dinner at the Lodge and were back in their room sitting in front of the fireplace. The temperature outside had dropped to freezing.

Grissom shivered, "It's really cold out there."

Sara laughed, "Reminds me of college. And by the way, it's not all that cold out there. Try Boston in February."

Grissom laughed. He had forgotten that she went to college back east.

Grissom said, "Tell me about college."

Sara was surprised. He had never really asked her about her past. He knew about her mother and father but he never really asked much else. Much of her past was painful for her. She had pushed it to the back of her mind and rarely though about it. Once in a while she would have nightmares about it. This usually happened after a really hard case. She had stopped having them when she started her relationship with Grissom. He was her stability and she needed that. She really didn't want to bring all that up and ruin their weekend.

Sara was cautious about what she said, "College was fine. It was very......informative for me."

"Informative? There's a vague term. Tell me what you were like then."

Sara stiffened at the request. Grissom noticed.

Grissom knew she was hiding something, "What's wrong?"

"I just don't like to think about the past. It's the past and no good can come of it."

Grissom could see she was uncomfortable. He often wondered if there were other things in her past that she kept hidden. He wanted to get to know all about her, good and bad.

"Is there something you haven't told me? You seem....sad."

Sara could see that he was really concerned about her. She loved him all the more for it. She had a hard childhood and secrets had been the norm. She couldn't tell about the abuse, she hadn't wanted to tell about the stabbing, and she wanted to forget foster care. She had been in seven different foster homes and had never felt like they were home. Grissom was her home now.

Grissom softly touched her cheek and turned her head to look into her eyes. He saw sadness there and it about broke his heart. It had not been his intention to cause her any pain. He kissed her. A tear rolled down her cheek and he wiped it away.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"I've never had a normal home....I want that."

Grissom cupped her face in his hands, "We can have that, Sara. I want to have that with you."

She looked at him with sad eyes and said nothing. She didn't know what to say. She wanted to build a life with him. She wanted to know what normal was. She was not sure she would recognize it. Her whole life had been about secrets and she was tired of them. She now had this delicious secret that she couldn't tell. He was here with her now. She just stared at the fireplace and said nothing. She felt him touch her cheek and realized she had tears again. She hated it when she cried in front of him. She didn't want him to see how fragile she could be. It was her worst fear that he would see that and run. She had watched her mother fall apart and she had witnessed her father's violent end. She felt as if she teetered on the edge of sanity sometimes. Grissom had been there to pull her back.

"Sara?"

Sara tried to stifle her tears, "I'm sorry. I didn't want you to see me like this. This is why I don't talk about the past."

"Avoiding it will not make it go away. You can trust me. Talk to me. I want to understand."

Sara:"I do trust you. It's me I don't trust."

"Why?"

Sara took a deep breath and began, "There is this........canyon that is my past. I'm always on the edge. I feel like at any time I could fall in and wind up like my mother. It's always there."

Grissom whispered, "You're not her, Sara."

Sara's voice waivered, "I could be."

She got up and went to the door that led to the balcony. She stared out into the night. Grissom came up behind her and put his arms around her.

Grissom:"No, you can't. You have one big advantage. You know what could happen......... and you have me."

She smiled at that comment.

"I don't want to lose you. I'm afraid that if you saw me.....like that.....you wouldn't want me anymore."

"Sara, I want you......always."

Sara turned to him and looked up. Grissom wrapped his arms around her and just held her. She needed his reassurance that he loved her. He was going to give that to her. She felt warm and safe in his arms. This is what she had wanted for all those years. This was home. This is where she finally belonged.

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Grissom was the first to wake that morning. He had spent the previous night reassuring Sara that he wanted her. He never knew she had so many insecurities. She had always seemed so strong. It nearly broke his heart to hear her sound so sad and helpless. He quietly slipped out of bed without waking her and made coffee. He walked to the French doors that led to the balcony and watched the dawn break. This was really a beautiful place. He felt arms around his waist.

Sara said into his shoulder, "Good morning. Is that coffee I smell?"

He laid his arm across hers.

"Yeah, want some?"

He, then, reached around and pulled her to his side and kissed her.

"You're a lifesaver.....in more ways than one. Coffee sounds great."

"I'll get you a cup," and walked inside.

He returned with her coffee and the watched the rest of the sunrise together.

Sara began, "Gil, I'm sorry about last....."

Grissom silenced her with a finger to her lips.

"Don't ever apologize for needing me. I'm glad you told me."

Sara didn't say a word. She leaned up and kissed him. She slid her arms around his neck and deepened their kiss. She untied his robe and let it fall to the floor. She then did the same with hers. She slid her hands under his shirt and felt the warm skin of his chest. She pulled his shirt over his head and kissed his chest. Grissom pulled her up to kiss her. She pressed into him and could feel his desire for her against her him. He slid his hands up her back and removed his t-shirt that she had worn to bed. She did look glorious in the early morning light. He reached out and cupped her breasts. She let him know she approved. His arousal was evident. She wanted to please him. Her hand went between them, and he moaned as she touched him. He was no longer able to stand it. He picked her up and headed for the bed. He laid her down and joined her in bed. She was irresistible to him.

He kissed her, letting his tongue slide between her lips and explore her mouth. He trailed kisses down her neck. He took her nipple into his mouth, teasing it between his lips. Sara arched her back into him. His hand roamed further down and found her folds. She gasped as he dipped a finger and then two in. She knew her orgasm was close. He has some strange power over her. Her body ached for him.

"Gil…" she moaned as she went over the edge. He was not far behind.

Grissom brushed a dark curl from her cheek as they remained entwined. He did not want to let her go yet. She still seemed fragile. He wanted to make sure she was alright. It was not easy for him to express his feelings. Rest assured he had them, but he had learned a long time ago to keep them buried. He was beginning to let Sara in behind that wall he had build so many years ago. She was his life now.

Sara called him back from the thoughts, "Hey, where'd you go?"

"What? I'm not going anywhere."

Sara laughed.

"You were just a million miles away."

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about you."

She prober herself up on one elbow, and faced him.

"What about me?"

This was hard for him, but he was determined to be more open with her. It was not enough to just share his bed. He needed to share his life. It would take time, but he would do it. He swore he would.

"How much I love you. How much I need you."

Sara was a bit shocked. He rarely said things like that. She knew he loved her and she liked that he was beginning to tell her more. She never realized that the words were important to her. His actions told her, but the words were nice too.

Sara leaned in and kissed him, "I love you, too."

"What do you want to do on our last day here?"

She snuggled up against his chest again.

"Don't remind me. I really don't want to go back. Can't we just stay here forever, just you and me?"

Grissom smiled at her and kissed the top of her head.

"Would that we could, but we both have to work and there is the issue of Hank."

"We could go get him and just live here. No lab, no death, no Ecklie, no secrets."

"I know, Dear."

Sara smiled again at that word. She wondered if that is what his father had called his mother.

"Hey, let's go eat. I'm hungry"

Grissom chuckled, "This mountain air suits you. Sure had increased your appetite....and your libido."

She smacked him as a playful smile crossed her face, "Yours too, my Dear. I seem to remember you practically chasing the bellman out of here so you could ravage me when we got here."

"Ravage you? I don't remember that," he feigned being shocked.

He have her that wink and kissed her again.

Sara laughed, "Gilbert Grissom, I want breakfast."

He didn't let up. He kissed her neck.

"Gil, please."

He didn't let up. He kissed her shoulders.

"I'm hungry."

He didn't let up. He kissed her lips.

Sara relented, "We can eat later."

He didn't let up and they made love again before breakfast.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: They had to go back to work sometime. So here it is.**

Grissom and Sara arrived home from their vacation. Both were reluctant to go back to the real world. The weekend had been a blissful retreat in their lives. Sara sat down on the couch and sighed. They had picked Hank up on the way home and he was bounding around the house glad to have mommy and daddy home.

Sara whined, "Do we really have to go back to work today?"

"It would look a bit suspicious if we didn't."

"I think someone missed us."

Grissom laughed and scratched Hank's ears, "I think you're right."

Hank was covering them both in sloppy kisses.

Grissom remarked, "What time is it?"

Sara looked at her watch, "It's about two. We better get some rest before we have to go into work. Do you mind if I just stay here for now. I'm really too tired to go home."

"I wouldn't mind if you stayed here all the time."

He had not meant to ask her that way. He had been thinking about asking her to move in for a long time, but wasn't sure if she wanted to or not. He knew she was fiercely independent and liked to do things her way. It would be a big change for her and for him. He wasn't' sure if either of them were ready, but did love waking up next to her every day.

Sara just looked at him, not quite sure he said what she thought he said.

"Did you......."

Grissom cut her off, "Sara, that is not how I had intended to ask you, but yes I'm asking you to move in with me....if you want to. There are lots of reasons that it would be a good idea. You are here all the time and it would save money, only one household, and there is Hank. He misses his mommy...."

She hesitated when she answered.

"Gil…."

"Sara, I love. I can wait until you're ready."

"I'm sorry."

"Just think about it. Maybe when you lease is up. "

Sara smiled, "Ever the pragmatist aren't you? I think I have another two months before I have to renew it."

Grissom shrugged. He knew it was not the right way to ask her.

Grissom just smiled at her. He was not good at the whole romance thing. He just kind of did things. It was just his way. They had been together almost a year now. He could hardly believe it. It felt like yesterday and forever all at the same time. He could pass her in the hall a work and the same butterflies filled his stomach. But, could not remember a time when he didn't love her. Unaccustomed as he was to being in a relationship, he wanted her to be with him all the time. It was getting harder and harder to hide how he felt at work.

Grissom covered his disappointment, "Hey, we can do this at whatever speed you want to."

"I was ready to do this eight years ago, but I want to be sure. I don't want to screw this up."

Grissom winced a bit at that, "Sorry I wasn't"

"It's OK, you are now at that is what I care about. We'll find the right time for this. For now let's just leave things the way they are."

Grissom nodded, "Come on we better get some rest before shift."

As they crawled into bed and were just about to doze off Sara remembered something.

"Did you remember that there will be some reporter following us this week? I was really hoping to miss that."

Grissom had already fallen asleep and didn't hear her. She was asleep right behind him. She would remind him later she thought.

The phone startled both of them to alertness. It was Grissom's phone.

Grissom answered, "Grissom."

Catherine was pissed, "Hey, Gil, sorry to wake you up, but you are needed early. Can you come in now?"

Grissom was clearing the cobwebs, "What? What time is it?"

"Sorry, it's about nine. You were due here an hour ago."

"Yeah, I'll be there in about an hour."

Catherine snapped, "Hurry."

Sara yawned, "Who was that?"

"Catherine, I need to go in early."

"Oh, OK. Go get in the shower and I'll make us something to eat."

Sara watched him head into the bathroom and she went to make him something to eat before he went to work.

She was just setting a sandwich on the table when he appeared dressed and ready to go. He grabbed it and was headed out the door. He seemed out of sorts. She wondered if he was still mad about her not wanting to move in with him.

"Thanks, I gotta run."

Sara stood there in his wake, "Bye."

He was off and running when she remembered about the reporters. She tried to catch him, but he was gone. She tried his cell, but it went straight to voice mail.

Sara thought Catherine would remind him and she proceeded to get ready for work. She herself had to be there in a little over an hour.

Grissom arrived at the lab but Catherine had been called out on a call. He proceeded to work on the pile of paperwork that was never ending. This is the part of the job he hated, but he knew it was necessary.

Sara never made it to the lab. She got a call out to a Burglary and headed straight there. She met Nick at the scene and they worked it together. Later, they went back to the lab.

Grissom had been called to an apartment building and met Catherine there. Grissom could not figure out why there were cameras following them up the elevator. Catherine explained that they were from the TV show Hard Evidence and that they had permission to follow them around and tape what they do. It was for PR.

Grissom could barely tolerate the mundane paperwork. He loathed the politics of this job, including Public Relations. All he wanted to do was to solve crimes. Dealing with reporters perturbed him. They were a nuisance. He would tolerate them as long as he had to. The scene took a long time to process. The fact that the reporters were chirping away in his ears made it seem even longer. They found lots of evidence and he and Catherine bagged and photographed it. It was almost the end of shift when they got back to the lab. Nick and Sara had finished their case and she came looking for Grissom.

Sara stood in the doorway, "Hey, I heard you caught a bad one tonight."

She was unsure of his feelings and unsure how to proceed. She knew he'd been upset when she said no.

Grissom looked up at her, "Yeah, rape. Not really sure what happened yet. Can you run the trace on this for me? I'm gonna need some help. I have these stupid reporters breathing down my neck. Did you know about them?"

"Yeah, we got a memo last week. I tried to remind you, but you ran out the door. Sorry. And yes, I will run the trace for you."

"Thanks, here's a list of what we found and what I need you to follow up on. You're the lifesaver this time."

"You OK with what we talked about earlier?"

"I am."

"Look, just give me some time."

"I sprang it on you and I'm sorry. I'm willing to wait for you to be ready. Good lord knows you waited for me long enough."

She smiled. She felt better.

He wanted nothing more than to kiss her, reassure her, but knew that was not possible here especially with the reporters slithering around the halls.

"I'll let you know what I find."

"Thanks."

A while later she came back and told him what had been found and that she had a few things to check into. It was just about dawn when she headed back to find him. He was hiding in his office to avoid the reporters.

Sara handed him the file, "Hey, here are your results."

He read them over and thanked her, "You ready to head home?"

"Yeah. I'll run down that Fireman's coat later."

Grissom pinched the bridge of nose."OK, thanks for your help. Any sign of the reporters?"

Sara smirked, "Last I saw them they were running from Hodges."

Grissom chuckled, "Figures"

"I'll get my things and we can head out."

She turned to leave.

"Hey, Sara?"

She stopped and turned around, "Yeah?"

"Do you……will you stay with me tonight?"

"Yes."

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Grissom and Sara arrived home to find Hank ready to do outside.

Grissom sighed, "I better take him for a walk and then we can eat."

"I'll get breakfast going while you do that. What do you want?"

Grissom cheekily said, "Oh, I don't know.......maybe some tall brunette."

He gave her a wink and went to take Hank for a walk. Sara smiled and watched him leave. She began making breakfast. There would be fruit and toast and omelets she was not as skilled in the kitchen as Grissom but he had taught her to make an omelet. She was just taking the last one out of the pan when Grissom arrived home. He let Hank off the leash and wrapped his arms around Sara.

"Smells good.....and the breakfast isn't bad either."

She turned around and gave him a kiss that promised more to follow.

Sara smiled, "Come eat before it gets cold."

Grissom did as requested.

Grissom was surprised, "This is really good. You're getting good at this."

"Well, I had a good teacher."

**A/N: Maybe I'm reading too much Grissom1 but I had to make Sara be a little hard on him.**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: We are up to The Unusual Suspect. We all know the importance of that case. I think it showed her insecurities then as well. **

**Smut alert.**

They solved the case with the fireman as well as the others that came along. There were some strange ones and some mundane ones. They had an easy going routine together at work. They liked to work together, but had to be careful not to be to be together all the time. The team had noticed that they were not fighting anymore and that they were getting along. Nick was glad all the angst seemed to be gone. He was happy to see Sara smile. And then came the case involving Hannah and Marlon West. Marlon had confessed to the murder and in court Hannah said that she did it. They had 72 hours to prove who did it. Nick and Sara were working together to figure out what happened. Sara interviewed Hannah and was not so convinced she did it. There was something about her that unnerved Sara a bit. She knew there was something about her that scared Sara a bit. Not many people could fool Sara, but Hannah had managed to. She had Sara running circles; not knowing what way was up. This was an unusual feeling for Sara. Grissom came home to find Sara on the couch curled into a ball and thinking.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

He sat down and stroked her hair. She leaned back into him.

Sara began, "This case has me spinning. I can't figure out if Hannah or Marlon did it or if they did it together."

"What are you thinking?"

"I don't know." She sighed, "Nick, Warrick and I have proved that she could have done it. There is reasonable doubt here. I think that Hannah might have done it. The DA is proceeding with the case against Marlon, but I just don't think he did it. I think that Hannah did it. We have court tomorrow, so we shall see what happens."

"You wanna get something to eat?"

"No, I don't think I could eat."

Grissom was worried, "Sara, you need to let this go. It's gonna eat at you if you let it. Let it go."

Sara was getting angry, "I can't just let it go. Someone killed Stacy and they need to pay for that. Letting it go isn't an option."

Sara pulled away a bit. She was mad and Grissom was making it worse. She knew he was just looking out for her. She had seen him get consumed in a case before. She had too. She was not willing to just let it go.

Grissom was losing patience as well, "Sara, it's not our job to determine guilt or innocence. We process the evidence and leave the rest to the courts. Don't lose perspective."

He had struck a nerve. She knew she lost perspective sometimes. She didn't like being reminded. She was hanging on by her fingertips.

"Yeah, whatever."

She needed out of there.

She got up and got Hank's leash and took him for a walk. Grissom let her go. He knew she needed space and time to think. He also knew she would realize he was right. He didn't need to rub it in or push her anymore.

Sara was in the park. She wasn't sure who she was angrier at, Hannah, Grissom, or herself. He was right. She was losing perspective. She was becoming too involved and it was eating at her. Damn him for being right. She couldn't let it go though. Hannah had gotten under her skin. Sara called Hank and she took him for a walk. They walked for about an hour before she was tired and wanted to go back. She and Hank walked back to the town house and went in. Grissom was waiting for her with a drink and food. He said nothing more to her about Hannah or the case. He had made his point and she was thinking about it. Sara drank the water.

"Thanks........for everything."

"You're welcome. Come and eat. You have court in four hours. You can get a bit of rest before you have to leave."

"Yeah. You're right you know."

"About what?"

"I'm losing perspective. I'm too close to this case."

"Sara, I don't want to be right. I'm worried about you. I don't like it when you get lost in your cases like this."

She smiled, "I know. At least now I have you….as a diversion"

"Glad to be of service. Do you think you could eat now?"

"Yeah."

"And then sleep?" he was hopeful. He knew she needed rest.

Sara ate and slept for a few hours before she had to get ready for court. Grissom was working in his office when Sara popped her head in to say goodbye.

"Bye, I'm on my way."

Grissom took his glasses off, "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, Nick will be there and you have your own case to work on. I'm gonna be fine......really. I'll see you when I get back."

"OK, bye."

He could see how upset she still was but gave her space. He knew pushing her would do no good.

Sara and Nick were in the Lab when they got the call that the jury was in. She and Nick went back to court. It was not a long deliberation. The jury acquitted Marlon. After the trial Sara talked to Hannah about what had happened. Hannah told Sara that Marlon had indeed killed Stacy. Sara sat there speechless. She had helped clear a murderer. She had helped Hannah create reasonable doubt. She had been played and she had lost. Hannah had fooled her. Her head was spinning. She drove home not believing what had happened. Grissom again found her sitting on the couch numb.

"Hey, Nick called and told me what happened. Are you OK?"

He sat down next to her and held her hand.

"She fooled me. I really thought she had done it. She played me."

"Sara.....I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

He put an arm around her.

Sara's voice was flat, "Nope."

Grissom tried to comfort her, "Let it go, Sara."

She pulled away from him.

She got up and walked to the bedroom without saying a word. She drew a bath and sank in for a long soak. It had been a long time since a case had gotten to her like this. She stayed in the water until it was cold. Grissom checked on her once, but left her alone. He heard the tub drain and went in. She was wearing his robe. She turned to him and looked at him with sad eyes. He closed the distance between them and just held her. She cried into his shoulder. It was a few minutes before she could talk. She felt like she was losing it.

Sara's voice waivered, "I let her play me. I let it happen."

"Sara, your compassion for other people is one of the things I love about you."

"But I..."

He cut her off with a kiss.

"Sara, you don't have to be perfect. You are allowed to be human."

She kissed him back. Her kisses became passionate. She wanted to feel something other than what she was feeling. Grissom understood and let her take the lead. She led him to the bedroom. She kissed him. He knew she wanted to feel in control of something. She unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall to the floor. She then untied the robe and let it fall to the floor. He marveled at her body for a moment before moving in a kissing her. She devoured his kisses and removed the rest of his clothes. They moved to the bed. Sara pushed Grissom down on the bed and straddled him. She was in control. They made love without speaking a word. She needed him and he was there for her. Here she was safe. Here she was grounded. Grissom was her rock. When they were done, she finally slept warm in his embrace.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: There is dialogue here from Rashomama. You know there is going to be talk of weddings and some smut. Enjoy and leave me a review please.**

Grissom and Sara were talking in the kitchen of their house when they got the call that they were needed to come in early. There had been a murder at a wedding and Swing was tapped out. The victim was a prominent defense attorney that had made her reputation defending mobsters. To say the least she was a ball buster. They had worked the scene for nearly 12 hours. It had been a long night. Just as the sun was coming up they finished.

Grissom turned to the team, "I'll see you guys back at the lab. I going to get this stuff cataloged in and then head home. Sara, Greg, you are both tapped out on overtime you need to get this back to the lab and then you are off the clock. Nick, you can work on getting it logged in."

Sara, Greg, and Nick were almost done and then they would head out too. Sara and Greg were in the Denali and Nick had driven his own truck because he was not at home when he got the call and that way when they got back to the lab he could unload the evidence because it was loaded in his truck.

Greg whined, "I'm starving. Let's get something to eat before we head back in."

Nick was the first to answer, "OK. Because I have a long morning ahead of me.....alone."

Everyone else was maxed out on overtime.

They went to Frank's and went in to eat breakfast. It had been a long night and they needed to eat. They were on the TV on the news. When they looked up Nick's car had been stolen with all the evidence from the scene. There was nothing left to do but to call Grissom and Brass and let them know what had happened. It did not take long for them all to arrive along with the Undersheriff, who to say the least was not pleased. Grissom ran interference for his team and sent them back to the lab. He informed them that they were not allowed to leave until they had spoken to IAB. Nick, Sara, and Greg were waiting in the break room. They decided to go over what they remember from the scene. It was going to be a long day. They took turns telling what they remembered. Sara went first, then Nick. When Nick was done talking, Catherine walked in with the wedding DVD. As they watch the video they begin to understand why someone would want her dead. They all just sat there in stunned silence as they watched.

Catherine snarked, "Justifiable Homicide?"

Sara laughed, "I think so. Where is Grissom? He has to see this. I'll go find him."

Sara walked to Grissom's office and found him working at his desk.

Grissom looked up, "IAB here yet?"

"No, but you have to see the wedding DVD. We may have found the motive. There just aren't words to describe it. You have to watch it. We have it cued up in the break room."

Grissom winced, "That bad?"

Sara:"Oh, yeah."

They watch the DVD and are just as stunned the second time. They try not to laugh.

Sara said, "You talked to the bride. This seems like motive. Do you think she did it?"

Grissom remarked, "When would she have had the time?"

Grissom gave his account of the story. They all listen to his account of talking to the bride and the caterer.

Grissom asked, "You guys finish your statements yet for IAB? They are gonna be late. There was an officer involved shooting that took priority. Keep working on what you have. The car should be here soon and we can begin processing it. That and the body are all we have."

"Grissom, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah, follow me back to my office. I have to get back to work on what I have."

Sara and Grissom went back to his office to talk. They went in and he closed the door.

Sara paced back and forth, "How much longer are they going to be?"

"I don't know. They were on their way when the officer involved call came in. Just hang tight and do what you can."

Sara whined, "It's been hours. We're getting hungry. Can we at least get something to eat?"

"You can't leave, so order something that can be delivered. I can't leave either."

Sara snapped, "Great."

Grissom sympathized, "I know it sucks. Try to get some rest until they get here. I'll arrange for some food. I just wanted to go home too. Did you call the dog sitter? We need to let him know that we are going to be late."

"Yeah I did that already. I really need a shower and a change of clothes."

"Sorry," he reached out and caressed her cheek.

Sara warned, "Don't start something we can't finish here at work mister."

Grissom gave her that raised eyebrow look and gave her a quick kiss.

Sara pouted, "See another reason this is not fair."

Grissom laughed at that one.

Sara grumped, "Weddings suck."

Grissom repeated, "Weddings suck? So you never want to get married?"

Sara and Grissom had never talked about marriage before. She was a bit taken aback.

Sara stammered, "I'm not…. anti-marriage, just don't see the point in doing something for the sake of doing it. I could see myself married some day, but I won't become any one's property. And if I do get married, it will be on my terms, not someone else's."

Grissom smiled, "I would expect nothing less from you my dear. Now go get some rest. You need it."

He loved her feistiness; she would never be anyone's property.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're tired and you need to rest is what that means. Nothing more, nothing less. Now go."

He gave her a kiss.

Sara relaxed, "I guess I am a bit on edge from all of this. Greg and Nick are in the break room I will go see if they found anything else."

As she left Hodges came in to see Grissom. Sara found Greg and Nick working. Greg gave is account of the story. Greg had found a statue that had an arrow point oh which she hit her head. But the statue was in the back of Nick's car which had been stolen. They were again at a place with nothing to do.

Sara rolled her eyes, "I'm going to the locker room. Come find me if IAB ever gets here."

Sara left and went to rest in the locker room. A few hours later Catherine woke her up to tell her that the car had arrived and they could begin processing it.

Sara, Nick and Greg were able to talk out what happened. They did figure out that they bridesmaids were the ones that through a set of circumstances killed the mother. When the undersheriff got to the lab with IAB they solved the case and the suspects were in custody. They were all ready for sleep. It was very late. They had been waiting for twenty hours for IAB to get there.

Grissom whispered to her, "Sara, are you ready to go?"

Sara yawned, "Yep, I wonder what they will do."

"Nothing, we solved the case. We'll get a slap on the wrist and that's it."

Sara sighed, "Just take me home, please. I need a shower and sleep."

Grissom smiled, "Come on, let's go."

Sara could hardly stay awake on the way home. He was nodding off in the car. When they got home she and Grissom went in the house.

Grissom said, "Go take a shower and I will make something to eat."

"Thanks, I love you."

Grissom kissed her and sent her on her way. He made her some toast and fruit. He then joined her in the shower. She turned around and leaned against him and let the hot water relax her body. Grissom kissed the back of her neck; something he knew drove her nuts.

"I have toast and fruit for you."

"Thanks"

"Come on let's eat and then head to bed. The undersheriff gave us the night off."

Sara scoffed, "He should for making us wait that long.......thanks for this.....its good."

"Good."

When they were done, Sara and Grissom crawled in to bed. Sara snuggled up against Grissom. She laid her head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. He ran his fingers through her hair. He began kissing the top of her head and moved his other hand to caress her breast. She didn't respond, which was highly unusual. He looked down and she was asleep. He smiled at her, kissed the top of her head and followed her to sleep.

CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI

Sara and Grissom had slept for nearly 10 hours when the phone woke them. It was the dog sitter wondering if they were ever going to pick up Hank. Grissom told her he would be by in a bit to get him.

Sara lamented, "Some parents we are. We forgot about him."

"Well, we were tired. He was in good hands. You know he loves to go to Eva's house."

"I know. But, I miss him."

"We'll go get him in just a bit."

Grissom leaned in and kissed Sara. She kissed him back. They both knew what the other wanted. Sara pulled Grissom closer and ran her fingers though his hair, something she knew would turn him on. That was not going to take much today. They both realized it was their first anniversary as a couple. Grissom knew just how to turn Sara on too. He kissed down the side of her neck leaving a trail to her breast. She felt shivers of pleasure course through her body as he slipped his hand under her pajamas and remove the shirt. He then resumed his kisses continuing down to her stomach and then back up. She groaned out her pleasure as he kissed her body. He concentrated on her pleasure zones and was rewarded. She arched her back to meet his lips. She was amazed at how he could make her feel so alive. Nobody had ever made her feel the way Grissom did. He worked his way back up to her neck and then to her lips. She kissed him passionately. She parted her lips and granted him access. She could taste him. She wanted him now, but he wanted to make it last. He knew just how to caress her to take her just to the edge and then back off to build her pleasure. She both loved him and hated him when he did this, but she knew it would make the final pleasure that much more intense. She let him continue. She pulled him close and then began to tease him also. She could feel his arousal against her. She shifted so that he was on top of her. She guided him to where she wanted him. He entered her with an agonizing slowness that allowed her to feel all the pleasure as he did.

"Giiiillllll...." she moaned out as he entered her. She dug her fingers into his back. He slowly began go move inside her. She matched his pace. He was being too gentle. She had a powerful feeling building and she wanted release.

"Faster."

But he didn't .He was prolonging it again. He continued to please her as only he knew how. She was on the verge as he toyed with her breasts sending her crashing over the edge into a sea of pleasure that took her body to new places. She had never felt anything that strong before. Grissom just let her enjoy for a moment. She caught her breath and then began an assault of her own. She knew how to please him. She rolled him onto his back and straddled him. She was taking control of him. She too could play this game.

Grissom could not hide his pleasure. He felt as if he were going to explode any minute. She kissed him and then kissed down his neck and then down his chest. She was pushing him to the edge. He pulled her up, rolled her over and entered her again. He was not so slow this time. He was near the edge. He could feel it coming. There was no return now. He felt the first wave crash over him as he tensed and then released calling Sara's name.

He lay down next to her as they both caught their breath.

Grissom whispered, "Happy anniversary, Dear."

Sara kissed him and returned the sentiment.

Hank was returned home and then they went to eat. They both had the day off and decided to spend it together doing nothing in particular. Grissom planned to make dinner for her. He was making Veggie lasagna and salad with peach cobbler for dessert. She had taken Hank for a walk and was on her way back when she smelled dinner from outside. It smelled wonderful. It was hard for her to believe it had been a year already. They had been through so much and she was so happy. She loved him more than she could ever imagine. He was her life and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She had never been this happy. She was thinking just maybe she might be ready to move in with him.

She let the dog off the leash and closed the door. She could her him in the kitchen. Pots and pans were banging and wonderful smells wafted her way. She felt the pangs of hunger. She came up behind him and kissed the back of his neck and wrapped her arms around him. He turned around her greeted her with a kiss.

"Dinner's almost ready. How about a quick shower and then we can eat?"

"Sure. Are you joining me?"

"That was the plan," as he kissed her again.

Sara laughed, "Gilbert Grissom, what has gotten in to you today?"

Grissom salaciously said, "You."

He kissed her neck as he undressed her to take a shower. They got in the shower and let the warm water rain down on them. Sara intended on making this round two. She began kissing him. He did not resist. He kissed her back. His approval could be felt against her hip. She smiled as she knew she had reached the desired effect. He lifted her up against the shower wall and took her there. It was swift and strong. He knew she was the one he would love until the end of time. She was his one and only. He wanted to be with her forever.

Grissom whispered breathlessly, "I love you, Sara."

"I love you, too."

He kissed her again.

"Gil."

He kissed her again.

Sara protested, "Gil, dinner is going to burn. We need to go eat."

She was right. This time he had to stop. It would be hard to explain to the fire department that the house caught on fire while they were doing it in the shower.

"You're right. I just can't get enough of you.

Sara teased, "You can have more lately."

Grissom smiled that mischievous smile that turned her on and they got out to get dressed for dinner.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: There is dialogue from Time of Your Death. You know we had to deal with that episode and several of the conversations there. Still don't own them and I did borrow the dialogue. **

**Smut alert**

**Sorry this has taken so long. I have been without a working computer for days. I will post as I can. Thanks for understanding. I do appreaciate it. I have more in the works. It's coming.**

Shift started as normal that day. Grissom handed out assignments. He and Catherine were taking a 419 at the Palermo. Warrick had a trash run in Henderson. Nick had work in the lab to finish. Greg and Sara were working on a hit and run fatality in North Las Vegas. Nick was called to help Catherine process the hotel room. They found that the victim was there with a blonde. It was assumed that she was a prostitute and that he had been rolled. The game of indentifying the players began.

Sara and Greg returned from their hit and run.

Sara poked her head in Grissom's office.

"Hey there."

"Hi. You finish your case?"

"Yeah, Greg and I sent everything to Trace. We found paint and plastic. We're hoping to get something back. The victims are with Doc. Robbins right now."

"Was it bad?"

"Yeah, three teenagers and a tree. There was another car there. They might have been street racing. We are trying to chase down what we can."

"Is there anything you need to do right now?"

"No, why?"

"I could really use some help with this case."

He held up the file he was working on.

"It just gets more and more complicated."

She loved it when he needed her.

"What do you need me to do?"

"Have Greg go with you to check out what he was driving."

"OK, I'll let you know what we find."

They talked to the valet and discovered that they were driving a Ferrari. They also found that the Ferrari had been in an accident. Sara called Grissom to tell him what they found.

"Have Greg work with Sophia on that Ferrari. See if they can learn who owned the car and

"I want you to run down some information on the victim. See where he worked and why he was here."

Greg found the Ferrari and then discovered that it had been involved in an accident with a black Corvette

A while later Greg was in the garage with the black Corvette. Sara came in to see what he found.

"I guess the broadcast paid off. Black Corvette."

"Parking enforcement found it abandoned off Durango near Russell."

"Right between the pool hall and the Palermo?"

"Yup," as he continued to lift prints.

Sara began photographing the car.

She remarked, "This would have been impossible to drive away."

Greg moved away from the car. "Yeah. Bummer."

Sara rolled her eyes, "Please tell me there's something more to this guys and cars thing than the obvious penis-extension metaphors."

Greg deadpans, "So you want me to lie?"

Sara smiled and went back to taking pictures

Greg noticed some red paint, "Red paint transfer."

He photographed it and took a sample for Trace, "I'll get a sample to Hodges. See if he can match this to the Ferrari."

Sara continued to process the car. She found a rental agreement in the glove box.

"It's a rental."

"Extravagant Automobiles?"

Sara said, "No. Zenith?"

"Yeah, bad night to be in the car-rental business.

"Driver's name is Randy Bolen. Let's to talk to him.

They left to report to Grissom.

"Thanks, run who rented those cars. I have to go meet with the Sheriff and Ecklie. Tell Catherine what you found."

"Sure. You want to meet for Breakfast later?"

"Yeah, if I get out of this meeting soon."

Sara continued to work up the rentals and found that both cars had been rented by the same company. She reported to Catherine what she found. They were both rented by Caprice Unlimited. She and Catherine ran down the company on the internet, but only got a phone number. They triangulated the location of the cell phone and found the building.

Sara called Grissom.

"Grissom."

"Hey, I think we have the address where the calls were made. Come pick me up and we can go see them and grab something to eat."

"Ok, give me about thirty minutes to finish up here.

"I'll be waiting."

"Thanks."

Sara looked around before she decided to say, "I miss you, hurry up."

Grissom smiled and felt a familiar stirring in his belly. He knew that voice. He had to suppress if for now. That could be taken care of later. _Does she know what she does to me when she uses that voice?_

"Bye."

"Bye"

She hung up she knew that voice drove him nuts. That's why she used it.

He picked her up and they drove to the building. They were always careful not to touch each other at work. His touch could still turn her into a quivering mass of desire even a year later. Grissom stopped at a red light and put a hand on her thigh almost before he remembered where they were.

"Sorry, I…."

"It's OK. I have to fight that urge as well."

He smiled at her.

They pulled up at went into the building. It was like another world. It was as though they stepped into Japan.

Grissom looked at Sara for a moment as they heard the man giving directions to two women.

The man said, "I'm sorry this is a private residence"

Grissom explained how they were and why they were there. Anthony Caprice began watching Sara and her body language. Grissom noticed that he was watching Sara. A light bulb went off in Grissom's head.

"I get it. You're one of those companies that stages fantasies, right? Everything appears real, but it's all been worked out in advance?"

Sara gave Grissom a look and Anthony Caprice looked again at Sara. Caprice was sizing them up and neither of them felt comfortable.

Caprice began, "These scenarios take weeks to craft. I learn everything….(looking at Grissom)…about my client's wants and his desires all without him even knowing."

Grissom instinctively looked at Sara.

Caprice went on, "Secret longings…they have a….a kind of electricity. They're often much more visible than we would want them to be."

Grissom chose not to dig that whole any deeper and went on questioning Caprice about the case. Caprice printed out the scenario and gave them a copy, but refused to say who paid for the event. He kept observing Grissom and Sara through the entire conversation.

As Caprice started to leave he turned and said, "Oh and may all your dreams come true."

Grissom and Sara stared at him as he walked out of sight. They were shocked. There was no way he could know. They had managed to fool their friends, who knew them better than anyone for more than a year. There was no way a man who they just met could know.

As they got back in the car Sara spoke.

"You don't think he could really tell do you? I mean we hide it right?"

"I…..don't know Sara. I would hope not, but …..I don't know."

"That was just freaky. It was like he could see what I what thinking."

"Yeah."

"Gil, what are you thinking?"

"I think the same think you are. Are we that visible to others?"

"Well nobody at the lab seems to know. I don't see how."

"Let's go home and get some rest and then hit it with fresh eyes."

Grissom headed back to his townhouse. Without realizing it, Sara was slowly moving in there. She still officially had her leased apartment, but she rarely stayed there. The townhouse was beginning to feel like home.

"Do you want some tea?" he asked her as he sat down next to her.

She laid her head on his chest, "No."

He wrapped an arm around her and she fitted up against him. Soon her breathing was slow and steady. Grissom realized that she had fallen asleep. He smiled and kissed the top of her head. He woke her just long enough to encourage her to come to bed where they both slept for a solid six hours.

The alarm blared at 7:00 pm. Neither of them wanted to get up.

"Gil, we better get going."

"Yeah, I know."

As they were in the layout room later that night the team was trying to piece together the case. They had figured out the timeline and what happened. They also figured out why it appealed to him so much. Caprice had indeed learned his client well. This was not the entire answer though. There was something missing. Why did Jeff leave the room and the girl? Grissom went back to the tapes from the casino for the answer. They eventually found that he had confronted the man that was pointed out as the abusive boyfriend and his body guards had accidently killed Jeff.

They were all sitting around the table in the break room at the end of shift discussing the case.

Catherine was explaining about the guards, "Most likely, he was still alive when they left. They probably thought they just had taught him a lesson."

Grissom remarked, "They did: Don't confuse fantasy with reality."

Sara gave Grissom a sly look and smiled slightly at him.

Greg added, "Well hush money or not, you have to admit that whole fantasy thing was a pretty cool gift from a very generous boss."

Sara smirked, "Greg, don't you have a birthday coming up?"

"Why, yes, Sara, I do."

Grissom and Sara's eyes met again and she smiled at him.

Catherine tried to guess what he would want, "I'm thinking ear-shredding rock, a beautiful model, boatloads of sushi and….Latex?

Sheepishly Greg answered, "Eh, that was last year."

Sara tried not to smile. Then Grissom said something that surprised her.

"I think fantasies are best kept private."

He looked Sara straight in the eyes and held her gaze for a moment. Sara could not read him at that moment. This whole conversation had her thinking.

Nick walked in the room, "Hey, wanna know why Jeff left the girl and went downstairs?"

Catherine took the bait, "Okay."

Nick opened the box he was holding, "This was dropped off at the Palermo. Manager sent it over."

Inside the box was s diamond bracelet.

Catherine commented, "Nice rocks."

Grissom looked at Sara again. She is his fantasy. She had been for years. He didn't need the rest of it.

Nick continued, "Gift wrapped, never picked it up."

Catherine remembered, "Yeah, there as a jewelry story right across from the service corridor entrance."

"You know, the biggest fantasy in Vegas is that everything happens by chance. Nothing here happens by chance. The odds are set before you get off the plane," with that Nick turned and left the room to return the bracelet to evidence.

Greg slyly hinted, "You know, I'd settle for a birthday breakfast."

Catherine snarked, "Now that is a fantasy."

She and Greg followed Nick out of the room.

Sara finished reading what she was looking at and smiled. She looked up to find blue eyes locked on her. There was no doubt not reading what was on his mind. She had seen that look before. Their eyes locked, no words had to be spoken. He gave the slightest nod of his head. She knew what he meant and nodded back.

"I'll meet you in your office. Just let me get my things from my locker."

"Okay."

Grissom had rarely had this reaction to her at work. It would take him a moment to be able to get up without embarrassing himself. He tried to think of other things until he could get her home. _Decomp, decomp, Ecklie, paperwork, come on Gil you are a grown man, not a teenager, you can do this. Just until you get her home. _He was finally able to get up and walk to his office. Sara came in a moment later. His eyes still burned for her.

"Come on, let's go home. I have something I need to take care of."

Sara laughed, "I can see that."

They walked out to the parking lot. They had driven together that day. He opened the door of the car for her. She leaned in and stole a kiss from him. It was just a light kiss, but it had a profound effect on Grissom. He was barely maintaining control. This was what scared him about Sara. She could make him lose control, make him do things that he would not usually do. He wanted to pull her in close and kiss her, but he knew that was a bad idea at work.

"Sara, don't do that right now."

"What, this?" and she kissed him again.

"Yes. I really can't take it right now."

They both got in the car and Grissom drove away from the garage.

"Gil, what's gotten into you?"

He answered honestly, "You, Sara. For years you were my fantasy. Now I have you and I wonder how long until that bubble bursts and you are gone."

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere."

"Sometimes how badly I want you scares me. Losing control is my one of my greatest fears. You make me lose control….and I like it, but it scares the hell out of me."

Sara was shocked that Grissom was sharing this with her. He usually kept everything so close to the vest. It was hard to know what he was thinking. Here he was sharing his thoughts with her. This was her fantasy.

As they arrived at the townhouse, Grissom took Sara's hand and kissed the palm. This was an act of intimacy she knew that. He had shared a big piece of himself with her.

"Come on, let's get inside." He came around and opened her door for her.

They had just closed the front door when Sara broke the silence.

"Gil, I love you."

She kissed him. This time he didn't have t hold back. The passion he had felt at work could be explored and quenched. He didn't want this to be slow and soft. He needed her in a primal way. He let his hands roam over her body. He kissed along her neck. He began removing her clothing. He started with her shirt. He loved her breasts. He loved the feel of them in his hands and the taste of them. He indulged in that for a moment. He took one nipple into his mouth feeling it harden at his touch and then moved to the other. Sara wriggled at his touch. He unsnapped the button at the top of her pants and unzipped them. He slipped a hand in and found her ready for him. He smiled against her mouth as he kissed her again. Sara widened her stance. Grissom slid her pants down the rest of the way and she stepped out of them. Sara tugged at the buttons on Grissom's shirt and them undone. She loved his chest, so wide and strong. It was she kissed his shoulders as he pulled her close. Skin on skin the held each other for a moment. He kissed her again and she removed his pants.

"Sara…."

He pulled her toward the bedroom.

He backed her into the bed and laid her down. She laid in the middle of the bed. Grissom stared at her for a moment. She looked like an angel. This was his fantasy. He laid down on top of her and kissed her. The feel of skin on skin was heavenly. He settled himself between Sara's legs and kissed her again. He arched her back into him. She reached between them and guided him into her. Grissom slowly thrust forward and filled her. She moaned. Grissom then began a slow rhythm that Sara began increase. She wrapped her legs around his waist to allow him deeper entry. He thrust harder. Sara matched him. She was close to going over the edge. As she went she called out his name. Grissom knew there was not return for him. He could feel the climax building he thrust faster. Sara ran her fingers through his hair and pulled him in closer. He thrust one more time and came inside her. He collapsed on top of her, breathless.

"Reality is so much better than fantasy." He whispered into her ear.

She smiled as they both drifted off to sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: There is dialogue from Bang Bang and Way to Go in this one.**

**Don't own them.**

**Smut alert. **

The phone ringing ripped through the silence of the townhouse. There had been a shooting and Grissom and Sara were needed at the scene. A woman had been found shot in her home. Her husband was nowhere to be found. There were signs that it was a domestic dispute. That body led to others in the office where the husband worked. There they found the husband wounded. The wife had been sleeping with the gardener. The husband had slept with a prostitute.

Sara interviewed the husband and had to tell him that his wife had been killed. It was only water that they discovered that the husband had killed his wife, his coworkers and had caused his own injuries. He had faked being shot. The police had a tail on him but he slipped away and went to the casino. He then shot a security guard and took a hostage up to a room in the hotel. Brass was negotiating he release when the whole thing turned bad. Brass was shot. Warrick was with him when he went to the hospital. The call went out officer down.

Grissom and Sara were at dinner when they heard an officer down call came across their radio. At that moment Grissom's phone rang. It was Warrick.

"Grissom."

"Hey Grissom, its Warrick. Brass has been shot. It's bad."

"I'm on my way. Where are they taking him?"

"Desert Palm Hospital."

"I'll be there soon," and he hung up.

Sara saw the look on Grissom's face, "What happened?"

Grissom was still in shock. He sat there for a moment before he could answer.

Sara was even more concerned, "Gil, what happened?"

"Brass. He's been shot."

"Oh, God. Is he okay?" she put her hand over his.

"I don't know," he was numb.

"Do you want me to drive you?"

"Uh…yeah. Thanks."

"Come on."

They paid the bill and went to the hospital. Sara drove him.

"Gil, he's in good hands."

"I know. I have his medical power of attorney. He… didn't trust Ellie to do it. He asked me over a year ago."

"He trusts your judgment."

He sighed heavily but said no more.

They pulled up to the hospital. Sara let Grissom out and went to park. Her phone rang as she was parking. They needed her back at the lab. She called Grissom.

"Hey, I got called back to the lab. I will come back as soon as I can. I love you."

"I'm going to see what they know then I will call you. Thanks, Sara."

He met the undersheriff in the waiting room. He explained to the doctor that he had the power of attorney. While they were waiting Grissom got a call about a dead body on the train tracks near Henderson. He called Sara to meet him and Nick there. He needed to see her and work was a good excuse. The case had taken a strange turn. The man on the tracks had no head and a 19 inch waist.

David was trying to get the liver temperature, but not having much luck.

"David, are you getting the liver temp or performing acupuncture?"

Sara walked up just then.

"His liver is not where it's supposed to be. Do you think this is some kind of birth defect?"

Grissom turned to Sara, "What do you think?"

Sara remarked still in wonder of what she was looking at, "I think I feel fat."

Dave plunged the thermometer in again and hit the liver, "Yes! I got the liver."

Sara began to theorize, "Suicide? Guy loses his shirt at the tables, decides to take a permanent nap on the tracks."

Grissom deadpans, "Well he died with his boots on."

Sara knew he was trying to think of other things.

"How's Brass?"

"It's not good. They were trying to stabilize him. They are going to call if I'm not back in time to make the decisions."

She wanted to reach out to him, but that was not possible. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and feel safe for just a moment. That would have to wait.

"We need to get this scene processed so I can get back. That's why I called you."

"Let's get started."

He sighed and started working. Sara new it would be hard for Grissom and work would help. It took three hours and then they headed back to Vegas. On the drive back he spoke little.

"I need to call his daughter, Ellie. She lives in LA. I'll get her number from Brass's file."

"You sure he'd want her here?"

"Yeah, I think he would."

"How are you doing?"

"Okay I guess. It's all overwhelming. I've known Jim a long time."

"I know. He trusts you."

"I need to get back and see what is happening."

"Do you want me to drop you off at the hospital?"

"No, I better take my car. I have so much to do."

"Hey, I'm here for you if you need me, you know that, right?"

Grissom had never really leaned on Sara for anything. He had always been the one who was the solid one. She had been there to support him, but he had never leaned on her for strength. He just might have to his time, especially if things went bad.

"I know that, Dear," he took her hand and kissed the palm.

The rest of the ride was made in quiet. She knew he needed time to think and plan. She gave him that space.

At the hospital Grissom learned that Brass needed surgery to remove the bullet lodged in his chest. It was up to Grissom to decide if he was to have it or not. After weighing the odds and listening to what the doctor had to say he decided to consent to the surgery. The waiting game began. While he was waiting Ellie showed up. He offered to get her a hotel and waited while they operated.

Grissom went back to the lab to get some work done. He did some research on corseting.

Sara walked into his office and found him reading.

"How's it going? You okay?"

"I'm okay."

Sara looked at the book he was looking at, "That's a man in a corset."

Grissom explained, "Corset training, a venerable practice."

Sara smirked, "Maybe for Scarlett O'Hara. Since when was it equal opportunity?"

"In Victorian times it was considered a staple of masculine attire. Students in British boarding schools were encouraged to lose an inch a year from the time there were 14 on."

"I guess I should feel comforted that sadistic ideas of beauty aren't restricted to women."

"Mmmmm….it's called a wasp waist which is revealing. A wasp is from the insect group hymenoptera. The notion of hymen indicated virginity. In predacious wasps the genitalia no longer functions as a reproductive organ. It's used as a stinger."

"Go in for sex and get stung; pretty much every man's fear."

"Mmmm."

Grissom changed the subject. He was not comfortable with where this was going. He explained the cause of death.

Sara asked him one last question, "Where did you learn so much about corsets?"

"I have my sources."

He gave her a look that said he was not going to give her any more information. She had her ideas where he found out about them, but decided not to open that up again. The last time Lady Heather came up it caused a fight and neither of them needed that now. Besides, she was out of their lives now….for good.

Sara tracked down the corset and its owner. That led to identification and to his residence. They discovered that he was in to Civil War reenactment. From that they learned where he did his reenactments. They talked to a man that he dueled with. It was supposed to be a reenactment, but Caleb Carson took it seriously and shot the other man with a real bullet. Grissom and Sara went to check out the sight of the scene.

Sara, "So how did they do this?"

Grissom answered her, "Here, turn around and put your back against mine. Walk out ten paces and turn around."

Sara giggled, but it sounded like fun so she was game. She turned her back and began pacing off the distance.

"Ready?"

"Ready?"

Together they counted, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten," the both turned and snapped a picture.

Sara grinned at him and then saw the blood

"I got blood drops heading away from Mister Carson, consistent with the duelist's story."

Grissom saw a much larger pool of blood, "I got something here too. This could be the blood we didn't find at the train tracks. It's a lot of blood. Maybe Carson was killed here."

"What is the deal with men and dueling? Standing 50 feet apart and shooting at one another?"

Grissom smiled at that but could offer her no explanation that really made sense.

"Come on, let's get this processed and get the stuff back to the lab."

They went back to lab and turned in the evidence and began processing. He did some research on the internet about gunshot wounds and the effects from them. Grissom decided to talk to Ellie after Sophia told him that she was poking around his pension. He went to find Sara to tell her.

"Hey, Sara I'm going to PD. I need to talk to Ellie. Will you please go with Sophia to interview the suspect?"

"Sure…You okay?"

"Yeah, I just need to go get through to her somehow."

"What are you going to do?"

"I have an idea. I'll let you know how it comes out."

Grissom took her to Brass's office and showed him the picture of him on his desk. She agreed to go back to the hospital. Just as they got there Brass went into cardiac arrest. They did manage to bring him back. He opened his eyes to see Ellie there. He reached out to her but she ran away. Grissom cursed under his breath. He'd hoped that they could mend this rift between. Brass could use her support right now. He snuck away to call Sara and tell her that Brass was awake.

"Hey, Brass woke up."

"That's great. Did you get through to Ellie?"

"I thought I might have, but she ran."

"I'm sorry, babe."

"Will you tell the others for me please? Catherine's here already."

"Sure. You sound tired," she was worried about him.

Grissom sighed, "I am. I just want to sleep for a week."

"I'll come to the hospital and then we can go get some sleep. It's been a long two days."

"It has. I'll see you in a few minutes. I….thanks for everything. I don't know if I could have done this without you."

"Yes you could have, but you're welcome. I love you."

"Bye."

She knew it was hard for him to say those words. She also knew he loved her.

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The team gathered outside the window of the ICU as Grissom was allowed to see Brass.

Brass said hoarsely, "Hey."

Grissom smiled slightly, "Hey…..Have some water," as he held up a glass of water with a straw. The doctor had told him that Brass would have a sore throat from the intubation and that he was allowed to have small sips of water. Grissom had assured the doctor that he would have him drink.

Brass took a small sip, "Thanks for not pulling the plug."

Talking hurt and Brass was not up for much of it.

"Your, uh, fan club is here."

Grissom and Brass both looked out the window and saw the entire team and Doc. Robbins there waiting to see him. They all hugged each other. Grissom sighed. He was suddenly very tired and wanted to sleep.

Brass asked, "Where's Ellie? It thought I saw her."

"You, um, did. I don't know where she went. I'm sorry."

"Hey, at least she came. It's a start."

"It is. Get some rest. I'll come see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Gil, thanks for everything. I knew…..I knew you'd be the right person. Ellie proved she couldn't handle it. I'm not angry with her. I just knew she couldn't do it."

"You're welcome. Now rest. We'll come back tomorrow."

"Yeah, I am kinda tired."

Brass waved at the team again as Grissom exited the room.

"He's going to rest now. We can all see him tomorrow."

They nodded and began to leave. Soon it was just Sara and Grissom.

She took his hand. She could see the weight of the past two days on his face. He looked exhausted.

"Come on, Gil. Let's go to my place and rest. It's closer."

He nodded and as they left he placed his hand in the small of her back.

Brass saw the exchange and smiled as he drifted off to sleep.

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They entered the apartment, both bone tired and spent. Sara spoke first.

"Do you want something to eat?"

"No, I just want a shower."

"Okay."

She could tell he was in a contemplative mood. He was quiet and drawn into himself. She would give him time to process and then he would talk. She had learned to make snap decisions about his quiet times. He just had to think it over before he spoke.

He had left some clothes here at Sara's. He pulled them out of the drawer and took a shower. Then Sara did the same. Grissom was lying on the bed and began talking.

"I don't know. Most people want to die in their sleep I suppose, never know that it's happening….like a crime scene...surprise! You're dead. I'd prefer to know in advance that I was going to die. I'd like to diagnosed with cancer actually, have some time to prepare……go back to the rainforest one more time, reread Moby Dick, possibly enter an international chess tournament, at least have enough time to say goodbye to the people I love."

Sara walked in from the bathroom in her robe and knelt on the floor next to the bed where he was lying.

"I'm not ready to say goodbye."

Grissom smiled a wicked smile at her. All of the sudden he was not that tired. He needed to connect with Sara again. He pulled her on to the bed and rolled onto his back. She was poised over him. She leaned forward and kissed him, just a soft kiss at first. Grissom cupped his hands around her head and pulled her down for another kiss. This one was not so gentle. His tongue demanded entry into her mouth, which she granted. He pulled her on top of him.

"There is one thing I need to do more of before I die."

Sara laughed, "And what's that?"

"I need to tell you I love you more. I do you know."

"I know you do."

He pulled her down for another kiss. She then sat up straddling him.

"God, Sara you are beautiful."

His hands reached for the sash of her robe and untie it. The silky material slipped from her shoulders and pooled at her hips. Grissom ran his hands over the smooth skin of her shoulders and down her back, gently pulling her down for a kiss. Sara unbuttoned the buttons of his shirt and let it slid it off his chest. She flattened herself against his chest. She loved the feel of her skin on his. Grissom's hands began to roam. He wrapped her in a tight embrace and rolled them over so he was on top of her.

Sara smiled at him and began working on the button of his jeans. He assisted her unit he was undressed. Sara pushed the throw pillows that covered her bed to the floor and slipped between the sheets of the bed. Grissom joined her again on the bed. Sara enveloped him in arms and legs as she pulled him to her. She felt him slip inside her and begin to move. Sara shuttered at the sensation. Her body always responded to his touch. It amazed her, the power he had over her. She felt herself begin to float. Grissom knew just how to take her there, just where to touch and just where to kiss her. She was close to the edge. So was he. She could tell by the change is his tempo. Grissom felt Sara's body tighten and then release. He felt is release building. There was no return now. He called her name into her hair as he went over the edge. The passion they felt was born of making a connection. They both needed to have that connection.

She finally figured out where she belonged. Her home was with Grissom. She had never had a normal home and she wanted that, a permanent home.

She whispered, "Gil, ask me again. I'm ready."

He looked confused.

"Ask me again."

It dawned on him what she was asking. He propped himself up on one elbow and looked at her.

"Sara will you move in with me?"

"Yes."

He kissed her, "I do love you."

Tears formed behind her eyes. She could not help it.

"Why the tears?"

"I'm just happy. I love you."

He pulled her close and let the shroud of blissful sleep close around them.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I am sooo sorry it took me so long to post this. I am without my Laptop and I am having to borrow a computer. I hope to get mine back soon. **

**This covers Built to Kill One and Two. **

**Thanks for reading. I will try to get more posted soon. **

The next few weeks were spent moving Sara and combining two houses into one. There were things of hers that she wanted to keep. There were things of his he had to give up. It was not without some arguments, but they eventually got settled in. Sara painted the bedroom and the walls in the living room. They decided on warm tones and she used many of his specimens from his collections and his father's botany collections to decorate the walls. The live bugs had been relegated to Grissom's home office. He grumbled a bit about that, but let her do it.

Grissom loved what she had done. It might have been his place she moved into, but Sara had made it their home not his or hers. Sara had just finished the last wall and bookshelf. It was finally done. She stood there, hands on her hips, looking at the wall with a satisfied grin on her face.

Grissom came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

"It looks great. Who knew these could look so good."

She leaned back into him, "You're not too mad about the bugs?"

"No," he kissed the back of her neck.

She shivered. That always drove her nuts and he knew it.

"Don't start something mister you can't finish. You have to go to the hospital to get Jim. He's being released today and you're his ride."

Grissom sighed, "I know. I wish we could invite some friends over to show off what you have done here."

"When the time is right we can. I'm not ready to share this yet. We both know what that means."

"I know."

They both knew that if it were discovered that they were dating one of them would have to move shifts. Neither of them wanted to do that.

"You better get going, Jim is waiting for you. He was grumping at the nurses yesterday so you know he will want to get out of there. He's been there for two weeks. I went shopping for him and stocked his refrigerator."

"He'll appreciate that."

"Tell him I'll come see him tomorrow."

Grissom grabbed his keys headed out the door. Sara gave him a kiss.

"I'll see you later. I'll have dinner waiting for you."

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye."

Sara watched him leave and went to the kitchen to begin dinner. They both had to work to night and it would be a long night.

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The summer passed and Grissom's birthday was coming up. Sara was trying to think up something for him. They would go to dinner for sure, but what to give him for a gift? He could buy himself anything he wanted.

Brass was coming back to work today. Grissom was hoping for a slow night. Grissom wanted to work with Sara that night but it was not to be.

Catherine and Grissom were called to a death at the Cirque du Soleil. A woman had been crushed to death. Sara and Warrick had been assigned a case of apparent suicide at the implosion party for Sam Braun's casino. Catherine could not take this case. Brass went with Warrick and Sara. Brass was interested in this case. It was another tangle with Sam Braun. Later at the station Brass was told he was getting a commendation. He really didn't want it but he was forced into it. The cases were progressing. It became apparent that it was a suicide.

A few days later Warrick and Sara were in the break room eating when Brass and the sheriff appeared on the nightly news.

Warrick saw how uncomfortable Brass looked, "Brass looks like he's about to puke."

Sara smirked, "Or punch someone."

Sara turned off the television. Just then Grissom walked in carrying two take out containers. He inwardly cringed because Warrick was there. He walked in and handed Sara her box.

"I got you a veggie burger."

Sara looked at him a bit surprised, "Thanks."

Warrick was pouting, "What about me?"

Grissom thought fast. "I didn't know you were here, soy sorry."

He shot Sara a look.

Warrick mumbled, "Where's the love?"

Sara locked eyes with Grissom and tried not to laugh. _If he only knew_ thought Sara as a sly grin split her face. Grissom made a hasty retreat as Sara began to eat. She and Warrick continued to discuss the case.

Later that day Sara found Grissom in his office.

"Thanks for lunch earlier."

"You're welcome. I was getting something for myself and thought you might like something too."

It was a sweet gesture and she did appreciate it. She also knew they had to be careful or someone would find out about them.

"Are you almost done?" she said.

He looked up from the paperwork he was doing and sighed.

"I'll be another hour at least. If you want to go, I'll catch up to you later."

"No, that's ok. I'll wait. I have a couple of things I need to check on with this case anyway. It looks like the partner had motivation for killing him after all. I need to look a few things up. I'll be in the AV lab when you are ready."

"OK."

She turned and walked out of his office.

A while later he came to find her working on the computer.

"Sara, you ready?"

"Uhhh, yeah, just give me five minutes to save this data and we can go."

"What did you find?"

"Joe and Robert were in debt to their eyeballs and were going under. The Eclipse project broke them. I think Robert took the coward's way out. I have a few more things to look up, but they can wait until tomorrow."

Sara proved that Robert had killed himself and was at the police department to give his personal effects to Joe. Sara watched him take the ring out of the bag and slip it into its matching ring and then back on his hand. She understood then the depth of that loss. They were more than business partners. They were lovers. She thought of losing Grissom. She told him she was sorry for his loss.

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They were called to the house of Izzy Delancy and aging rock star that was killed. He was found in his kitchen and a perfect half-inch scale model of the scene was found. The model was exact down to the blood, which belonged to the victim. This was a high profile case. There were those with motive to kill him. The perplexing part of this case was the miniature. Grissom spent hours investigating the house and the miniature. Sara was there with him, watching as he looked at the model from every angle. It both horrified and fascinated him. There was something about this. They had never seen anything like it and they had seen a lot over the years.

Sara's phone rang as she was investigating.

"Sidle"

"Sara, it's Catherine. I need to you meet me. I need your help. Please don't tell anyone."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, can you come?"

"I'll be right there. Where are you?"

Catherine gave her the address.

"It'll take me about 20 minutes."

"Thanks."

They hung up and Sara went to tell Grissom that she had to leave and that she had called in Greg to help him.

Grissom was so consumed by the model that he only grunted something about seeing her back at the lab when they were done. Sara was for once grateful for his ability to get distracted and consumed Sara met Catherine at the motel. Catherine explained what had happened or what she thought had happened. Sara was concerned for her friend. They had not been friends in the beginning and had had their issues over the years but they were indeed friends. She processed the room and took what she found back to the lab for Catherine. She felt uneasy about not talking to Grissom about this. She would not directly lie to him. So far he had not asked any questions. He as caught up in the miniature from the scene. She already knew this case would be one Grissom could not let go of that easily.

Sara met Catherine in the locker room. She looked around to see if anyone was looking as she began her conversation.

"Cath, you doing okay?"

Catherine sighed heavily, "I really don't know."

"I'm here if you need to talk."

"Thanks. And, Sara thanks for today. I appreciate you not telling anyone."

"About that. I think you should really tell Grissom."

"No, not until I know what happened."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Let me know what you find out."

"I will and thanks again."

Sara nodded her head as she turned to leave. She knew this was something Catherine should tell Grissom, but it was not her place to do that.

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The call came in that Catherine had been in an accident. Warrick was the first on the scene to help her. Lindsey had been taken and was being held for ransom.

Catherine finally told Grissom what happened and than the rape kit came back negative. All of this had to do with Sam Braun and his business dealings. It was because of the business dealings that Lindsey was taken. The team did find her in time.

Back at the lab they were processing the evidence to prove who took them and build the case.

Catherine went to see Sam.

Shots rang out and Sam was slain there in front of his casino while Catherine watched.

The graveyard shift was called in to process the case.

Grissom sent Catherine home once she was interviewed. Sam's bodyguard killed the suspect.

Catherine was left to deal with the funeral of her father. The team was there to help her through it. The service was a huge affair in Las Vegas. Sam was a part of Old Time Vegas. The wake afterwards was a private affair.

The team was there for that as well. It was held at Catherine's house. Grissom and Sara went together. While they drove there it was quiet. Both of them had lost parents and Sara had also watched her father die at the hands of another. She understood more than anyone else what Catherine was going through.

Grissom was the first to speak, "A penny for your thoughts."

Sara sighed, "I was just thinking about Catherine."

Grissom took her hand, "Anything else?"

He already knew the answer, but waited for her to answer.

"My dad. It's a hard thing to see your father killed, no matter what he was like or what he did. My father was abusive to me any my mother, but he was still my father. I loved him."

Her voice was wistful as she spoke of him. They had talked about that night before. They had never really talked about the abuse she had suffered at the hands of her father.

"Are you okay, Sara?"

"He would hit my mother and sometimes me, especially as I got older. I never got it as bad as my mother. For years I watched him beat her. She just took it. I never understood that. She killed him that night protecting me. I think she took it so I didn't have to."

Grissom let her talk.

"He had gotten drunk again and he got mad because dinner was late. I had been working on a science project for school and my mother was helping me. We lost track of time and dinner was delayed. He came home drunk and wanted his dinner. He started yelling at her, she yelled back and then it was all a blur. I came in and he started yelling at me. He went after me and then stopped. I wasn't sure why until I saw the blood hit the wall from the castoff."

This part of the story he had heard before.

"Sara, was it bad? What your father did to you?"

He wasn't sure how to ask. He couldn't speak the words. He'd asked that question hundreds of times from victims over the years, but this was Sara, his Sara. He wasn't sure he even wanted the answer to that question.

She understood what Grissom was asking.

"No, Gil he never…he only ever hit me."

Hearing that was what? He wasn't sure if it was a comfort, but at least there hadn't been sexual abuse.

"He shouldn't even have done that." It was barely a whisper.

She didn't know what to tell him, she just took his hand and squeezed it. He didn't like to think of Sara as a victim. But she had been for much of her childhood. The evidence of that came out during sleep. She still would have nightmares.

They pulled up to Catherine's and parked.

Grissom asked her, "You sure you want to go in there?"

"Yeah, we better."

Grissom wished he could hold her hand as they went in there, but that was not possible. It would have to wait until later.

Catherine was busy trying to keep everyone happy. Her mother was devastated. She and Sam had been building a relationship again over the years. It was on again off again, but they had always loved each other. The gathering was somber. Nobody knew quite what to say to Catherine. Slowly the group began to say goodbye and wander out. Grissom and Sara left to go home.

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Sara having a nightmare startled Grissom awake. It had been a while since she had one. She was thrashing and fighting against an imaginary enemy in her sleep.

"Sara….Sara…wake up honey."

She continued to fight off her attacker.

Grissom grabbed her arms and gently shook her awake.

"Sara! Wake up!"

Sara snapped awake still frightened by her dream. She pulled away until she realized where she was and whom she was with.

"Sara, it's just me."

"Gil…"

"Shhhh. I'm here."

He pulled her in close and held her until her breathing returned to normal.

"Honey, do you want to talk about it?"

"I haven't had a dream like that in a long time."

"I know. It's just everything that's happened."

"I remember you said that the mind has its filters."

He stroked her hair as she talked.

"I remember."

"It's hard to remember what is real and what is not."

Grissom understood she had been struggling with this for a long time. He also knew that she needed to talk to her mother to get the answers she wanted. There wasn't anyone else who could answer them for her. He had asked her a while back if she wanted to contact her mother and she said no.

"Sara, there is one person who could answer these questions for you."

"No, Gil. I can't talk to her. I…it's just too hard."

"Okay."

Grissom lay back down on the bed and pulled Sara down with him.

She laid her against his chest. She could hear the reassuring thump of his heart. It comforted her to hear that. She knew this is where she belonged. This is the one place she felt safe. Facing the past and the ghosts who lived there was just too difficult. She pushed them back into the recesses of her mind. Soon Grissom heard her breathing become slow and regular. He knew she was asleep. He soon followed her into sleep, for now pushing the ghosts of his own past away as well.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: There is dialogue from Toe Tags in here.**

**I don't own them, dang wish I did. **

**Slight smut alert.**

The weeks went by with ease. Grissom and Sara had settled into a routine. Catherine had returned to work saying it helped. She seemed okay, but sad. Sara had less nightmares and Grissom worried less about her. The miniature had begun to consume his extra time. He looked at it every way possible. There had to be a clue, there just did. The picture of the bloody doll had to mean something, but what?

Grissom's phone rang. It was Brass.

"Grissom."

"Hey, Gil, I have a call out for you. Sorry it's so close to the end of shift. It's a messy one."

Grissom sighed, "Okay, we'll be there soon. What's the address?"

Brass gave him the particulars and they hung up.

He found Sara working in the layout room and asked her to come with him.

"Hey, you up for some overtime?"

"Whatcha got?"

"Double murder. Brass just called."

"You and me?"

"Yep."

She smiled, "I'll get my case."

Grissom smiled back, "I'll call the dog sitter."

They found the address and parked. Brass met them in the driveway and gave them the particulars. Two bodies were in the garage cut up. Blood was everywhere. A chainsaw sat on the floor. There was cut up furniture everywhere. This was a bit surprising for even Grissom and Sara. Both removed their sunglasses.

Sara quipped, "I thought is only happened in the movies."

Grissom added, "Life imitates art."

Both of then knew this was going to be a long scene. They headed in to start their processing.

Grissom began taking photographs and Sara began fingerprinting. There was blood spatter everywhere. Death by chainsaw was a messy affair.

Grissom was taking photos of the blood on the ceiling when he asked Sara to talk it through.

"Okay. You first."

"Alright. Kicked-in door, one bloody chainsaw, two dead bodies. Someone broke in, cut up the two guys, left the murder weapon and split."

Grissom looked around at the cut up furniture.

"What about all this mess, the furniture and appliances?"

Sara thinks for a minute.

"Some of the furniture looks new. Some of it's cut up, some of it's not…..Maybe they were cutting it up when the assailant came in."

She walked around the room as she was thinking.

Grissom said, "That's a workable theory for now."

They went back to work.

Sara smiled, "You know what this reminds me of? The first time we met. San Francisco. Your lecture. Double murder in a garage. I'd heard you were a little… dull as a speaker, but you can't rely on your first blush."

She stopped a moment.

"That was the, uh, subject of your talk."

"I believe I said first opinions are crucial, but if the evidence changes, so must the theory."

She smiled at him. He did remember everything. He once accused her of recording everything he said, but he was the one with the great memory. He could recall the slightest details of conversations, quotes, or crime scenes. Sara found it endearing most of the time, except when he used it against her, but that was rare.

Brass walked in just then before she could tease him anymore.

"Hey, any ID on them yet?"

Grissom said, "We're still working our way in."

"Well, you know, I'm kinda stuck until I know who they are, so, uh….Sara, do me a favor, will you? Reach into that barbecue and hand me his wallet."

"Sure."

She got up and carefully stepped over the blood and retrieved the wallet from his pocket. It was not the owner of the house.

"This guy doesn't live here. This is Ray Gaynor, lives a few houses down."

Grissom looked at him.

Sara pointed at the other one, "Maybe the other one's Lou."

Brass quipped, "I don't know, but I'd bet my right arm that's his left."

Grissom rolled his eyes and Sara stifled a laugh.

"I'm gonna see if the one-armed man has a wife that knows how to operate a chainsaw." Brass commented as he walked out of the garage.

Grissom and Sara went back to processing the scene. Dave came and took the bodies back to the morgue. It had been a long morning and it was pushing noon when Grissom and Sara finally finished and were on their way back to the lab. They were both tired. Sara rested her head against the headrest as Grissom drove.

"Sara, do you want to get something to eat before we head home?"

"I just want to crawl into bed."

"You need to eat more you know."

"Yeah, I know."

"We can just get something and take it home then."

"Fine, whatever." She yawned.

When they reached the lab they logged in the evidence and headed home. On the way home they stopped to get something to eat. Sara agreed to a deli sandwich and some pasta salad. They took it home and ate.

Sara started a conversation, "So, how is it you remember that talk from the conference? Do you remember all of your lectures?"

"I remember that one because of you. You were sitting in the front row. Your smile made me lose my thought for a moment."

Sara smiled, "Really?"

"You do that to me all the time. I have just gotten better at hiding it." It was his turn to smile.

"Well I can think of better ways to get you to lose your thoughts there Dr. Grissom."

Sara gave him a coy smile and raised her eyebrows at him.

He returned the smile and contemplated that thought. It was only a few hours until they were due back at work, but he liked her train of thought.

"Care to join me in a shower, Dear?"

"Don't mind if I do."

They walked to the bathroom. There Sara turned and kissed Grissom. She began undressing him. He kissed her but slowed things down a bit. He wanted to enjoy this. He found the spot on her neck that always greeted him with a moan of pleasure. He then slowly pulled her shirt over her head and trailed kisses down her chest until he reached her bra which he removed with one hand.

Sara laughed, "You're better at that now."

He murmured into her neck, "Practice makes perfect."

Sara smiled and leaned into the kisses Grissom was laying along her body. She was tired but not that tired. Grissom turned on the shower and got the water to the right temperature and finished undressing both of them.

He pulled them both in. The spray of the water felt so good. Sara stood with her back to Grissom. Grissom turned his attention once again to Sara's neck. She took the sponge and lathered it up as she turned around and began washing his chest. His arousal throbbed against her thigh.

He took her face in both hands and kissed her.

"You are so beautiful."

She never got used to hearing that. She never thought of herself as beautiful. She knew Grissom did not think himself handsome either, but in her eyes he was. Those eyes that she loved so much stared her directly into her. It was an act of intimacy as much as lust. He wanted her.

"Sara…"

She kissed him this time and then she leaned in to let him know she wanted him. He caressed one breast as he took the other in his lips. She moaned her pleasure as she ran her fingers though his hair.

"That feels so good."

He ran his hand down her belly and found her folds. She was ready for him. He lifted her up and pinned her against the shower wall. She wrapped her legs around him as she lowered herself on to him. Grissom moaned into her hair as he felt her warmth envelope him. They began a slow movement that built as their need for release did. Sara felt her climax break first. Grissom was not far behind.

He lowered her back to her feet as they caught their breath.

Grissom whispered into her ear, "Thank you. I needed to feel you."

"The pleasure was mine."

He kissed her nose, "I think we can call it a tie."

"Come on let's get some sleep we have to be back to the lab in 9 hours."

"Don't remind me."

Sleep was quick in coming. They rested snuggled against each other.

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Grissom was sitting at his desk staring at the miniature again when Sara walked in.

"Still looking at that?"

"Yeah, there has to be something here. I can feel it."

"Obsessing over it isn't going to make that answer come any easier you know."

"I'm not obsessed."

Sara half snorted, "Yeah, right."

Grissom shot her a drop it now look so she did. She knew him well enough to know he was not in the mood to talk about it now. She changed the subject.

"Are those students from the university coming today?"

"Yeah they should be here soon. I'm going to walk them through the lab and show them what this job it really like. See if they have the stuff to do the job."

"Well, don't take any blood or make them eat chocolate covered grasshoppers. They aren't newbies yet."

Grissom grinned at her. He knew what she was referring to.

"I promise to play nice….for now."

Sara handed Grissom the report folder she had been carrying.

"Here's the report on the Gaynor/Beltran case. Remind me to never break up with you. I don't want to wind up like that."

"Funny."

"Do you want some help with the college kids?"

"No, I can handle it. It'll be fun to teach again. None of you need me anymore. New minds to teach will be fun."

Sara gave him a sultry look, "Gil, I will always need you."

He shot her a raised eyebrow look, but appreciated the double meaning.

He sighed as he put the miniature away again. It would have to wait until later. There were other things to do right now.

"I need to head over to the morgue. The students are meeting me there. We are going to start in autopsy. If they can handle that, they can handle anything. And I promise to play nice."

"I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah."

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Grissom sighed, "Nothing."

"Yes there is. I know that look. You look….tired." She knew that wasn't the right word, but it was the only one she could come up with at the moment.

"Sara, I'm fine. I'm actually looking forward to teaching again. I miss that. I have always considered myself to be a teacher. It'll be nice to get back to that even if it's only for a little while. Don't worry about me. I'm just fine."

She wished they weren't at work so she could pull him close. She still wasn't convinced that he was fine. She knew something was off. Her guess was that it was the miniature case. He hated not being able to solve a crime. And one like this was even worse. They had no idea what the miniature was about or who built it. She paused a moment longer before she walked over to cup his cheek.

"Okay. I'll see you at home."

He placed his hand over hers and kissed her palm.

She whispered, "I love you."

"I know, and I love you too."

"Bye."

She walked out the door, but not before she looked back over her shoulder to give him one last glance.

He was lost again in reading the file she had just given him so he could sign it off.

She sighed and went to pick Hank up from the sitters.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. I love reviews so please leave one. We are headed to a bit of darkness but nothing too bad. The smut was for Sarah across the pond. Hope you enjoyed. As always thanks for reading.**


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: There is dialogue from Fannysmackin' in this one. This is a hard one to watch. Poor Greggo.

**I don't own them or Greg would not have taken that beating. **

**Thanks to Kasey for the assistance. Love ya!!!**

October came uneasily into Las Vegas. There were still tourists, but the natives were restless. In a parking structure a dishwasher from one of the big hotels was beaten to death. The scene was a bloody mess when Grissom and Catherine met Brass there. There was not a lot to go on for the moment. Brass left to talk to the victim's boss. Just as he did there was a flurry of activity another beating had just occurred a few blocks away. Grissom watched as they left and went back to work. He made a mental note to check the specifics later. Tow beating occurring that close together in time and location maybe there was a connection. He sighed. It was going to be a long night.

Grissom called and sent Sara to the hospital to take pictures and interview the second victim. She had survived, but was badly injured.

"Sara, I need you to go the hospital to process the beating victim from Nick and Warrick's scene. I think theirs and mine might be related. We need to get some information from her if possible."

"I'm on my way."

"I'll see you back at the lab. I think this is going to be a long night."

"See you there."

Grissom headed back to get working on what he had collected. Catherine came back from autopsy on the first victim and filled Grissom in about the toenail she found in the victim's mouth. At least it was something to go on. Right now there wasn't much else.

Grissom stopped Greg in the hall and gave him an assignment and then went to find Sara. He found her in the layout room. She was kicking a dummy that was lying on the floor. She was sweaty from the effort. Her coveralls were half off and tied around her waist and she was wearing a white tank top. Grissom found himself watching her for a moment. He was admiring the view. Even when she was beating a test dummy she was sexy. He broke the spell before he had an embarrassing reaction. She could do that to him.

"Whoa, pick on someone your own size."

She turned around to face him

"Are you volunteering?" She smiled at him.

He looked at her and raised an eyebrow, "No"

"The two scenes are related. I found two common treads on both vics: an athletic shoe and a boot. I ran them through the Solemate Database. The athletic shoe is a converse Chuck Taylor and the boot is a Doc Marten."

Grissom looked at the shirt.

"Could that be a woman's shoe?" as he pointed to one of the shoeprints.

"I ran that through the Solemate Database too. That is a Steve Madden Dynasti Stiletto. Open toe shoe."

" 'Cause Catherine found a broken female toenail in the vic mouth."

"Most of the treads are on the sides and back of the victim's clothing."

"Which suggests that they were on the ground for most of the beating."

"Kicked to death."

Grissom nodded.

Sara asked, "Are we any closer to knowing who they are?"

"No. I just sent Greg out on a possible sighting of them at a robbery."

A few minutes later the call came out that there was an officer down. Greg had been sent to a scene a few blocks from the second beating. Along the way he witnessed a beating in progress. He called it in and tried to stop the beating. He was dragged from his car and beaten badly. Grissom went to find Sara.

"Sara, Greg's been hurt"

"What happened?" There was alarm in her voice.

"The call just came in. He was apparently beaten by the mob that has been doing this all night. He ran into the mob again and tried to stop them. He ran one of them over."

"Where is he?"

Grissom gave her the address.

"Do you want to process?" Grissom knew they had always been close. He also knew that at one point Greg had a crush on Sara.

"I'm on my way."

"Hey, you okay?"

"We need to stop these guys."

"I know."

"I'm going to Greg now. I'll call you later."

She hurried to the scene.

Grissom watched her go. He knew Greg would be in good hands. He would go by the hospital later to check on him. Right now Grissom just wanted to stop these guys. He'd made the observation that their behavior was like that of a swarm of insects.

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Sara arrived at the scene and spoke to Sophia for a moment. She learned that Greg was stable and would survive.

She knelt beside him. She brushed his hair back. Greg's face was bloodied and swollen. His eyes were swollen shut.

Greg whispered, "Sara…"

"I didn't think you could see me."

"I can't…but I know that Sidle scent."

Sara's heart ached for him.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment."

Greg held up one hand.

"I scratched one of them."

Sara took his hand, but was careful not to touch any potential evidence.

"And you should take my vest. I think the same guy s-spit on me."

Sara was trying not to cry.

Greg continued, "And one of their cars crashed into the Denali. I guarantee there's transfer on it."

Sara was beginning to fail at holding back the tears.

"You should process the scene now. Me later."

"I came here for you, Greg"

Greg was trying to stay awake, but it was hard. He was in pain. He finally gave in. Sara stayed with him.

The ambulance came to pick him up a few minutes later and took him to the hospital. Sara rode with him. He looked vulnerable. Once along the way he woke up.

"Sara, you still here?"

"Yes, Greg, I'm here. We're almost to the hospital."

He slightly nodded and was silent again.

The ambulance pulled up to the emergency entrance and Greg was whisked away. Sara was left to wait in the waiting room. Grissom showed up about an hour later with coffee for her.

"Hey, how's Greg?" he said as he handed her the cup.

"I haven't heard yet. The doctor is with him now."

"Can you please collect the evidence from Demetrius James?"

He knew work would get her mind off of things.

She nodded, "Yeah. You gonna wait here? Have Greg's parents been called yet?"

" No not yet. I wanted to have something to tell them first."

"Okay."

"I'll call you the minute I hear something. I know you two are close."

"He looks so bad, Gil." Sara's voice cracked.

"He's in good hands, honey." He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. It would have to do for now.

Work would be good she thought.

"Where's Demetrius James now?"

"In surgery. The emergency room doctor collected the clothes he was wearing. Go get those and get them back to the lab. Maybe there will be something that can help."

Sara nodded and turned to leave. She looked back over her shoulder. Grissom sat down and sighed. She knew that he cared about his team. They had created a family with him at the head. She knew it was hard on him. She would do whatever she could to catch these guys.

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Grissom called Sara and told her that they had moved Greg to his room. There was no permanent damage done, but he would have bruises. He had a concussion, but nothing was broken. He gave her his room number and told her to meet him there.

Grissom was just walking out when Sara found him. She had the evidence her hands.

"Hey… doctor found these on Demetrius James."

She held up a jar that contained a pair of contact lenses.

Grissom look at them, "Contact lenses?"

"Special kind. They are called Halloween lenses. They're wearing costumes."

Grissom was pissed, "Great. Just a game to them."

Sara was angry as well. This game was costing people their lives and injuring others.

"I want to go see Greg and then get this back to the lab. Can you wait and hang on to it for me?"

"Sure. He's really tired, don't stay too long."

"I won't"

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The team figured out who had done this and set up a sting. They proved that it was a game that a group of kids were playing because they were bored. The whole thing was very disturbing. They also learned that Demetrius James had died at the hospital.

The team was in the locker room at the end of shift the next day.

Sara closed her locker, "I am going to pick up some Roberto's, take it over to Greg. I'm sure he's sick of that hospital food…anybody want to come?"

Warrick winced, "I'll take a ride with you, but I am going to pass on the Mexican food at 10:00 in the morning."

Nick chuckled, "No, but I'd like to see Greg. I'm definitely in, yeah."

Just then Catherine walked in.

She announced, "Pig and the piglets are in the pigpen."

Warrick quipped, "It's about time. Finally, some good news."

Catherine explained, "Did you know that Pig, aka Cole Tritt, was the only adult? The rest of them were under 18. One was 14."

Warrick was shocked, "Are you kidding? Who raises these kids?"

Catherine responded, "I mean, they weren't all delinquents, Demetrius James was a college student."

Nick shook his head, "Hanging out with the wrong crowd, in the wrong town…I'm telling you, a fake ID in Las Vegas is like having a free ride on the Hell train. Sex, drugs, gambling, no adult supervision, 24/7. By the time they're 21 they've done and seen it all."

Catherine had a rather sobering though, "Make me slit my wrists, why don't you? I'm raising a teenager here."

Warrick reassured her, "Oh you're doing a great job. Lindsey's gonna turn out to be a beautiful young woman. Besides, I grew up in Vegas, I didn't turn out so bad, did I?"

Nick shook his head again, "That was pre-Mirage, back when you were a little squirt going to the casinos to play the arcade games….No Vegas is a different animal now."

Warrick added, "Yeah these kids need to beat people on the street to be entertained. They just need some good discipline. They need their grandmother whupping their ass, like I had."

Nick agreed, "Yeah, a good slap."

Sara joined the conversation, "You know. It kinda sounds like you guys are blaming everybody but these kids. I mean, you don't get a bye because you grew up here or your parents are on drugs. Those kids are perfectly capable of telling the difference from a wild night out and…beating someone to death."

Grissom supported what Sara was saying, "The truth is, a moral compass can only point you in the right direction, can't make you go there. Our culture preaches that, uh, you shouldn't be ashamed of anything you do anymore. And unfortunately, this city was built on the principle that there's no such thing as guilt. "Do whatever you want, we won't tell." So without a conscience, there's nothing to stop you from killing someone. And evidently you don't even have to feel bad about it."

The team was silent after that. They were all wrapped up in their thoughts. One by one they began to leave.

Nick said, "I'll wait for you guys in the parking garage. I'm going to drive myself."

Warrick nodded, "Be right there."

Catherine sighed, "I think I am going to go home and sleep until I have to pick up Lindsey. It's been a long day. I'll go see Greg this evening."

Grissom and Sara said good night to her and were left alone in the locker room.

Sara filled the silence, "Are you going to come with us?"

"No, not now. I need to pick up Hank. You go. I'll see you later."

"You sure then?"

"Yeah, I'll go see him later again. He didn't want me to call his parents. Didn't want to worry them."

"You look tired."

"I am. This job gets harder and harder to do."

Sara knew he was tired, but she had never heard him talk like this before. It worried her a bit. Maybe he would feel better after some sleep.

"Okay then, I'll see you at home."

"Sure."

She wanted more than anything at that point to be able to kiss him goodbye. They both needed it. But that was not to be right now.

**A/N: And so begins the burn out.**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:**

**Dialogue from Double Cross is included. I loved the scene between Grissom and Sara in the autopsy room so I included it. It's my story I can do that. **

**I don't own them. **

Greg had been released from the hospital a few days later. He was battered and bruised but would recover. He was supposed to be limited to Lab duty, but he was becoming quickly bored. He had wanted to leave the lab for the field years ago. Now he remembered why. Even though the lab was safer, it was boring. He liked the excitement. A week after he returned he got Grissom to agree to send him back into the field on a limited basis.

Grissom and Brass had been called to a death in a church. Neither was ready for a crucifixion in a Catholic church. Greg and Catherine were called out to do the perimeter and get the clothes from the priest. Nick and Warrick were in charge of getting the body down. Sara was put in charge of processing the body once they got back to the lab.

Grissom walked into the morgue and found her processing the body. She was scraping the fingernails. She found some thorns in her feet. The door opened. She didn't need to turn around she recognized the footsteps.

"Was there bougainvillea at the crime scene?"

Grissom stopped and thought for a moment, picturing the scene.

"Two shrubs at the entrance to the church, a row of four on the wall of the community center, three bushes behind the rectory adjacent to the statue of St Jude."

Sara smirked, "Did you anticipate that question in order to impress me with your powers of observation?"

"Memory is a gift."

"Hummmm. From whom?"

"Who do you think?"

Sara smiled, "Well, I wouldn't necessarily call myself an atheist, but I am not sold on the notion of a higher power. However, I used to love the stories of the saints."

Grissom noticed something on the victim, it was familiar, "This job certainly challenges your faith."

"Yes it does, but I have science."

"I believe we a little of both.

Grissom was thinking. He was looking at the bruises on the victim's neck. He knew he was looking at something important.

Sara continued, "Sometimes I think we made up God just to have someone to blame for our mistakes."

Grissom said nothing. His mind was working on the puzzle of the bruises. Then it hit him. He knew what it was! He bolted from the room without telling Sara why or where he was going.

Dumbfounded she called after him. "It's just a theory."

She shook her head and went back to work. Typical Grissom she thought. He would tell her when he was ready. Then she began to wonder if she had offended him. She knew he grew up Catholic and that he believed in God. He told her that once, but they had never really talked about religion or their beliefs on the subject. It nagged at her a bit. For all the time together, she was still nervous about their relationship. It could be snatched away at any time. One wrong step and, Poof, it would be gone. Her logical brain said that was not going to happen, but the other side had seen him retreat too many times for it not to nag at her once in a while

Grissom had gone to his office. He knew what he was looking for. He opened the top side drawer of his desk. From there he retrieved a small red box. It was buried under the other stuff. Then he headed back to the morgue. It never occurred to him to call Sara or to tell her where he was going. He was lost in the moment. He put his lab coat on again and headed back in with Sara.

"Something I said?"

"No, Dear." He answered absent mindedly.

She looked up at him, "I didn't offend, you did I? Did I say something offensive as a catholic?"

"I'm not really a catholic anymore you know. I suppose I practice a kind of secular Catholicism that involves ritualizing certain aspects of everyday life and then viewing them a spiritual intensity they might not otherwise posses, I don't want to put too fine a point on it."

He opened the box and pulled out a rosary.

Sara smiled, "And the rosary beads are a part of that."

"This belonged to my mother."

He placed the rosary along the bruises on the victim's neck.

"Take a look at this pattern."

Sara leaned in placing her chin on his arm. It matched. She reached for her camera and snapped pictures. Grissom explained the rosary to Sara. She knew how important his mother was to him and that having a memento of her was Grissom's way of remembering her.

"Five series of ten beads each, representing the five mysteries, separated by five our father beads."

"Who would strangle someone with a rosary?"

"Probably the same person who would crucify someone in a church."

"That takes some serious hatred."

"Yeah."

She asked him a question she had wanted to ask earlier.

"Does it upset you that I don't believe the same way you do?"

"No, Sara, it doesn't."

There was some relief in that. He would not lie to her. This was one of those times she wanted to reach out to him. Her eyes locked with his. He took her hand.

"Sara, really, it's fine."

"Okay."

"I have to go back to the church. I need to collect the rosaries."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, finish her and I will see you later."

"Sure."

"You okay?"

Sara smiled, "Fine."

He knew her well enough to know when she said fine, she wasn't.

"Really, Gil, I'm okay. Go do what you need to do. I'll finish up here."

"Okay."

"Looks like we're pulling a double."

"Yeah, I'll check in with you when you get back."

He left to go to the church. While he was gone they got an ID on the woman, Charlotte Danville. Sophia and Catherine went to her apartment and found a broken rosary. There were signs of struggle. They also came back with the suspicion that Charlotte was pregnant. They found proof that Charlotte knew the Father and the car dealer the Big Hombre for a long time. There had been some dispute as to if they knew each other.

When Sophia and Catherine got back they checked in with Sara who took the rosary to Grissom.

Grissom came back with several rosaries from the church. Sara had finished processing the body and was waiting in Grissom's office for him.

He came in to find her working on paper work.

"Are you bucking to be the boss?"

Her head snapped up. She had not heard him come in.

"No way. I hear the boss is a tyrant."

He smiled. Sara had not seen that smile in a while.

"What did you find?"

"I got three rosaries from the Church. I had an interesting conversation with Fr. Frank."

"What about?"

"He's hiding something. I just don't know what."

"You'll figure it out."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Are you okay?"

It was Sara's turn to ask.

Grissom sighed, "I remember the first case we worked after the Gribbs case when you came to Vegas."

"The one with the woman in the crate?"

Grissom nodded.

"You said something then that I keep thinking about?"

Sara could not remember anything she might have said that he would remember now.

"What was that?"

"It never ceases to amaze me what people do to each other."

Hearing him talk like that was worrisome to Sara.

"Gil, I…"

He cut her off, "I'm gonna go process these."

He turned and walked out of the room. Sara decided not to push it now. His headaches had been happening more frequently of late. He had one a month and recently more like one every two weeks. It was a sign he was stressed.

He printed the pictures of Charlotte's bruises to compare it to the one's he collected. He was in the layout room looking at them when Sara came back and handed him the one from Charlotte's apartment.

"Hey, I got another rosary for your collection"

"Where'd you get this?"

"Catherine found it in Charlotte's condo. There's some evidence the fight started there. Charlotte's bag and phone were on the table so she left in a hurry."

Grissom took the broken rosary out of the bag and held it up next to the other one. It was identical.

Sara noticed they were the same, "Are those Father Frank's?"

Grissom seemed disappointed, "Yeah."

"What are you going to do?"

"Call Brass."

There were many pictures of Fr Frank and Charlotte with Cody White in High School. It appeared they went back a long way.

It was a match to Fr. Frank's. It was sequentially numbered. It was enough for Brass to bring in Fr. Frank. Grissom was not convinced that he did it. The reaction Fr Frank had to seeing Charlotte's body did not slip past Grissom. He knew there was more to the story than they knew at the moment. Brass wanted to bring him in to talk to him. Brass was convinced that he did it. Father Frank even said he killed her.

Grissom and Brass had words about it in the parking lot. Grissom still did not believe that Fr. Frank killed Charlotte.

Grissom was bent on finding the truth and he was convinced he did not yet know the real story. He headed back to the lab to see what he could find. They did discover that Charlotte was pregnant. They were not sure who the father was. It was determined that there were two semen donors on her sheets.

Sara and Catherine found blood in the car she was driving. They matched the bloody footprint to Cody White.

Fr Frank was shown pictures of Charlotte hanging on the cross and was horrified. He said he was responsible but could never do that to her.

Grissom and Fr. Frank had a conversation about his relationship with Charlotte. Grissom asked about the letter saying he was leaving the Church. He also asked about the baby not being his. Fr. Frank said he would welcome a child no matter what. Brass and Grissom were trying to get him to tell them who killed Charlotte. He could not.

They brought in Cody White.

Sophia got Cody White to say he killed her. Then she told him that the baby Charlotte was carrying was his. He was devastated. He had killed her because of her relationship with Frank.

Sara arrived home to find Grissom sitting in the dark. He looked tired. Sara knew they had just worked a double but this was more than a double shift.

"Gil, what's wrong?"

He didn't answer at first. She asked again.

He sighed, "How do we do this job? We see the worst in people every day. I just talked to a man who had to forgive the killer of the woman he loved because it was the mandate of his job. I don't know if I could do that."

"Gil, you are a good man."

He shrugged.

Sara sat down beside him. It was apparent he was struggling with things at the moment. It was the classic signs of burn out. They all knew the warning signs. She was worried. Grissom burning out was never something that crossed her mind.

"I don't feel useful anymore."

"I need you." She whispered.

Grissom took her hand and kissed her palm.

"I know. I need you too."

"Do you need to take a break from the lab? Take a vacation?"

"I don't know what I want to do." He sighed and stood up pulling her up with him.

"Come on let's get something to eat. How about omelets?"

"You cooking?"

"Yep"

"Sounds great."

They prepared their meal in quiet and ate with little conversation. Grissom was thinking. Sara was used to that and just let him think. He needed to do that.

Sara caressed his cheek, "Go take your shower. I'll clean up. It's only fair, you cooked."

He smiled and kissed the palm of her hand.

Sara cleaned up the mess as Grissom headed to the bedroom. He took a long shower and was getting dressed when Sara came in.

"Feel better?"

He nodded slightly.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to take a shower. I'm beat. We have to be back to the lab in 10 hours."

Grissom said absent-mindedly, "No rest for the weary I guess."

Sara feigned a smile and headed for the shower. When she returned Grissom was asleep on the bed. His soft steady breathing was a relief to Sara. At least he was sleeping. It was something he was having trouble doing lately. Work was always the reason he gave. She hoped that was all. She climbed into bed and snuggled against him. His arm instinctually came around her to pull her close. Sara drifted off to sleep a short while later.

A few hours passed when Sara was jolted awake by Grissom running for the bathroom. She could her him vomiting. She knew what that meant. Migraine. She went in to see if he needed anything. He waved her off as he emptied his stomach. She handed him a wet washcloth when he was done. Then she handed him a glass of water and his medicine. He took it.

"Is it bad?"

All he could do was nod.

Sara helped him back to the bed.

"Sara…"

"Shhhh, let the medicine work."

He nodded again and let sleep come once more.

When he woke a few hours later Sara was gone. He went in search of her. He found her reading on the couch.

She looked up when she heard him, "Feeling better?"

"A little."

"Are you going to work?"

"I have to. I have worked through them before."

"Gil, you should stay home."

"Not that bad."

She didn't believe him. The pain was written on his face.

"Gil, stay home. Get well."

"I'll be fine, really. It's almost time to go in. I'm going to get dressed."

Sara sighed. She knew she would not win the argument. He'd already made up his mind.

**A/N:**

**Please leave a review. I finally have my computer back so the updates should be more frequent. I am trying. **


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: This contains Dialogue from Burn Out.

Still not mine. But it's fun to take them out and play once in a while.

Smut alert.

Grissom walked into the lab to hand out assignments. He was not feeling much better. His head was still killing him. He gave Nick and Sara an arson case. He took the missing kids. Brass noticed how bad he looked.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Gil? You look like shit."

Grissom grunted, "Migraine."

"Go lie down in my office. I'll come find you when we're ready to start."

He nodded and headed for Brass' office. He closed the blinds and lay down on the couch.

About 45 minutes later Brass was calling Grissom's name from the doorway.

"Gil, I hate to wake you, but we are ready to start."

Grissom pulled himself to a sitting position.

"I'll be right there."

"You sure you're up to this?"

"Yeah"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and stood. The world was tilting a bit but he would make it. He had no choice.

"We're in the briefing room."

"Coming."

Brass had briefed the task force about the missing boys. Grissom was sitting in the back when Nick texted him that their cases might be related. He sighed and left the briefing to go see Nick.

"Okay, so what does your arson have to do with my missing kids?"

Nick explained, "Upon initial search of the premises, the firemen located one adult male, unconscious on the living room floor. His name's Carl Fisher. The paramedics got him on the bumper now. Once he came around, he started claiming every time there's an Amber alert, somebody tries to kill him."

"Child molester."

"Tier Two, by his own admission."

Grissom cocked his head and walked over to see Fisher. He was on the bumper of the ambulance being treated for burns. He had no shoes and was getting his hands wrapped.

"Excuse me Mr. Fisher, my name's Gil Grissom. I'm with the Crime Lab. What happened to your shoes?"

"They were in the house. I was asleep."

"Are you familiar with the names Lucas Hanson or Jason Crowley?"

"The kids from the Amber Alert? No, sir. I'm a convicted pedophile. That would be a violation of my parole."

Grissom was not in the mood to mess around.

"Which is it, boys or girls?"

"Boys, preteen…I know what you're thinking."

"No, you don't"

He walked away. His head was still killing him and he really didn't want to hear a song and dance.

Carl Fisher was taken to the hospital. Grissom was on his way there to process him.

Sara called him.

"Hey, how's the head?"

"It hurts."

"I saw you at the scene."

"Yeah, Nick called me. I'm on my way to the hospital to process Carl Fisher now."

"You have your medicine with you?"

"Yes. You guys almost done with the scene?"

"No, it's going to be a long night. I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine, Sara."

She sighed. She really didn't want to get into it with him now. It would not be productive.

"Okay, well, I better get back to work. Call me later?"

"Sure. Be careful."

"Oh you can worry, but not me?" She teased him.

"Haha, I'll talk to you later."

They hung up. Grissom went in to process Fisher. Brass was already in the room with him. Brass had a gut instinct about this guy. Brass's guts were rarely wrong. There was just something not quite right. Neither of them could put a finger on it. He wanted to talk to them.

It was a frustrating case. Time was against them. The longer they were gone the less chance of finding them alive. Grissom new that. He sensed that Carl Fisher wanted something from him as well.

Grissom talked to him some. Then he went back to the lab. He was not in the mood to play games. They could not match shoe impressions.

He head was still killing him. The loud music from the lab went searing through his head in painful jolts.

Greg and Sara were looking at the evidence found at the scene and in the car.

Grissom stormed over to the player and turned it off.

"Didn't we talk about this once before, Greg?"

Sara jumped in, "I'm the one who turned the music on."

She stared him down. Grissom backed off.

"What have you found?"

Greg answered, "A gas container. As the heat melted the plastic it formed pockets, trapping the gasoline inside and if Hodges can isolate any unique compounds from the gas…you know like gas DNA…"

"Gasoline comparisons are only creditable if you have pure samples otherwise there's too many variables."

"I know that, Grissom. What I've extracted was never exposed directly to the fire, so if we can identify either a dye or a unique compound and match it to a particular station then we might be able to prove whether Carl set the fire…I'll get this to Hodges."

Greg left and Grissom turned to Sara. She didn't turn around.

Grissom knew Greg was right. He also knew he was not doing his best thinking.

Sara started, "Greg's got the coroner's inquest coming up. He's been under a lot of stress. Maybe you could be a little nicer to him."

He knew Sara was right about that too.

"I just want to find these boys."

"Okay. Carl Fisher apparently eats and drinks in the backseat of his car." She held up a melted plastic cup, "I found it in the seat pocket if his car."

There was a red liquid dried inside the cup.

Grissom theorized, "Fruit Punch?"

"Or a mixer." Sara held up a cap from a bottle, "Whiskey. I did not find the bottle."

"And…so…."

Sara held up a napkin with mushrooms and pizza sauce, "Mushrooms picked off a cheese pizza. I found it stuffed between the cushions in the backseat of the car. If you are an adult and you don't like mushrooms, you don't order them."

"No, you don't. Fisher has some explaining to do."

He rubbed his temples.

"Head still hurt?"

"Yeah."

"Have you taken your medicine?"

"Yes, Dear."

She smiled at him.

"Why don't you go lie down in your office? I'll come get you when we know something?"

"I need to talk to Fisher."

Grissom knew Fisher was lying, but he could not prove it yet. He needed to talk to him again. Fisher wanted to talk to him again as well. Brass called just then.

"Grissom"

"Hi, Gil. Fisher wants to talk to you at the PD."

"I'll be there in a few minutes. I have some questions for Mr. Fisher."

CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI

Grissom talked with Carl Fisher. He showed him some pictures. Carl identified some of them men in the pictures but did not feel that any of them were the suspect they were looking for. He wanted to tell Grissom something, but what. It was like a dance. Grissom was not in the mood to dance. His headache was still pounding in his skull. He had not eaten all shift for fear of losing it. Water and coffee were the only things he managed to consume. Grissom didn't really care that Carl Fisher had been abused as a child. He already knew most offenders had been abused. He was beginning to think Carl wanted to be seen as a kind of hero here. He was not sure. He continued to talk. Grissom was jarred by the beeping of his phone. He had a text message.

It was from Warrick. They found a dead child.

Grissom's heart sank.

Carl Fisher watched Grissom's body language and realized that something was up. He asked, but Grissom stared at him with hard eyes.

Grissom stepped out of the room for moment to call Warrick.

"Warrick, what do you have?"

"Griss, it's Lucas Hanson. Mother confirmed ID. We found him buried at a golf course. We're looking now for Jason."

Grissom sighed heavily, "Thanks, keep me informed."

Grissom knew if the suspect killed one he probably killed the other one as well. He headed back in to talk to Fisher again. He didn't tell him they had found Lucas just yet. He wanted to see where Fisher was going with all of this. Grissom was losing his patience a bit. He continued to talk to Fisher. His head was pounding. He didn't dare take his migraine medication or he would be asleep. He took to Tylenol and went back in. It was tiresome, but he wanted to find the other boy. He finally told Fisher they had found Lucas' body. Fisher showed little reaction, but to ask where the other one was. Grissom thought this was telling, but continued to play the game.

It was a few hours later when they found Jason on a bus headed for Texas. Grissom confronted Fisher and placed him in a lineup. Jason would not say that it was Fisher that had hurt Lucas. They had charged Fisher with arson.

Grissom went to confront Fisher one more time. He was done trying to pussyfoot around him. He decided to push him. In that pushing Fisher confessed to having the boys in the car and to giving them alcohol. He spelled out what happened to Lucas. Grissom didn't buy the excuses. He saw Fisher as a perpetrator not a victim. In the end Fisher was charged with negligent homicide and violation of parole.

Grissom was unmoved. Lucas was still dead. Nothing could change that. He did not get a real sense of closure. A boy was gone and all the legal proceedings in the world would not change that.

He finally could give into the pain. He went to Brass' office and found the couch. The lights flashed outside the window and the voices were distorted and loud. All he wanted was for the pain to stop. He would wait just a little while and then he would go home.

Hours passed as he slept.

Gentle hands shook him awake.

He recognized the voice calling his name.

"Gil….wake up."

He still didn't respond. He knew it was Sara, but the pain was too bad. He just wanted it to end.

"Gil…Brass called me to come get you."

"Sara…hurts….can't drive."

"I know. I'm going to take you home. Come on."

She helped him to a sitting position.

"Can you stand up?"

"I…I think so."

He managed to stand.

"Did you take your migraine medicine?"

"No…can't and drive."

"Where is it?"

"Pocket."

She got his medicine and had him take a dose right there. She then helped him walk out of the station and helped him into the car.

He kept his eyes closed most of the trip home. The light hurt.

"Gil, you need anything?"

He shook his head.

"Have you eaten at all today?"

Again he shook his head.

"Do you want something? Do you think you could keep it down?"

Once more he shook his head.

She let it go for now.

They pulled into the parking lot of the complex. She helped him upstairs and into bed. He finally let the medicine overtake him and passed into unconsciousness.

Sara checked on him every few hours. He slept soundly hardly moving. It had been a long night and another double shift. They were both exhausted. She finally dressed for bed and joined him.

Sara woke first. They were both scheduled to be off that night. It was a rarity that they had the same day off. She tried to get out of bed without waking him, but he stirred when he felt the bed move.

"Hey there. Feeling and better?"

"A little. What time is it?"

"It's about 10:30 pm."

He nodded. The dregs of his migraine were still lingering. The nausea and intense pain were gone. Now he just felt drained. Lack of sleep and food had taken it's toll.

"What day is it?"

Sara laughed, "Saturday."

"That means we are off tonight."

"Yes, it does."

"Hummmmm."

"Why?"

"Well, I have it on good authority that sex is a natural cure for a headache."

Sara laughed, "Site your source."

"In a recent poll of women who suffer from migraines, 61% reported relief from having sex. So what's good for goose must be good for the gander."

Sara could not help herself. She broke out in a full fledged laugh.

"What, do you doubt my research?"

"Gilbert, only you would have would have a scientific study as justification for sex."

"So are you going to help me out here or what?"

"Well, who am I to deny you some pain relief."

She pushed him back down on the bed and straddled him.

"Now was there anything in particular that is supposed to work better than others?"

"Well the report didn't specify any particular activities, let's just wing it."

She leaned down and kissed him, "I think I can accommodate you, sir."

"Well, thank you, Dear."

She kissed him again and began to undress him as she worked her way down his body. His arousal was evidence that he was feeling better.

"Sara, you have too many clothes on."

He pulled her up to him and slid his hands under her shirt and tugged it off over her head.

He pulled her to him again. The feel of her skin against his was sending electric shocks shooting though his senses.

"Sara…" he moaned out as she kissed along her neck and down to her breast. He took it into his mouth as she shuttered.

Sara then removed the rest of her clothing and lowered herself down. She felt Grissom fill her. She began to move on top of him. She knew just how to please him. She could tell by his breathing he was close. She then felt her own orgasm take hold.

"That's it Sara." Grissom called out as she came undone around him.

He was not long behind her. He arched one final time and the flood of his climax filled her.

They were both breathless for a moment.

Sara spoke first, "Well, can we add you to the statistics?"

Grissom laughed, Sara had not heard him laugh like that in a long time.

He kissed her, "Yes, dear, I think we can."

Sara asked, "Did you ask Brass to call me to come get you?"

"No."

"Then how…."

They locked eyes. The same thought crossing both their minds.

"You don't think he….knows?"

Grissom shrugged, "I don't know, Sara. But if he does, he'll keep it quiet. I trust him."

He kissed the end of her nose.

She laid her head down and listened to his heartbeat.

"I trust you." She said.

"Rest Sara, we can both use it."

She nodded and they fell back to sleep.

A/N:

Thanks to Kasey for the help on the statistics. Who else but Grissom would use statistics as a way to get into Sara's pants?


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: This one deals with the evens of Post Mortem. There is dialogue from that episode. No smut sorry. **

**Still don't own them. **

The weeks passed Grissom seemed a bit happier, but he was not himself. Sara was worried about burn out. He needed to get away and refresh himself. She broached the subject with him one afternoon. He was working in his study, reading a journal article. She stood in the doorway and watched him for a moment. He looked tired, somehow older.

"Hey, whatcha reading?"

He looked up, "An article about mosquitoes."

She smiled, "Bugs, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Gil…"

He looked at her. He recognized that voice. She wanted to talk to him about something.

"Did, you want to talk about something?"

"I think…you might…need to…take some time off."

There, she's said it. It was out there.

His eyebrow went up, "What do you mean?"

'Gil, you're burning out. I can see it. You need to take a break for a while."

"Sara, I can't."

"Why? You have the time. Just a few weeks. Go do some research, or go to a seminar. I'm not saying you need to spend two weeks in the Bahamas, but you need to do something. I'm worried about you."

He knew she was right. He didn't want to face what had been building. He was tired and he knew it was just a matter of time before he burned out.

"Sara, I…"

"Just think about it. Maybe you could teach a class for a while somewhere. I know you consider yourself a teacher first."

He smiled. She did know him and she understood. He often wondered how she tolerated him. She was the most patient person he knew.

She turned to go.

"Hey, Sara….I'll think about it."

CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI

There case that night was an old lady that went through the window of her home. There was some question as to what happened. Sara and Grissom went to the scene not knowing what to expect. It seemed pretty straight forward. She lived with her nephew, who was a drug user. She was dying of cancer and her pain medication was missing. They were working on the neighbor who was a drug dealer. There didn't seem to be any real evidence against either the nephew or the neighbor. It could have been either one of them or neither of them. It was frustrating.

Catherine and Sara were walking though the hall of the lab when Henry, the victim's nephew, showed up. He was holding a box. Henry recognized Sara and Catherine.

"Excuse me."

Sara looked at him, "Hi, Henry. What are you doing here?"

"Um… I just found this on my porch…I opened it and thought I should bring it down to you guys. It's…pretty creepy."

Sara and Catherine both peered into the box and were stunned. It was a miniature of Penny Garden's house. Sara looked back at Henry.

"Where did you say you found this?"

"I told you on my porch. I came home and it was there."

"Henry set on the counter please."

Henry did as Sara asked.

"You did the right think bringing this in, Henry."

"What is it?" Henry asked.

"I don't know, Henry."

"Can I go now?"

"Not just yet. We need to get a statement from you."

"Look, I told you everything I know."

Catherine said, "Henry, it will just take a few minutes."

"Okay."

"Where did you find the package?"

"On the porch, like I said."

"Okay, I'm going to call Sophia and get her to take his statement."

Sara was staring into the box still. She just nodded. She pulled on her gloves and carried the box to the layout room.

She turned to the receptionist and asked her to call Grissom.

Grissom entered the layout room and stopped dead in his tracks.

"Where did you get that?"

Sara explained how Henry came to have possession of the miniature.

He went to get the first miniature from evidence.

They were sitting on the table side by side. Grissom and Sara were staring at them.

Sara spoke first, "If one was horrifying…what are two?"

"Possible serial killer."

"I'd say that it takes the nephew and the neighbor off the hook. I doubt either one of them could afford a mini-contractor, anyway."

Grissom continued to look at the miniature. He found a picture of a bloody doll just like in the Delancy case.

Sara remarked, "A bloody doll. Similar to the one in the other miniature."

Sara took out a photograph from the other case to compare the two.

Grissom looked at both carefully, "Look at the blood on the doll's forehead."

"Same pattern on both."

"Could be two views of the same subject."

"Maybe it's a signature."

"Yeah, but we have no context. It could mean or represent just about anything."

"Okay….again, the miniature suggests that the killer had an intimate familiarity with the victim, home and habits. So what did they have in common?"

"Izzy Delancy, 50-year-old white male, washed up rock star. Penny Garden, cancer-stricken retiree."

Sara understood where he was going.

"Different, friends, different family, different social circles."

"Why wasn't this one left at the crime scene like that one?" he pointed to the Delancy miniature.

He then picked up the Garden miniature. He heard something. He shook it. Something rattled. Grissom and Sara locked glances.

There was something loose in there.

Sara said, "I'll go to the scene. You take it to x-ray and call me."

Grissom nodded as Sara left.

He found a package under a rock. He called Sara and told her exactly to look. She found a plastic bag with a syringe and Fentanyl.

She called Grissom.

"I got it." was all she said.

"Come on back to the lab."

"Be back in just a minute."

"See you then."

They hung up and Sara headed back to the lab.

Sara went to the Police Department to talk to Henry. He was now a witness along with the neighbor.

Grissom discovered that the miniature was not in its original state. It had been altered. There were the remnants of glue on the back of the doll and on the chair. The victim was supposed to die in the chair, but something happened. The tox report came back that Penny Garden had been poisoned with liquid nicotine.

Grissom called Sara to his office to share what he found.

"Penny Garden was poisoned with nicotine."

Sara smirked, "Well that's not exactly a surprise…the woman smoked like a chimney."

"She didn't smoke it. She drank it. Liquid nicotine. Truman Capote used it as a murder weapon in his story, 'Hand-Carved Coffins' and our killer put it in Aunt Penny's liqueur bottle….A cigarette introduces approximately one milligram of nicotine into the body. The liqueur contained over 60. A dose that massive can cause severe convulsions…and evidently, mess up a meticulously planned crafted murder."

Grissom looked at Sara and continued.

"That's why the miniature wasn't at the crime scene. The killer was compelled to fix it, so that it would match what actually happened."

It gave them some insight into the killers mind.

Sara remarked, "Liquid nicotine is in a lot of smoking cessation products."

"Yeah. Commonly available to just about anyone. Any luck with the vic's calls?"

"Kind of. I data-mined the home phone numbers of Izzy Delancy and Penny Garden. They actually had ten numbers in common. Information, couple of mail order catalogues, power company, movie phone. There's one other number which turned out to be an untraceable disposable cell phone…suggests someone who doesn't want to be found."

Greg walked in just then. He had been at the inquest all day for the incident with Demetrius James. The incident was found excusable. Greg felt terrible.

"Hey, boss, unless you need me for something, I'm gonna take off."

"Yeah. Take off that suit, too."

Greg turned to leave but Grissom called out to him. He remembered what Sara had said about being nice to him.

"And Greg…you did a good job."

"I'm glad you think so."

He turned and left.

Sara looked at Grissom.

"Thank you for trying. He feels really bad."

"Yeah. They found the death excusable. The DA was not happy. She called to tell me what happened."

"Poor Greg. I hope he can get past this."

"You ready to go home?" Grissom stood up and grabbed his things.

"Yeah. I'll meet you at the car. I have to get something from locker."

Grissom's phone buzzed just then. It was Archie

"Okay, I need to check with Archie on something."

'Okay. I'll meet you in AV then."

Grissom walked into the AV lab. Archie had discovered video of the miniature being delivered to Penny Garden's house.

Grissom told Archie to get as clear a picture of it as he could and get it to his office ASAP.

Sara walked in just then.

"Hey what you got?"

"A picture of our suspect."

It was dark and unfocused, but it was the suspect.

"Great. At least we have something to go on." Sara remarked as she stared at the fuzzy picture.

"Thanks, Archie."

Archie nodded as Grissom and Sara left.

On the drive home Grissom seemed preoccupied.

"Gil, what's up?"

"Sorry, thinking."

"Well, that's nothing new."

He smiled faintly.

She was worried. She knew this new miniature would only further his obsession with this case. He was just starting to return to some kind of normal sleep pattern.

"I just need rest. We've been pulling a lot of doubles lately."

"Yeah I have a real slave driver for a boss. I think I need my boyfriend to talk to him about that." She was trying to lighten the mood.

Again he faintly smiled.

"Gil, have you given anymore thought to taking some time off?

"Sounds like you are tired of me."

"No, worried about you. You're tired and just a bit more cynical than usual. You need a break or you're going to burn out."

"I put in an inquiry to a college back east to teach a seminar. We'll see what they say."

She was not expecting him to look at going that far away, but she was not going to say anything. It had been her idea if the first place. She would listen and be supportive. He needed this. She was not going to be selfish.

"Good." Was what she managed.

Grissom watched her for signs she didn't want him to do this, but there was nothing. Maybe she was okay with this. He relaxed a bit. At first he didn't want to do it, but as he thought about it, the idea began to take root in his brain. It might be fun to teach again. He hadn't had to be a teacher in quite a while. Even Greg didn't really need him anymore. The others helped him out as much as Grissom did.

He took her hand and held it the rest of the way home. When they got there he parked and looked at her.

"Thanks for suggesting I take some time, Sara."

He kissed the palm of her hand.

She smiled at him.

"Come on, I'm beat. I want to get some sleep and I can really use a shower."

"Yeah, me too." Grissom agreed.

He held the door for as they got out of the car.

Once they were inside, Grissom went to the kitchen to make some dinner before they went to bed. He told her to take a shower and dinner would be ready. True to his word when she stepped out of the shower dinner was waiting. Nothing fancy, but it was nourishing and delicious.

She would miss him. She would be supportive. She would wait here for him.

"Sara, you okay. You looked a million miles away."

"Sorry, just tired."

"You sure?"

"Yep."

"The college I was looking it is Williams in Massachusetts. I know the head of the biology department there. He called and said he was trying to put together a series of graduate seminars in interdisciplinary studies."

"Sounds interesting."

"Yeah."

"I'm happy for you. When will you know?"

"They are supposed to let me know in about two weeks."

"Well, I hope you get it. You'd be great. I always enjoyed your lectures. Just no finding some girl there that will follow you back to Vegas."

"No chance. I have one already."

They smiled at each other.

Sara offered to clean up while he took his shower. It had been a long day and bed was calling. Sara was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Grissom took longer. He was thinking about the miniature. The killer was still out there. He wanted to understand what the miniatures meant. There was a message there, he just had to find it and figure out what it meant. It took a while but he did fall asleep.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Come one we all knew that Sara knew about him leaving. Not even Grissom would be dense enough to leave without telling her. Please leave a review.**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: There is dialogue from Happenstance in here. I don't own them.**

A week passed since Grissom sent out the inquiry about teaching at Williams College. A letter arrived in the mail at the lab. It was on his desk when Sara came in to put a file on his desk. She stopped and picked it up. She did not open it, but she left it on the top of the pile for him to read. She was afraid to know what it said.

Sara was preparing for court that day. Grissom was still home asleep when she left to come to the lab. It was going to be a long couple of days. She got what she needed and headed to court.

Grissom was gone when Sara came home from court the first day. She did not see him. She called him, but he had not had time to read the letter. He'd gotten an early call out. It was a busy night. He was at the scene when she called him. He said he would call her back later.

The case was an interesting one involving identical twins being killed. The similarities were eerie. Same watch, same car, same nail polish.

Grissom read the letter from Williams College. He'd been offered a position in the seminar. He was excited, but then the thought of telling Sara crossed his mind. They wanted him for a month. That was a long time.

Grissom's shift turned into a double again. They were happening more and more often.

Sara had to report back to court for the second day. She was not happy about that.

They had missed each other again.

She sighed. They had gone two days now without seeing each other. She missed him.

They had talked on the phone, but not about that letter. It nagged at the back of her mind. She wanted to know what it said, but was afraid to bring it up. Grissom did on a phone call between court sessions.

He called her.

"Sidle."

"Hey, it's me."

"I know, Gilbert. I can read the caller ID."

"What's wrong?"

She sighed, "I hate waiting."

He laughed, "I know. Are you pacing yet?"

She smiled. He knew her so well.

"No, not yet." She lied. She had been pacing for an hour.

He knew she was lying, "Sara, sit down."

She did it.

"How's the case going?"

"We're making some headway."

"I wish I was there to help."

"I know." He missed her. They hadn't seen each other in more than passing in three days. He'd pulled a double and she'd had court.

"Did you call for a reason or just to tell me to stop wearing a rut in the floor of the courthouse?"

It was silent for a moment.

"Gil…are you there?"

"I called to tell you I heard from Williams."

She almost held her breath, "What did they say?" She tried to keep her voice normal and she managed.

"They want me to come….for a month. They want me there in three weeks."

"Oh," was all she could manage.

"I…think I want to do it." He waited to hear any hesitation in his voice. He heard none.

She tried not to break down, "I think it's a great opportunity for you."

Just then Catherine walked in with something about the case.

'Hey, Gil…oh sorry didn't realize you were on the phone. I'll come back."

"No, Catherine, it's alright." He turned back to Sara, "Hey, can I call you back later?"

Sara answered, "Sure, I'm not going anywhere. They are moving slower than Molasses in January."

"Let me know when you are done at court. We can really use you back here. We're swamped."

"Bye."

And they hung up.

Catherine commented, "Sara?"

"Yeah, she's still in court."

"We could really use her. There is a back up."

"I know, but she was ordered to appear today, nothing we can do."

"I know. It just leaves us short."

Grissom changed the subject, "What do you have on the case?"

"Oh come to A/V and I will show you. This is creepy."

Catherine and Grissom went to A/V and joined Archie. There they discovered the real similarities in the twins' lives. Neither knew the other existed, but their lives were about to collide. Only their deaths prevented that from happening. They were to meet in a class that one was teaching and one was taking. It seemed ironic that they did not get to meet.

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Back in the courthouse Sara continued to pace and to think. _He's leaving. I hope it's not me he's running from._ She continued to wait. The bailiff came out to get another witness. Sara continued to wait and to think.

Another hour went by. They broke for lunch. She called Grissom to see if he wanted to meet her, but his phone went straight to voicemail.

She hung up and sighed.

Lunch recess was over. The bailiff came to get another witness and still she waited.

The pacing and the thinking began again.

She wondered what it would be like to live without him. She didn't want to think about that. They were happy. He just needed to get away from the job, not her.

The bailiff came out and said that they were taking a break and they would resume in about 30 minutes.

She rolled her eyes and paced some more. Good thing Grissom couldn't see her. He would make her sit down.

She hated this part of her job. Court sucked.

It was nearly five when the Bailiff came out and said that they were recessing for the day.

Sara was pissed. She knew that it meant another wasted day tomorrow as she waited again. She headed back to the lab to return the reports she was using.

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The team did prove that the cases were related in a manner. The same killer killed the sisters, but it was through happenstance that he did it. It had been a long day. Grissom was ready to relax for a bit. He'd picked up a copy of_ Walden Pond_. He figured he'd read it since he was teaching a class on the Walden Pond Swamp Mosquito. He was involved in it when Sara walked in. She looked tired. He didn't hear her at first so she spoke.

"I hear the guys solved a double murder."

"Mmmhmm"

"I spent the day sitting on a bench outside the courtroom; they never got to me."

"That sucks"

Sara noticed what he was reading.

"Feeling transcendental?"

"Hum?"

"Thoreau. I, um, haven't read him since college."

"Me, neither. It holds up. 'I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.'"

Sara was not sure how to take that comment. It was just such a Grissom attitude. Did he want space from her? Or was this just one more comment that really meant nothing other than he liked the quote. She wasn't sure. There had been so many misunderstandings in their relationship about comments like that. She decided to let it go. She instead turned and saw the crossword puzzle he was working on. There was a blank answer.

"Oh, look, you missed one. Sixty-three down, 'Misanthrope'".

He looked at her, but said nothing.

She gave him a grin as she put the crossword down.

"I won't wait up." And she walked out of his office.

There was a hint of suggestion in that. Grissom's eyes followed her as she left. He closed the book. He decided to follow her home.

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Sara had drawn herself a bath when she got home. It felt good to relax in the warm water. She had turned on the stereo when she got home. Grissom had left some opera in, but she went with it. He was slowly beginning to win her over, not that she would give up her music, she would just expand her options.

Grissom heard the soft restrains of Turandot floating from the living room. He went in search of Sara. He did not call out for her. He found her in the bathroom. Her eyes were closed as she listened to the music. He smiled at her. He would miss her when he was gone. He could feel the desire begin to stir within him.

He removed his jacket and then his clothes. If she heard him she gave no indication.

He moved with stealth as he sat on the edge of the tub.

"So you think I am a misanthrope.'

She smiled but did not open her eyes, "I never said that."

"You never said it but you implied it. And for the record, I am not a misanthrope. I do not hate mankind. I distrust them and am in constant wonder of the evils they do to one another, but I do not hate them. I especially don't hate you."

"Point taken."

She still had not opened her eyes.

He stood and slipped in the tub with her.

Her eyes shot open.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like, taking a bath."

She slid her foot up his chest as he settled into the warm water. She let him slide under her just a bit.

She smiled as she felt his arousal. She leaned forward and kissed him. Then she shifted position, resting on top of his chest.

He kissed the place on her neck that drove her wild.

The warm water made their bodies slippery.

She pressed against him and was rewarded with a low moan.

"Sara…"

She silenced him with a kiss. She did not want to think about him being gone in three weeks. She just wanted to think about right now. She felt his hands begin to caress her. They were everywhere. They finally found their way to her folds. She groaned as he dipped first one then two fingers in.

Her body ached for him. He made her feel more alive than she had ever felt.

The pressure was building and the first waves of her pleasure came fast. He hardly gave her time to recover as he entered her. She moaned again as he filler her. They lay there for a moment. Then Sara began to move. The water splashed against them and lapped over the edge of the tub onto the floor. Neither of them cared. Grissom felt the fire building as he neared climax. He knew it would not be long. Sara knew it too. He kissed him hard and then nibbled on his neck. That's all it took for him to release inside her. Breathing returned to normal as they rested in the warm water.

"I'll miss you." He began to say.

She knew he meant it, "I'll miss you too."

"You…could come visit me."

"The lab wouldn't be able to let both of us go. Besides it would look a bit strange if we both disappeared at the same time."

He kissed the top of her head and nodded in agreement. They would work it out. For now they were just going to enjoy this moment together.

**A/N:**

**Please leave a review. It makes my day and it makes me want to write more.**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N:**

**There is dialogue from Loco Motives in this one. **

**Nope not mine, just borrowed.**

Grissom prepared his lectures as the time came to leave. Sara helped him in their time off. Grissom did not tell the team about his leaving. Sara wasn't sure if it was on purpose or if it just never occurred to him to say anything. He'd put in for the leave time and had it approved.

Sara was outwardly supportive. She inwardly dreaded the weeks he would be gone.

Grissom continued to work with a bit more enthusiasm over the remaining weeks. They had solved the long open case of Mickey Dunn.

That night at home Sara watched Grissom getting his class put together. She could see him puttering in an office at a university somewhere. He loved teaching. She watched him for a while before she spoke.

"Hey, you almost done with that class."

"Oh, hey. Yeah. I never thought that I could make swamp mosquitoes interesting, but I think I managed."

She smiled, "I think so. I'd listen to you lecture anytime. And just think, I get to sleep with the professor now."

He chuckled at her comment and walked over and kissed her.

She tried not to cry, but failed.

"What is it, Sara?"

"Damn it, I wasn't going to cry."

"Sara?"

"I'm….just going to miss you."

He kissed her again, "I'll miss you too. I'll only be gone four weeks."

"I know and I know you need to do this. Never mind, I'm just being selfish. I don't want to make this hard on you."

"Sara, you're not being selfish, and I'm glad you told me. I thought you didn't mind at all that I was going."

She smiled, "Back to old habits aren't we?"

He kissed her again, "I hope not, or I wouldn't be able to do that."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the door.

"Come on, have dinner with me."

"You have to be at work in a few hours."

"I know. The lecture notes are done. It'll be fine."

"But you have to start packing."

"I'm starting to get the idea that you don't want to have dinner with me. Isn't supposed to be me that turns me down?"

She laughed, remembering when he had turned her down.

"Why did you turn me down that night?"

He was stunned at the question. She had never asked.

"Sara…there were many reasons, but never because I didn't want to be with you. I did. Do you know where I was headed when came to my office that day?"

"How would I know that? You never told me."

"I was headed to the surgeon. I had decided to have surgery for my hearing."

She knew he'd had the surgery. She did not know that it was that day he'd decided.

"I had an appointment later that day with her."

"Oh…I thought you didn't want….me."

She dropped her head.

He cupped her chin, "I have wanted you since sat in my lecture 8 years ago. I was just too stubborn and too stupid to tell you."

"Well, glad you pulled your head out of your ass, Gilbert."

He laughed again.

They went to dinner and talked about his lecture and what the weather would be like there. Sara had gone to school at Harvard and understood the cold weather. She told him what heavy clothing he would need to get even for the short time he would be there. She would take him shopping after shift tomorrow. They both had that day off.

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Shopping was not to be. There were two late call outs and Grissom was working a double.

He called her on his way back from the first one.

She heard him laughing as she answered the phone, "What's so funny, Gil?"

"Catherine and I just left a scene, there was a dead body lying on top of the concrete and a man buried up to his waist in the concrete. He'd had his wallet taken and was trapped. I know I shouldn't laugh, but just can't help myself. He won't tell us who he is. He told us to figure out what happened."

Sara smiled, "Does he not know that's the fun part?"

"That's what I told him."

"Where are you going now?"

"I got a call out to another scene at a Chicken processing plant. Looks like shopping is out for now. I will call you when I'm done."

"Okay."

She was glad she didn't get that call out.

Grissom took Greg with him to the scene. It at first appeared to be just another scene. A strange mode of death, but nothing too far out of the norm for Las Vegas. It was what Grissom found when he was investigating that changed all of that.

He found a miniature of the scene. A perfect half inch model of the scene.

He left Greg to finish the scene with help on the way. He took the miniature back to the lab. He called Sara on the way. She picked up the phone but did not get a chance to even talk.

"Sara, meet me at the lab. We got another miniature. At the chicken processing plant. I need you."

"I'm on my way."

Grissom had taken all the evidence from the other miniature cases and had it lain out on the table. He was looking at it as a whole. He was using the scope to look into the miniature. He knew what he was looking for and he found it stuck to the window of one of the swinging doors. It was a picture of a bloody doll. He grinned.

Sara met him at the lab. She walked in as he was looking at the evidence.

"You look like a kid who's just found the prize at the bottom of a Cracker Jacks box"

He showed he what he'd found, "Definitely some kind of doll."

"It sure is."

He pointed to the layout board on the wall.

"Three different views of the same dead doll…Maybe this is more than a signature. Maybe there's something these victims have in common."

"First two victims were white, the third Hispanic, two men, one woman, one rich, two poor, one young, two old, one famous, two obscure, ehhh." She shook her head.

"Yeah." He had to agree there wasn't much there.

He picked up the photograph of the man delivering the second miniature, "And unfortunately, this is the best lead we have for their killer."

"This is the most that Archie could get off that video?"

"Yeah, well, with the equipment we have here."

"I'm getting Raymundo's cell phone records. I'm gonna see if any of his calls are a match to the numbers that Penny Garden and Izzy Delancy had in common."

"Whatever happened with that number we got off the disposable cell phone? Any luck with that?"

"Disposable phone numbers are assigned by the carrier to the phone distributors. It took a little bit of legwork, but I did find the store where the phone was sold."

"Let me guess. It was paid for with cash."

"Yeah."

Sara was reading the file when she saw something interesting, "Mannleigh Chickens."

"What about it?"

"I'll let you know."

She picked up the folder and walked out. She looked over her shoulder.

"See how it feels?"

She suppressed a smile and left him standing there staring at him.

He should have been annoyed, but he just raised an eyebrow. Damn it she was cute when she did that to him.

Grissom went back to work.

About an hour later Sara came back to share with him. She popped her head in the layout room.

"Ready to find out?"

"You ready to share?"

She nodded and smiled.

She led him to the A/V lab and had a video cued up for him to watch. It was a video of Izzy Delancy doing a public service announcement against Mannleigh Chickens, the plant where the latest miniature was found.

Grissom sat there listening a bit stunned.

Sara paused the video.

"Where did you find this?"

"I like animals and after the Delancy murder I brushed up on my history and as it turns out Izzy Delancy had a midlife awakening and became an animal rights activist. He stared in and financed this PSA targeting Mannleigh Chickens as the epitome of everything that is wrong with the slaughter industry."

They continued to watch as the animals were cruelly treated by the workers at the plant.

"How bad did Mannleigh get hurt by this?"

"His sales dropped sixty percent. He launched a very expensive PR campaign to rehabilitate his image, including retrofitting the plant cruelty-free equipment. His business never recovered. He probably hated Delancy."

Grissom nodded in agreement.

"We'll have to look into this. I'll call Brass and have him bring in Ike Mannleigh."

"I'll work on those phone records."

"Let me know what you find."

"You know we still need to take you shopping. You're gonna freeze to death back there if you don't."

"Yeah, I know. Soon."

Judy called to say that there was a package for Grissom at the front counter.

"Oh, that's most likely the photographic enhancing technology I ordered."

"Okay, I'll check back with you in a bit, maybe we can get something to eat. You know I got called in early."

He smiled at her and nodded, 'Sure. I guess I owe you."

"Yes you do, and I'll collect it later and I get to pick where we eat."

"Fine." He went up to get the machine and get working on the photograph of the suspect

She went off to do some research on Raymundo's phone records.

She came in for dinner break.

"Get anything yet?"

"No, but it's working on it."

"Well, I'm hungry let's go. How about the deli? I know you want to get back and it's fast."

"Thanks."

They went to dinner and when they came back Grissom went back to work. He got the image cleared enough to figure out, with the help of Hodges, that the man in the picture had a shirt on from a local Model Train club.

Brass picked up Ernie Dell. He belonged to the club, he worked at Mannleigh Chickens, he was in the PSA that Izzy Delancy made. He knew Raymundo.

Grissom went on the interview with Brass. They had found molds that had been used to make parts of the miniatures. Grissom wanted to ask him some questions.

Dell did not give them much. They had to keep digging.

Catherine had wrapped up her case and was telling Grissom about the case. She still could not stop laughing at the poor guy. He had nothing but bad luck. He did not mean to kill his wife or the old lady across the way from their apartment. He told Brass that he'd run over his daughter.

She was laughing when she told Grissom about it all He was not laughing.

"I'm sorry. It's horrible. But it's really funny. It's horrible and it's funny."

She looked at Grissom, "Are you okay?"

Grissom shook his head, "A guy kills two people before breakfast that he had no intention of killing when he woke up that morning. By all accounts, he's lived a meager life, and unnoticed life. And then all of a sudden, in a flash, it's over. And for him, the real suffering begins."

"You're tired."

"Yeah."

Just then Sara walked in.

"Hey, guess what?"

Grissom said, "Mankind had reached a new evolutionary plateau, and starting tomorrow no one will rape, murder, or maim again."

She looked confused, "Uh, no."

Sara and Catherine shared a look of concern.

Grissom quipped back, "Too bad."

"But we did catch a break on that disposable cell phone number."

"Raymundo Suarez called it as well."

"No, he didn't. But according to the carrier, additional minutes were recently purchased with a credit card belonging to Ernie Dell. Brass is already on it. They're picking up. We've got the miniature killer."

Grissom nodded.

He was sitting in his office, waiting for Brass to call when his computer beeped. He had an e-mail.

He went to his desk and turned on the screen to look at what was sent. It was Ernie Dell.

He had sent a confession to killing Izzy Delancy, Penny Garden, and Raymondo Suarez. There was a link.

Grissom clicked on it and a video feed to Ernie Dell appeared. Dell began to talk. He was sipping tea and was telling Grissom about his life.

Grissom sat there listening to what he said.

When all of the sudden, Ernie Dell shot himself with Grissom watching.

Grissom sat in stunned silence as he heard the police arriving in the background of the feed.

Sara found him there an hour later. He had not moved.

"Gil, what's wrong?"

He said nothing. He just looked at her with sad eyes.

"What happened?"

"I just watched Ernie Dell blow his brains out."

"Oh, God."

"He emailed me and confessed to killing three people and blew his brains out."

"Come on, let's go home. You are into your third shift today. You need to go. You've been here for 24 hours."

He didn't argue, but he didn't get up.

Sara walked over and closed his laptop and took his hand.

"Let's go, honey."

He looked at her and gave a quick nod of his head and followed her out of the building.

She drove him home. He wasn't in any condition to do it right now.

"Sara, thank you."

"For what?"

"For understanding that I need to go for a while."

"You're welcome."

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Grissom woke with a start covered in sweat. He jerked himself into a sitting position.

He was breathing hard.

"Gil, what is it?"

His sudden awakening had startled Sara awake.

"Bad dream."

"Tell me."

"Dell….gun….shot himself."

He breathing still came in hard gasps.

She knelt in front of him on the bed and cupped his face and kissed him. Then she pulled him close.

He had done that for her on numerous occasions when she'd had bad dreams.

He held no to her. He needed her right now.

They both knew the time was drawing close that they would be apart.

Neither of them spoke for a few minutes. Grissom's breathing finally returned to normal.

"Better," he said.

"Good. Think you can go back to sleep now?"

He nodded again and leaned back against the pillows. Sara lay down against his chest. She lay there until he breathing became slow and steady again. He was asleep.

She slipped from the bed and went to take a bath. She could not sleep right now. This dream was just more proof that Grissom needed to take a break.

She let the warm water relax her. She was tired as well. It had been a long few months with the miniature killer. She was glad it was over. She knew that he was worried about leaving that case open while he was away.

Grissom came in a while later.

"I woke up and you were gone."

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep anymore."

"Me either. And before you ask no more dreams. I just missed you being next to me."

She smiled at him and shrugged her shoulders.

"You almost done?"

"Yeah, just let me dry off and I'll be right out."

She stood up as Grissom watched for a moment before handing her a towel.

"You are beautiful, Sara."

She always felt a bit self-conscious when he said that. She was getting used to it though.

"What did you have in mind since we can't sleep?"

"Oh, I bet we can think of something to do."

He stood and kissed her. She broke the kiss first.

"You know, I think I like that idea."

She ran off into the bedroom with Grissom close behind her.

**A/N:**

**With the sad event before this and what is coming I decided to let our favorite couple have a bit of fun. Please read and review. **


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Ok here it is he's leaving.**

**I 'borrowed' some dialogue from Leaving Las Vegas.**

**Slight smut alert**

The time drew short. It was just a matter of days now before Grissom was supposed to board a plane for Massachusetts. Neither of the talked about it, but it hung there like a black cloud. They worked. Grissom was trying to get caught up on paperwork. He still had not told the team he was leaving. Hodges had found out by snooping in Ecklie's office. He saw the signed leave request on his desk. He brought Grissom a sweat shirt and told him about a bar that Grissom would never go to.

Catherine came in.

"You got a minute?"

Hodges answered, "He's kind of busy."

Grissom and Catherine shot him a dirty look. He got the message and stood to leave.

"Oh, and when you get a change, hit the Purple Pint. Ask for Cookie. Tell her Davey Hodges sent you. Drinks'll be on the house."

Sarcastically Grissom says, "Crazy time."

Hodges missed it, "Yeah."

He walked out leaving Catherine and Grissom to talk.

Catherine gave Grissom the events that had happened in court that day and asked for time to go investigate. She didn't want Jay Finch to get off.

Grissom told her she couldn't go.

She argued, "Look, I want a second shot at this guy. I want to get him before he kills again."

He realized it was a mistake not saying anything until now, but there was no time like the present.

He did it quickly.

"I'm going on sabbatical. You're gonna be the acting supervisor while I'm gone."

Catherine was stunned.

"When are you leaving?"

Grissom shrugged, "Tomorrow night."

"I'll be back before then."

She started to leave, but her anger got the better of her.

"How long have you known about this?"

Grissom said nothing, he just shook his head. She had no patience for him right now. Typical Grissom she thought.

He knew he'd pissed her off, but it was too late to fix it now. He'd call her later he thought. Right now he had paperwork to finish. There were only two days left before he was to leave. He was torn. He desperately knew he needed to do this, but there was Sara.

The closer the time got to leaving the more he realized he was going to miss her. He finished his paperwork. He decided to put some things away. He began with the miniatures. They were not needed any more since the miniature killer had killed himself.

Warrick came in.

"Hey Gris. So, uh, Hodges tells me you're flying the coop. What's the matter, are you sick of babysitting?"

"Just the opposite. I'm a teacher without any students."

"I still got a lot to learn. Besides, having you around kinda keeps me honest."

"Whether you know it or not you're the rock of my team. Catherine's going to be in charge for a while, while I'm gone. Be there for her like you've been there for me and we'll all be fine."

"Thanks, that means a lot. You know I got you covered."

Grissom locked the last case on the miniatures.

Warrick remarked, "Are you sending those to the Louvre?"

"Ernie Dell did kill with an artistic touch."

"Yes, he did. I'll try and catch you before you leave. If not have a great trip."

"Thanks, Warrick."

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Grissom went in search of Sara. She was just getting back from a scene. He found her in the evidence locker logging what she had collected.

"Hey."

"Oh, hi. Almost done here."

"Good. Want to get something to eat before we head home?"

"Sure."

It was awkward. Neither knew what to say. They ate in relative quiet. Grissom asked about her case. She asked about his paperwork. They went home.

Sara took a shower and made an excuse that she was tired and wanted to go to bed. Grissom was disappointed but understood. It had been a long shift. He had to go in early so she suggested they get some rest before they had to get up. He nodded and lay down beside her. He wasn't sure, but he thought he heard her crying.

"Sara…"

There was no answer.

He tried again, and again no answer. He finally rolled on to his side and spooned up against her.

She pretended to sleep. If she talked to him right now, she'd cry. In a few hours he would be gone for a month. They had been together for a year and half. It was amazing to her that she could not imagine her life with him.

He reached out and stroked her hair, "I love you, Sara."

She could not stand it anymore. She rolled over and kissed him. All the emotions they were both feeling came out in that kiss. Grissom rolled her over and lay down on top of her. She kissed him again. This was not going to be slow and gentle. They needed each other right now. He kissed her neck and then down to the hollow between her breasts. She pulled his t-shirt over his head. He did the same for her and then removed the shorts she was wearing.

"Sara, my beautiful, Sara."

She moaned as he kissed a trail down her belly and the back up to her neck. She hooked a thumb in the waist band of his pajamas and removed them. She could feel his arousal against her hip.

Without a word he took position and entered her. Each understood that this would be the last time for a long while. Grissom looked her straight in the eye and began to move within her. She met his every movement. No words were spoken. They weren't needed. The emotions and feelings they had for each other came out in their love making. They came nearly at the same time and just laid there holding each other for a long while. Neither of them wanted to let go. The alarm finally woke them.

Grissom spoke first.

"I guess we better get up. I have to go in early and take care of a few things before…"

He couldn't say it.

"Yeah. I guess we better."

They took a shower together and got dressed in silence.

They drove to the lab together. A cab was coming for Grissom to take him to the airport. He didn't want to say goodbye to her there at the airport.

She was busy working when Nick came back from his trip to Larkston with Catherine.

He saw Grissom in the hallway coming out of his office.

"Hey, Nick."

"Hey."

"Where's Catherine?"

"Not back yet. I got a ride here with a local deputy."

"She told me she was going to be back before I left."

"Oh, yeah. Listen, about that…I told my folks when I went to college I'd be back, you know? Go to work at the D.A.'s office with my dad. You can kinda see how that turned out. Anyway, I just wanted to say it's been great, man."

Nick gave him a big hug. "Really I've learned at lot from you, man."

"I'll be back in four weeks. Stop hugging me."

Nick let go of Grissom, 'Yes, sir."

Grissom looked at Nick with a bewildered look and went back to his office.

Nick skulked away to process the evidence.

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Catherine returned with the evidence needed to put Jay Finch away. Grissom found her before he left.

"Hey, Catherine."

She looked up from what she was doing.

"Hey."

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving. I should have."

"It's fine. Have a good trip. I think you can use it."

"Thank you. I know you'll do a good job while I'm gone. Take care of the team for me."

"You know I will."

Grissom knew there was one more person he needed to say good bye to…Sara.

He looked all over for her.

Judy said that his cab was out front waiting for him.

He feared he would miss her.

He finally located her in the locker room.

"Hey."

Sara looked up.

"My cab's here."

"So, you're going."

"Yeah."

He wanted to pull her in to a hug and kiss her.

"I'll see you when I get back."

Sara was trying not to cry. She continued to get ready for her shift.

She could not do what she wanted to do or say what she wanted to say either. She managed to get out a few words.

"I'll see you when you get back."

Grissom looked around. He could not leave it like that. He stepped into the locker room. He touched his fingertips together in the way that he did when he was unsure of what to do. He could not what his hear told him it wanted to do nor could he say what he wanted to say.

"I'll miss you."

She nodded at him. If she said anything else she would start to cry. He turned to leave. She leaned against her locker and swallowed back the tears.

He was gone like that.

It was not the parting she had hoped for, but it was all they were afforded in the lab.

Grissom looked back at the lab as the cab pulled away. He knew she was getting ready to start her shift. Goodbye, Sara. I love you. Be safe. I'll call you. I'll miss you. That is what he wanted to say.

He called her from the airport.

She was at a scene. It went to voice mail. He didn't leave a message.

He would call her when he landed.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Please leave a review. We will have to get our favorite geeks back together soon. I won't make it too long a separation.**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: This one is all my own. Thanks to karen and Jim for the help on it. No smut just some awkward times for our couple. Please leave a review. I love them and it spurs me to write more. Thanks for reading.**

Sara worked her shift in relative silence. She willed herself to get through her shift before she broke down. The work helped. The case was relatively straight forward. As it turned out it was a suicide. She filed her report and went home. She picked up Hank from the dog sitters and picked up some Chinese on the way home. The house was quiet.

She missed him. Hank walked around the house looking for Grissom too. He did not understand where Grissom was. Sara sensed that Hank felt her sadness. She ate dinner and took a shower. Grissom had not called her since the missed call at the scene. She sighed and went to take a shower.

The hot water felt good. It relaxed her. She let the hot water rain down. What she didn't hear was her phone ringing. The house phone rang as well, but she didn't hear that either.

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Grissom hung up. He didn't leave her a message. He missed her and leaving a message just didn't seem the right way to tell her what he should have said in the locker room when he left. Namely things that were in his heart.

There had been a mix up with his luggage at the airport. It had been mishandled and sent to another airport. He had to take care of finding his luggage. It took several hours to get it all straightened out. They would have his luggage delivered to his hotel. He'd called her when he was finally at his hotel. He'd found an extended stay hotel. It did not make sense to find an apartment for a month and he did not want to stay in just a regular hotel.

The place was nice, but it wasn't home. Sara wasn't there. He missed her more than he ever could have imagined he would.

She was right about the weather though. New England in winter was brutal. He was exhausted and thought he would just rest for a few minutes before he unpacked and called Sara again.

He hoped she was home sleeping. She needed to sleep more.

His last thoughts before he fell asleep were of her. He wished she was here to snuggle with. He missed the warmth of her body next to his. He missed the smell of her hair. _Good night, Sara. _With that he fell asleep.

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Sara stepped out of the shower and dressed for bed. She pulled one of Grissom's t-shirts from his drawer. It smelled like him. She slipped it over her head. It was a bit like he was there holding her. She knew it was silly, but she didn't care.

Hank was there watching her.

"I know Hank, I miss him too."

Hank whined a bit.

Sara crawled into bed. She looked at the bedside phone.

Shit. She'd missed his call again.

Quickly she dialed the number for his cell phone, but it went unanswered.

She didn't leave a message. She didn't know what to say. Hi, I miss you, I'm wearing your shirt to bed sounded a bit silly. She would talk to him later. _Good night Gil. I love you. _With that though she went to bed.

Hank whined again from the floor.

Sara sighed, "Come on up, Hank. Just don't tell Daddy you slept on his side of the bed."

Hank curled up with her.

Sara was soon asleep. She was emotionally and physically exhausted.

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Grissom woke about three in the afternoon. It was going to take some time to adjust to working in the daytime again. He'd been on the night shift for so long. It took him a moment to realize where he was.

He had been in the same clothes now for twenty-four hours and he needed a shower.

The message light on his phone was blinking. He was disappointed to find out it was the front desk. His luggage was delivered and was waiting at the desk for him. He was hoping it was from Sara. But how would she know what room he was in. He had not called her to tell her. Of course it would not be her. His bags were delivered a few minutes later.

He unpacked what he needed and went to take a shower. The water felt good. It worked out a few of the knots from traveling. When he was done he finished unpacking. It was too early to call Sara she would be asleep.

He did not hear his phone ring when he was in the shower.

He heard his phone beep at him. He had a message. He picked up his cell phone and cursed. He'd missed a call from Sara.

He also noticed that the battery was low so he plugged it in and went out in search of food. He also realized that he had not eaten in nearly twenty-four hours either. The snafu at the airport and the flight had interrupted eating. He was starving.

He would call Sara when he got back. He wouldn't be gone long.

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Sara woke with a start. She thought she heard her phone ringing. She picked it up. It was Catherine. They needed her to come in early. A young girl was found in a vacant lot. There was a pattern. Catherine needed Sara to help run down some information. There was no call from Grissom. Sara figured that he was tired and was unpacking. He would call when he got the chance. She didn't want to seem needy. She needed to be strong. He was doing what he needed to do.

She would call Grissom when she got a break. That wasn't anything unusual. They often called each other on break.

It was a breaking case and she was needed there. Hank was taken to the sitters. Sara went to work. There was no time for a break. She and Nick had caught a case with lots of bugs. They tried to work up the time line like they had seen Grissom do a hundred times.

Sara had never quite gotten used to the bugs, but it was better than it used to be. She really wished Grissom was there to talk to about this.

She looked up and it was 12:30 am. That meant it was 3:30 where Grissom was, too late to call him tonight.

She sighed. He'll call she thought. He's just busy.

Email. It occurred to her that she could email him.

_Gil,_

_Sorry I missed your call. Hope you had a safe trip and you're not too cold.  
We have an interesting case. I could really use you right now. Nick and I caught  
a case with lots of bugs. Good thing I tape record everything you say. I think we  
got it right. The new guy is ok. Mike Keppler is his name.  
Hope the seminar goes well._

_Sara_

There that was not too needy and it was just work-related enough that there would not be any suspicions.

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His walk turned into a much longer venture than he had originally planned. He did not know his way around the city. He found a little deli in which to eat. Once he ate, he went to explore the city a bit. Across the street from his hotel was a park. It was full of trees. They were barren this time of the year, but it was still beautiful. He walked for hours. He looked at his watch and cursed again.

"Damn it"

He hurried back to the hotel to call Sara, but her phone went straight to voice mail. He looked at the time. She would be sleeping now.

He sighed and began working on his lecture notes. His seminar would begin tomorrow and he needed to be organized. He worked for several hours.

He yawned and looked at the clock. It read 3:15 am. He shut the lap top and went to bed. It would not do to have the professor fall asleep in class. She was working now. He would call her in the morning.

It did not take long for him to fall asleep. It had been a long two days. He was ready to teach. His last thoughts were of Sara before he fell asleep. He wondered what kind of case she was working. He would ask her in the morning. Sara went through his mind as sleep over took him.

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Grissom was startled awake by the telephone. It was his wake up call. He thought he has set the wake-up call for 7:00 am, but it had come through at 8:00 am. He was an hour late. He cured and rushed to get a shower. No time for a shave. He could do it later. He ran out the door, grabbing his laptop on the way. He would check his email at lunch.

He managed to start his first class on time. There were some participants taking the class online so Grissom posted the lectures there.

He enjoyed teaching again. The students were young and eager, just like Sara had been when she had taken his class all those years ago. It was hard to believe that it had been eight years. He felt like he had known her forever, loved her forever. Why was it hard to tell her such things?

He found a WiFi outlet and hooked up to check his email. He found several from work and the one he hoped would be there. It was from Sara. It was the one he opened first. He smiled at her referrance to bugs. He knew she did not like it when the bugs got going, but dealt with it. It was short and mostly business, but it was good to hear from her. He wanted to reply, but did not have the time. He would email her later or call her if there was time.

He was. due back to lecture in twenty minutes and it would take him nearly that amount of time to get there. He closed his computer and went back to class. The lecture again went smoothly. He loved teaching.

When the afternoon session was over he took a walk in the park on his way back to his hotel. He found a cocoon in one of the trees. He recognized it right away. He climbed the small tree to get it. He carefully took his pocket knife and cut the small branches and brought the small cocoon back to his hotel. He wanted to send it to Sara. It was a Sara butterfly. When it hatched it would become a beautiful peach colored butterfly. He carefully placed it in a small box he acquired from the front desk and wrapped in newspaper and addressed it to Sara. He then took it back to the front desk and asked if they would mail it for him. They agreed to take care of it for him. He went up to see if he could catch Sara before she went to work. It had been nearly three days since they had spoken.

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Sara was just waking when the phone rang. She reached for it.

"Hello."

"Hey."

"Oh, hi. How was your flight?"

"Fine. They lost my luggage, but they eventually found it. Sorry I didn't get a chance to talk to earlier. It's been busy."

"Yeah, here too. We're swamped."

"Sorry."

For the first time in years their conversation was awkward. Neither knew what to say. Neither would say what was in their hearts. It just didn't seem like the right time.

"Hank misses you."

"Yeah?"

"He has taken to sleeping in the bed."

"Oh."

"How was your first day of class?"

"It went well." Better than this conversation he thought. Why was it so hard to tell her what he though and what he felt?

"Good, I'm glad to hear it.

There was a long silence.

Grissom finally broke it, "I have to go soon. I am meeting some friends for dinner. I…will….call you tomorrow?"

"Sure, I will be here."

"Okay then, until tomorrow."

"Yeah, until tomorrow."

"Bye, Sara."

"Bye."

They hung up. Sara was not sure to make of that conversation.

It was strange and awkward. It had not been that way in a long time and she did not want to go back there.

She sighed and got ready for work. It was going to be a long night.

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Grissom sat there for a moment. All the things wanted to tell Sara were suddenly gone. He did not say one of them. He wanted to tell her he missed her and he loved her. He wanted to tell her about the cocoon and that he had sent to her. He realized that he forgot to include a note.

He would tell her next time.

He needed to the ready for dinner. They were eating a late dinner and then it would be off to get ready for the next day's lecture.

He would email her later.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Thanks to Kasey for being my editor-in-chief. **

**Still not mine. **

Grissom called Sara when he got back to the hotel from his dinner. He had not been good company and had excused himself early. The entire time he had been thinking about Sara.

He dialed her cell number. He knew she would be at work soon.

'Sidle"

"Hi, I wanted to talk to you before you went to work. Our last conversation was awkward."

"Yeah, I noticed. The long distance thing takes some time to work out."

"You're right it does."

"How is it going?"

"Fine. You were right about the weather. I'm glad you made me get some warm clothing."

She smiled at being right. It must be hard for him to admit that.

"You're welcome."

"I have to go to bed soon. Early day tomorrow and I am still getting used to working in the daytime. I just called to say goodnight and I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"Goodnight, Sara."

"Goodnight."

It was a short conversation, but both of them felt better after talking. They had left it awkward earlier.

Grissom was soon asleep.

Sara was on her way to work. They were in the middle of the bug case still and she had to check on the progress of the timeline she and Nick were putting together.

She pulled into the parking lot just as the new guy did. She watched him. Grissom had told her there was going to be a new CSI from Baltimore to help them out. He was hired to work the day shift, but with Grissom being gone, he was on loan. She knew his name was Mike Keppler. Grissom had not met him, but he came with good recommendations. She didn't say anything, she just watched him walk in the lab.

Nick was waiting for her when she came in

"Hey, Sara, you ready to work on this?"

"Yeah. I sure wish we had Grissom here for this. I hope we are doing it right."

"Me too. Hey, has anyone heard from him?"

Sara wasn't sure how to answer that one. She just shrugged her shoulders and went on about her business.

Sara and Nick finished working up the time line. She emailed it to Grissom to see if it was correct.

She knew he would not be up to get it now, but he would look at it when he had time. She knew he was going to bed and that he sounded tired.

Nick and Sara soon got a call out. It was an easy one and they were finished. Catherine had called them in to help on her case with Keppler. There seemed to be a pattern. They did find the pattern they were looking into suspects.

There was an email from Grissom when she checked.

_Sara,_

_The timeline looks good. You and Nick did a good job.  
Let me know if there is anything else I can help you with  
on that. I guess it was a good idea that you taped everything  
I said. You learned well._

_Best,_

_Grissom_

Sara read the email and smiled. She had wanted once to be his star pupil. She knew what he sent back was a compliment. He was a man of few words.

Sara was sent to interview the detective that worked on the Jane Doe case Sara was assigned. There was not much to go on. Sara thought about Grissom on this one. He would love it. Solving the puzzles was the fun part for him. She wished he was here. Keppler knew his stuff, but he was not the same as Grissom. He had a different style.

Sara decided to call Grissom when her shift was over.

"Grissom."

"Hello, Gilbert."

He smiled at hearing her voice. Even from across the country.

"Hey, just getting off shift?"

"Yeah."

"What case are you working on?"

"A possible serial killer."

"Really? Do tell."

She proceeded to tell him all that she knew. He agreed it sounded interesting.

He told her about his seminar that morning. And that he had to go back in a few minutes.

They said goodbye.

He forgot to tell her about the package again. He knew she would get it soon. He would tell her later.

He had to hurry to get back to class. Sara was right about one thing. It was cold here. He had not shaved the entire time he'd been here. He decided to re-grow his beard. It was also another thing he did not tell Sara. His first thought was to keep his face warm and it was one less thing he had to do in the morning. It was at Sara's insistence that he finally shaved it off in the first place. He liked it. He would surprise her with it when he got back.

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Sara headed home for some well needed rest. She took a shower and was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, but it did not last long. She missed having Grissom next to her. Hank was warm, but he wasn't Grissom. She got up and made herself some tea and curled up with the entomology book that Grissom had given to her a few years ago for Christmas. She read for several hours before she was tired enough to try sleeping again.

Hank raised his head as she laid back down on the bed.

"It's gonna be a long month."

He cocked his head and then licked her hand as she went back to sleep. She woke just before the alarm was set to go off.

It was too late to call Grissom at this point. It was one in the morning. He would be asleep.

So in the morning it would be.

It was a long shift. They were still working on the case with the Jane Does. They would have the exhumations of the three women who matched this killer's type. Sara didn't like exhumations, but they were better than bugs.

She checked her email and found another one from Grissom.

_Sara,_

_Get more sleep and how is the Jane Doe case going?  
Did they exhume the bodies yet? That's what I would do._

_Grissom_

She responded.

_Grissom, _

_I do sleep…a little.  
They did the exhumations today. We are looking at the evidence.  
There is some indication that the perp is a dentist. Catherine and  
Keppler are chasing down that lead. We sent the time-line to the  
D.A. The prelim is this afternoon so I will be in court. I have tonight  
off. I'll keep you posted on what happens._

_Sara_

She knew he would get it later. He was teaching now.

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The days passed and the team did finally catch the dentist but he refused to give up the names of his other victims. They would go back in the ground as Jane Does.

It was hard to believe that a week had already gone by.

They had fallen into sort of a routine about contacting each other. They would email and have short phone calls between her working and his classes.

When she arrived at the lab that night there was a box for her.

It was from Grissom. She opened it once she was in the locker room.

It was a tree branch with a cocoon attached. She smiled. It was such a Grissom gift. She searched the box for a note or a letter, but there was none. She smiled at that too. Typical Grissom.

Her big dilemma was where to put it and keep it safe. It dawned on where to put it. She walked down the hall and into Grissom's office. She found an empty aquarium and placed it in there. It was cool and dry. It would be safe.

The case she caught that shift was a murder case. An apparent junkie found dead in her apartment. She was working with Greg that night. Nick and Warrick got a grunt detail. Catherine and Keppler were being very cryptic about their case. They would not talk to anyone about it.

There was no call from Grissom that day. The short email said that they were in the field and he would call her when he got the chance.

She was sad but understood. She worked the case. Again, there were maggots. She processed anyway. It was weird, but maggots always reminded her of Grissom. The hazards of dating an entomologist she guessed.

She went back to the lab and logged everything in. It was a messy scene and took all shift. She was tired and just wanted to go home.

When she went to the autopsy the next day Doc Robbins confirmed that she had been a drug user and that there was a high level of heroin in her system. The strange thing was the blob of heroin in the fresh needle mark. It had been injected into her arm after she died. It confirmed there was at least suspicious if not murder.

Catherine and Keppler were acting strange and Nick was becoming a bit paranoid. He suspected that something was wrong and called for Greg, Warrick, and Sara to meet him outside. They met and decided to investigate this case on their own. Something was not adding up and it did not sit well with any of them. They did not appreciate being lied to.

The call went out to another crime scene that was identical to the first one. It was strange. They were not allowed to see the evidence. Catherine was hiding something. She ordered Nick to back off. He called the others outside and filled them in. It was decided they could not trust her or Keppler. They would be out there on their own. They were now a team investigating this. Nick went to the impound yard to look at the car and Warrick and Sara were to look at the evidence from the crime scene.

Sara went into Grissom's office to get his set of keys to the evidence locker. She knew where he kept them. It felt strange to go through his desk, but if Nick was right Grissom wouldn't mind. There was something wrong and they wanted to get to the bottom of it.

Get to the bottom of it they did. They figured out that the crime scene was staged. Catherine and Keppler explained what they had done and why. None of the four on them were very sympathetic to the reason for the deception. It would have never happened if Grissom would have been there. He would not have been party to that kind of thing. Nick was having trouble letting it go.

Sara went home that night feeling uneasy about the events of the past few days. She really missed Grissom. She wished he was there to talk to him about all of this. Deception was not something she tolerated. Lies had a way of coming back to bite you in the ass.

There was no email that day from him. She checked the messages at home, nothing. She checked her cell phone, nothing. She sighed heavily.

Hank was sitting patiently at her feet. He wanted to eat and go for a walk. He obliged him before she took her shower.

Just as she was getting out of the shower, Grissom called.

"Hey, were you sleeping?"

"No, I just got out of the shower."

His eyebrows shot up.

"Really?"

"Gilbert, get your mind out of the gutter."

"Sorry, I just miss you."

"I miss you too. "

"Any interesting cases?"

She avoided the subject. "Oh let's not talk about work."

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah. I don't want to think about it until I have to back to work. For now I just want to relax and read a book or something. Hey, where is that movie we were watching the other night?"

"Which one?"

"The one with Clark Gable."

"Oh you mean _Red Dust_, I think it's on top of the TV."

"Oh, ok. I wanted to finish watching it. We, uh, got interrupted the last time."

He laughed, "As I remember, it was you who did the interrupting."

She laughed, "Yeah, but you didn't seem to mind at the time."

"I still don't."

There was an awkward silence for a moment.

Grissom stammered, "I..I..better let you get ready for bed. You need to get some rest."

"Yeah, I'm tired."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow." He just couldn't tell her how he felt. He had done a lot of thinking about them while he was gone and he had learned some things.

He had learned that Sara was now it life. She was his first waking thought in the morning. She was the last thought he had at night. She was the first person he wanted to share things with. He was not complete when she was not at his side. It had taken being apart for this time for him to learn that. He knew he loved Sara, but he did not understand the depth of that love until now. Why couldn't he just tell her? He did not have the answer for that question.

"Gil…Gil…are you still there?"

"Sorry, yeah."

"Well, have a good evening and I'll call you later."

"Okay then, bye."

"Bye"

She had not said that she loved him. She wanted to say it, but something stopped her. She took her aggression out on the pillow and went to sleep.

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Grissom spent all the rest of the day thinking about their conversation. He could not get it out of his head. He wanted to tell her all the things in his heart. He decided to write her a letter.

He would not email this one. He would write it in his own hand.

He sat for a moment with a book open in front of him.

Sara,

Our parting was awkward. I don't know why I find it so difficult to express  
my feelings for you. Even though we're far apart, I can see you as vividly as if  
you were here with me. I said I'll miss you, and I do.

He pulled the book toward him and quoted Shakespeare's Sonnet 47.

When he was satisfied with it, he sealed it up in an envelope and started to address it. This one he would mail home, not to the lab.

He stopped addressing it half way through. He cursed himself, why couldn't he just send the letter. What held him back? He thought a long while on that. He came to the conclusion it was the same thing that had held him back for years…fear. He was afraid of being hurt, being alone, and as Heather had remarked once years ago, he was afraid of being known. Being a ghost was easier. It did not require letting someone in. He could go on about his life and not have any strings attached. The trouble now was that he wanted the strings. He wanted to be with Sara. He wanted to be open with her, but old habits die hard. He placed the letter in the book at sonnet 47 and closed it. It was the book that Sara had given him. It was one of the personal items he had brought with him. It reminded him of Sara. Her inscription was in the front. He read it often.

_Gil,_

_I am not as good with words as you are, but I know you love them.  
I love it when you read them to me._

_Always, _

_Sara_

He placed the book in his suitcase and got ready for bed. His beard was fully grown in now. He wondered how she would react to it. He might even let her shave it off again. The memory of that evening brought a smile to his face and nearly the need for a cold shower. _Only one more week and I will be home…with Sara. _

She was his last thought that night. He fell asleep and had some rather intimate dreams of her. He could make it one more week.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Well, I think out couple has been apart long enough. There is dialogue from Law of Gravity in this one.**

**There is also smut. **

**Still don't own them.  
Thanks to Karen for beta reading this one. **

Sara was counting the days, one more week. She could do that. She would work and wait. He called her that night before her shift. It was late for him. He was working on his final lecture and wanted to run part of it past her. She enjoyed hearing it. It was actually an interesting class. She had heard most of it. He sounded tired. She was just about ready to leave when he called again.

"Gil, I really have to go to work."

"I know. I just wanted to say goodnight and be careful."

She smiled, "Get some rest. And I will be careful."

"Okay. I'm really quite tired. I just had to tell you that."

"Thank you and good night to you too."

"Sara, I…love you."

"I love you, too."

They hung up.

She was overjoyed to hear him say that. She knew he loved her.

She went to work with a bounce in her step for the first time in a month. Grissom would be home in a week.

Nick noticed the smile on her face all shift. She seemed happy. He was glad to see it.

"Hey, Sar, you seem happy today."

"Oh, yeah? I just got a good night's sleep. It does wonders for the attitude. You should try it."

She flashed him that Sara smile. They were working together tonight. Hopefully there would be no bugs.

Another few days passed. They talked at night and usually in the morning.

Grissom had checked into leaving a day earlier than planned. He wanted to surprise Sara.

He called the airline and it was possible to fly in a day earlier than he had planned. He quickly booked the reservation. He could hardly wait to get home. He packed his bag a day early. He didn't want to take a chance on missing his flight. Sitting right on top of his bag was the book that Sara had given him. He wanted to be sure to take it with him.

Home and Sara were the only thoughts that had any permanence in his brain that day. The grades had been turned in and the paperwork filled out to get paid. He'd said goodbye to everyone he needed to and headed to the airport. The next six hours were some of the longest he'd ever experienced. He was so close to getting home. He had come to some realizations during this trip. The first one being that he loved Sara more than anything. She was more important to him than anyone or anything else, even his job.

He was also ready to return to work. He needed the break, but in many ways he missed the work. He loved to solve the puzzles. He loved to bring closure to families. He'd always said that his job was to speak for the dead because they couldn't speak for themselves. It was important work and he was ready to do it again.

The flight seemed to take forever. The layover in Chicago took longer than expected. When the plane took off that time it was the final leg to getting to Sara.

It was dark when the plane started its decent toward Vegas. He could see the lights of the casinos. He knew Sara was down there somewhere. She was working now. He would drop his luggage off at home and then go to the lab to wait for her. He needed to take a few things back there anyway.

The captain announced the decent to the airport. He felt the landing gear touch the ground. Just a bit longer and he would be home.

The plane taxied to the terminal and they were allowed to exit the plane. His luggage was collected and a cab called. The drive to the house was not long. He paid the cabbie and collected his things.

He was home. The key slid into the lock and he opened the door. Hank bounded towards him until he realized who it was.

"Hi, Hank."

Grissom gave the dog a good belly scratching. At least Hank was happy to see him.

"I see you didn't go to the sitters today."

Hank just danced around happily.

"Let me put my luggage down and I will take you for a little walk."

He put his luggage in the bedroom and gathered the things he needed to take back to his office. His keys were waiting for him right where he left them. He spied their bed. The thought of what he would do to Sara later in that bed made him smile.

He took Hank out for a walk and then headed to the lab.

He walked in and saw Judy.

"Welcome back, Dr. Grissom."

"It's good to be back, Judy."

And it really was good to be back. He walked through the halls toward his office. From behind him he heard a familiar voice.

"There are no words to describe how glad I am you are back."

Grissom turned and quipped, "But I'm sure you'll find some."

"The lab almost went to hell in a handbag while you were sabaticalling. I'm sure you talked to Catherine, but just in case you didn't…lots of hurt feelings, so in case you talk to Nick…"

"I'd rather hear it from Catherine."

Grissom turned and headed into his office.

Hodges called out, "Fair enough, but, uh, permit me to say that the 'Seasonal Behaviors of the Walden Pond Swamp Mosquito' was an incredibly stimulating seminar."

"And you know this how?"

"I took your course online. It's free to alumni."

"Ohhh, you're Spanky."

Hodges nodded, "Seven-four-three. I aced the final didn't I?"

Grissom didn't say anything and headed to his office where a huge pile of mail awaited him. He sighed and went looking for something else to do. He really didn't want to tackle that right now. He noticed the cocoon in the aquarium in his office. He smiled.

Grissom saw Keppler, "Michael Keppler."

Keppler stopped.

Grissom continued, "Hi. Gil Grissom." They shook hands, "How's everybody treating you?"

"No complaints; you've got a great team."

They continue their conversation for a moment. Grissom asked about the evidence he had in hand. Keppler was rather evasive about it and the case. They parted and Grissom decided to inquire about Sara's whereabouts. He learned that she had pulled dumpster duty. It would be a while before she got back.

He decided to go help Warrick. It was just after dawn when he arrived at the victim's house.

Grissom walked and saw Warrick, "Hey. Want some help?"

Warrick smiled, "Welcome back."

"What do you got?"

"Well' I'm just following a lead of some serialized butt implants."

Grissom smiled, "I missed Las Vegas."

Warrick laughed and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm avoiding the paperwork and mail that's piled up on my desk." _And waiting for Sara to get back from her scene._

Grissom gloved up.

"Well, we got a, uh, dead prostitute's apartment. It's obvious that it's been ransacked and robbed. I'm thinking that she was the target of the double and the cop was collateral.

"Where would you like me to start?"

"You can hit the dinette. I haven't taken that yet. Unless you're avoiding her paperwork too. There's a lot of it."

Grissom picked up the mail and sorted through it.

"Well, she was past due on her electric bill, but seemed to have paid her phone bill on time."

As Warrick lifted a print from the phone he said, "Telephone. Hooker's lifeline. I'll telling you, whoever hit this place left a lot of prints."

Grissom decided to venture into what Hodges had told him.

"I, uh, heard that there was some friction in the lab while I was gone."

"You ever hear of 'reverse forensics?"

Grissom's head snapped up at that comment. He had heard of it and did not approve.

Warrick explained what happened and the results. Grissom nodded his head.

"That's why I don't like it. Too big a risk and then we lose creditability."

"Yeah, there are still some hard feelings over that one, but we're working through it. It's about trust and some of that was lost."

"Yeah."

Grissom wondered why Sara had not said anything about it to him. He checked his watch. They were just about finished there and he was anxious to get back to the lab to see Sara.

He helped Warrick run the prints and they identified the suspect. Warrick went to PD to interview the suspect. Grissom begged off stating that he needed to get started on the paperwork. In reality he didn't want to miss Sara. The time passed slowly. He could not seem to concentrate on what he was doing.

Suddenly she appeared in the hall. His heart skipped. He didn't remember getting up and rushing into the hallway.

"Sara."

She turned around.

_Shit, what the hell are you going here?_

She was shocked as hell he was there. She knew she smelled. This is not how she wanted their reunion to be. He was not supposed to be here until tomorrow.

She hid her shock, "Hey. You're back."

Grissom looked at her hungrily, "Yeah."

He took a step toward her, but she backed away. She held up the evidence. She knew she smelled terrible. She could smell herself.

"Uh, I've…I've been out at a, um…I've been at…"

He finished it for her, "A garbage dump."

She could not think. She wanted to retreat from him and clean up. Her head was swimming. Then she noticed the beard.

She smiled, "Yeah. It's so obvious, isn't it? Nice, um….you look good."

She continued to back up as Grissom perused her. The look in his eyes was one she had seen before, but only in private.

He asked, "Did you put the cocoon in my office?"

Thankful for the change in subject, she answered, "Cool, dry, not a lot of light. It seemed like the right place for it."

"I think you're going to be surprised when it hatches."

"I have no doubt."

Grissom stopped walking, suddenly remembering where he was.

"I'll see you later."

She looked him dead in the eye, "Yeah, you will."

His heart skipped a beat as he watched her walk away toward the evidence locker.

Sara hurried though the logging in of what she collected and headed for the showers. She could hardly stand herself. Leave it to Grissom to show up a day early.

She cleaned up in the locker room and changed her clothes.

The old ones were deposited in a plastic bag for cleaning.

She walked down the hall toward his office. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Why was she so nervous? It was just Gil.

He was sitting at his desk looking though his mail when she stopped at the door.

"Hi, there."

He looked up. A huge grin split his face.

"Hi. You certainly smell better."

She smiled, "Thanks. Sorry about earlier. I could hardly stand myself. I didn't want to get you all smelly too."

"I wouldn't have minded you know."

"I know."

"I'm, um, ready to go now if you are."

"Um, sure. I can do the rest of this tomorrow. I really just came in to see you. I missed you, Sara."

"I missed you too. Are you hungry?"

"Not for food."

Her jaw fell open. He had never said anything like that to her at work.

He smiled a salacious smile at her. He knew he had shocked her.

"Come on, let's go home." It took everything he had not to kiss her right there in the office.

She followed without a word.

He directed her to his car. "We can take mine. We'll come back for yours later."

She nodded and followed him.

He opened the car door for her and helped her in.

He then slid into his seat. It was only then that he permitted himself to touch her. He took her hand and kissed the palm. It was a gesture that Sara loved.

"Are you hungry?" he asked her.

"Not for food."

She flashed the Sidle smile at him.

The drive home was one of sweet agony. Both longed to touch the other. By the time they pulled into the parking lot both them ached with desire. The past month of awkwardness forgotten. He opened the car door for her. She stood but he did not move out of the way. Instead he kissed her. His lips devouring hers, her knees nearly buckled.

"Gil…"

He silenced her with another kiss.

"God, Sara I missed you."

Their hands roamed over each other as they made it through the door.

He pinned her against the door. His hand found her breast.

She moaned as he massaged it.

He ached to feel her skin. He pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside. He then removed her bra.

"Sara…" he admired the view for a moment then he placed wet kisses along her collarbone and down her neck.

Sara could hardly stand it. She reached for the buttons on his shirt and slowly undid them. Her fingers seemed to have stopped working together. Once she had removed his shirt she kissed along his chest.

She fumbled with the button on his pants and managed to get them unbuttoned. She could feel his erection straining against the fabric. God she wanted to feel him right now.

She hooked her thumbs in the waistband and worked them down over his hips. As they hit the floor he stepped out of them. Hers were next. They stood there for a moment before he pulled her to the bedroom. He wanted to take his time. He wanted to show her how much he loved her and missed her.

She trembled as they entered the bedroom.

He cupped her face and kissed her. His tongue demanded entry into her mouth and she granted it.

His desire was evident. He knew how to please her and would pull out all the stops. This was about reconnecting and recommitting to each other.

He ran his hands down her back and pulled her close to him by her hips. She could feel him hard against her hip. He laid her down on the bed. Her body tingled with anticipation. She wanted him to hurry, but he had no intention of doing that.

"Sara, you are so beautiful."

He slowly laid down beside her. She wanted him now.

He kissed her neck and then down her chest. He took one nipple into his mouth.

She arched against his mouth and moaned. It was sweet torture.

His hand found the other nipple. She was sure she was going to burst out of her skin.

He then kissed down her belly, inching ever lower.

Her knees fell open on their own. He shifted slightly and kissed down one thigh and then up the other. He stopped when he got to her core. She was ready for him. The scent was intoxicating. He lingered for a moment before he reached for her. His touch set her on fire. She bucked against him. He dipped one finger in and caused a flood of pleasure.

She thrashed as he found her pleasure spot with his tongue. She was close. Her body was tingling from the sensations. She felt the tightening of her climax beginning. She grabbed his head as her climax washed over her.

Grissom knew what was happening and let her ride out her pleasure. When she was done she laid there breathless.

He kissed up her belly to her mouth. She kissed him hard.

Her hand slipped between them and grabbed his erection and positioned him at her opening.

Their eyes locked as he entered her.

He moaned as he started to move within her. She met him movement for movement.

She grabbed the back of his neck as she felt her orgasm building again.

His thrusts became stronger as the tightening began in his lower belly.

"Come for me, honey." was all Sara had to say. Her orgasm began in waves at the same time his did.

He collapsed on top of her breathing in her scent. They stayed that way for a long while just enjoying being close. Sara kissed him.

He traced small circles on her stomach. She shivered. Without a word he pulled the sheet over them both.

He caressed her cheek, staring deeply into her eyes. That look said so much. Words were not needed to say what was in either one of their hearts.

"Rest Sara, we can both use some sleep."

He rolled onto his back and she laid her head on his chest listening to him breathing. His breath became slow and even. She knew he was sleeping. She kissed his chest before she let sleep take her away too. They were finally home, together. She would talk to him about the beard later.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Thanks for Reading. Thanks to Karen for Beta reading it. She is the Bomb. I couldn't do it without her.**

**There is Dialogue from Law of Gravity and Monster in the Box in this one. **

**No Smut sorry.**

Grissom and Sara both slept for hours. It felt good to be together again. The alarm went off. Sara was on the schedule for tonight. Grissom was not. He was only supposed to get back today.

Sara groaned as she turned off the alarm. She started to get out of bed when strong arms pulled her back down.

Grissom kissed her, "Good morning."

Sara smiled and kissed him back, "Good morning."

"I missed waking up with you."

"Me too."

Grissom kissed her again. He brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her neck.

Sara could feel her body respond to him.

"Gil, please. I have to be to work in an hour and if you keep that up, I won't make it."

He smiled, "That was my plan."

He went back to kissing her.

"Gilbert, stop it."

He pretended to be hurt, but he was just teasing her.

She kissed the end of his nose, "Rain check on that until later."

"Okay."

She got up and padded to the bathroom. Grissom followed her.

"What are you doing? You don't have to work."

"Remember, I brought you home in my car. I have to take you to work."

"Oh, right."

"Besides, I called and told them I was home and that I would be coming back in a day early."

"You sure?"

"I am, besides, that way I get to spend some more time with you."

She smiled as she stepped into the shower. He followed her.

The water felt good.

"Gil, about that beard…"

"What? You don't like it?"

"Um…"

"I like it…kept my face warm."

"It's kind of scratchy."

He laughed when she said that.

"I thought you liked the way it tickled."

She giggled at him, "Yeah, well…"

"I'm not ready to shave it yet."

"Well then can you at least trim it? You kinda have this cave man thing going."

He laughed, "So you don't like it then?"

"We can talk about it later. We have to get going."

"Sara, I'm so glad to be home…with you."

She turned and kissed him.

"I'm glad you're here too. Now take your shower. We have to get going."

Grissom laughed. It made Sara happy to hear that. It had been a long time since she heard that sound. She knew for sure that his going away was the right thing. He was back now.

They finished showering and got a bite to eat before they went to work.

They continued to work on the case of the dead prostitute. The case was breaking open. There was a gun found in the hotel room.

Nick ran the prints and they came back to Keppler. There was some confusion as to how that happened. Catherine, Warrick and Nick were in Grissom's office trying to figure out how Keppler's finger prints could be on the gun. They decided that they would have to treat him like a suspect. Wendy came in with DNA evidence. They decided to extend the search to the east coast.

They tracked him with the GPS in his phone and on his Denali. They knew he was near Henderson. They discovered that McCarty and Keppler knew each other and in fact were very close.

Keppler had now gone from an officer to a suspect.

Catherine took Sara and went back to the girl's house. While they were there Keppler called Catherine. She told him to come in but he said he couldn't. He hung up on her. He was outside the Blue Siren, the hotel she used for business. It was the same hotel that Catherine and Sara had found paperwork from in the prostitute's apartment.

Sara was on her way back to the lab when Grissom called her.

"Sidle."

"Hey. What did you find?"

"We found that she works out of the Blue Siren Motel. Catherine is on her way there now. I'm on my way back to the lab."

"Okay. I'll see you here."

"What are you doing?"

He sighed, "Paperwork. I can't avoid it any longer. If the pile of mail on my desk gets any larger, there won't be room left for me in the office."

She giggled, "Sorry. I'll see you in a few minutes."

Sara hung up.

Grissom picked up a large box that was addressed to him. Just as he was going to open it, his phone rang. It was Catherine.

"Grissom"

"He just called, sounded desperate. Like a man with nothing to live for and nothing to lose."

"Well, he's not your priority. Find the witness."

"Yeah. I'm on my way."

They hung up. Grissom decided to head to the motel as well. This just had the smell of something that was going to go bad.

As he was driving there he heard the officer down call go out. _Shit_ he thought. He knew this was going to go bad. He did not know who had been shot. When he arrived at the scene the paramedics were there. His first thought was that Catherine was the one who got shot. He was relieved when he saw her running alongside the gurney. It was Keppler he saw being worked on. He was not breathing on his own and his heart had stopped beating. They were unable to revive him. Catherine watched in horror as they pronounced him dead. She began to cry and Grissom put his arm around her. He led her away to his car. She was in no shape to drive. They got back to the lab just as Nick and Warrick were headed out to find his cell phone. Archie had a fix on it.

Catherine was stunned still.

Sara walked in to the break room as Catherine came in.

"Catherine, are you okay?" Sara asked.

"No, Mike's dead."

Sara whispered, "I heard."

Sara offered Catherine a cup of water.

"He took a bullet that was meant for me. McCarty shot at me and Mike stepped in front of it."

Sara nodded and listened as Catherine talked. Sara drove her home when she was ready to go. It was nearly dawn. Grissom followed them in his Denali. They told her they would get her Denali and bring it back to the lab.

Once they were back at the lab it was about 9 in the morning. They were both exhausted and ready to head home.

Grissom said he had one stop to make on the way home and he would meet Sara there. She nodded and said she would pick up Hank on the way.

Sara had taken a shower by the time Grissom got home. She was dressed in one of his t-shirts and a pair of lounge pants.

Grissom grinned when he saw what she was wearing. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist

"You know you have your own clothes. Why are you always wearing mine?"

She smiled, "I like the way yours smell…like you."

She spun around in his arms and kissed him.

"I kinda got into the habit when you were gone. I slept in one of your shirts every night."

"Oh, really?"

She nodded.

"So, what did you stop and get? It smells really good."

"Chinese."

"I love you."

He knew she loved Chinese food.

"I know." He kissed her.

As they ate Sara asked about Catherine.

"Is Catherine going to be alright?"

"She's tough. She'll be fine. So, tell me about what happened at the lab while I was gone."

Sara stopped mid chew.

"What do you mean?"

"With the reverse forensics."

"Oh."

"How come you didn't mention it when we talked?"

"I didn't want to spoil our talks. And besides, if I had told you, you would only worry about it."

"Sara, I wish you would have told me."

"I'm sorry. I just knew you needed the break. If you knew about it, you would not have gotten the break you needed."

He understood her reasoning, not that he agreed with her. He just nodded and let it go. It was water under the bridge now.

"Is everyone okay with it now?"

"Yeah. I think so. It took a bit, but I think we ended up okay with everything. We just felt betrayed. Earning trust is not easy and it's even harder to get it back once it's gone."

He nodded.

"Anyway it failed to work. The DA refused to press charges. The guy walked on that murder. Luckily we were able to get him on the murder of the woman in the apartment."

"I don't blame her. Never mess with the evidence. It never lies."

She leaned over the counter and kissed him.

"I know. I knew you wouldn't have any part of that kind of thing. We figured out what was happening and called them on it. Catherine and Keppler were ordered by the undersheriff to do it."

Grissom was silent. He would not have done it. It was wrong. Manipulating evidence was never a means to justify the end.

"Thanks for helping Catherine today. She needed someone."

"Like I said we got through it. She came clean in the end. Nick had a really hard time with it for a while, but even he seems better now."

"Well, then I guess we can drop it."

CSICSICSICSCSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI

Grissom walked into the lab the next day determined to clear the mail and paperwork off his desk. Too many things had gotten in the way.

He started with the mail. He opened about twenty letters all of which could wait. He opened the big box that he started to open yesterday when he got interrupted.

What was inside left him speechless. It was another miniature. It was of a woman on a couch in what looked like an office or a lobby or maybe even a living room. He wasn't sure. The first person he saw was Catherine. He called her in to look at it. He asked if anyone had worked a scene like it while he was gone. Then he noticed there was a newspaper. It was dated for the day after tomorrow. It had not happened yet. This was a death threat.

Catherine left to find the others. They were all called into the layout room for assignments. Grissom called the Sheriff and Brass. They had to find the building and the woman before it was too late.

Grissom assigned them all tasks.

"Nick and Warrick, you get out there and look for that building. I know it's going be tougher at night. See if you can find anything in the computers."

"Sara I need you to go over the evidence from the last scenes and go through the stuff we collected after Dell killed himself. Go to the evidence vault and get everything you can find. We have to look at everything again. I'll get you a copy of the video link Dell sent me."

"Okay. Can I have Greg help me when he gets in?"

"Sure."

"Catherine you're with me on the miniature. Run down the return address from the package and see what we get."

"Okay, I'll get back to you."

They all left but Grissom and Sara.

She was concerned. She had seen what this case had done to him before. She hoped it didn't send him back there again.

"Hey. You okay?"

"What…oh yeah…I'm fine."

"The Miniature Killer is back?"

"I don't know. It would appear so."

"I thought it was over when Dell killed himself. I guess we were wrong."

"I'd say we were."

"I'm…are you going to be okay?" she didn't want to say that she was worried, but she was.

"I'm fine, really."

She turned to go.

"Sara."

She stopped and turned to him.

"Thanks for worrying about me."

She nodded and went to the evidence locker.

Grissom and Catherine found a picture from the Izzy Delancy murder on the shelf. They also found the pillow from the Penny Garden murder and the window picture from the Processing plant. There were words on the surface of them. They spelled out _you were wrong_. The killer was still out there. Dell was just covering for someone.

It took Sara most of her shift to find what she needed. The sun was coming up when Greg met her there. They took it back to the lab for analysis.

What they found was video tapes of children with Dell. It appeared they were his children, but it turned out they were foster children. Dell did have one son, Lionel Dell. Sara tracked him down and went to talk to him at work.

They discovered that he was estranged from his father. He had gone as far as changing his name when he turned 18. Sara went to interview him. There was no love loss between father and son.

Nick and Warrick found the building and the woman. They got her out before the killer struck. A decoy was placed in the apartment and died. The killer had set a time delay trap. She died of carbon monoxide poisoning.

The next day they found the intended victim dead in the same place. It was determined her brother killed her as a mercy killing because she was ill. He was not the miniature killer. That killer was still out there. The brother had gone to the press and now the miniatures were public knowledge. It would make catching this killer all that more difficult.

Sara showed Grissom the video tapes she and Archie had cleaned up.

Sara began, "We reran the footage several times to get a head count. Assuming they're all Dell foster kids, there's thirteen of them.

"At this birthday party?"

"Yeah. Lionel only remembered the first names, and only a few of those. Getting DHS records is going to be tough. Judges hate giving them out unless we can demonstrate pressing need…even then they're spotty. And a log of foster kids change their names when they age out.

"Ernie Dell confessed and killed himself to protect someone he loved. And that someone has murdered five people."

They watched the kids on the video tape for a moment.

"Eenie, meeny, miney, mo. Catch a monster by the toe."

"Yeah. That may be the only way we catch this one."

"I feel helpless. We have no clues and no suspects, well live ones."

"What do you want to do with all this stuff?"

"Keep it here. It's now an open case again."

"Are you going to back to not sleeping?"

"Sara, I…"

He took a deep breath.

"I know you're worried. I know you don't want me to get obsessed with this again. I'll be careful."

"Are you ready to go home?"

"Yeah. I guess. Do you want to go out to dinner?"

"Sure. Since we did work a double and I have not had anything since breakfast. Let's go. We'll talk about shaving off that beard."

"I like my beard."

He pouted as he followed her out of the lab.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: There is dialogue from Fallen Idols.**

**Thanks to Karen for the beta reading. **

**Smut Alert (For my friend across the pond--Miss Sarah you know who you are.)**

Their dinner was very relaxing. It was good just to be together again. They went home and enjoyed an evening together. They watched a movie and relaxed on the couch. It was a rare night they had off together. Friday nights were usually busy. Grissom was on call. They went to bed about midnight.

The phone woke them both about 6:00 in the morning. There were two missing kids from one of the high schools in the area. One was a basketball player and the other was his girlfriend. Their parents were in Brass' office filing a missing persons report on both of the students.

Grissom got to the scene as Brass called him.

Grissom grumbled, "These kids have only been missing for fourteen hours. They could have eloped to Mexico."

Brass countered, "I know it's a favor, but…

"All right. But you owe me for getting me out of bed on a Saturday morning."

Officer Mitchell met him in the parking lot.

Grissom questioned, "Mitch?"

Officer Mitchell pointed, "This is Ryan Lansco's assigned parking spot. He drives a blue '72 Ford van. It's missing."

Grissom was grumpy, "What do you want me to test?"

Officer Mitchell pointed to some dark drops on top of an oil spill in the parking spot.

"Doesn't look like transmission fluid."

Grissom open his kit and put on some gloves.

He asked Mitchell a question. "Did you have assigned parking when you were in high school?"

"No, I didn't even have a car."

Grissom swabbed the spot and tested it. It turned pink.

"Yeah, it's blood. I hope they're in Mexico."

Officer Mitchell nodded in agreement.

Grissom called Brass.

"Brass."

"We got blood. You have any more information for me?"

"No, not yet. We're looking. Let me know what you find. We have Megan's best friend coming in to see what she knows. Megan was supposed to be at her house, but didn't show up."

"Okay, I'm calling Nick to help. He's next up."

Brass answered, "Thanks."

Grissom called Nick to the scene and then called Sara.

"Sidle."

"Hey, I'm gonna be longer that I thought. We got some missing high school kids."

"You need me to come in?"

"Yeah. I think so. I was hoping you could rest, but we need all hands on this one."

"I'll meet you at the lab then."

"Okay, and Sara, I'm sorry."

"I know, and it's okay."

"Thanks, I owe you another date."

"I'll hold you to that."

Grissom chuckled, "Bye."

"Bye."

Grissom looked around as he waited for Nick. Once Nick arrived they began a thorough search for evidence. They found lots of it. Grissom took back what they found to the lab for testing. Including the blood samples they found.

Grissom caught up with Sara there.

"Hey, did you find them yet?"

"No, we found evidence of a struggle though. Lots of blood. We are testing it now."

"What do you need me to do?"

"Start looking at phone records with Catherine."

Grissom's phone rang just then.

"Grissom"

"Hey, it's Nick."

"What'd you find?"

"We found evidence of an accident."

"I'm on my way."

They hung up and his phone rang again. It was Sofia.

"Grissom."

"Grissom, we found Ryan's van abandoned in the hills."

"I'll send Sara out to process it."

"Thanks."

She gave Grissom the location and he passed it on to Sara.

"Take Warrick with you."

"Okay, I'll let you know what we find."

"Thanks, I'm on my way back out to the high school. They found evidence of an accident."

"Bye."

He headed back and they began looking for Megan. They found her in the ditch off the side of the road. She was alive. She was paralyzed from the waist down.

Sara and Warrick found an empty van. There was a bloody sleeping bag but no Ryan. They took the van back to be processed.

Sara stood looking at the van, "High school kid with a van. We could have half the senior class in here."

"Yeah, a bunch of minors that won't be in the system. That'll be helpful."

Sara looked at the front seat and then she opened the driver's door. It was moved forward.

"Ryan is six feet. Whoever was driving must have adjusted the seat."

She pushed it back and found a pink cell phone.

"Hello."

"What you got?"

"I got a cell phone….battery's dead, so I don't know who it belongs to. But something's telling me that pink is not Ryan's color."

"I don't know." Warrick hold up a pink thong, "I think he might be always thinking pink."

He took a picture of it.

"If these all belong to one girl, she's got nothing left to wear."

"You know, when I was in college, I had this boyfriend and I thought we were monogamous. And one night, during the post-coital panty search he handed me a pair of underwear that wasn't mine."

"Woosh. How'd he explain that one?"

Sara grimaced, "He said they belonged to his sister."

"Yeah, right."

Sara grimaced again, "I know."

"Let's hope your taste in men has improved."

She nodded, "Yeah." _If you only knew_.

Just then Grissom walked in. He heard the end of the conversation. His eyebrow went up but he said nothing.

Warrick bagged the panties, "I'll get these to Wendy to test. Oh, hey Grissom. Sara can fill you in. I have to get these to Wendy."

"Hey, Grissom."

"What'd you find?"

"Panties, lots of them and a cell phone. I'll get it to Archie."

"What was that conversation all about?"

"What do you mean?"

"About your taste in men improving?"

She laughed and explained it again.

Grissom pouted a bit. He knew she was not a virgin, but he didn't like being reminded of the fact.

She noticed the scowl on his face.

"Are you jealous?"

"No."

She laughed, "You are."

"I am not."

"Gil that was a long time ago. And my taste in men has most definitely improved."

She flashed that Sidle smile at him and took the cell phone to Archie.

Grissom was left there to stew.

It was not the end of this conversation, but the lab was not the place to have it.

He sulked as he headed back to his office.

Archie discovered that the phone belonged to Sheila Latham, Megan's best friend.

Brass called to say that Sheila Latham was dead. She died at the police station waiting to talk to Brass again.

At her autopsy they discovered that she had swallowed a memory card for a camera and that she had crabs. Crabs were also found on the sleeping bag in Ryan's van. They tested the crabs and found DNA from several different sources. Ryan, Shelia, Megan and the photography teacher from the high school and several unknown females.

The memory card contained a video of Ryan saying some incriminating things about his sexual behavior and that he had passed crabs to several people.

Another student confessed to making that video with Sheila.

They could not find Ryan. Nick was trying to get Charlie to confess. He confessed but did not know where Ryan was.

They started to look at the teacher as more evidence pointed towards her.

They found her in a storage shed with Ryan. Both of them were dead.

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Grissom and Sara headed home. They ate dinner. Grissom was quiet.

"Why are you so quiet?" Sara began.

"I'm fine."

"Is this about the panty thing? Gil, we both have a past."

"I know."

"I chose you. And like I said, my taste in men has most definitely improved."

He shrugged.

"Now, what are we going to do about that beard?"

"Nothing. I like my beard."

"Well, I don't like beard burn."

She raised an eyebrow. He looked at her but said nothing.

He rubbed his chin.

"Does it bother you that much?"

"Want me to shave it?"

His eyebrows hit the roof.

She smiled seductively at him. She got up from the table and took his hand. He stood and followed without saying a word.

"Come with me."

He nodded. He remembered the last time he shaved off his beard and hoped this would end the same way.

They went to the bathroom. Sara unbuttoned Grissom's shirt and took it off. She then got his t-shirt and had him put it on. She then lathered his beard.

Grissom began to feel the familiar stirrings of desire. Sara took the razor from the sink and turned to him.

"Do you trust me?"

"Intimately."

He meant that. He did trust her with his life and his heart.

He turned his head and she began shaving him. He watched her as she gently removed the beard. When she was done, she took a warm washcloth and cleaned the shaving cream from his face. She then ran her hand down his cheek.

He took her hand and kissed her palm.

Her desire was building as well. She closed her eyes as he moved in and kissed her neck.

He laid his cheek against hers and whispered in her ear, "Is that better?"

She whispered back, "mmhmm."

He kissed her, devouring her. He slipped his hands under her shirt and pulled it over her head. He then found her breasts and took one into his mouth.

She groaned as he did it.

She pulled him back up and kissed him.

He then led her to the bedroom. Clothes disappeared along the way.

Grissom laid down on the bed and Sara straddled him.

"Sara…"

She hushed him with a kiss. She demaned entry with her tongue. He granted it. She cupped his cheeks and brown met blue.

"Sara, I love you. I know I don't always tell you ."

"Shhhh."

"No, I want…I want to tell you. I want you to hear me say it."

"Gil, I know you love me. I have no doubts about that."

He smiled at her and kissed her. His hands began to roam. He pulled her down on top of him. She could feel him hard against her center.

"Sara…"

She nodded as he entered her. She took all of him as they began to move. She rocked against him. He met her every movement.

She closed her eyes as she felt the familiar tightening.

"Gil…" her words became incoherent as her orgasm took her away.

Grissom let her ride it out before he rolled her over without breaking their contact. He took control. He kissed her again and moved faster. She met his movements. He knew he was close. She tightened herself around him as he emptied himself into her. He whispered her name against her neck as he caught his breath.

They laid there together. No words were needed. He slipped from her and rolled over on his side. She rolled to face him.

"Was it worth losing the beard?"

He laughed. She loved it when he really laughed. He didn't do that enough.

He kissed her.

"If that is how it ends, you can shave me anytime."

It was her turn to laugh.

"I love you Gilbert Grissom."

He smiled, "You know my mother was the only other person allowed to call me that."

"Why? Don't you like your name?"

"I like it fine, but it reminds me of getting in trouble as a child."

She laughed again.

"You think that's funny?"

She nodded, "It's cute." She kissed him.

Grissom rolled onto his back and pulled Sara close against him. She rested her head on his chest.

"So when are you going to take me on that date you owe me?"

"I'll see what I can do with the schedule. I want it to be when neither of us has to work."

"You do make the schedule, Gil, take care of it."

He smiled, "I will."

Sara yawned. She was tired.

"Rest, Sara. We have to work tonight."

She nodded and fell asleep. Grissom slipped from the bed when she was asleep.

He headed for his office. There he began looking at the miniature cases again. He needed to get into the head of this killer. His sleep was filled with images of miniatures. He needed to catch this killer before they killed again.

He began to formulate a plan. To get into the killer's head he would build a miniature. If he understood why they did what they did, maybe he could get out in front and catch the killer. His office, that's what he would build. He began researching on the internet places to find miniature parts. He was surprised to find a large community on the internet. He found a place online right in Las Vegas.

He did not realize how much time had passed until Sara came to find him. It was time for work.

"Did you get any sleep?"

His head snapped up when he heard her.

"What?"

"Did you get any sleep?"

"A little." he lied.

"What are you working on?"

"Research."

"On what?"

He knew he was caught.

"On building a miniature."

"Gil…"

"Sara, I just want to understand why he does what he does. I think if I do that I might be able to get out ahead of him."

"Don't become obsessed."

"I won't. Now let's get ready for work."


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: Thanks for reading. This one took longer than I thought to get up. Thanks again to Karen for the reading. **

**No smut, There is dialogue from Empty Eyes in this one.**

The weeks passed. Grissom researched how to build a miniature. He visited the shop he had located in Vegas that specialized in miniature parts. He had enlisted the help of the owner in how to build one and had eventually asked some questions about the possibility of the killer buying parts from that store. He had shown pictures of the miniatures to the owner of the store, but he did not recognize anything specific.

Grissom was working in his office at the lab measuring the exact dimensions of the space.

Sara came in just as he was finishing.

"What are you doing?"

"Measuring."

"I can see that. Why are you measuring your office? Getting new furniture?"

"No. I need to know the exact dimensions so I can begin building my miniature."

"Grissom…"

"Sara, look, before you get started, I am not getting obsessed. I am just trying to understand what is going on in the head of this killer."

She sighed. She knew the battle was already lost. He had made up his mind. He was going to do this and she would not be able to stop him.

"Did you come here for a reason?" Grissom asked her.

"Oh, yeah. Here are the results on the Stevens case. The bullets match. We got him."

"Good work."

"Thanks."

"Hey, I believe I owe you a date. We are both off tomorrow night. How about dinner?"

Sara smiled, "I'd love to."

"Good. I'll make a reservation."

"Ohhh, reservations?"

"Well, I do owe you. Our last date got interrupted."

"Yeah, I remember. So, what's on tap for tonight?"

"I have a 419 on Freemont, a B&E in Seven Hills and a suspicious cercs at the Monaco."

"Ok."

"Have the team meet me in the break room in 10 minutes."

"Sure."

Grissom met the team and handed out the assignments. He had given Catherine and Warrick the 419 and Greg and Nick the B&E. He and Sara took the case at the Monaco. It turned out to be a suicide. The man had lost his life savings at the tables and took the easy way out. They had that one solved in one shift.

The team met for breakfast in the morning before they headed home. They went to the diner. It was good company.

On the way home, Grissom stopped at the hobby shop to pick up some supplies for the miniature. When he got home he began calculating the measurements for the miniature he was building. Sara watched for a few minutes before walking out of the room.

Grissom hardly noticed her leave which did not sit well with Sara. He was beginning to get obsessed and she knew it. She was worried that he would spend hours working on that miniature. The more she thought about it, the more upset she got.

When Grissom finally emerged from his office, she was downright pissed off.

She got into bed and turned her face to the wall.

Grissom changed and got into bed.

She huffed when the bed rocked and he tugged on the covers.

"What's wrong, Sara?"

"Nothing." She said between tight lips.

"Sara, what are you upset about?"

"You said you would not get obsessed with that miniature."

"I'm not."

"You just spent 6 hours working on it."

He did not realize that it had been that long.

"I'm sorry."

"Fine. Goodnight."

"Sara, don't be angry."

"Goodnight, Gil."

"Sara. I'm sorry. I will be more cognizant of time. I promise."

She rolled over to face him, "I don't want you to get the way you were before you left. I worry about you."

He reached out and stroked her cheek, "I know and I promise to be more careful."

She leaned in and kissed him.

"Get some sleep. You owe me a date tonight."

Grissom chuckled, "Yes, Dear."

He pulled her close and they fell asleep.

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Grissom woke first. He had made reservations at Sara's favorite vegetarian restaurant for that night. He called to make sure everything was arranged. He was on call tonight but hoped nothing would come up to disturb their evening.

He was at his desk reading when Sara walked in.

"See look, Shakespeare not miniatures."

Sara laughed, "Okay, okay. What time are the reservations for tonight?"

"8:30. How about a shower before we go?"

"Okay, but we don't have time for anything else, mister."

"I know…we can save that for later."

He gave her a wink.

She smiled back.

Dinner was great and they had decided get some movies and watch them. They had just started the second one when Grissom's cell phone rang. It was 4 am.

"Damn it. This better be important."

Sara pressed pause on the DVD player and waited for him to answer the call.

"Grissom….You're kidding right?...No, I'll be there in twenty minutes."

Sara knew what had happened, "Work?"

"I'm sorry. Grave is tapped out and a 419 just got called in."

"I know. I understand. You were the one on call."

He sighed and kissed her.

"I'll call you later."

"Call me if you need me."

"I will."

About thirty minutes later dispatch called Sara and told her that there were six bodies at the scene and they needed her to come in. They were all show girls. She was to meet Grissom at the scene. It was an all hands on deck. The others were at scenes and would come as soon and they finished what they were doing.

Sara arrived at the house. Warrick was already there. She walked into the dark house. She could smell the blood in the air. It was eerily quiet. As she was looking around the phone rang and startled Sara. She saw the girls' bags on the floor. There was a message for Cammie, one of the girls. She had made principal dancer. _Too bad she will never hear that _Sara thought as she continued to walk through the house. She headed upstairs.

Warrick was taking pictures in one of the bedrooms. He turned and spoke to Sara.

"Hell of a way to spend your night off."

"How many bodies you have in there?"

"Three…Grissom's down the hall, first door on your right. Just follow the blood."

Sara turned and headed for the next bedroom.

She shined her light in as saw Grissom kneeling next to one of the bodies.

"My date got canceled."

He shone his light on her.

"I'm sure he had a good excuse."

Sara stepped in to the room. She noticed the body on the bed. They both turned serious.

"Looks like sexual assault. Bound, pants pulled down."

"Yeah."

"Where do you want me?"

"Next bedroom. There's another body in there."

"Well, that makes five. The dispatch said there were six."

Grissom stood up.

"According to Brass, the boyfriend of one of the victims found the bodies. Said there were six roommates, all showgirls. Evidently, one didn't come home."

"She picked the right night."

Grissom nodded.

"I'll start in the next room."

"Okay. Dave should be here soon."

Sara walked into the third bed room and saw the dead girl on the bed. She put down her kit and noticed that there was a blood smear on the floor next to the other bed. She knelt down and looked under the bed

Suddenly, a bloody hand swiped at her, scratching her cheek.

She pulled back and pulled her gun. She hollered, "Hot scene! Suspect under the bed!"

Grissom heard her. He bolted from his room to hers.

"Sara!"

Sara looked under the bed again pointing her weapon.

From under the bed comes a weak voice, "Please…please help me. Please."

Sara dropped her weapon and reached for Cammie's hand.

"Hold on." She turned and yelled to Grissom, "Victim down! Call an ambulance!"

Grissom turned and called dispatch on his radio. He requested an ambulance to his location.

Sara got her out from under the bed. There was a deep laceration on her neck.

Sara turned her attention to Cammie, "You're safe now, okay? You're safe now. It's going to be okay."

"Help me. Help me."

Grissom called from the doorway, "The ambulance is on the way."

Sara nodded and took Cammie's hand.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Ca…Cam…Cammie."

"Cammie, I'm Sara. Who did this to you, Cammie?"

"Mm-an…mm-an."

"The man, what did he look like?"

"Poor w…poor wine…"

Sara could not understand what Cammie was trying to tell her.

Cammie tried to clarify, "Breast…Breast…knife."

Sara tried to make sense of what Cammie said, "He-he stabbed you in the chest?"

Cammie shook her head, "No."

Sara shouted to Grissom, "I need some help in here."

Cammie whispered, "Bye…Fin.." and died.

"No, no, no."

Grissom rushed back in, "Sara?"

"She's gone."

The paramedics came in right behind Grissom and confirmed what Sara already knew.

It was then Grissom noticed the bloody scratch on Sara's cheek.

"Sara, what happened to your cheek?"

Sara's hand touched her cheek. She didn't realize that she was bleeding.

Grissom turned to the Paramedics, "Please look at her cheek."

"I'm fine really."

"Please, Sara, let them check you out…for me."

She sighed, "Fine."

The paramedics looked at her and cleared her. It was a superficial but long. It did not require bandaging. They cleaned it and had her apply pressure until the bleeding stopped.

Grissom had gone out to his car while they checked her out and gotten his spare jacket. It was cold and Sara was a bit shocky still. What he really wanted to do was take her home, but that was not possible.

He came back with the jacket as the paramedics finished with her. He draped the jacket around her shoulders. He placed a protective arm around her as he walked her outside.

Brass was waiting to talk to her.

He asked her what Cammie had said. Sara reported the little that Cammie had said.

Greg walked by and looked at her as he walked into the house.

Grissom had gone back to work but could not help thinking about Sara. He found her later outside.

"Sara, you okay?"

"Uh, yeah." She lied.

Grissom gave her a hard look.

"Really, Grissom, I'm fine. I just want to get back to work."

"I think you should go home, Sara."

"No, I'm fine."

He sighed. He knew they needed the help.

"Why don't you take the outside?"

He put a hand on her arm. She looked up at him with sad eyes. It broke his heart.

"You sure you're okay to do this?"

"Yes." She snapped at him. "Sorry. I just want to get back to work okay?"

"Why don't you take the perimeter?"

She nodded and went to process.

She was still shaken up, but the scene had to be processed. Work would help. It always had. She inwardly thanked Grissom for giving her the outside. She wasn't ready just yet to go back into the house.

It was just before dawn when she walked around the house to check out the back yard. She found a chair jammed under the door knob of the back door. She dusted it for prints but only got smudges. She printed the rest of the area and got some prints and more smudges. They would have to be compared to the victims' prints and those of the boy friend who found them.

By the time Sara was done. It was day light. She moved the chair and opened the door. It led to the kitchen. In there she found Nick processing.

They found a wine bottle. It triggered what Cammie had said about 'poor wine'. They would get a tox report that would tell them if the girls had been forced to drink wine.

Nick tried to console Sara. He could tell she was still shaken.

"It was good that you were there for her Sara. She didn't have to die alone."

"We usually show up too late to meet the victim."

Nick nodded and went back to processing.

Sara bagged the wine bottle and moved on to print the kitchen. There were more of the smudges that she had found outside.

She found Grissom with David getting the bodies into the coroner's van.

He noticed how tired she looked.

"Sara?"

She put her hand up, "I'm fine. I finished the perimeter. I'll go back to the morgue and begin processing the bodies."

"I don't think…"

"I want to do it." She whispered, "I need to do this, okay?"

Grissom nodded. He understood she wanted to see this through. She had made a connection. She needed closure for them and for her.

He turned to go back inside. Sara went with Dave to the morgue. Sara cut their bindings off and scraped their fingernails and washed their bodies so that she could photograph the wounds.

Doc Robbins and Sara went over his findings when he was done.

"How did Cammie Brookston survive until we got there?"

"Well, in her case, there was only a partial transection of the jugular. Shallower cut, slower bleed."

"I found her at least two hours after the attacks."

"She must've applied pressure to her wound. That would have bought her some time."

"So if we'd have found her sooner, she would still be alive."

That thought haunted Sara.

"Sara, there's nothing you could've done."

Sara said nothing. She dwelled on the thought that if she had been there earlier, Cammie would be alive.

Robbins continued, "Well, she has a C-section uterine scar, hairline almost invisible."

"She has a child."

"Well, she gave birth some time ago."

"Any signs of sexual assault?"

"Not with Cammie. I found semen in the vaginas of Emily Watson and Lauren Walderson. Both had mild reddening and some superficial abrasion at the vaginal introits. They could have had consensual sex in the hours prior to the attack. This young lady was raped."

He turned to the body of Rebecca Mayford. He explained what had happened to her.

Sara was numb, "Is that everything then?"

"Not quite. He left something behind."

Robbins pointed to the x-ray on the light box.

Sara turned to look, "The tip of the knife."

"I'll get it out for you and send it to Trace."

"Thanks, Doc."

"Sara, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just tired. It's already been a long day. We are working on a double."

Doc didn't quite believe her.

"Thanks, Doc. I'll call you if I have any questions."

She left before he could question her anymore. Her next destination was the lab. She had some leads to run down. Warrick had run down the Lewis on the wine bottle.

Grissom went looking for Sara. He was still worried about her. He knew she was deeply affected by Cammie's death.

He caught up with her when she was headed to talk to Nick.

"Hey, Sara, how are you?"

"Fine"

"You don't look fine."

"Grissom, I'm fine."

When she used his last name it meant she was angry.

"Sara, we need to talk about this."

"Not here, okay?"

"Okay. Later, at home."

"Okay"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She went to find Nick. They interviewed Lewis Greyburg. From him they found that the showgirls had raised money for a fellow showgirl with cancer. They had given away a bag with kitchen goods in it, including a knife that matched the kind used to kill the girls. It was a start.

The second shift ended. Sara was exhausted. She wanted to go to bed. Grissom had other ideas.

"Sara?" He began rather tentatively.

"Gil, I know what you want to talk about."

"I'm worried about you. I know this case has affected you."

She could not hold it any longer. She buried herself in his arms and cried.

"She died right there in front of me. If we had gotten there sooner she might have lived."

"Sara, I'm sorry."

He didn't know what else to say. He just listened to her. He knew this had to bring back memories of what happened in her house all those years ago.

"It's not your fault. I just wish I could have saved her, you know. It would have been nice to just once get there to save someone."

"I know, Sara."

He wiped her tears.

"Thank you," she said.

"For what?"

"Not lecturing. I really don't think I could have taken that today."

He nodded. It was best right now to keep quiet. There was plenty he could lecture her about, but right now was not the time. She had talked. It seemed to have helped.

"I want to catch this guy…for Cammie…and the rest of them."

"I know you do, Sara. "

Sara wanted to go to bed. Grissom followed her. They changed and crawled into bed. Sara didn't say a word she just curled up next to Grissom and fell asleep.

When the alarm went off, it startled her. She was sleeping hard.

She sat up and looked around, but Grissom was not to be found.

"Gil?"

Nothing.

She checked his office.

Nothing.

She padded into the kitchen and found a note on the counter.

_Sara, _

_I arranged for you to come in a little late. I let you sleep.  
Call me when you get this._

_G._

She called him.

"Grissom"

"Hey, why did you let me sleep?"

"You needed it. Call it a perk of dating the boss."

"I just enforced the rule that you have to have so many hours off before you report back in for your shift."

"Thanks."

"See you in three hours."

"Okay."

"Hey"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Gil."

It was not like him to be so forthcoming with those words. She knew he was really worried about her.

She sighed and decided to take a long bath. That might help relax her.

She drew the bath and soaked for a long time. She had some time to think. She knew it did no good to dwell on the fact that she didn't save Cammie. She would now turn her attention to finding the killer.

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They had tracked down some of the fingerprints and were at the residence of one of the men when police when flying by. The call had gone out that there was an assault not a few blocks from where they were. Sara, Brass, and Nick rushed to the scene to see if it was related to their case.

At the scene they found a man with his throat slit and a knife that matched the one that was the murder weapon. Sara thought they had finally caught a break. She went with the man to the hospital against Nick's wishes. He knew she was getting to personally involved. She was losing perspective.

Sara held his hand in the ambulance. Maybe she thought they had gotten there in time to save this one.

At the hospital she processed him. She took pictures and fingerprints. She noticed that they were just smudges like the ones at the house. It dawned on her that he was not another victim, but the perpetrator. He grabbed her hand and she pulled away. It was then she saw the port wine stain on his chest. She remembered what Cammie had said about poor wine. She was trying to tell Sara that he had a port wine stain on his chest. It was another piece of the puzzle that she could fit in.

By the time she got back to the lab she was pissed. She explained to Grissom what had happened and what her theory was.

"Sara, slow down. Frost isn't going anywhere."

"I am going to nail this son of a bitch, and I don't what him to think for a single second that he is going to get away with this."

"Okay, one step at a time."

"Frost smelled like alcohol when they took him into the ER so they ran a tox. He BAC came back .34---only a chronic alcoholic can function at those levels. You know what I think? I think he polished off the wine straight from the bottle."

"So his DNA should be on it."

"You're right. I'll check with Wendy."

"Sara, take it slowly. Don't miss anything."

"I won't."

He wasn't so sure.

The results did come back to Marlon Frost AKA David Marlon. He was a wanted felon. They had caught him. In his car they found the purses of the showgirls. In Cammie's purse Sara found a birth certificate and picture of a child. She traced the name of the baby's father. She told him about Cammie and about what happened. They had given up the baby for adoption when she was born. She assured him that this was not his fault. She had come to that realization herself. As she talked to him the last piece of the puzzle came into place.

Cammie had said "Bye Fin."

At the time it made no sense. Sara had learned from the baby's father that they name they had given her was Fin. She had been saying goodbye to her daughter.

Grissom and Sara were in the break room watching the news.

The reporter began the report, "Las Vegas PD has confirmed that David Marlon confessed earlier today to the murders of the six Green Valley showgirls. He was found within a block of the crimes scene in an apparent suicide attempt. I've just been informed that the Police Department has confirmed the names of the six victims. They are Cammie Brookston 23, Libby Cooperson 22, Becca Mayfield 20, Jennifer Smith 22, Lauren Walderson 21, and Emily Wilson 19.

As they watched a tear rolled down Sara's cheek.

"I held his hand." She turned to look at Grissom. She was waiting for the 'I told you so'. He did not say it, "Just like I held hers. I lost perspective."

Grissom's only response was to wipe the tear off her cheek. She again turned to look at him.

In the background the reporter continued, "Their families have organized a candlelight vigil that will begin here tonight.

Grissom looked at her as if to say let's go. Sara nodded her understanding of what he was saying. They turned to walk out of the room. He placed a supportive hand in the middle of her back as they walked out.

Once they were in the car, Sara spoke again.

"Would you mind if we went by the vigil for a few minutes."

"I'll take you if that's what you want to do."

She had expected an argument from him, but it didn't come.

"Thanks."

He took her hand and kissed her palm. She smiled weakly at him as they drove to the vigil.

They stayed for a few minutes. Grissom stood with her the entire time, His arm always around her.

"I'm ready to go."

He nodded and led her to the car.

"Thank you, Gil for doing that with me."

"I knew you needed closure."

"I did. I think I can put it to rest."

"I'm glad."

"I want to sleep now. I'm exhausted."

"I'll take you home right now."

When they got home, they crawled into bed. Grissom held her as she slept. This had been a tough case for Sara, he knew that. He was glad it was over. He really hoped it was over for Sara. He kissed the top of her head as she slept. He would be here to protect her.


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: Thanks for reading. I have used some dialogue from Lab Rats in this one. I love Lab Rats.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Light smut warning.**

**Please leave a review. It makes my beta happy. Thanks Karen for reading and correcting. That makes all the mistakes hers….hehehehe**

Grissom continued to work on the miniature. He had measured and calculated the dimensions of his office and had purchased the materials to start the miniature. He began tracing out the walls on the foam board that he used to form them. He glued the specimen jars on the shelves. He even created a microscopic tarantula for the wall behind his desk. It was actually an interesting process for him. He found the whole process engrossing. As promised, he did not become obsessed with the building of it. He would only work on it for a few hours here and there. There had been no more miniature cases, but Grissom knew this killer wasn't done. He waited for the next one.

Grissom walked down the halls at the start of shift handing out assignments. Nick and Warrick got a case with an erotic athlete, Greg got a case with a dead body at a mob restaurant. And Catherine got a case with a clown that assaulted someone with a tazer. Sara was given a case with an outbreak of Hepatitis. Grissom and Sara walked down the hall discussing the case.

"Hey, CDC needs someone out at the Omdi-tech offices on Boulder Highway. I'm sure it's not hazardous, or they wouldn't let us collect it."

"Okay, you coming with?"

"No, I'm spending the night in autopsy with the Lake Mead floater."

"Well, enjoy. That guy was putrid. Oh, by the way, you left the miniatures unlocked."

"Yeah, I've been looking at those a lot lately."

"You still think we haven't seen the last of this killer?"

"I know we haven't. I just don't know when he will strike again."

Hodges heard that and took the opportunity to help Grissom find the killer. He gathered the Lab techs to help him. Grissom knew nothing about it.

Sara came back to talk to Wendy about the evidence she found at her scene. She'd spent most of her shift printing and processing an office. What she found slightly disturbed her.

"Hey." Sara said as she walked up to Wendy.

"Hey."

"Here you go. I checked under the keys. Crusty white stains, pale blue under ALS."

"Semen, huh? What made you check under the keys?"

"Butt print on the credenza."

Sara held up her hands in the shape of a butt print.

"Yeah, okay, that's gross."

"CDC contacted us, because the whole office had a herpes simplex 1 outbreak, and nobody could figure out why. I guess you never really know what's going on in your office."

Sara turned to leave. Wendy stopped her.

"Hey, Sara? Is it true that the miniature cases have been keeping Grissom up at night?"

_Oh shit. How would she know about us?_ was the first thing that went through her mind.

"How would I know?" she used to cover it up quickly.

"I just thought that maybe you guys all talk about it, and…Hodges told me that Grissom confided in him and…you know what? Never mind. Just forget I even asked."

"Well, listen, I-I don't know what Hodges has been telling you, but… do you really think that Grissom would confide in him? About anything?"

Wendy looked rather sheepishly at Sara.

"No, of course not."

"Let me know what you find."

"I will."

Sara left before she gave something away. Wendy left to yell at Hodges.

At the end of shift Sara found Grissom.

"Hey, I think we found the cause of the herpes outbreak in that office."

"Oh yeah, what."

"Well, I found semen on several of the pieces of furniture. Seems like someone is doing it rather indiscreetly in the office…all over the place."

"Nice."

"What did you find with the floater."

"Well, first a rat burst out of him and we spent the rest of the shift looking for him. At first we thought that the guy had gas but then the rat clawed its way out of the guy's stomach."

Sara wrinkled up her face.

Grissom continued, "He had apparently taken up residence inside the guy who turned out to be a mule. He had swallowed balloons full of black tar heroin. The rat had eaten some of them too."

"How did you finally catch the rat?"

"We didn't. He chewed on the electrical wiring and got electrocuted in the process. Turns out he was a wanted criminal."

"I think I could have gone the rest on my life and not heard that story."

She laughed.

Grissom went on, "Did you know that Doc Robbins is afraid of rats?"

"Uh, no, I didn't."

"Neither did I until tonight."

"Are you ready to go home?"

"I just need to put some things in my office. I'll be about another 45 minutes."

"Okay, I'll just meet you at home."

"Bye."

Sara turned to leave. Grissom watched her go. He turned to walk to his office.

A rather naughty thought crossed his mind, but it would have to wait until he got home.

He sighed and walked into his office where he found Hodges sitting in his chair at his desk.

"This better be good, Dave."

"Bleach."

"What?"

"I found a common element in all four miniatures…Bleach…There's a bottle of it in the trash at Izzy's; there's a barrel of it at the chicken plant. There's, uh, bleach in the flower water at Barbara's condo and now…a bleach coupon in Penny's.

Grissom looked at the coupon. Hodges was on to something. He blathered on about cleaning staff and killers. Then he said something that triggered a thought. He said that the killer may be triggered by bleach.

"The bellows."

"I'm sorry?" Hodges was confused.

Grissom explained about the case of James Tilly Matthews. It was a possibility.

Grissom told Hodges that he'd done a good job and asked him to get out of his chair. He needed to think…and work. The naughty thoughts of Sara were gone. He sat down and began looking at the miniatures. It was possible that bleach was the trigger. He didn't know if it made things easier or harder to understand. At least it was one more clue to go on.

An hour passed when his cell phone rang. It was Sara.

"Hey, where are you?"

"Oh, sorry. We caught a possible break in the miniature case."

"Really? What?"

"Believe it or not, Hodges found a common element in all the miniatures…bleach."

"Bleach?"

"Yeah."

"What was he doing looking at the miniatures anyway?"

"I don't know, but it's more than we had before."

"That explains Wendy's comment."

"What comment?"

"Oh she said that Hodges had confided in you that you were losing sleep over the miniatures."

Grissom scoffed at the idea.

"I know." Sara said.

"Well, he did find that common element."

"Are you coming home soon?"

"Yeah, I'll leave here in just a few minutes. I'm just going to lock up the miniatures so nobody else gets any bright ideas."

Sara laughed, "Okay I'll see you soon. I'll have some breakfast ready for you."

"Thanks, I'll see you in about thirty minutes?"

"I'll be waiting."

It was her way of saying you better not take too long mister.

He finished up his work and headed home.

He found breakfast waiting for him when he arrived and a note from Sara.

She was in the bathtub. It also included an offer to join her when he was done eating. Those naughty thoughts returned. He ate quickly and found her soaking in the warm water.

"Hey, glad you made it."

"Does your offer still stand?"

"If you hurry."

He quickly undressed and joined her in the tub.

The warm water felt good. He had not taken a bath since childhood until he met Sara. He had to admit it had its perks.

Grissom told her about the rest of the shift in more detail and about the bleach idea. She could tell he was thinking hard about this new development. She listened and let him talk. She was not even sure he was talking to her anymore.

She leaned over and silenced him with a kiss after 20 minutes.

He looked at her surprised.

"I don't want to talk about work anymore."

She shifted to straddle him.

She kissed him again, this time deeper.

He slid his hands up her back and kissed her back.

"Sara, let's take this to the bedroom. The last time we did this we flooded the floor."

She nodded and got out of the tub. He quickly followed her. She headed for the bedroom, but he caught her at the door. He spun her around and kissed her again. She could feel him responding to her.

She broke the kiss and pulled him to the bed. It didn't matter that they were both still wet. Neither of them cared.

"Gil…"

He kissed her again. Then he laid her down on the bed.

She positioned herself in the middle as he joined her. He covered her body with his and kissed her neck. She pulled him closer and found his lips with hers. She ran her fingers through his hair as he trailed kisses down her chest.

Her body sifted again to grant him access to her. He slipped in and began to move with her.

When they were both done they laid there together holding each other.

Sara rested her head on his chest.

"Gil, can we take a weekend and go somewhere. We haven't been away in a long time."

"I know. It would be great to get away."

"We could go back up to Mount Charleston, or anywhere. I just want to spend time alone with you."

"Soon Sara, I promise. There's just no way right now, too much going on."

She knew he would try, but it wouldn't happen right now. The Miniature Killer was still out there. He would not go away again until the killer was caught.

"Okay." She tried to hide her disappointment.

She heard his breathing become slow and even. He'd fallen asleep.

It was her turn to think. He'd kept his promise about the miniature, but he was still obsessed with this case. It was always in the back of his mind.


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: There is 'borrowed' dialogue from Ending Happy in this one. **

**Please leave a review after you read.**

**Thanks to Karen for the editing. You keep me sane and my words in the right order and spelled correctly.**

Grissom popped his head into the break room and found Sara pouring a cup of coffee.

"Hey, you better make that to go. We have a bit of a drive tonight."

"Why, what's up?"

"We got a call out to the Sugar Cane Ranch."

"What the hell is the Sugar Cane Ranch?"

"Apparently it's a cat house about two hours drive from here."

"Great."

"You want me to take Nick instead?"

"No, no, I'll go. Just give me a minute to get my stuff together and I'll meet you outside."

"I'll see you outside."

"Sure."

Sara didn't want to go to a cat house, but it was a chance to spend some time with Grissom. They got so little time anymore, she'd take what she could get even if it meant two hours in a car.

She walked outside and met him at the Denali.

"Where's your coffee?" he teased.

"No lids. You are taking me to Starbucks on the way out of town."

He smiled, "Deal. I'll even buy."

She smiled back.

They got on the road a few minutes later after they had stopped at Starbucks. It was going to be a long night.

For the first little bit Grissom filled Sara in on the case, what little he knew. Then they talked about the case that they just wrapped up and then they were quiet for a while.

"Sara, are you upset about something?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You're quiet."

"I'm fine, Gil."

That word again. He knew she wasn't fine. He'd been thinking about what she had asked him about going away. He knew she really wanted some time with him. They had not really had that since he got back. He'd promised himself he was going to change. If he looked at it honestly, he had not.

"Is this about going away together?"

"No." she lied

"Sara, I just can't get away right now. There is too much to do."

"There will always be too much to do."

Ouch.

"Sara, I'm sorry."

"I know you are."

"Look, I'll schedule some time off next weekend. I think I can manage a long weekend. We can't go far, but at least we can spend some time together."

She looked at him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I've been thinking. It has been a long time since we went anywhere together, just the two of us. I miss that."

"Me too. I'm not asking for two weeks in Hawaii. I know that won't happen, but a long weekend is a great start"

He took her hand and kissed her palm. It was his way of saying he loved her.

She smiled that smile that melted his heart.

He would make good on his offer to take some time off. It was important to Sara.

The rest of the trip was a mixture of small talk and discussion about cases.

They finally arrived at the Sugar Cane Ranch. It was ablaze with neon and lights.

"Oh you have got to be kidding. Who would go to a place like this?"

Grissom nodded in agreement.

They were greeted by the Sheriff.

"Hello, are you the two from The Las Vegas Crime Lab?"

The Sheriff extended his hand and Grissom shook it.

"Yes, Gill Grissom and this is Sara Sidle."

"Pleased to meet you both. The body's back here by the pool."

He led them back to the pool area.

"Yeah. One of the gals fished him out of the pool, and the owner called me. No one's touched the body since."

Grissom asked, "Where's your coroner?"

"Oh, couldn't get him on the horn. Probably out in some barn, up to his elbows in a cow's vagina."

Sara didn't quite believe what she heard, "Excuse me?"

"Oh. Yeah. Coroner's a part time gig in this part of the county. He's a veterinarian. That's his money gig."

Sara pulled out her radio and called for a coroner from Las Vegas to come get the body.

The girls were gathered around the body along with a strange mixture of people.

The Sheriff said, "Excuse me ladies."

Grissom looked around at the crowd, "This is a strange crowd for a cathouse."

One of the residents called out to the sheriff, "Hey, Sheriff…Di-did you hear about my wife? Somebody shot my wife. Yeah, I'm telling ya, they shot my wife."

The Sheriff placated the man, "Yeah. Ok. All right. Settle down, Milton. Settle down. Okay."

The Sheriff explained, "His wife died about ten years ago of a stroke."

Sara asked, "What is with all the old-timers out here tonight?"

"Oh they live here. Yeah, all over these hills. Cheap rents, abundant sunshine, Life is good here in the county."

They reached the body and looked down.

The Sheriff explained who he was, "Guy's name is Lorenzo Morales."

Grissom recognized him, "Happy Morales. I saw him fight LeRoi Steele at the Sands a couple of years ago. Took a vicious beating. Never touched the mat once."

Sara quipped, "Well, he's definitely down for the count."

The sheriff continued to explain what he knew about the owners and the brothel. One of the girls brought the sheriff out his gun belt saying that he left it in her room again. He didn't even try to explain as Grissom and Sara looked at each other and smirked.

They turned their attention to the body.

Grissom knelt down next to him, "Look at this." He pointed to two holes in the victim's neck.

"Gunshot wound?"

Grissom took a picture of it.

"Maybe."

"He's got a contusion over his right eye. Could be associated with the incident."

"Well, he was a boxer."

Grissom snapped more photos.

Sara walked over to the pool and stuck her hand in to test the temperature of the water.

"Feels like bathwater. It's got to be 90 degrees. There's no way we're going to get an accurate TOD."

"Places like this always keep their pools warm. It encourages the girls to swim topless. It's good for business."

Sara looked at him but said nothing.

"So they tell me."

"Uh huh."

Grissom called for Nick and Greg to join them when they finished their scene. Brass was also on his way.

They continued to process the area. Brass interviewed the women and the owners. They were beginning to put the pieces together.

It was much easier to process when the sun came up. There was a large outside area to get through.

Greg was told to collect DNA from all the girls. Grissom helped him.

Nick and Sara worked the outside area. They found several pieces of evidence.

Sara then met up with Grissom outside the main house. They were on their way to Happy's room.

Grissom talked as they walked, "Twenty five people here last night, and nobody sees anything.

A couple of the girls walk by and commented, "Nice hat, Honey."

Grissom turned and watched them walk on. Then he turned to Sara.

Sara decided to question him just a bit, "So you've been to a place like this before?"

"I worked a murder-suicide at the Naughty Kitty once."

"No, no, come on. You know what I mean."

"As a customer? No."

"You've never paid for sex?"

"I have not. I find the whole idea very…bleak."

"Really… how come?"

"Sex should provide the opportunity for human connection. Paid sex does the opposite of that. To me, sex without love is pointless. It makes you sad."

"Well, I'm pretty sure I don't make you sad."

He looked at her very seriously, "No, you make me happy."

Sara looked back at him and half smiled. What he had said made a profound impression on her. He was serious. The tone in his voice made it clear that she was his love.

Both were quiet for a few minutes as they entered Happy's room.

Grissom turned back to work. In the room there were several pill bottles on a table.

It appeared that there was a struggle in the room. There were blood smears on the furniture and walls and blood drops on the carpet.

After processing his room they went back outside to find Nick.

"Sara, you go hook up with Nick. I have some more questions for the owners."

"Okay, I'll drop off the evidence from Happy's room in the Denali also."

Grissom went back inside and Sara walked on to find Nick. She noticed blood drops on the ground and marked them.

Nick found her kneeling by a blood drop.

"Hey. Catherine said we may not be looking for a bullet anymore."

"She happen to say what we were looking for?"

"Not a bullet."

"Well, it looks like we have blood drops heading towards Happy's trailer."

Nick looked down and saw them, "Mmmhmm."

Milton, the old man from the night before walked toward them, "Hey."

Nick turned to look at him.

"You kids, you caught your, caught your guy?"

"No, sir."

"You going to catch him."

"We certainly hope so." Sara answered.

Milton brought out a picture from behind his back. It was a picture of his wife with an arrow sticking out of it.

"I told you, somebody shot my wife. Come in. I'll show you."

They followed Milton into his trailer.

Nick hung the photo back up where it went.

"There is what appears to be blood on the shaft."

Milton muttered, "I told 'em. I told 'em, but would they listen? No, no, just an old man running off at the mouth."

Sara asked, "Did you see this happen?"

"No. Woke up this morning and found it like that… I shot an arrow into the air, and it fell to Earth I know not where."

Nick shot Sara a glance. He really had no time for the old man who continued with the poem.

"Oh, so swiftly it flew, the sight could not follow it in its flight. Long, long…

Nick interrupted him, "Sir, that's, that's really sweet."

"That's Longfellow." He laughed, "What do you kids know about poetry?"

Sara intervened before it got any worse.

"Nick, arrow came in through that window."

"Yeah." Nick turned to leave.

Milton muttered, "Even an idiot could see that."

Nick decided to remain quiet as he walked out. Sara stayed inside to process the arrow where it landed.

Nick came back a few minutes later. He'd found another arrow. He called to Sara from the open window.

"Hey, Sara. Found another arrow shot in the ground near that old tool shed."

"Maybe the shooter got nervous."

"Well, to work at brothel you're required to register your fingerprints so…"

"I'm almost done here. I'll catch up."

"Okay. I'll let you know if we get lucky." He walked away. Sara could have the old man.

She continued the poem. It was one she knew.

"A long time afterward, in an oak…"

Milton looked surprised.

"…found the arrow, still unbroken  
And the song, from beginning to end,  
I found again in the heart of a friend."

Milton gave Sara a pleased look.

She smiled at him, "Keep the faith, Milton."

She headed out to take the other arrow to Nick."

The prints belonged to Conner Foster the Bartender.

He was taken back to the station for questioning by Brass.

Grissom and Sara finally headed back to the Lab. It was the end of their second shift.

As they were driving they talked about the case and about the events of the day.

"Can you believe this case?"

Grissom smiled, "It's taken more twists and turns."

Sara laughed, "Yeah."

She then yawned.

"Are you tired?"

She nodded her head.

"Me too. I think we've earned that time off."

She looked at him, "Where are we going?"

"I don't know yet…not to the Sugar Cane Ranch, I can tell you that.

She snickered, "Agreed."

Sara laid her head against the seat and fell asleep.

Grissom smiled and let her sleep. It was still more than an hour before they would get back to the lab. They both needed rest.

He pulled into the lab and woke Sara.

"Hey, Sara. We're back."

She stirred.

"Sara, wake up."

"Oh, hey," she said sleepily.

"We're back at the lab. Let's get the evidence logged in and go home. We have to be back in 9 hours."

Sara nodded and they walked into the lab. It did not take long to log in what they collected. Nick was there just behind them to help.

CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI

Sleep came easy. It was hard to wake up. They made it in just a bit late.

When they finally got there, Brass was waiting for Grissom.

Brass found out from Doc Robbins that Happy was allergic to Shellfish and that was what caused his allergic reaction, making his throat swell up. Conner had actually saved his life when he shot him with the arrow. They figured out that Doris, the owner's wife, had been giving Happy some special first aid. The point of entry of the shellfish was through his urethra.

They thought they finally had found the cause of death.

Grissom and Brass headed back out to the Sugar Cane Ranch.

They brought the owners into the police station. They lawyered up and were sticking together.

It was discovered that Happy had been shot up with snake venom. His death appeared to be a combination of events. There was not one cause of death. The team was not sure anyone would be charged in his death. As Nick put it, a good defense attorney would make the case that the lawn chair did it, since it was falling off the chair that made him fall into the pool.

This case would be one they would remember for a long time.

Before Grissom left that day he scheduled Sara off for that Friday and put in a request for a day off for himself stating personal business.

He found Sara at the end of the shift.

"Hey, you ready to go. We are not working a double today."

She was still tired from the day before, "Yeah. Let me just finish this report. I'll only be about ten minutes."

"Okay. Oh, I have posted the schedule for the rest of the week in the break room. Go look at it."

"Okay."

She finished her report and put it on his desk for review. Then she went to look at the schedule.

She smiled. He had kept his word. He took a day off and scheduled her off on the same day. He was trying.


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: Sorry it has taken me so long to update this one. I have been really busy and had lost my way in writing. I hope to have more soon. I will not let it me a month again....I hope. **

**There is dialouge from Leapin' Lizard in this one and a shout out to the The Baird himself. **

**Thanks to Kasey for the Beta...what would I do without you.**

Grissom had made reservations at a Bed and Breakfast for the weekend. It was not a vacation, but he had kept his word to spend time with Sara. He wanted her. She had slowly become the most important person in his life. He wanted her to know that.

Grissom called out from the kitchen for her, "Sara, are you ready?"

"Almost," came her grunt from the other room. She was doing battle with the zipper on her suitcase.

Grissom walked in to see her sitting on the bag trying to zip it. He laughed.

"Laugh it up mister, but we can't leave until I get this closed."

"Here, let me help," he chuckled.

"Thanks."

They eventually got the bag closed.

"Are we ready?"

"What are we doing with Hank?"

"He has been deposited at the dog sitters for the weekend. We are free until Sunday."

Sara slipped her arms around him and kissed him hard.

"Thanks for doing this."

He kissed her back, "You're welcome. It's my pleasure."

"Play your cards right and it will be."

She kissed him again and grabbed the suitcase.

"Gil, let's go…and leave the cell phone off. No interruptions, no work."

"Deal."

They took the bag and headed out the door.

The drive to the Bed and Breakfast did not take long. As they pulled up, Sara noticed it was the same one they had stayed at a year ago. She smiled at the memory of that night.

Grissom glanced her way and saw the smile. He knew what she was thinking.

"I even got the same room."

"Gilbert, you didn't."

He gave her a raised eyebrow and a smile as he took her by the hand and led her into the lobby.

The owner remembered them from the previous year.

"Well, hello you two."

"Hi." Grissom answered back.

"I have everything that you asked for Mr. Grissom."

Sara raised an eyebrow at him but followed in silence.

"Thank you," Grissom responded to the owner.

They were shown to their room and quickly left alone.

Sara looked around the room. She remembered it well. She also remembered the patio.

She smiled at the fond memory when she felt strong arms wrap around her.

"Hey," Grissom whispered in her ear.

She leaned back against him, "Hi."

"Happy?"

"Mmmmhmmm."

"Good. Let's go eat. You're gonna need the energy."

"You think so?"

"I know so." He kissed the back of her neck and slid a hand under her shirt.

She wiggled away from him.

"Not now, let's go eat first. I'm hungry."

"Come on. We have reservations at the restaurant across the street."

"Oh, that place is good."

"Dessert is arranged for later here."

"You have this all planned out don't you?"

He nodded.

She smiled as he took her hand and led her out the door.

Dinner was delicious and now they were back in their room.

Grissom went outside and lit a fire in the fire pit on the patio.

Sara joined him.

"This is nice."

"Yes it is."

He wrapped an arm around her.

They stood there for a long moment. Neither of them spoke.

Finally, Grissom broke the silence.

"Are you cold?"

"No, the fire feels nice. I have fond memories of this place."

Grissom chuckled, "Me too."

Sara turned to face him. Grissom leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Sara's lips.

"I'm glad we came, Sara."

"I am too. We don't get enough time for just the two of us outside of work."

"I know. It has been hectic since I got back from Williams."

"Yeah, let's make a point of doing this more often."

"Deal."

Sara knew he would try, but there would always be work. There was always work. She pushed that thought out of her mind for tonight. Tonight he was hers and they were alone. She was going to make the best of it.

She tipped her head up and kissed him firmly, pushing her body against his. He responded in the way she hoped he would. That was never the issue between them. He deepened the kiss. The need for air caused her to pull away for a moment.

"I think we should take this inside, Gil."

"As you wish my dear."

She led him inside to the bedroom. Sara then turned to him and kissed him hard, leaving no doubt as to what she wanted. She began unbuttoning Grissom's shirt. He, in turn, pulled her shirt over her head.

His head dipped down and kissed the base of her throat. She shuttered a bit.

His hands slid behind her back and loosened the hooks of her bra. He slid the straps down her arms and dropped it on the floor.

"Sara…"

She stopped him with a kiss. She didn't want to talk right now. She had other things on her mind.

She reached for his belt and removed it, followed by his jeans and boxers.

He removed the rest of her clothing as well.

Sara pulled him to the bed without breaking the kiss. She wanted him now.

"Sara…"

"Shhhh…no talking."

She kissed him again and pushed him down on the bed and then straddled him as he laid there.

Grissom let her take charge. He sensed she needed it.

Sara kissed him again. It was a deep kiss full of longing and need. His lips parted as she fought for entry.

His hands ran the length of her back until they reached her hips. Grissom then pulled her down as he entered her. Sara let out a low growl as he did. Grissom loved that sound she made. It was a sound only for him.

She set the rhythm. He met her all the way.

He knew she was getting close. He grabbed her and rolled them so that they switched positions and took the lead. He knew what she needed to finish. He gave it to her. The first shudders of her climax hit just as his did.

They laid together for a long time just holding each other.

Sara finally drifted off to sleep first.

Grissom laid awake watching her sleep. He knew there was something bothering her. He didn't know what or how to begin to ask her.

He whispered, "I love you."

Finally he fell asleep.

When they awoke in the morning, it was late. They had missed breakfast, but they didn't care.

"Good morning," Grissom whispered in her ear.

"Hi."

"Sleep well?"

"Exceedingly. I always do when we are together."

"Good. We missed breakfast."

"It was worth it. I needed sleep more than food at the moment."

"Me too I think."

'What do you want to do today?"

"I want to spend the day with you doing whatever you want to do. Today is about you, Sara. I am yours to do what you will."

Sara propped herself up on one elbow. That comment was fraught with so many delicious ideas. She smiled at him.

"Anything I want?"

"Anything that's legal I should say," he teased her.

"Well there go ideas one, two, and three then."

"Oh really?"

She rolled over on her back and Grissom maneuvered on top of her.

"I have a whole lot more ideas where that came from though."

He smiled at her, "I bet you do."

She pulled him down into a searing kiss.

"But first, I want to eat. Let's go see what they have to offer at the restaurant"

"Okay, but I need a shower first."

"Fine. Race ya."

She jumped out of bed and headed for the bathroom. He scrambled after her and caught her at the bathroom door.

"I win," and he kissed her.

"I think it was a tie, therefore, we get to take a shower at the same time."

"Deal."

They headed to the shower and then to breakfast.

"So what do you really want to do today, Sara?"

"I think I want to go check out that open air market we saw."

"Okay."

"And then dinner. A nice dinner. Like a date."

"Deal."

"Good, I am not into sharing you today."

"So I need to mark in your evaluation does not share well with others?"

"Sometimes I am willing to share a great deal with the right person."

She gave him a salacious smile.

He smiled back and raised an eyebrow as he helped her out of the booth they were in.

They had a great time at the market and dinner was wonderful. The evening was coming to a close. They knew it was time to go back tomorrow.

This little bit of a break had done them a lot of good.

"Gil, thank you for doing this."

"You're welcome," he kissed her.

"It means a lot to me that you put me first this weekend."

"I'm sorry I don't do that more. I should."

"I know work is important to you. It is to me too."

"You are more important to me."

She smiled at him.

"Let's get some rest before we have to pack up in the morning."

"I don't want to go back in the morning."

"I know, Sara, but we have to. I think it would be a bit suspicious if we didn't show up at the same time."

"Yeah, you're right."

She laid her head against his shoulder.

"Sara…" he didn't know how to finish.

"Its okay, Gil."

"Sara, I love you. You know that, right?"

"Yes, and I love you too."

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Work was work that week until they pulled the Chyna De Vere case. She had been missing for a week as had her husband. They had interviewed her friends but had come up with nothing. Then they caught a break and followed a lead to the ranch of Hank Connors. The Police had a shootout with him and he eventually killed himself. That was when the CSI's had been called in to process his house. In the barn Warrick and Grissom found Chyna's head mounted on the wall.

It was a bizarre case to say the least and it took a toll on all the CSI's.

Sara joined the rest of the team at the scene.

She found Grissom in the house going through Connors' desk.

She asked, "Want me to take the living room? Looks like Armageddon came on the Thursday."

"Do you believe intelligent life exists on other planets?"

"I'm not sure there's intelligent life on this planet. I was just in the barn."

Grissom gave her a nod of understanding.

Sara sighed, "I'll get started."

Grissom continued to process the office and found a movie with a man speaking about Aliens and DNA. Grissom watched fascinated. Sara walked in and watched for a moment with him.

"What is this?"

"I think their UFO club is based on the teachings of this guy."

"So Connors cut off her head because he thought she was a serpent from outer space?"

Grissom gave her a confused look.

"It would appear so."

"That is just bizarre. Just when I thought this job couldn't get any more bizarre….this happens."

"Yeah, I hear ya. I need to get back to the morgue. I want to be there when Doc Robbins does the autopsy."

"Okay. I'll catch up with you later."

At the end of shift they met in his office.

"This case just gets weirder by the moment. I am so ready to go home."

Grissom got up from his desk.

"Then let's go. There is nothing that can't wait until tomorrow."

She nodded and they went home.

Sara got in the shower right away.

Grissom went to his office and looked at the miniature on his desk.

He also spotted the book he had taken with him to Williams. The one Sara had given him. He spotted the letter he had written her sticking out of it. He picked up the book and placed it on her night stand. He wanted her to read it now. He was ready.

Sara came out wrapped in a towel and told him she had left the shower running for him. He nodded and went to take his shower.

When he came out she was sitting on the bed eating yogurt and watching a Godzilla movie on television. Rather ironic choice given the case they were on right now. He dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt and sat on the bed watching with her for a while. Hank joined them.

Sara commented, "I always feel sorry for the monster."

Grissom smiled, "Then you better turn it off before they use the oxygen destroyer on him."

Then he got up to go work on his miniature. He wanted her to find the letter. She might do that if she was not watching TV.

He whistled for Hank to follow him. The dog scrambled after Grissom.

Sara reached over and set the yogurt cup down and grabbed the remote and turned off the TV.

She saw the book. The remote had been sitting on it the whole time. Why hadn't she seen it before? Then she saw the letter sticking out of it. She recognized the book of course, but she had not seen the letter before. She pulled it out of the pages. It was partially addressed to her in Grissom's familiar handwriting.

Her heart started beating a bit faster. Why had he not sent this to her and when did he write it? And why was it here now? The book had not been there earlier. Grissom must have left it for her to read. She looked over at him in the office for a moment trying to decide if she should read it or not. She decided he had wanted her to read it so she turned the envelope over and removed the letter. It was written in Grissom's hand writing again.

_Sara,_

_Our parting was awkward…I don't know  
why I find it so difficult to express my  
feelings to you. Even though we're far apart,  
I can see you as vividly as if you were here  
with me…I said I'll miss you and I do.  
As Shakespeare more ably wrote my sentiment  
in Sonnet #47…_

"_Betwixt mine eyes and heart a league is took  
and each doth good turns now unto the other:  
When that mine eye is famish'd for a look,  
Or heart in love with sighs himself doth smother,  
With my love's picture then my eye doth feast  
And to the pained banquet bids my heart;  
Another time mine eye is my heart's guest  
And in his thoughts of love doth share a part:  
So, either by thy picture or my love,  
Thyself away art resent still with me;  
For thou not farther than my thoughts canst move,  
And I am still with them and they with thee;  
Or, if they sleep, thy picture in my sight  
Awakes my heart to heart's and eye's delight._

_Peace, _

_Gil_

She was stunned for a moment. Then she looked at him in his office for a moment. And then she got off the bed and numbly walked over to his office. The letter was still in her hand as she stopped at the doorway. She knew he loved her. But the depth of emotion in that letter let her know just how much. He didn't say it often, but with a declaration like that she would never doubt his love again.

He looked up and saw what was in her hand.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey."

He put down the piece of the miniature he was measuring.

She walked over and sat on the edge of his desk.

"I see you read the letter."

"Why didn't you send it?"

"I…I just thought it…I don't know," he finally answered.

She leaned forward and kissed him. Her hands wrapped around his neck and she pulled him close.

His pulled her off the desk and onto his lap in the chair. His hands worked their way under her shirt and pulled the tank top over her head. Then he removed her bra.

She pulled his sweatshirt off over his head as well.

He pulled her to him again. The thoughts of the miniature were gone. All his thoughts were concentrated on Sara now. He kissed her again. She moaned against his kiss. He trailed kisses down her chest. She arched into him. His hands worked on her jeans.

"Sara, I love you."

"I love you too…now shut up."

With that she tugged at his jeans until he got the idea and helped her remove them along with hers.

She sank down on him. She remained still for a moment and then began to move. He matched her movements. Sara could feel her climax building. Grissom kisser her hard again.

"Sara…"

Just the way he said it was the final straw. She let the pleasure wash over her in luscious waves.

Grissom was not far behind her. As his climax subsided he pulled Sara in close to him and held her there.

"Sara never doubt I love you."

"I won't."


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: There is dialogue from The Good, The Bad, and the Dominatrix**

**I own nothing…I just like to play with them from time to time. **

**Please leave a review.**

The weeks progressed. There had been no more miniature murder cases. Grissom continued to work on his miniature. It was nearly finished. He had been in contact with the owner of the miniature shop to obtain the supplies he needed.

Grissom had made a point of being more attentive to Sara since their weekend away. They were still busy but he made an effort to remember the little things. Sara noticed. She still had nagging thoughts in the back of her mind. She had issues with trust. She knew that. She also knew that Grissom loved her. The issue was not his, it was hers. She had to deal with it.

Shift started. Grissom gave Catherine a call to an old west amusement park. Greg was working on the Miniature Case when, but Grissom had to loan him out to day shift. Nick and Warrick were out on a hit and run case. Sara was assigned to help Catherine.

Catherine was shocked when she got to the scene. It was Lady Heather that had been attacked but she had survived. Sara showed up a few minutes later. Heather had already been taken to the hospital.

Sara was not happy that she had been assigned this case, but getting out of it would require answering questions she was not comfortable answering. Sara's curiosity got the better of her and she asked Catherine about Lady Heather.

"What is she like?"

Catherine answered, "Beautiful…smart, intense…Charming. The only woman I've ever seen rattle Grissom. I mean, he kind of liked that forensic anthropologist, Terri Miller. Remember her?"

"Yeah"

"But she wasn't enough of a challenge for him."

Sara was sorry she asked at that point. She just wanted Catherine to shut up now.

"Heather, on the other hand…uninhibited and can beat him at mental chess."

Sara really wished Catherine would shut up now. She was sorry she ever asked about Heather.

Catherine continued, "They had chemistry. And he is a scientist."

Sara felt her stomach tighten. She just wanted out of there. Catherine was giving her way too much information.

Sara cleared her throat, "Lots of…coins and toothpicks. They don't sweep under here."

Catherine was not going to give it up, "I mean, more power to him, really, to find someone outside of work 'cause you start fishing from the company pier, and…asking for trouble."

Sara had to physically fight the urge to run or to scream for her to shut up.

Sara picked up a shot glass, "I got a shot glass. Looks like there's some lipstick around the rim."

Catherine continued, "My fantasy does not include costumes, or pain…and certainly not sawdust." She brushed sawdust from her pants. "You?"

Oh if Catherine only knew.

Sara could not believe she was stuck here with Catherine and that Catherine was such a gossip. Sara was nearly ready to bolt out the door.

'I'm going to the hospital to process Heather. I'll see you later Catherine."

"Okay, call me when you are done."

Sara turned around and looked at Catherine, "Yeah, I'll call."

Sara knew that going to the hospital would be uncomfortable, but it beat staying there listening to Catherine going on about Grissom and Heather. At least Grissom wasn't there. That would be even worse. She had an argument with herself on the way to the hospital. Part of her was curious about Heather, the other part was afraid. The old fears and insecurities were in the back of her mind. She needed to face them and face Heather.

Unknown to Sara, Catherine had called Grissom to tell him about Heather. He left immediately for the hospital. He did not listen long enough to have Catherine explain that Sara was at the hospital to process Heather.

She walked into the room where Brass was interviewing Heather. She had rope marks around her neck.

Sara began, "Hi. I'm with the crime lab. Sara Sidle."

Heather watched her enter and walk across the room. _So this is Grissom's Sara. _

Sara looked at Heather. _So this is Heather. She doesn't look so scary right now._

"I'm here to collect your clothes and trace evidence from your body."

"Can I say no?"

"Why would you want to?" She turned to Brass, "Did the nurse forget to collect and SAE kit?"

Sara took her camera out.

Heather remarked, "Not necessary"

Brass retorted, "You don't want help. That's okay by me. Just don't waste my time. I've got a lot of cases on my desk that need my attention. So when you come out of your haze. Give me a call."

Brass turned and left. Now it was just Sara and Heather alone in the room. The tension was high. They both felt awkward. Neither knew what to say to the other.

Heather broke the silence, "I don't respond well to men who judge me based solely on my profession

"I get that a lot, too. Law enforcement." Sara smiled.

Heather smiled a weak smile back.

_Work Sara, just do your job. That's what you came to do. _

"May I move your hair?"

Heather nodded.

Sara gently moved her hair so that she could take pictures of the marks on Heather's neck. She began taking pictures. There were three sets of angry purple rope marks along her neck. Heather closed her eyes as Sara snapped pictures.

"These look like rope marks on your neck."

Heather opened her eyes, but did not speak. Sara had her back to the door as she saw Heather's eyes brighten.

Heather whispered, "Grissom"

Sara turned around to see Grissom standing at the door.

_Shit what is Sara doing here? I thought this was Catherine's case._

"I'll be done in a minute."

Grissom did not say anything for a moment. He did now know what to say. For once he had no words. He had been caught completely by surprise. He knew at some level that Sara and Heather might meet someday, but this was not how he had imagined it happening. The last time he had seen Heather he told her about his relationship with Sara. He also remembered how hurt Sara had been when He did not come home that night, but had gone to Heather's without even calling her. He remembered the hurt in her eyes when he came home.

They had talked about Heather before. He had reassured her that he never slept with her.

Grissom finally spoke, "I'll wait out here until you are done."

Sara answered flatly, "That will be fine."

She collected the rest of what she needed from Heather and was out in the hall with Grissom in 10 minutes.

Grissom saw her exit the room and came to talk to her.

"Sara, what happened?"

"She has three sets of rope marks on her neck. She refused SAE kit. She didn't give me much. I don't think she wants help."

"Let me talk to her."

Sara felt a knot forming in her stomach.

Grissom didn't seem to notice. He was focused on Heather at the moment.

"Sara, I'll meet you back at the lab. I need to talk to Heather. I'll see if I can get her to open up about what happened."

"Fine."

She turned to leave. Now was not the time to get emotional. She would not let Grissom know how uncomfortable she felt right now.

Grissom called out to her, "Sara."

She stopped and turned to face him but said nothing. She kept her face neutral. She would not show emotion here.

Grissom wanted to reach out and reassure her, but he could not here.

"I'll see you back at the lab. And thank you for helping Heather."

_Helping Heather! That was the last thing she wanted to do! I can't do this here. _

She nodded as she turned and walked away. She fought the hot tears that threatened to come. She would not cry here. She would not allow herself to cry in front of him. Her emotions ran between anger and fear. She had to hold it together at least until she got to her car.

The moment she reached the Denali, she let the tears flow. Then the anger came. By the time she got back to the lab she managed to get herself under control.

Grissom went back into Heather's room. He sat in the chair next to her bed.

Heather began, "Are you here in a professional capacity?"

"Does it make a difference?"

"Maybe not to you. I feel exposed. The last time you saw me…"

Grissom interrupted her, "You had just lost your daughter."

Heather was having difficulty breathing now.

"If a client did this, and left you to die, why are you protecting him?"

"I'm not."

Her breathing became more labored.

"Tell me the truth."

Heather began to lose consciousness. Her head dropped back to her pillow.

"Did they check your glucose level when you came in?"

She put her head back and passed out.

"Heather?"

The alarms went off. Grissom pushed the call button for the nurse.

The nurse rushed in.

"She's diabetic. I think she's going into shock."

"The patient never told us."

The nurse began to asses Heather. She called for the doctor. They ordered insulin for her.

Grissom stayed until Heather woke up. He wanted answers. She would not talk to him.

Once he knew she was okay he went back to the lab to see how the investigation was going. He could not understand why Heather was not helping with it. He knew there was something wrong with her, he just didn't know what.

He found Sara processing the evidence from the scene.

"Any results on Heather Kessler?"

Sara looked at him and just relayed the facts.

"So far, all the prints came back to her. Player piano, whiskey bottle, shot glass. There was some lipstick around the rim. I haven't had a chance to test it. You think it's her shade?"

She could not resist that shot. Her anger was going to get the better of her if she wasn't careful.

Grissom didn't seem to notice.

"Heather's not supposed to drink because of her diabetes, which could explain the hypoglycemia and shock."

Sara nodded. If he wanted to play professional here she could do that too.

"Catherine found a pair of men's underwear in the toilet. Any evidence on them would have been washed away, but she also found seminal fluid in a tissue on the floor nearby."

"She was sexually assaulted?"

"She refused an SAE kit, so we'll never know. There were no defensive wounds, no skin or rope fibers under her nails. At first blush, I figured he might have ambushed her, except that I noted three separate strangulation attempts on her neck."

Sara showed Grissom the photos she had taken.

Sara continued, "She had time to fight back."

"This makes no sense. She's very strong and tough as nails. Why didn't she fight?"

"You can answer that better than me."

Grissom noticed that Sara was upset.

"Sara, are you okay working on this case?"

"I'm fine."

"Fine?"

"Grissom, I'm fine. I'll let you know when I find something that will help."

She went back to work and did not look at him.

He stared at her for a long time before he turned to leave. He knew there would be talk around the lab again about him and Heather. He knew it would be hard on her. He sighed and went back to his office. Now was not the time to get into this.

He called the hospital when he got back to his office to check on Heather. He learned that she had left the hospital against medical advice and gone home. He quickly left to go see her. There was something wrong and he was going to get to the bottom of it.

He called Sara to tell her where he was going.

"Sidle"

"Hi, Sara."

"What is it?"

"Heather checked herself out of the hospital against the advice of her doctor. I am headed over to her house to see what is going on with her. I just wanted to let you know where I was."

"Fine."

There was silence on the line for a moment.

"Sara, are you still there?"

"Yes."

There was little emotion in her voice.

"I hope you understand. I need to know what is going on with her."

"Whatever. I'll see you later."

With that she hung up. Her phone rang again. This time she checked the caller ID. It was Catherine.

"Sidle."

"Hi Sara, I need you to come back out to Oakley's Old West Town. We have another dead body. Someone shot the Sheriff."

"I'll be right there. Just let me put away the evidence I was working on."

The work was welcome. It was not Heather's stuff and Grissom would not be there. She needed space right now. Sara just hoped that Catherine would keep her mouth shut about Grissom and Heather. She really wasn't in the mood right now to hear about Catherine's theories.

She arrived and Catherine briefed her and then they got to work. There was no talk of Heather this time. Sara was glad. She needed to think about something else.

She was working a double and that was fine with Sara. She didn't want to go home and face Grissom right now anyway. Work would help. It always had. It was her way of avoiding the stuff she didn't want to face.

They processed the scene and Sara then volunteered to go to the autopsy. Catherine was grateful. She needed to fill Brass in on what happened. Then she needed to talk to Heather again. They had enough for a warrant. Catherine and Brass had discovered that the victim called Heather the day before. He might have been responsible for her attempted murder.

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When the autopsy was done Sara took the bullet to ballistics for analysis. They needed to confirm what gun had fired the bullet.

Mandy was working on the fingerprints. Catherine was going to talk to Heather. Sara continued to work on processing the evidence from the latest case.

Catherine returned from Heather's about two hours later. She huffed as she sat down in the layout room with Sara.

"Can you believe that we found Grissom at Heather's when we got there? Apparently he stayed the night with her. I can't believe he would do that. She is our prime suspect and now he is her alibi. I swear for someone who is so smart he can do some dumb things. Oh and can you believe he is building he own miniature of his office?"

Sara went cold inside. Had she heard Catherine right? Grissom stayed the night with Heather again?

Sara tried to keep focused on the case.

Wendy walked in just then.

Sara was relieved.

"The semen on the tissue did not come from Vernon Porter."

Catherine answered, "Well, the underwear that I pulled from the toilet was a 38-inch waist. Porter was a 34. He didn't attack Heather."

Sara added, "But we know he was there."

"One of Heather's clients pays for a kinky Wild West fantasy only to discover he has an audience?"

Wendy said, "Well, I don't want to derail this but why kill Porter and not go after Heather?"

"Cause she's not talking. Her business is based on discretion, couldn't count on Porter's discretion."

Catherine's phone rang. She had a text message.

Sara continued her line of thinking "So this client goes back to Oakley's the next night and shoots Porter."

"Oh, Mandy got a hit off the revolver and the ammo box. Benjamin Oakley."

"His family owns the place. He had access."

"Yeah, I'm calling Brass."

Catherine turned to leave as did Wendy just as Grissom walked in.

Catherine said to Grissom, "Sara will fill you in." and to Brass on the phone, "Hey, Jim…"

Grissom looked at Sara. He could read her body language, she was pissed.

Coldly she said, "We may have a suspect."

Sara began to gather the photos off the table. Grissom watched her. She was more than pissed. She was furious.

Grissom began, "I'm the only one Heather trusts."

"I get it."

"Sara…"

"Yeah?"

He couldn't say what he wanted to say here in the middle of the lab. He wanted to reassure her, to tell her that nothing happened, but there were too many ears around. Sara was not in the mood to talk right now either

"It's fine. Do what you need to do."

With that she took the photos and left. She needed to put some distance between Grissom and herself.

Grissom though it best not to follow her. He went back to his office. He knew that there was something was wrong with Heather and he needed to get to the bottom of it. He thought about what Heather had told him last night. They had stayed up most of the night talking. She told him about the custody fight with her ex-husband for their granddaughter. Grissom began t believe that this was the root of the issue. She was depressed. He was beginning to think this was a suicide attempt. He had requested the custody hearing report from the case earlier in the day. Judy brought it to him. He began reading.

Heather was denied custody or visitation with Alison, her granddaughter. She was planning on leaving a great deal of money to Alison.

Grissom decided to meet with Jerome Kessler. He wanted to get to the bottom of this.

The call was made and Jerome agreed to meet Grissom in the park where he was taking Alison to play.

Grissom figured out that Heather had sold herself to Oakley to get the money for Alison's trust fund. It was nearly a million dollars.

Jerome agreed to let Heather see Alison once he knew what she had done. Grissom would arrange it

Oakley was bent of getting what he paid for. Brass stopped him before he killed Heather.

Heather just wanted to have it all over.

She changed out of her outfit and took a shower.

She had just dressed when Grissom knocked at her door. She opened it to find Grissom standing there.

Heather looked at him. She just wished Grissom would let her do that she wanted to do.

She sighed, "Leave me alone. I didn't ask you to save me."

He answered, "I know. What am I supposed to do? You're my friend. Besides, there is someone I want you to meet."

He took Heather's hand and pulled her outside. Standing at the edge of the steps was Jerome Kessler holding Alison.

Heather looked at Grissom before she hesitantly walked toward Alison.

Grissom retreated and let them talk.

There was something he needed to take care of…Sara. He had to get her to understand.

He knew she was hurt and angry by what he and done. The fact that he caused her pain was disheartening to him. He suffered when she suffered. It was part of being in love with someone. He had not realized that until now. He had to make it right. He did not want her to be in pain.

He found her at home in bed. She heard him come in and pretended to be asleep when he entered the room. She was not in the mood to talk to him.

He began, "Sara?"

She said nothing.

She felt the mattress dip as he sat on the bed. She felt his hand on her back. She recoiled from his touch.

That hurt him. He knew then just how badly he had hurt her.

He sighed, "Sara, look."

That was it. She sat up and turned to face him.

"Look?" she screamed at him, "You think I should understand what you did? Well, I don't. How could you do that?"

The tears started then.

His heart nearly broke with hers.

It was then he realized how deeply he had hurt her. His heart ached.

He reached out to hold, but she pulled away from him.

"Sara, nothing happened between us. She is really just my friend. She was hurting. She tried to commit suicide. That was what this was all about."

Sara didn't answer. She had talked to Catherine and Brass she already knew that.

He tried again softly, "Sara…"

This time she didn't pull away as he reached out to touch her.

She looked in his eyes. He saw pain and sadness reflected in her eyes.

"I promise you, Sara, I will never do anything betray you."

"You spent the night with her…again."

"I know, but she was suicidal. I located her ex-husband. He had gotten custody of their granddaughter. Heather had been denied any custody or visitation. She arranged for a huge trust fund for Alison at the expense of her life. She sold herself to Oakley in a suicide attempt."

She looked at him, but she didn't say anything.

"I managed to get Jerome to let Heather see Alison. I just came from there."

The tears rolled off Sara's cheeks.

Grissom began to understand how much his actions had hurt Sara. He had not seen her like this since the night he went there and she told him about her family. She had been vulnerable that night and she was vulnerable like that now.

"Sara, I'm sorry."

"Gil, it hurt me when you went to her like that."

"I know." He was trying not to break down now.

"I had to listen to people at the lab talk about you and Heather. Catherine went on and on. There was nothing I could do but listen to it. Do you know how hard that was for me?"

He understood then what Sara had been though. She had not had anyone to talk to about this.

"I'm so sorry Sara."

"I know you are. It's gonna take me some time."

"I know. I love you, Sara."

"I love you too. Loving you is not the problem. It never has been."

"Sara, I would never do anything to hurt you."

"You did hurt me and I'm not sure you understand that."

"Sara, I do understand."

He pulled her close to him and held her. She was sobbing again.

"I hope you understand. I can't take it again. It hurts too much."

"I do Sara."

They held each other for a while longer before Grissom pulled back.

"Are you hungry? Do you want to eat?"

"No, I'm just so tired. I haven't slept in two days now. I just want to sleep."

"Okay, I'm just going to change and I will join you. I think we can both use the sleep."

She nodded as he changed for bed. He crawled in and joined her He pulled her close and held her as she fell asleep. He knew he had hurt her. He never meant to, but he had. He felt awful. His mind would not stop turning this over and over in his mind. He kissed the back of her head.

"I'm so sorry, Sara. I love you."

She stirred but did not wake. He soon fell asleep with her in his arms.


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: There is a generous amount of dialogue from Living Doll in this one and a bit from Dead Doll. **

**Thanks to Karen for the Beta. You are awesome.**

Grissom was the first to wake the next day. They had managed to sleep for 9 hours in a row. That was some kind of record. Sara was still pressed up against his side. Her head was resting on his arm. He didn't want to move for fear of waking her. She needed to sleep. The last few days had been hard on her. He could still feel the sting of her words like she had slapped him. He had hurt her, something he never intended to do. He knew he could be insensitive at times and self-absorbed. He was also hopelessly in love with the woman curled up against him.

Grissom sighed and tried to move without waking Sara. He slipped his arm free and then moved slowly off the bed. Sara did not stir. He was grateful for that. He quietly headed for the bathroom and then to the kitchen to make coffee. He had finished his miniature a few days ago and had taken it to his office. He found the latest copy of a forensics journal and began reading as he drank his coffee. He was reading an article on blood spatter analysis. He was working on case reviews when Sara came in. He did not hear Sara enter the room.

"Hey bugman whatcha doing?"

"Hey, when did you get up?"

"I smelled coffee and wanted some. I woke up a few minutes ago. I came looking for you."

He sensed a hint of worry in her voice. He wondered if she was worried he had left without telling her again.

"Coffee is in the kitchen. I'm just reviewing cases. I need to catch up on my paperwork."

"Oh, okay. I need coffee. I will be right back. You need more while I'm in there?"

Grissom looked at his cup and nodded, "Thanks."

Sara returned a short time later.

Grissom sighed, "I hope we catch a break soon on this one."

He tossed a case file over for Sara to see. It was the miniature case. She knew he had been thinking about this one. The answer was just out of his grasp. It was there but he just had to dig it out. He was finding small clues here and there, but nothing that led them to the killer. The Family Court judge had been clear that there would be no fishing expeditions. They would have to go in with a name. They were able to eliminate a person here or there. It seemed that the Dell family had strange luck. Many of them had met with strange and untimely deaths. They had discovered that there had been another death involving a backhoe.

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Hodges had come in and was talking to Grissom about the Dell case.

Grissom's phone went off. It was Brass.

"Grissom"

Brass answered, "Court order for another Dell kid in Old Henderson—1621 Water Street. It just came through. Are you up for a house call?"

"I'll meet you there."

Grissom got up and walked out without even saying goodbye to Hodges.

Brass gave Grissom more information when he got to the scene. Brass interviewed the manager.

"So, we've been trying to contact Mr. Dell for a couple of weeks. Have you heard from him?

The manager of the building answered, "No, but that's probably 'cause the rent's due. See, around here, we mostly have the kind of tenants who don't like to pay their bills much….this is the one."

The manager unlocked the door of the apartment.

The manager said, "You got my authority to use deadly force."

Grissom scowled at him.

Brass snapped, "Hey, shut up and stand back."

Brass entered the apartment followed by Grissom. It is cold in the apartment.

Brass called out, "Anybody home? This is the police."

Grissom remarked, "Someone likes it cold."

Brass shrugged as he quipped, "Vegas in May, plus global warming."

Grissom was looking at a collection of action figures on a shelf when Brass discovered a body in the bathroom.

"Hey, Gil, we got a body."

Grissom froze when he found a miniature of a man on one of the shelves. It looked like the other miniature figures from the other scenes.

Brass called for backup and the coroner then he called out to Grissom.

"What, you lose your interest in dead bodies?"

Grissom was fixated on the miniature figure.

"No. But I'm afraid the Miniature Killer was here first.

Brass saw the miniature of Trevor Dell and the life size dead one in the bathroom.

"You really think it was the Miniature Killer?"

"I don't know, but I need Sara here to help with this."

Brass nodded as Grissom dialed for Sara.

"Sidle"

"Hi, I need you to meet me at 1621 Water Street, Apartment 2B. We have another dead body and another miniature figure. Not a whole scene, but a figure."

"I'll be right there."

"Thanks."

When Sara got there, David Phillips was already there with Grissom.

She came in to see Grissom crouched in the doorway.

"Miniature Killer?"

Grissom stood up and sighed, "It's hard to say. Haven't found a miniature of the scene yet. Just this."

He showed her the evidence bag with the miniature Trevor inside.

He continued, "Clothes match. The…uh…vic's a PT nurse, but there's no blood on the doll, and it's not posed like the body."

Sara looked around and saw the bottle of bathroom cleaner with bleach.

"Bleach at the scene, just like the others….Maybe this one wasn't planned. Maybe the killer has to make the miniature after the fact, which is why it's so cold in here, to preserve the body."

Grissom nodded at the possibility. It was as good as any theory they had at this point.

"I don't think we can rule anything out. It's all yours, my dear."

He placed his hand in the small of her back like he had done a hundred times. It was a reassuring move in which Sara took comfort. She was a bit taken aback by his term of endearment in public. It seemed so natural. Grissom didn't seem to notice.

He left the bathroom for Sara to process. If David noticed what Grissom said, he showed no sign. Sara was grateful for that at least.

She began to process the scene. She searched everywhere finding blood on the tile and bleach on the floor. The mirror was broken, which could account for the nasty head wound that Trevor had. David had taken the body to the morgue. Sara was alone in the apartment now with just the police officer. It was a bit eerie.

It took several hours to process the apartment, but finally Sara was on her way back to the Lab. She was tired, but knew there would be a debriefing when she got back. They all met in the break room to share what they knew.

Warrick had discovered that there had been no phone or IM activity for 12 days. Nick found out that the cause of death was cerebral hemorrhage due to multiple blunt force trauma. Sara agreed that the injuries were consistent with what she found at the scene and that there could have been a struggle. Grissom had found a fingerprint on the doll but nothing came from AFIS. There were epithelials in the print and Wendy was running them as they spoke.

The team ended shift. Grissom found Sara waiting in his office for him.

"Hey."

"Hi, so do you want to get some breakfast before we head home."

"Sure, just let me get my things. I'll meet you at the car…Sara, good work on that scene today."

She turned, "Thanks."

They ate breakfast at the diner and headed home to rest. Both of them were tired. Grissom was going in early to work on the miniature case again. He wanted to know what Wendy found and he had some other leads to work on. It was going to be a long day.

Sara fell asleep quickly, but Grissom took longer. The key to this case was just beyond his fingertips and he knew it. He had to keep working. He got a few hours sleep before he went into work. He had left a note for Sara so that she wouldn't worry where he was. The knowledge of the pain he caused her when he had stayed with Heather was still present in his mind. It would be a long time before he forgot that anguish in her eyes when he came home that night.

He never wanted to see that kind of pain again.

He headed into work and let Sara sleep.

Grissom had just come in when Nick had come to talk to him in his office. Wendy came in and said that the DNA on the doll was female. Grissom had gotten a response to his inquiry about the miniature metal work. He had gone to the shop and found that a female named Natalie had commissioned the piece. It was enough to get the records opened. Sophia had obtained the records and found that Natalie Davis was put up for adoption by her birth father when her sister died. They went to talk to the foster family and then the birth father. They found that Natalie was disturbed and that she had gone to live with the Dells.

Catherine met Grissom and they went to talk to the birth father. He told them about what happened to her and her sister. When they were done Grissom called Sara on the way back to the lab.

She had slept until 5 that night and when she awoke she read the note he left her. It made her smile. He'd left her money to go to her favorite vegetarian restaurant. He said he wanted to take her, but he had to work and that she should have dinner on him. It made her smile.

She was just leaving when her cell rang. She looked at the caller ID.

"Hello, Gilbert."

She loved to tease him and call him Gilbert. He'd once told her that only her and his mother ever called him that.

"Hey, we got an ID one the miniature killer. Her name is Natalie Davis.

The elevator doors slid open and she stepped out into the heat.

"One of Ernie Dell's fosters?"

"Yeah, Catherine and I just spoke to the biological father. He says he put Natalie up for adoption after she shoved her kid sister out of a tree house.

"Does he know where she is now?"

"No, but with a name, it's just a matter of time."

"All right, I'll be right there. I'll meet you at the Lab."

Sara closed her phone and smiled. She wished she had thanked Grissom for the dinner. She always thought of a hundred things to tell him when they hung up. She could tell him when she got to the lab. She had not been paying attention to her surroundings when she turned off the car alarm. She opened the trunk. She was still thinking about Grissom when she heard her name being called.

"Sara?"

Sara turned as Natalie fired a taser gun at her. The barbs made a direct hit. Sara heard the crackling of the electrical charge and then felt the pain as her body no longer responded to her commands. She could hardly breathe as she hit the ground. She remembered nothing after that.

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Grissom arrived at the lab and went to his office. He had a lead. He walked into his office and saw a miniature on his desk. It had not been there before. It was of a car accident. It was set in the desert. Under the car Grissom could see a hand moving.

His heart beat faster as he realized what he had found. The killer had delivered the miniature to his office and left it on his desk. He took a tissue from the box on his desk and picked up the car. He was horrified to see a miniature of Sara under the car. His heart that had been beating so fast threatened to stop beating at all. The world began to move in slow motion. His first thought was to call Sara. It went to voice mail.

The next call he made was to Brass. At this point he didn't care who knew about their relationship. He only knew that he had to find her.

"Brass"

"Jim, Sara's missing. There was a miniature of her under a car on my desk. We have to find her. She was eating at The Garden on Tropicana. I talked to her as she was leaving. See if her car is still there. We have to find her. I'm afraid that Natalie has her."

"Slow down, Gil. What do you mean that Sara is missing?"

"Jim, you have to find her. Go to the Parking Structure and look for her car, please. I found a miniature on my desk. Sara is under a car in the desert. I talked to her twenty minutes ago."

"Okay, I'm on my way. I'll call you back. I'm about five minutes from there now."

"Thanks."

Brass could hear the urgency in Grissom's voice. He had known about his relationship with Sara for a while now, but had said nothing to him or Sara about it. He knew Grissom would not call if he was not sure.

Grissom kept trying to call her.

Brass arrived at Sara's car and found her keys on the ground and the trunk open. Her phone was in the trunk with her kit. The phone rang and Grissom's name came up on the caller ID

Grissom was walking through the halls of CSI. He was looking for Judy to ask who had been in his office.

Grissom tried to call Sara again, "Come on, Sara pick up. Please pick up."

It went to voicemail again. He didn't leave a message.

"Who was in my office while I was gone?"

Judy answered, "No one, just some girl from Janitorial. She went in, vacuumed, emptied out the trash. That's all."

Grissom stopped walking and headed back to his office. He knew then that Natalie had been in his office. He called Catherine and the rest of the team to the layout room and filled them in. He knew that freaking out would not find Sara. He had to think. He was good at that. The world suddenly moved in slow motion and at light speed all at the same time. Every second counted.

He told them that Sara was missing and showed them the miniature. He told them to find what they could since he had a lead to follow up on and then would be right back.

Grissom accessed the computer and found what he was looking for. Natalie had been working here in the lab. Had she seen Grissom and Sara together at some point? He didn't care now about that. He just wanted her back.

They all stared at it for a few minutes before anyone spoke. It brought back memories of Nick's abduction two year before.

Greg was the first to speak.

"The doll's still alive. That means that Sara's still alive."

Nick was next, "Generic stretch of desert. She could be anywhere in a four-state radius."

Catherine broke in, "Let's just focus on the details. There's always something to go on."

Warrick added, "She has to make these in advance, right? But how do you plan a car wreck. There's no way to know how the car's going to land…..Unless you wreck the car first, and then put her under it."

Nick had been examining the car, "I think I got a VIN number."

Greg went to the computer, "Give me the first six."

Nick did so as Grissom walked in with a file, "Her name is Natalie Davis, and she works for our janitorial service."

Warrick was shocked, "What?"

Catherine added, "Here in the lab?"

"For over a month. She's never been arrested, so there's nothing to flag on a security check. She used Ernie Dell's address on her work form. She has no home phone and no driver's license."

Greg called up the car and found that Sara had been the lead CSI assigned to the case. Grissom remembered the case. He had finished his scene early and had gone to help Sara. It had been a long night and he wanted to help her finish so they could go home. He didn't remember seeing Natalie in the crowd, but why would he? He didn't even know who she was then. He did now. As they reviewed the photos, they discovered she was in the background.

"Oh, my God. She was at the crime scene."

Nick was processing out loud, "So, she salvages the car, and somehow gets it out to the desert, and then grabs, Sara, and puts her under it?"

It hit Grissom all at once. The miniature killer had Sara. She had Sara under a car and was daring him to find her. This was different than the others. There was no connection to Sara accept Grissom. Catherine was the first to say it.

"I don't know. This just feels different."

Grissom wasn't sure if he was even talking out loud now.

"It is different."

All his thoughts now were focused on Sara.

He remembered what he had done at the crime scene. It had seemed so innocent at the time. Nobody would have noticed the simple caress he had given her arm when he took the camera from her shoulder. It was so fast. Who could have noticed? Natalie had. Grissom's stomach turned. He could not believe it. What all their friends had missed for two years was blatant to a stranger.

He was speaking again unaware that he was saying it out loud, "This girl holds me responsible for the death of Ernie Dell. I took away the only person she ever loved, so she's going to do the same thing to me."

The team was stunned. Nobody spoke. Nobody knew what to say.

Grissom spoke absently again, "NotUrLittleBisqueDoll…"

He remembered that name from the website. He rushed out of the room unaware of the bomb he had just dropped on his team. He didn't care at this point. The only thing he cared about was finding Sara.

He called for an Attorney General's waiver to find the person who owned the account. They found Natalie's address. Nick and Warrick went with the police to find Natalie.

They did capture her, but there was no sign of Sara. Nick and Warrick stayed behind to process her apartment. Sophia brought her in to the police station.

Brass and Grissom were standing outside the interview room. Brass had said something about dripping bleach on her until she told them where Sara was. Grissom barely heard what he said.

He was staring at Natalie. He was thinking. She didn't look like a monster that was capable of killing all those people. She was young and not all that big. You would never pick her out of a crowd. She looked in all ways rather ordinary. Who could have guessed what lurked in her head. She sat very still as they watched her.

Grissom observed her as he might one of his bugs. He watched her for a long time. He finally spoke.

"I want to talk to her, Jim…Alone"

Brass didn't think it was a good idea.

Grissom didn't care. He needed to find Sara. Her location was locked in Natalie's head. He needed to get information from her. He would get it anyway he could.

His first course of action was to try to talk to her and see if she would give anything up. He could be quite charming when he needed to be. He had used that to his advantage many times in his career. He went in and tried the gentle approach.

"Hi, Natalie. My name's Gil. It's so nice to finally meet you. I…uh…probably shouldn't say this, but…I'm a huge fan.

Natalie looked at him but said nothing.

Grissom continued to talk.

"I've been a crime scene investigator for 22 years. I've worked over two-thousand homicides, and you are by far….the best I've ever seen. I mean…you're such a great artist. And to be so young and talented and…so pretty. I've thought about you every night for the last nine months. I even tried to do what you do. I built my own miniature."

Natalie nodded at him.

"You saw it?"

She nodded again.

"How'd I do?"

She shrugged at him as if to say it wasn't that great.

Grissom changed tracks.

"Do you play chess?"

She shook her head. At least she was engaged with him now even if she wasn't talking.

"I play as a hobby. It quiets my mind, you know? Soothes me. At one point, I became so consumed by it that whenever I closed my eyes, I could see the chess pieces moving all around the board. I was obsessed with correcting all my bad moves. I wondered if a game could ever be played without a mistake. I'd love to play you some time."

Natalie smiled. Grissom knew he was playing her now. He needed information from Natalie and he was working her.

"I'm so impressed by the way you embrace your passion. You'd make a great CSI. This last one was brilliant. You studied your crime scene so well. Tracking the car to the junkyard and then towing it all the way out to the desert where you knew we wouldn't find it. And then… the way you killed Sara."

The words chilled Grissom even as he spoke them. The idea that Sara was dead was very real to him.

Natalie gasped and shook her head.

"I didn't kill her."

Grissom's heart skipped a beat. Maybe she was still alive, but for how long. Natalie wanted him to stuffe like she had suffered. He knew that.

"You didn't?"

Natalie shook her head. Suddenly Natalie's eyes changed. They became sharper, colder.

She spoke, "This is about her. Her, her, her! It's always about her!"

Grissom lost all patience with Natalie. He was on a razor's edge emotionally right now and he needed information from her.

"Natalie, listen to me…tell me where she is."

Something in Natalie snapped. She was no longer present with Grissom. She was somewhere else. She began to sing the same song her father had sung in the show Grissom had seen with Catherine.

Grissom became more urgent.

"Natalie. Please tell me where Sara is."

Natalie continued to sing as if Grissom was not even there.

Grissom lost it. He grabbed Natalie by the shoulders and shook her.

"STOP IT! Just stop this! Tell me where Sara is!"

Natalie ignored him and continued to sing.

Grissom let go. He came to the realization that she had had a mental break of some kind. He was not going to get anything from her. _Oh, God, Sara, what have I done to you? Where are you?_

Grissom sat there for what seemed like an eternity. Brass came in to take Natalie to a holding cell until the psychiatrist could come examine her.

Grissom felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see his friend looking down at him. Grissom could say nothing. He had no words.

"Gil, we'll find her."

**A/N: I know a cliffy. Had to do it. Karen made me. Blame her. I will try to post more soon. **


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: There is dialogue from Dead Doll in here. Writing this chapter gave me a new appreciation of how brilliantly this episode was written. I love the CSI writers, they are the best.**

**Thanks to Karen for talking this one out with me and helping me with some tough spots. All mistakes are mine. **

Sara awoke in the trunk of a car. She was not sure for a few moments how she got there. Then it came back to her. She had been leaving the restaurant and Grissom had called her and told her about Natalie Davis. That was where she got a bit fuzzy. She remembered someone calling her name and then pain, lots of pain. She looked around the trunk and saw the pull release glowing in the dark. Her hands were restrained behind her with a tie wrap. She felt around the trunk for something to help her get out of her situation. That was when she saw the taser barb sticking out of her vest. She pulled it out and managed to pop out the locking mechanism on the tie wrap. Her hands were free, but she was still trapped in the trunk. The years of finding dead bodies in trunks weighed heavily on her mind. She didn't want her friends pulling her body out of the trunk of this car. Jumping out of a speeding car was not an option either. She had cleaned up too many road pizzas in her career too. She would have to look for another way out.

_Think, Sara. You have to get out of here. You know what this woman is capable of. _

She found the loose speaker screw and managed to take it out and pop open the back seat of the car and surprised Natalie while she was driving. The car slowed enough during the attack that Sara tried to jump from the car. That only brought more pain. She could feel the ground scrape the skin from her face and arm as she rolled away. Her vision was blurred from hitting her head. She saw tail lights and then the car turned around and Natalie's face was above her again. She tried to stay awake but the ringing in her head was slowly pulling her under again. She thought of Grissom as she slipped into darkness. He would not understand where she was. She was supposed to meet him back at the lab. He didn't know where she was.

Sara awoke when she felt water being poured down her throat. Natalie was giving her water and Sara's first thought was why? _If_ _she wanted to kill me why is she giving me water? She is saving me for something else_ Sara came to realize. Sara hated feeling trapped. It brought back memories from childhood hiding from the fights and her father. She would hide in the crawl space under the stairs until they were done fighting. It was from that small space that she had seen that last fight. She had seen her mother kill her father in the last desperate attempt to end the abuse.

Being trapped in the car with Natalie and not knowing what was going to happen to her brought those feelings back to the surface. She had fought long and hard to bury them. She had told Grissom what happened to her as a child and he had loved her anyway. She had feared he would run, but he didn't. _I didn't tell him I love him when I talked to him earlier. I should have told him I love him. Stop it! Think, Sara._

Sara weakly began to talk, "Natalie."

Natalie looked at Sara in the mirror.

Sara continued, "Natalie Davis. I know who you are. I know a lot about you. You make miniatures. I've seen you before, right? You work at the lab on the cleaning crew."

Natalie didn't respond.

"So sorry about hitting you back there. I guess, uh…I have a fear of trunks. In my business, you only find one thing in them."

There was still no response from Natalie. Sara kept talking.

"We actually have a lot in common, you know. I was a foster kid, too."

That caught Natalie's attention. She looked at Sara in the mirror.

"Happy, happy, joy, joy. I do know what it's like to be alone…afraid that nobody's ever going to be there for you."

Natalie whispered, "Ernie was."

Sara felt dizzy again, but she continued. She had found a chink in the armor.

"Yes, he was. That's true, Natalie. I lost my father, too. I know that Ernie loved you. He would not have wanted you to do this."

Natalie whispered again, "Ernie loved me more than Grissom could ever love you."

"Grissom?"

Sara could feel the darkness coming again. Her thinking was getting fuzzy again.

Then it dawned on her what was going on. Natalie was using her to get to Grissom. She could feel herself slipping again.

"Oh, I know what this is about…Natalie. What did you put in the water, Natalie?...Huh?"

The world around her blurred again.

She fought to stay awake, but lost the battle.

Sara woke up when she felt the pressure. It took her a few minutes to figure out what was happening. Natalie was lowering a car down on her. She felt pain as her arms were pinned by the frame. She screamed at Natalie not to do it, but Natalie continued. The car lowered down and put enormous pressure on Sara's body.

Natalie left her there. She was trapped. It was dark and so very quiet…until the thunder started. Rain. That was bad. She looked around but could not see much.

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Grissom watched as Natalie was taken away. Brass was trying to comfort him. He assured Grissom that Search and Rescue was out looking for Sara now. The temperature was dropping so it would be easier to find her using body heat.

Grissom knew he was trying to make him feel better. He also knew that if she was under the car she was shielded and the Infrared would not find her. Then he caught a glimpse of the news. It called for thunder storms and flash floods. All else disappeared as he had to know how the scene would be affected by the flooding. He knew that Natalie build exact replicas. If he poured water on the miniature he would know how it would handle the water. He was horrified when the doll stopped moving as the whole area was flooded and the area under the car was filled with water. _Oh, God, Sara, where are you? Please be alright. This is my fault. This happened because of me._

Grissom knew falling apart would not find Sara. Finding her was what he needed to focus on right now. There had to be clues there always were. They would find her. They had to; there was no other option that Grissom would accept.

Nick had called from Natalie's apartment with desert locations. They narrowed the search area down from that and the mileage on the car. But it was still a huge area. They needed more information.

Grissom let his thoughts wander to Sara for a moment. He remembered the time she had pretended to wipe chalk from his cheek at a scene. Her touch had electrified him even then. Why had he fought her for so long? He missed so many years with her. He fought back the sting of tears that threatened. Tears would not help now. He needed to focus on finding Sara. Clues, there had to be clues. There was trace on the car. Hodges would find something. As much as Hodges annoyed Grissom, he was good at what he did.

Catherine was at the scene of Sara's abduction. Greg was helping her. Grissom was at the lab trying to track things down from there. Greg had brought the surveillance tapes back from the parking structure. Grissom and Greg poured over them to see if there was anything they could learn.

Grissom watched as Sara was tasered and dragged away by Natalie. His stomach turned. He had witnessed much more brutal actions in his career, but not to someone he loved. He remembered that last fight they had about Heather. Seeing Sara dragged away forced him to fight the urge to vomit. Like the tears, it would do no good. He needed to focus his energy on the evidence. He called Brass and told him to focus his search in the western desert.

He went back to his desk and done something he had not done in years. He prayed. He had always had faith in God, but had not prayed in a long time. He felt a bit hypocritical praying now that he needed something, but it was all he could think to do. The prayers from a childhood spent in church came back to him. He didn't realize he was talking out loud as the tears threatened again.

"Please let her be alright. This was not her fault, it was mine. Don't punish her for my mistake."

Brass had come to see him. He stood at the door and listened to his friend pray. He did not interrupt.

When Grissom stopped Brass spoke to him.

"Gil, we're doing everything we can."

"I know. I just feel…helpless. Why can't we find anything to go on? She's been gone for five hours now. Where is she? Why can't we find her? I'm not sure how much more of this I can take."

Grissom had plenty to work on, but nothing seemed to lead to Sara. There had to be something more to go on. The hours were torturous. He knew that each precious moment that slipped by meant less chance of finding her. The weather was working against them. It was definitely working against Sara. He had learned from the miniature that she would be underwater if it rained too hard. He worried about that constantly. He could only imagine what she was going though. Not knowing caused knots in his stomach. He was short with people. He could only think about Sara. Unless what people told him helped find her he snapped at them. Hodges had given them some more information to work with but nothing had given them a location.

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Sara was still under the car. There was no way of telling how much time had passed. She had screamed and thrashed at first, but it did no good. There was not much she could do. The rain began to fall. At least it had chased the coyotes away. She was cold and wet. The thunder was rolling. She knew the storm was going to be a bad one. She also knew she was in a basin that would flood with water. She did not see a way out at the moment. She had tried pulling her arms free only to have her arm broken. She felt the bones snap. Her left arm throbbed and it hurt less if she was still.

Sara could not move, but she could think. She thought about Grissom. Surely by now they had missed her. They would be searching for her now. She thought about the fact that they would not know where to look. She was not sure they had a miniature to work from, or if a miniature would do any good. She remembered from childhood hiding from the fights and the pain of beatings. Being hidden then had been a comfort when she was a child. It meant safety. Now it meant danger. She was trapped and she had no way out. The car was too heavy to move.

The rain began to fall harder. The basin she was in was filling up. She had to struggle to breathe now. The water was near her head. The car had shifted and she was able to free her right arm. The left was still pinned between a rock and the car. She grabbed for anything she could use to try to free her arm. Her right hand found the rearview mirror and wrenched it free. She began pounding the rock with it, but nothing happened. The water was nearly over her head. If she didn't do something soon she would drown. The water that threatened to take her life all of the sudden saved it. The car rocked slightly as it began to float in the pool of rainwater. It was just enough for Sara to pull her injured arm free. She grinned as she was able to pull herself from under the car. She was alone and soaked in the pouring rain, but at least she was free. The mud was slick as she began to walk from the car.

Staying with the car did not seem to be the wise choice. The rain was flooding the area and she needed to get to higher ground and try to get her bearings. She had no idea where she was or how long she had been there. She just knew she had to find a way out of the desert.

She began to walk. She did not even know what direction she was headed. She could see a hill in front of her. She headed for it.

As she walked she was haunted by the ghosts of her past. It has been said that when you face peril that your life can flash before your eyes. What flashed before Sara's eyes were the ghosts of her past. She saw her mother and father. She relived that night her life changed again. She relived the fights. The scars from her past ran deep. She had buried them for years, but not tonight. She remembered as she walked.

Then she sought to drive those thoughts from her head. She thought of Grissom and their relationship. She thought of the last fight they had. She knew her past had played a part in her reaction. It was her lack of trust that led to her fear that Grissom would leave her. She knew now that he would not.

She was thinking about how hard this would be on him. She remembered what it was like when Nick had gone missing. The anguish they went through. They had clues then. Grissom did not know where she was. She did not know if they had found a miniature or not. Changes are they had, but would they be able to find her. She could not take the chance and kept walking. If she was going to get out of this alive, she would have to walk to safety.

From her years in the desert she knew it would rain for several more hours. It always did. She was on her own; a position she was used to. It was up to her now. She would make it out alive. She had to. She was Sara the survivor.

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Nick was working on it at Natalie's apartment. He had vowed not to leave until he found something. His frustration and fatigue was getting the best of him. He picked up the end of the bed and slammed it back down. His thoughts turned to his abduction and what Sara had told him about the case with Cassie. He was the only one that believed she was alive. They hadn't given up on him and he had not given up on Cassie. Nick was not about to give up on Sara. He would find something. He looked around the room barely able to maintain his emotions. There were drawings of Grissom and Sara and of Sara alone. Nick had never suspected that Sara and Grissom were in a relationship but it made sense and he was happy for them. More than anything he wanted to find Sara. He found out that it had been her that finally located what nursery he was buried in. He would never forget that. He would never forget what the team had done for him.

He noticed something that seemed familiar. It was early morning now and the dawn shed new light on what he was seeing. He saw an address that clicked in his brain. He checked the file. He'd found a clue. The wrecking yard where Natalie had purchased the Mustang. A break they could follow up on.

It set into motion a great many people. Brass confronted the man that sold the car about where he had taken it. The man was less than forthcoming at first. But with some not so gentle persuasion from Brass they had a location. They finally had a place to look.

Brass called Grissom.

"Gil, we have a location. Ice Box Canyon. I've notified S & R. They're on their way now with the Chopper. Sanders is with them now. Meet me in the parking lot and we'll head out there."

"Thanks."

It was all he could manage.

"Nick! We have a location. Come on, we have to meet Brass in the parking lot. Call Catherine and have her meet us at the scene."

Nick quickly got his things and met Grissom at the Denali. Neither realized it had gotten so late in the day. The sun rising high in the sky served as a brutal reminder of how long Sara had been missing out in the desert.

For all the rain last night, it was pushing 105° now and it was dry. That is how flash flooding worked. She had no water and no food.

For Grissom the action felt good. It was something to do. They knew where the car had been taken. It was nearly noon when they reached the spot they had marked on the map. The helicopter had been sent ahead with Greg in it. He had radioed ahead and told them the red Mustang was buried in the sand at the location they had been given.

The drive out was quiet. Grissom spoke little. Nick was used to it from Grissom. Now was not the time to question him about Sara. Grissom seemed lost in thought, so Nick remained quiet.

Grissom's thoughts were of Sara. He remembered many small moments they had spent together doing nothing. The days spent in bed reading, the nights spent making love, the dinners together. The times he loved best were when they were Gil and Sara, lovers. There was no supervisor/employee relationship when they are alone. They could just enjoy each other. He had nearly lost that when he went to Heather. He still thought about that. He had not made that up to her. He wondered if she really knew how much he loved her. He wanted just one more chance to tell her. He wanted one more kiss. The tears were just behind his eyes and he thanked God or sunglasses. He also silently thanked Nick for not talking. He could not do it right now.

Grissom sped down the dirt trail. _Hold on, Sara. We're on our way. I'm coming for you. Please be okay._ His greatest hope and worst fear was what he would find under that car. He could see the chopper circling over the location. He parked a short distance away and he and Nick ran to the car. They started digging. _Hang on, Honey. I'm here._ The amount of sand scared him. If she was under that sand then…no he could not go there. She was fine. She had to be. He dug with his bare hands to get to her.

Nick called out, "Sara!"

Nick dug until he found Sara's vest. Grissom stopped and sighed. Was she dead under the car or had she gotten out. He was not sure. The knots that had loosened when they arrived tightened again. He was glad he had not eaten. If he had he would have thrown it up at that point.

Nick continued to dig. He had to make sure Sara was not in the sand. He prayed she wasn't there. He knew what it meant if she was. _Don't let me find her. Please don't let me find her._

The tow truck had come to pull the Mustang out of the sand. Nick continued to dig. Sara wasn't there. She had gotten out from under the car.

Catherine came running toward the hole Nick was digging in.

She called out to him, "Nick!"

"She's not here."

Grissom was scouring the area for a clue or lead to follow. He found some foot prints in the mud that led away from the car.

Sophia shouted at them, "Guys! Park rangers said there's some roads on the other side of this basin. We're going to scout them."

Nick called out, "All right. I'm going with her."

Grissom was looking at some tracks he found leading away from the car.

_Good girl, Sara you got out from under that car, but where did you go? Honey, I'm coming. Hang on. Where did you go?_

He heard Catherine talking and called out to her, "Catherine, I got shoe prints."

Grissom started to follow them and then. Catherine came and followed him as he followed the footprints.

Catherine commented, "If there are shoe prints, that means she got out from under the car."

Grissom scanned the desert as Catherine gave directions to the police officers.

"Everybody listen up. We're searching on foot."

Grissom began walking in the same direction as the footprints. They knew where Sara wasn't. They needed to find where she was.

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Sara watched the sunrise from the top of a hill. The warmth of the sun would be welcome. She was chilled to the bone. She shivered against the chill of predawn. Most people thought of the desert as being hot, but it could be a bitterly cold place as well. There was no shelter and nothing to cover up with. She was thankful for the sun and the chance to dry off and warm up. The sun would be her enemy later in the day, but now it was a welcome sight.

She looked around and saw nothing but desert for miles. She could see nothing but desert stretched out before her in every direction. She surmised that her situation had not improved with the coming of dawn. The at least knew what direction she was headed in, but she had no idea of knowing if it was the right direction. She sighed and started walking. There was no way of telling if she was headed away from the road or toward it. Nobody knew where she was. Walking gave her something to do and it helped quiet the ghosts in her head.

As it got hotter, she wished for the cool of the night again. The heat was becoming oppressive. She was thirsty. All that water last night and now she had nothing to drink. The desert had a way of swallowing up any water that managed to fall. It always amazed Sara how fast so much water could disappear. It was not safe to drink it anyway. She was feeling the effect of no water now. Her mouth was dry. She was beginning to lose her orientation.

The mud was gone now. She knew she needed to mark her trail. She began stacking rocks so that she would not double back on her path. Three stacked rocks in the direction she was walking. Once she did come up on a pile of rocks and she changed her direction. She began reciting her multiplication tables to keep her mind busy and keep herself awake.

She was having trouble remembering even something as simple as her multiplication tables. Walking was becoming difficult. She had lost her orientation and her balance. She knew she was in trouble.

_Gil, I'm coming. I'm still alive. _

She fell down and slid down a hill, tumbling.

_Get up, Sara. You have to get up. Keep walking_.

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Catherine and Grissom followed the footprints for more than an hour. Then they disappeared. Grissom was searching for a sign. He found the piles of rocks. He knew Sara had left them. They would not have survived the rain like that. They had a long trail of them to follow. At the end of that trail Grissom and Catherine had nothing to go on. Grissom scanned the area with his binoculars. His heart stopped. There was a boot in the mud.

"Oh, no." he moaned as he began to run.

"What?" Catherine called out, not seeing what he saw. She followed as he ran. She then saw what he was running toward.

Grissom prayed on his way to the body that it wasn't her. But if it wasn't her, then she was still out there somewhere.

He began to dig around the figure in the mud. He pulled the body free and rolled it over. There was long dark hair.

"Oh…" Catherine whispered.

They rolled the body over, only to discover that it was not Sara.

Grissom was relieved. It meant that she might still be alive.

Catherine stated the obvious, "It's not her."

Grissom's face was taut. He was not sure what to feel. Was relief the right emotion, was fear the right emotion? He felt both of those. He was wearing thin. It was heading toward afternoon now. The heat of tears threatened behind his eyes again. He would not cry now. It would not help. He needed to focus. He needed to find Sara.

They had identified the body as that of a hiker.

"Where is she, Catherine? Its 110 degrees. She's been out here all day, without water. She's disoriented, she's…dehydrated."

Catherine interrupted before he went any further, "She's a survivor."

Grissom thought about that for a moment and nodded. Sara was a survivor. She had survived a great deal in her life. Could she survive this too?

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Walking was becoming more and more difficult. Sara stumbled and fell several times.

She willed herself to keep going _one more step, one more step_. She told herself. She had no idea that she was only ha 100 yards from the road. She was that close when she finally could go no further. Her legs gave out and she collapsed in the shade of a small bush. She felt the darkness overtake her as she had one last thought of Grissom.

Nick was scanning the area as Sophia drove. He saw a flash about 100 yards from the road. He called to Sophia to head in that direction. He saw another flash.

Then Nick saw her. Lying in the shade. She was not moving. He grabbed the water he was carrying and ran. He covered the distance to Sara in a few bounds. He fell to his knees next to her.

"Sara! Sara. It's Nick. Can you hear me?"

There was no answer.

"I can't get a pulse."

Sophia radioed that they had found Sara and gave them their location. She also called for medical help. Sara as breathing, but just barely.

Nick began to pour water on Sara. She was overheated and in trouble.

"Don't worry, we're going to get you out of here, okay?"

Nick could hear the chopper a few minutes later.

"They're coming for you now."

Sophia talked to her as well, "You're going to be okay, Sara."

Sara was still nonresponsive.

The paramedics arrived and began working on Sara.

They asked what happened. Nick and Sophia filled her in.

"What's her name?"

"Sara."

"Sara? Sara, can you hear me?"

There was no answer.

In her head Sara could vaguely hear voices. It was like they were at the end of a tunnel. She could not make out words.

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The call came over the radio that Sara had been found. Nick was with her now. They had been picked up by the Search and Rescue chopper and taken back to get Catherine's Denali. He needed to get to Sara. She was all he could think of right now. He knew she was alive, but in serious condition. She was unconscious still.

Grissom was flooded with relief. He suddenly felt old. He has not slept or eaten in twenty-four hours.

Catherine and Grissom arrived at Sara's location just as the medivac chopper arrived.

She looked small and weak lying there on the sand. Her left arm was obviously broken.

Grissom watched helplessly as they worked on her.

_Wake up, Sara. Please, just open your eyes. I need to know you're okay._

She remained unconscious as they moved her on to the backboard and got her IV in place. She needed fluids. They also needed to get her cooled off. Her body temperature was way too high. They would not know what kind of damage had been done until she woke up.

The medic announced it was time to move. They needed to get her to the hospital as soon as possible. Nick and Grissom helped get her to the chopper.

Catherine asked, "Where are you taking her?"

The medic answered, "Desert Palm."

Grissom no longer cared about how things looked. He needed to be with Sara.

"Move over! I'm going with her!"

The medic nodded and let Grissom sit near Sara's feet. The doors slid closed and they took off.

Grissom tried to stay out of the way as the medics worked. There was communication with the hospital about her condition, which did not sound good at the moment. She still hadn't woken up.

Sara was covered in cooling packs and had an IV sticking out of her good arm. He took hold of her hand. He needed to touch her. She felt so hot.

_Sara, please, open your eyes._

Grissom continued to focus on Sara. He was willing her to open her eyes.

Suddenly there was a slight movement. Her eyes opened just a bit.

Sara could feel the darkness subsiding just a bit. She was trying to crawl out of it. She felt the familiar touch. She knew that hand holding hers.

Grissom, he was there with her.

She saw his name on his vest.

It was real, he was there with her. He looked tired. He smiled at her as her eyes began to focus more. The fluids were helping.

She smiled weakly. The mask she was wearing for oxygen prevented her from talking, not that anyone could have heard her at that point. The only thing she could do was to squeeze the hand that was holding hers. Her eyes locked on his and did not leave.

She stared into those blue eyes for the entire six minute trip to Desert Palm.

When they got there the doors slid open and Grissom was told to move so they could get Sara out. It was only then that he let go of her hand. The medical staff had whisked her off before they even got to speak. The doors shut and Grissom was left standing there.

At least she was alive. He would now have to begin the long process of waiting to see what the outcome would be. He had waited at the hospital before. When Brass was shot, when Nick was taken, when Greg had been beaten and blown up in the lab. This was the hard part.

All he wanted to do was to hold her, but he knew she needed treatment. So he would wait. There was nothing else to do. He could no longer stop the tears that rolled down his cheeks.

**A/N: I know another Cliffy. I will be away for the weekend so there will be more next week. I hope to have it up by midweek. Leave a review and I might be inclined to work faster. Thanks for reading. I'll give you a hint...Sara makes it...just incase you didn't know.**


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: This is all mine. Well, not the characters or their names or Las Vegas….you get the idea. This is what we didn't get to see on the show.**

Grissom stood staring at the closed doors for what seemed like an eternity. The nurse came to find him and showed him where to sit.

"Thank you," was all he could manage to say.

He was desperate for information. He knew she was alive, but he did not know the extent of her injuries.

The nurse sensed his apprehension and told him she would find out what she could.

She returned a few minutes later.

"Mr. Grissom?"

His head snapped up, "Yes?"

"The doctor will be out in a few minutes. He's with Sara now."

Grissom nodded and bowed his head. He was praying again. He was thankful they had found her. Now he prayed for her to be alright. He needed to see for himself that she was okay. He needed to talk to her, see her, hold her.

The rest of the team had not arrived yet. He called Catherine to let her know that Sara had regained consciousness, but that was all he knew for the moment. She said they were still an hour away from getting back to Vegas.

It was hard to wait.

The Doctor finally came out to give him an update.

"Mr. Grissom?"

Grissom leaped out of his seat, "Yes?"

"Sara's doing much better. We have her on an IV for fluids. She needs to have her arm set. It's broken in two places. She is awake, but we have her on pain meds. Her arm is going to be quite painful to set. She wants to see you before we take her down to have that done. The break is a bad one and she is going to the orthopedist to have it done. We won't know about any permanent damage from the heat for a while. She appears to be doing well at the moment."

"Thank you. Can I see her now?"

"Follow me."

Grissom followed the doctor through the doors that had separated him from Sara an hour ago. They arrived at a curtained area. He was suddenly scared of what he would find behind there. He was afraid to face what happened to her.

He gently pulled the curtain back and caught sight of her lying there in bed. She looked so pale. Her arm was bandaged. Her face was bloody and scraped. Her hair was a mess. Yet she was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. She was alive. That was all that mattered now. The fear was gone. He walked in and sat in the chair beside her bed. She was asleep. He said nothing to her. He just watched her sleep. He brushed her hair from her face. She was cooler now. They had gotten her temperature down to normal finally. He was afraid to touch her and cause her any more pain.

Sara felt a light brush on her forehead.

She opened her eyes to find blue ones staring back at her.

"Hi," she croaked out hoarsely.

"Shhhhh, no talking. You need to rest."

"I'm fine. I need a drink of water."

Grissom looked around but saw no water.

"I'll ask the nurse if you can have some. "

Grissom went to find the nurse, but Sara was not allowed water because she was going to have anesthesia in a few minutes. She was allowed a few ice chips but that was all.

Grissom came back with a cup of ice and a spoon.

"Sorry, they said no water right now, just ice. You have to go to surgery to have your arm set."

"Oh."

Grissom gave her a spoon of ice and then set the cup down.

"How you feeling?"

"Better now that you're here."

He smiled a sad smile at her. He didn't know where to begin. He had a million things he wanted to tell her, but he could not get them out.

"I'm so sorry, Sara."

The tears began to build in his eyes. He could not stop them no matter how hard he tried.

"Not your fault."

"Yes, it is. Because of me…."

Sara stopped him, "No."

She began to cough.

He offered her more ice chips.

"I'm okay now. My throat's just dry."

"Sara, I love you. I was so worried about you."

"Gil, I'm okay. I love you too."

He put his hand on her forehead. She looked up at him. He lightly brushed his lips over hers. They were split and swollen. Her face was bruised and scraped. He was afraid of hurting her at the moment. She looked so vulnerable. His heart ached. He knew it was his fault she was here.

Sara could hardly move. Every part of her body hurt despite the pain medication they had given her. She wanted Grissom to hold her, but she sensed he was holding back from that. She was beginning to feel groggy also.

She tried to touch his face. She grimaced at the movement. He noticed.

"Sara, don't try to move, honey. What do you need?"

She began to cry now.

"You. I need you."

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

His tears mixed with hers as they held each other.

The nurse came in a few minutes later to take Sara to have her arm set.

"Sara, it's time to go now."

"Okay."

Grissom let go of her and kissed her again.

"I'll be here when you wake up. I promise."

Sara nodded. He looked so tired. She wished he would go get some sleep, but she knew he wouldn't leave her. She didn't ask him to.

"Love you, Gil."

"I love you too. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Okay."

He watched as she was wheeled from the room.

The nurse told him where he could wait. It would take several hours for her to be awake again.

He thanked the nurse and told her to leave word for his friends about his location. She said she would let them know at the desk.

He sat down and prayed again. _Dear God, please let her be okay. I can't do this without her_.

He leaned his head against the wall and fell asleep before he knew it. He had not slept in more than 24 hours now. He was exhausted physically and mentally. Sleep took him before he could stop it.

He was startled awake by someone calling his name.

"Gil."

He snapped his head up.

It was Catherine. Nick was with her.

"Gil, how is she?"

"She's in surgery having her arm set now. It's broken in two places. They have given her fluids, but are not sure if there will be any long term damage."

"Did you get to talk to her?" Nick asked

"Yeah"

"Do you need anything?"

He needed lots of things, but none of them could be delivered by his friends.

He shook his head, "No."

Catherine sat down next to Grissom. They had been friends a long time. She knew he was hurting.

"Nick, could you go get me some coffee please?"

"Sure, you sure you don't want anything, Grissom?"

"Um…coffee maybe. Thanks Nick."

"Be right back."

Nick left. It felt good to be able to do something.

Catherine looked at Grissom, "How are you doing Gil?"

"I'm….um….Cath, I'm hanging on by my fingertips here."

His voice cracked as he fought back the tears again. His resistance was worn down my fatigue.

"I know."

She saw for the first time what was right under her nose. This was a man in love and in anguish.

She had been there before. She took his hand and sat there silently with him. There was no need for words. Her simple act of comfort and support was enough.

Nick came back a while later with coffee and sandwiches.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but it's been a long time since I had anything to eat."

Grissom couldn't remember how long it had been since he had eaten. Yesterday some time maybe. He took the food. He remembered the times he had admonished Sara to eat more because she got too engrossed it her work to stop and eat.

"Thanks Nick."

Greg came in a few minutes later.

"Any news?"

"She's in surgery now to set her arm."

Greg nodded and sat down with the others.

The food helped Grissom. He had not realized how hungry he was.

Brass came with Warrick a few minutes after that. They were given the details. Sophia called Brass and asked if anyone needed anything before she came to the hospital. He told her they were fine.

The waiting room was getting full.

Catherine had told Grissom once that they were making a family. It was times like this that he understood she was right. They were a family. He also realized he needed them right now. He could not do this alone. He was grateful to have the support.

The team waited as the doctors worked on Sara.

A while later a doctor came out to give them an update.

"Mr. Grissom?"

"Grissom stood up.

"Sara's in recovery. The breaks were nasty. We set it and casted her arm. Once the swelling goes down, we will have to change the cast. She's still asleep. We're going to move her to a room and then you can see her."

"Thanks." Grissom shook the doctor's hand.

The team was relieved to hear that Sara was going to be okay. They were not so sure about Grissom at this point. He looked terrible. He needed rest and a shower. They all knew he would not leave until he saw Sara; there was no use in asking him to. They waited with him but said little.

For Grissom the minutes seemed to pass like hours. He watched the clock, but it didn't move. He heard the others talking to him and he responded, but he did not remember what they had asked him or what he had said. Ht was in a daze. The one thing he wanted was to see Sara. He had to know that she was alright.

Finally, after what seemed like a week, the nurse came to get Grissom to take him to Sara. He followed her without speaking. The nurse showed him to Sara's room. There was a soft glow the machines around her bed. One of the monitors beeped reassuringly letting him know that her heart was beating. They had given her a bath and cleaned her other wounds. Her face still bore scratches and bruises from her ordeal. Her hair curled softly around her face. Grissom loved her hair curly. It was unruly and had a mind of its own, just like Sara.

He walked in and sat in the chair that was placed by the side of her bed. The nurse left without speaking to Grissom.

He reached out and held her right hand. The left was covered in plaster. She was receiving oxygen and an IV. He was careful not to move her arm too much.

The tears flowed again.

"Sara, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. Natalie did this to you because of me. Can you ever forgive me?"

He knew there would be no reply, she was still sedated.

Catherine slipped in the room without Grissom hearing her.

"Sara, I love you."

Catherine had never heard Grissom utter those words before.

She didn't interrupt as he continued to talk to Sara.

"Please, honey wake up. I need you to wake up."

There was no reply. Grissom continued to hold her hand.

Softly Catherine said, "Gil?"

He turned to look at her.

"She's still asleep."

"I know."

"God, look at her. This is my fault. She's here because of me. I did this to her."

'No, Gil. Natalie did this to her."

"Natalie saw us that day and figured out our secret. We had kept it for so long and Natalie figured it out in an instant."

"Gil, beating yourself up over this will not help Sara. Think of her right now. Focus on the fact that she is here, alive."

He nodded. She was right.

She walked over and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder.

Grissom stifled the tears that threatened to fall again. He was at his rope's end. He could not handle it any longer. He needed to have Sara back.

"After you see her, you need to go home and take a shower and rest. You're doing her no good running yourself into the ground."

"Not until I talk to her."

"I know."

Grissom turned to Catherine.

"I need her, Catherine. I can't do this without her."

Catherine just nodded. She knew it. Hindsight was a great thing. Looking back, she could mark the change in Sara and Grissom's relationship. They were still professional, but the tension was gone. She remembered what she had said to Sara about Grissom and Lady Heather. She wished she had kept her mouth shut. She felt foolish for saying the things she had said.

"Like I told you before, she's a survivor. She wouldn't have made it out of the desert if that wasn't the case.

Grissom nodded again. He was too tired to argue.

"I'll leave you two alone now. I just wanted to see how she was and if you needed anything."

"Thanks Cath, but I am fine. I just need her to be alright."

"Call if you need anything."

"I will."

Catherine left as quietly as she had come. They were alone again.

Grissom held her hand as she slept. He laid his head down on the bed and was soon asleep. He was exhausted.

Sara woke a few hours later, not sure where she was. Then it hit her…she was at the hospital. She had been rescued. She felt the hand holding hers. He looked down to see a familiar curly head of hair lying on the edge of her bed. She tried to move and groaned from the effort.

Grissom's head shot up.

"Hi. You're awake."

She looked at him. He looked tired. He had not gone home yet. It was going on 48 hours now. He needed to rest.

"Hi. You're still here."

"I promised I would be."

He smiled at her.

He continued, "The doctor said the breaks were bad ones, but they set it and it should mend well."

"Gil, you need to get some rest."

Leave it to Sara to be worried about him right now. He was fine now that he knew she would be alright.

"I'm fine Sara. The rest of the team was here earlier. I sent them home to rest. I suppose they will be back soon."

"What time is it?"

Grissom looked at his watch. It was hard to focus on it.

"It's six-thirty."

"AM or PM?"

Grissom laughed, "PM, why?"

"Gil, you need to rest. You have been up for 48 hours. You look so tired, honey. Please get some rest."

"I will later. I just can't leave you now."

He was afraid to leave her alone right then. He was too afraid that something else would happen to her. In his head, he knew that Natalie was in custody, but his heart was saying to protect her at all costs. He had come so close to losing her. He didn't want that to happen again. He couldn't handle it.

His own emotions shocked him. He seemed to have no control over them at the moment. It was not like him.

The tears burned at the back of his eyes. He couldn't cry right now. He needed to be strong for Sara. She needed him right now.

"Gil, I'm okay here."

He nodded.

"You need to rest."

"I'll wait until someone else gets here and then I'll run home for a few minutes."

He wasn't sure how he would get home. His car was at the Lab and he had arrived at the hospital in the helicopter with Sara. A taxi he supposed was the best way. He didn't tell Sara about his dilemma.

"Sara, I'm so sorry about all of this."

"It's not your fault. Please don't blame yourself."

The truth was that he did blame himself. Natalie had used Sara to get back at him. This was part of the reason he had remained single all those years. Loving someone came with the fear of losing them. He would never be the same again for having loved Sara.

"Gil, I mean it."

He decided to change the subject for now.

"Do you need anything?"

"No."

Sara was beginning to get sleepy again. The pain medication was taking hold. Her eyes began to close on their own. She had to fight to stay awake.

Grissom noticed.

"Rest Sara. I'll wait with you."

She wanted to tell him to go home. If truth be told she was scared to be alone right now too. She felt safe having him there. She felt him take her hand in his larger one as she drifted off to sleep again.

_Sleep, Sara. You need it. I'm not leaving you ever again. I'll be here when you wake up. I'm not going to let anything happen to you._

Grissom laid his head back down on her bed and slept with her.

**A/N: More to come soon. Please leave a review. I will try to post again on the weekend. **


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: Thanks for hanging in there as I studied for my test. I hope to have passed and be done with my Master's Degree soon. As promised here is another chapter. Thanks again for reading. Please leave a review when you are done. I am working on the next chapter right now and it should be up in the next day or two. **

Grissom woke up a few hours after having fallen asleep next to Sara. Thankfully she still slept. She needed the rest. As he came awake the nurse entered to check on Sara. Sleeping in that position has caused his back to become stiff. He stretched and greeted the nurse.

"Good morning. She's still sleeping."

"Good, she needs it.

The nurse began taking her vital signs. All were back within the normal range. Her color was better today. The IV had rehydrated her.

Sara did not stir while the nurse was working.

"I'll be right back. I need to get another IV. She's running low. We have to keep her hydrated."

Grissom nodded as she left.

He turned to watch Sara sleep. Her face was raw from the sand and her arm was casted in a temporary cast. Her arm was swollen and the cast would have to be changed in a day or two when the swelling went down. He was afraid to touch her for the fear of waking her. The guilt washed over him again. It was his fault that she was here, that this happened to her. It weighed heavy on his mind.

The nurse returned a few minutes later with the IV.

"Mr. Grissom, you should go home and rest."

"No, I'm not leaving her."

"You'll do her no good if you get sick too. You need to take care of yourself."

Grissom knew she was right, but his heart would not let him leave Sara.

"I can't leave her."

"Mr. Grissom, she's safe here. Nothing will happen to her."

Sara began to stir, but she wasn't awake. She thrashed as much as her battered body would let her. She was dreaming, or more specifically she was caught in a nightmare.

What she was saying was inaudible but it was clear she was scared.

Grissom tired to wake her.

"Sara…Sara…wake up, honey."

"No…stop it…"

"Sara, wake up."

Grissom gently picked her up as he had done many times in the past two years when she had nightmares.

Sara felt the strong arms go around her and it was comforting. She knew those arms. It was Grissom. The nightmare faded as she woke up.

As her eyes came open she saw the deep blue of his eyes staring into hers.

"Better?" he asked.

She nodded. He knew how to wake her without scaring her.

"Where are we?"

"Honey, you're in the hospital."

She began to remember everything that happened.

"Oh, yeah."

"How do you feel?"

"Sore."

Grissom chuckled a bit and kissed her forehead. The guilt hit him again.

"I'm so sorry."

He began to choke up. The nurse slipped out of the room sensing they needed some time alone.

"Gil, it's not your fault."

He knew better. It was his fault she was here.

"Stop blaming yourself. Natalie did this not you."

"If I hadn't…"

She stopped him with a finger against his lips.

"Stop. I'm here. You found me."

She knew this would eat at him though. This was his greatest fear. Losing the one he loved.

"Sara, I came so close to losing you."

The tears flowed. They sat there and cried for a few minutes and reconnected.

"I'm so sorry, Sara."

"I know you are."

She decided that accepting his apology was the way to get him to stop blaming himself.

She kissed him.

"I love you, Gil."

"I love you, too."

"Have you been home yet?"

She knew the answer before he responded.

"No. I couldn't leave you."

"You need to go home and rest."

Grissom had not showered or shaved in nearly two days now. He knew he must look terrible. He took her hand in his and held it.

"I'll wait until someone else shows up to stay with you. I promise to go for a while as long as someone else is with you."

She knew there was not use in arguing with him. He'd made up his mind.

"Okay, I'm gonna hold you to that."

He smiled and nodded.

She wondered how long it had been since he'd eaten.

He looked so tired and somehow older. There were dark circles under his eyes. He had a two day beard growing.

The doctor came in to check on her.

"Good morning, Sara. I'm Doctor Hamilton. I treated you when you came in yesterday."

"Hi, sorry I don't remember."

The doctor chuckled, "I suppose you don't. You were in pretty bad shape. If you had been out there much longer, I'm not sure what would have happened."

Sara nodded. Grissom really didn't need to hear that. He had played that scenario in his head many times in the past 48 hours. It was close; too close.

"You're blood work looks good. Your enzymes are back to normal. The surgery went well to set your arm. The rest of the injuries are going to heal well. I think you are going to be just fine, Sara.'

She knew she would heal physically; she was not sure about emotionally. She was beginning to remember some of her thoughts out there in the desert. It was a place she had buried long ago. The ghosts of her past had begun to resurface. The nightmare she had was not about the car in the desert. It was about the night her mother killed her father. The time out in the desert had been hard on Sara physically as well as mentally. The ghosts that had haunted her for years were with her that night. They came back in terrifying images as she walked. The voices of years past filled her thoughts.

Grissom asked details about her injuries. He had heard what the doctor had said but he needed to hear him say there would be no damage.

"Dr. Hamilton, has there been any word about the tests you ran on her for permanent damage from her injuries?"

"From everything we have seen she should make a full recovery. The arm will take a while to heal, but other than that she should be fine."

Sara wasn't sure she would ever be fine again, but she would give it some time. She'd buried the ghosts all those years, she could do it again.

Grissom seem relieved. He had been waiting for the other shoe to drop for hours. It seemed it wouldn't at least for now. His tension loosened just a bit. He was still reluctant to leave her. He'd almost lost her once and he didn't want to run the risk of losing her again. He could not bare it if she was gone.

Sara asked about getting out of the hospital, "Doctor, when can I leave? I hate hospitals."

The doctor chuckled. He had heard many patients say that over the years.

"Be patient, Sara. You have been through a rough ordeal. I think we can get you out of here tomorrow as long as your vitals remain strong and you are fully hydrated."

"Thank you, Doctor."

It was not what Sara wanted to hear, but she knew she was for the best.

Grissom was glad to hear she could leave soon. If they were letting her go then she should be alright. He understood her hatred of hospitals. It came from her childhood. He wondered if this had brought back some memories for her. He hoped not. She had enough to deal with right now without that.

He thought of another thing they had to deal with. Everyone knew about them now. It was no longer a secret. He decided not to tell her about that right now. There would be ramifications. They would not be allowed to work together anymore. He would miss that, but at least she was alive. They could deal with the rest later.

The doctor turned to Grissom now.

"Dr. Grissom, you need to go home and get some rest. Sara will need you when she gets out of the hospital. She will require help. You need to be rested for that."

Sara was glad the doctor had said something to him.

"I promised Sara I would wait here until someone else came to sit with her."

'She'll be fine here. She's safe."

The doctor had seen this many times with family members. He understood it.

"I won't leave her alone. As soon as one of our team gets here I promised Sara I would go home for a while."

Sara nodded at the doctor.

"Okay, but I will hold you to that promise too. It will do her no good to have you in the hospital as well."

Grissom nodded in agreement.

"I'll call someone to come soon."

"Thank you. I'll be back to check on you soon, Sara." He started to leave, but turned around, "And Dr. Grissom, I don't want to find you here."

"I understand."

The doctor left then.

"You heard him, Gil, doctor's orders."

"Yes, Dear."

She smiled at that. She loved how he called her Dear.

Grissom smiled in return. It was good to see Sara smile. It was her smile that had first caught his attention 9 years ago. He could feel the tears welling again. He didn't want to cry, but he couldn't help it.

"Gil, what's wrong?"

"I almost lost you. I don't think I could bare that."

"You didn't. I'm here."

He nodded.

"You never told me. What happened with Natalie? I remember bits and pieces."

"What do you remember?"

"I remember waking up in the trunk of a car. There are flashes of a fight in a car, and then I remember waking up under…"

Sara could hardly say it.

"She hit you with a tazer and then put you in the trunk of her car."

Grissom remembered watching the tapes from the parking structure. He also remembered the bile rising in his throat as he did so.

"She then took you out to the desert. It appears that you got out of the zip tie she had you in and you then got out of the trunk. There was evidence of a struggle inside the car. The blood we found belonged to both of you. We're not sure what happened after that."

"I remember trying to get out of the car. It was moving and I jumped out of it."

Grissom thought that would explain the abrasions she had on her arms and face.

"What else do you remember?"

"I remember talking to her. She said that Ernie loved her more than you loved me. Then things get fuzzy again. The next thing I remember is waking up when the car…"

The thought of it made her breathing quicken. She could feel the pressure and then the pain again.

Grissom sensed the change in her.

"Sara, we can stop for now."

"No, I need to talk about it. I remember yelling at her not to do this. Then she left. I was alone."

The scene came back in flashes. She remembered the absolute quiet that fell once Natalie was gone. There was no noise.

"I remember the coyotes. Then the rain."

Grissom held her hand a bit tighter.

"The rain came down so fast. At first it was fine, but then the water began to rise. It was hard to breathe. I remember when the car shifted. I could feel the bones break."

Grissom winced at that.

"I thought I was going to drown right there. I groped around to find something to help me get out. I found the rearview mirror. I tried to move the rocks to get out, but I couldn't. Then the car shifted just enough and I got my arm out. That was when I was able to get out from under the car. There was so much water. I knew I couldn't stay there."

Grissom could not speak. He just nodded. He could only imagine what she went through out there.

"I didn't know if you would know where to find me. So I began to walk. There was so much rain. I could hardly see where I was going. I knew I had to get to higher ground. The water was rushing around me. It was hard to walk."

Grissom just held her hand as she recounted her ordeal. He knew it would help her to process it.

"I walked all night. I don't know what time it was when the rain stopped. I was so cold, but I kept going. Then the sun came up."

Grissom knew what that meant. The heat began.

"It was hot early. For as much as I wanted the rain to stop the night before I would have loved some water."

"I know."

Something occurred to Sara.

"Did you catch Natalie?"

"Yes, we did. She is in custody."

"Did she say anything about…"

"No, she had some kind of mental break. She won't talk."

"Then how did you find me?"

Grissom recounted the events of the search. He began with finding the miniature in his office to the capture of Natalie. He left out the part where the shook her violently. Sara listened to him just as he had listened to her. When he was done she asked a few more questions.

"So I should have stayed with the car."

"No, honey, you didn't know."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that. I remember when we were looking for Nick and how hard that was."

He kissed her gently in response.

"Can you call Nick for me?" she asked of him.

"Sure. I think he would like that. He was pretty worried about you."

"Yeah."

"I'll step out in the hall can call him for you. I'm not allowed to use the cell phone in here."

Sara nodded as he left the room.

Grissom called Nick.

"Stokes"

"Hi, Nick, it's Gil. Sara wants to see you."

"I'll be right there."

"Okay, I'll let her know."

"How is she?"

"She's gonna be just fine…thanks to you. I never thanked you for finding her."

"We all worked on it."

"Nick, I owe you a great debt for finding her in time. The doctor said if it had been much longer she wouldn't have made it."

"Consider it a debt repaid for finding me."

Grissom sighed.

"Griss, you okay?"

"Yeah…no..I'm just tired. I promised Sara I'd go home as soon as someone was here to stay with her."

"I'm on my way. And I will hold you to that promise as well."

"Thanks, Nick…for everything."

"I'll be there in about twenty minutes."

"I'll see you then."

Grissom stepped back in the room. Sara was dozing again. He let her sleep. She needed it.

He sat in the chair next to her and held her hand. He fell asleep shortly after he sat down.

Nick walked in the room and found them sleeping. Grissom still held Sara's hand.

Nick smiled and wondered how they had all missed their relationship over the years. He wondered how long it had been going on. Now was not the time to ask. That would come later. He made a call to Warrick. They needed to arrange to get Grissom home. He had no car at the hospital.

Nick whispered, "Girss…Griss…."

Grissom woke.

"Oh, hi Nick."

"You better keep your promise to Sara."

"I know. Will you tell her I will be back in a bit? I just need a shower and fresh clothes."

"You need sleep also and a good meal."

"I can't be gone that long."

"You need to be strong for her. You can't do that if you don't sleep."

Grissom sighed, he knew Nick was right.

"I don't want to see you back here for at least eight hours."

"Okay, promise to call me if something changes?"

"I promise."

"Warrick is waiting outside to take you home. We knew you didn't have a car here. He'll drive you home and then we'll get your car back to your house for you."

"Thank you."

He remembered a conversation that he and Catherine had a few years back. They had indeed created a family. They took care of each other.

"Get some rest Griss. I won't leave her alone until you come back….eight hours from now."

The tone in Nick's voice made it clear that he meant it.

Grissom looked over at Sara sleeping.

"Tell her where I went and that…I love her."

"I will. Now get some rest."

He nodded and kissed Sara before he left.

"Watch her for me, Nick."

Nick nodded and watched Grissom walk down the hall. He called Warrick to let him know that Grissom was on his way out and to be on the lookout for him.

Then he took the chair next to Sara and waited.

**A/N: Please leave a review. It makes me happy. A happy writer is more likely to keep writing…..**


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: This is more filling in the gaps left out by the show. We will get back to cannon soon. Part of this is based on the conversation Grissom and Sara had in A la Cart about changing shifts. All the dialogue is mine. The characters…I just took them out to play with them. They belong to CBS. **

Grissom walked out of the hospital to find Warrick waiting for him.

"Come on, Griss, I'll take you home."

"Thanks."

"Do you want to stop and get something to eat first? You need to eat."

"Um…I guess I could eat something."

"Okay, you wait in the car and I'll run in and get you something at the diner."

"That would be great."

Warrick headed toward the diner.

Grissom fell asleep not long after the car started moving. Warrick let him sleep as he drove. When he got to the diner he went in and ordered Grissom's usual. When he returned ten minutes later, Grissom was still asleep.

They headed toward Grissom's house. Warrick was aware he had moved a while back, but he had not been to Grissom's new house. He had to wake him up to verify the way.

"Griss…Griss…"

Grissom woke up and for a moment was not sure of where he was.

"Hey, Griss, I need the directions to your new place. I kinda know where it is but I need to know the exact way."

"Oh, sorry. I fell asleep."

"It's fine. Here's your breakfast."

Warrick handed him the container.

Grissom opened it.

"Do you mind if I eat? I didn't realize how hungry I was."

"Go ahead. You need to eat."

"Thanks, and hang a left at the next street."

Warrick followed the directions Grissom gave as he ate his breakfast.

Soon they pulled up outside a set of townhouses. They were very upscale.

"Nice new digs."

"Thanks, Sara picked it out. She had a great time decorating it. We wanted a place that was ours not hers or mine."

Warrick had just confirmed that Grissom and Sara were living together; a fact not known until now.

"Do you need some help getting inside or are you going to be okay?"

"I think I can make it on my own."

Grissom then saw his car sitting in the parking lot.

"How did you guys get my car back here?"

"We have our ways."

Grissom smiled.

"We found your keys in your desk and Greg drove it back here last night. We knew you'd need it."

Warrick handed Grissom his keys.

"Oh, thanks. I'm gonna need these to get in."

"Yeah. Now don't show your face at the hospital for eight hours or you will have me and Nick to deal with."

Grissom again smiled. He did have good friends.

"Okay. I promise. I'll see you later, and thanks again for the ride."

"Any time."

Grissom opened the car door and headed toward the door of the building. Warrick watched as he headed into the building. He wanted to make sure Grissom kept his word to rest.

Grissom turned around when he reached the door and waved to Warrick. He walked in and headed to his door.

He unlocked the door and went it in. It was quiet. There was no noise. Hank was at the sitters. He had called the sitter and explained what happened. She said not to worry about Hank. She'd keep him as long as she needed to.

On the couch he saw the blanket Sara wrapped up in when she watched TV. He picked it up and took it with him. He walked down the stairs and toward the kitchen. In the sink was her favorite coffee cup. He then walked into the bedroom. On the bed he found her pajamas. He sat down. The emotions and the exhaustion caught up with him. He laid down and fell asleep wrapped in Sara's blanket.

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Nick sat with Sara as she slept. Several hours later she woke up.

"Gil?"

"No, Sara, it's Nick. Grissom went home to get some sleep. We had to make him, but he went.'

"Good, he needed it."

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay I guess. My arm hurts. All of me hurts really, but at least I'm here."

"Yes, you are."

"Nick thanks for finding me. Grissom told me about it."

"Consider it a debt paid for finding me."

She nodded.

"How long has Gil been gone?"

It was strange to hear Sara call him Gil.

"About two hours. We told him not to show up for eight hours. Warrick took him to get something to eat and then took him home. His car was still at the lab. Greg drove it home last night."

"Thanks for looking out for him."

Nick had about a thousand questions he wanted to ask her, but now was not the time.

"If you ever need to talk about what happened, I'm here."

"I know, and thank you."

She was glad Grissom had gone home to rest, but she wanted him back beside her. She was afraid without him there.

Nick sensed her uneasiness.

"Sara, he'll be back in six hours. Get some rest. I'll be here with you."

"Thanks Nick."

She went back to sleep. The pain medication they gave her made it hard to stay awake. She was thankful that it also took away the nightmares.

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Grissom woke six hours after he had fallen asleep still in his clothes. It was mid afternoon now. His muscles ached. He sat up. _A shower, I need a shower._ He undressed and headed for the shower. The hot water felt good on his aching muscles. He let it run over him for a long while.

His thoughts wandered again to the idea of losing Sara. The tears came in ragged sobs as the water ran over him. Sara had absolved him of guilt, but he still blamed himself for what happened to her. It was his fault. He was just glad Sara was going to make it.

He had just finished shaving as his cell phone rang.

"Grissom."

Sara was on the other end.

"Hi, you kept your word."

He smiled though she couldn't see it, "A promise is a promise. I got six hours sleep and I just had a shower. I'll even shave for you."

She smiled, "Thanks."

"You doing okay?"

He was a bit worried she had called.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just….needed to hear your voice."

"Is Nick still there?"

"Yeah, he hasn't let me out of his sight. He made sure I ate the lunch they brought me. Thanks for telling them I am a vegetarian."

"It's the least I could do."

"Are you coming back soon?"

"I'm going get dressed and grab something to eat then I'll be there. By then my eight hour rule should be up. Nick said he and Warrick would take care of me if I didn't stay away for eight hours."

"I think you're fine."

They both laughed.

"Do you want me to bring you anything?"

"No. I'll be fine…oh wait. Will you bring me some clothes to wear home tomorrow?"

"What would you like?"

Something that will fit over this cast and some pants and shoes and….."

"I got the rest."

"Thanks. Nick was getting uncomfortable with where that was headed."

He knew she was feeling better because she was making jokes. It was a good sign.

"Okay then I will pack a bag for you. I will be there in about forty five minutes."

"I can't wait."

"I love you, Sara."

"I love you, too."

Nick was a bit uncomfortable to hear them like that. He was just getting used to them dating and now he was hearing this.

Sara turned to Nick, "Gill's on his way back there."

Nick checked his watch. "He has forty five minutes before he's allowed back."

Sara laughed.

"He said that and promised not to be here before that."

"Good, I wouldn't want to have to kick his ass."

Sara laughed again.

Nick was happy to make her laugh.

"Seriously, do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine. Gil is bringing me clothes for tomorrow."

It still seemed strange to hear her call him Gil. He thought it would seem even weirder to know that they were lovers and she called him Grissom. He really wasn't sure what upset him more. It was not the time to ask questions. That would come later.

"I'll stay until he gets there, then I'll go. I have to work tonight."

"Oh, you shouldn't have stayed then. You need to sleep."

"I'll be fine. They can't spare anyone tonight. Besides, I promised Grissom I would not leave you alone."

Sara felt guilty about that.

"Grissom took three days off."

"Oh."

"Yeah, he wanted to be there for you."

She felt bad that they would be down two people tonight.

"Ecklie called in someone from swing to fill in for a few days. "

"Okay. I'm sorry about this Nick. I hate to leave you shorthanded."

"Sara, it's not your fault."

She still felt bad.

They talked for a while longer when Grissom came in the room.

"Hey there."

Sara's face lit up when he came in, "Hi."

Nick checked his watch, 'Eight hours on the button."

"I know I had to wait in the hall for ten minutes."

They all laughed.

"Thanks, Nick for staying with Sara. I appreciate it."

"My pleasure, man. You know that."

"You better go get some rest before shift tonight. You have enough time to get some sleep."

"I'm headed out now. Call if you need anything."

"Thanks, Nick, we will."

"Bye guys."

"Bye, Nick."

Nick left them alone.

Grissom walked over and kissed Sara.

"Are you feeling better?"

"I am. I hope I get to go home in the morning. I am ready to get out of here."

"I know. Sara, there's something I need to tell you."

"What?"

She was suddenly nervous.

"There is something you need to know."

"What?"

"The team knows about us. I…."

He saw the look on her face which was somewhere between shock and horror. She knew what that meant. They could no longer work together. The secret they had kept for two years was out.

"Sara, it's going to be fine, really."

"How?"

"I told them."

"Why?"

"When I found the miniature in my office I took it to the layout room and the team was gathered to look at it. The moment I realized that it was you under that car it stopped thinking rationally. I thought like your lover not your boss. I was worried and scared to death. Catherine said this felt different and that's when it hit me. I knew it was my fault Natalie had taken you. She did it to get back at me for Ernie killing himself. She blamed me for that and she was going to kill the one person I love more than anyone…you."

Sara then realized how agonizing it must have been for Grissom when she was missing. He would have not betrayed their secret otherwise.

"Gil, you know what this means. Ecklie will never let us work together."

"I know. We'll work it out, honey."

He kissed her to reassure her.

"How are we going to work it out?"

"I'll change shifts. I'll go to swing. At least that way we can have the mornings together."

She could not answer at the moment. It was all taking a while to register. She did not want to face the questions and the looks at the lab. She looked at Grissom. He didn't seem concerned in the least at the moment.

"How can you be so calm about this?"

"The only thing I was ever worried about was losing you. Compared to that, this is easy. We'll make it work. I promise."

"That's gonna be a hard promise to keep."

"I love you, Sara. We can survive anything as long as we stay together."

She desperately wanted to believe him.

He sensed her fear and leaned in placing his forehead against hers.

"We'll make it, Sara."

"I love you." She whispered back.

"I love you too."

There was a knock at the door.

"May I come in?" Catherine called out.

Sara answered, "Hi, come on in."

She came in and looked at the two of them. It was so obvious now that she knew. Why had she not seen it before? Catherine was happy for the two of them. They both deserved happiness. She decided not to push for answers right now. There would be time for that later.

"How are you feeling, Sara?"

"I've been better. I get to go home in the morning."

"That's great."

"Catherine thanks for everything you did. I really appreciate it."

"We're family. We take care of each other."

They smiled at each other. Over the years they had had their fights. They had also been there for each other when the chips were down. Sara knew Catherine was more Gil's friend than hers. She was glad he had friends there to help him through the past few days.

"I just came to check on you before I headed into the lab. I'm on tonight."

"Nick left a while ago. He said he has to work tonight too." Grissom offered.

"Yeah. Glad you went home and changed and showered. You were getting a bit ripe there."

Grissom shrugged in agreement.

"Nick made me."

"Good for him."

"Sara, is there anything you need?"

"No, Gil brought me everything, but thanks."

Catherine had never heard Sara use his first name.

"I can't stay long. I have to get into work. We have to continue processing the evidence in…."

Catherine had almost said Sara's case, but she stopped.

"Catherine, it's okay. I know you have to process the evidence. I appreciate all your hard work. I want her behind bars where she can't hurt anyone else. Do what you have to do."

"We will. We'll make the case airtight. She won't get off. Gil, keep us posted please."

"I will. I'm going to stay here tonight with Sara."

He took her hand. It was strange to have him do that in front of others. He'd never done that before. She looked down at their fingers as they intertwined. She knew at that moment he meant to keep his promise. It was such a small act, but it meant so much to her. They would be together forever.

"Well, goodnight you two. I'll see you later."

Grissom thanked her for coming and told her to keep him posted on the progress of the case.

"I will. Bye."

"Bye."

Catherine left and they were alone again.

"Gil, are you sure about changing shifts. I…I can do it."

"No, you need your friends. I'll do it."

He picked up her had he'd been holding and kissed it.

"I'll do anything for you." He whispered.

"I know. What I need the most is you."

"Now get some rest. You get to leave here tomorrow. I'll stay here with you tonight."

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

She nodded. She was glad to have him near.

He kissed her, "Goodnight, Sara. I love you."

"Goodnight."

He watched over her as she slept. In the morning he would take her home. From there they would figure out what was going to happen. For now it was enough to know that she was alive and would make a full recovery.

He pulled the chair up close to her and fell asleep a few hours after Sara did.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Please leave a review. I know it was a long time between updates, but I promise to be quicker about it now. I will be even quicker if you leave me a review so I know you are interested still.**


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: Thanks for still reading and thanks to Karen for the beta reading. I love you. I'm sorry it took so long to get this out. I have been swamped and I wanted to make this good. I have written and rewritten it a few times. I hope you like it. We are almost up to the big meeting between Sara and Ecklie. Please leave a review when you are done and let me know if you liked it. **

The night passed uneventfully, but Grissom did not sleep well. He kept waiting for Sara to wake up. He remembered the nightmare she had the day previous. The medication seemed to help her sleep. He hoped the nightmares would go away, but he understood the nature of traumatic situations and he knew there would be more to come. For now he was grateful that she was sleeping.

Sara woke about five in the morning. Grissom was asleep in the chair next to her bed. She was glad he had stayed the night with her. If truth be told she was afraid to stay alone right now. She didn't wake him. He looked better than he had the day before. The sleep and the shower had done him good.

Sara shifted in bed which caused pain followed by a grunt. Grissom was awake instantly.

"Sara, honey, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just forgot how much moving hurts."

She winced as he helped her adjust in bed.

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

"Gil, what are we going to do?"

"Well, first of all we are going to get you out of here today. Then we will get you home. I have taken a few days off work until you are a bit stronger. You have at least six weeks off for recovery. Then we can think about it."

"I see you have been thinking about this."

"All I can focus on is getting you better. We'll deal with the rest later. You're the most important thing right now."

"Has Ecklie said anything yet?"

"No. I haven't seen him yet."

"Catherine's been keeping him updated."

"What time is it?"

"It's early. You still have a couple of hours before the doctor will be here to release you."

"Am I that obvious?"

He didn't respond, but raised his eyebrow at her.

She feigned a hurt look and changed the subject.

"How's Hank?"

"He's at the sitter's still. She said she would keep him until we were ready to go get him."

"I hope he forgives us."

"I'm sure he will."

The nurse came in to check on Sara.

"Good morning, Sara. How are you feeling today?"

"Much better thanks."

"I have good news for you. The Doctor said if your vitals are good we can take out your IV this morning."

"Finally."

The nurse checked her over.

"Well, let's get that IV out. You are doing very well. All of your vital signs are good."

The nurse took her IV out.

"Thanks, it feels a lot better to have that out."

"You can go for a short walk around the halls if you want to as long as someone goes with you."

"I'd like that. Gil, will you go with me?"

"Yes, my dear."

She smiled at him as he helped her out of bed.

Her legs were stiff and sore. She did not realize how stiff she would be. Grissom never left her side. He held on to her waist as they walked down the hall and back to her room. By the end of the walk she was feeling a lot better. Her muscles worked out some of that stiffness they had.

"That felt good."

Grissom nodded, "You didn't get too tired did you?"

"No, I needed to do that. I have been in bed too long. I'm not used to that."

"I know. I just don't want you to overdo it."

"I won't…I can't."

That worried him a bit.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Please don't worry and don't hover. I don't need that." She said sharply.

She did not mean to be cross with him, but she was on edge.

He backed off, not knowing what to say to her. He had only meant to be helpful.

She noticed the hurt look on his face and sighed.

"Gil, I'm sorry."

"It's not a problem. I understand." He lied.

"I don't mean to snap at you. I'm just on edge. I'll be better when I get home. I just hate hospitals."

She really hoped it was the truth. She wanted to be normal and back to her old self. She wanted to feel safe again.

She wanted to know that nothing would ever hurt her again.

She reached out and cupped Grissom's cheek.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I just need to get back to things being normal."

Grissom wanted to believe her. He wanted things to return to normal as well. He and Sara had taken so long to finally find each other. He wanted that back to normal.

The homecoming was worrisome for Grissom. He wanted to make sure she would be fine. He needed her to be well. He hoped the nightmares would get better as well. It had been a long time since she had had one before Natalie had taken her. He knew about Sara's past. He also knew there were issues she still had to deal with. There were parts of her past she kept locked away.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but are you sure you are ready to come home? I want you to come home, I really do. But when you come home I want you to be ready."

She understood his trepidations. She even shared them, but she had to get out of this place.

"I'm ready. I'll be able to relax more at home and sleep better."

He nodded.

The Nurse came back with her breakfast and she ate in silence for a few minutes. It was not very exciting. Her breakfast consisted of Cream of Wheat and milk. There was also Jell-O.

She quipped, "What is it with Hospitals and Jell-O? I mean do they have stock in the company. They're always serving Jell-O. The only thing that changes is the color and flavor."

Grissom laughed.

Sara thought it was good to see him laugh. He'd looked so worried since she had woken up. He always looked younger when he laughed. It was a sound that warmed her heart and for a moment she really believed that it would all be okay.

"I have often wondered the same thing. When my mother was in the hospital there was an endless rainbow of Jell-O."

She smiled at him. She knew he was remembering when his mother was in the hospital near the end of her life. He had gone to see her many times at the end. He had told her about it later. She didn't know at the time it was happening. It was during the dark times between them. Sara wished she could have been there for him, but that was water under the bridge now.

"I love to hear you laugh."

"Well, then let's laugh more. I think we both could use it."

The doctor came in while Sara was finishing her breakfast.

"Good morning, Sara, Gil, how are you feeling today?"

"Better," answered Sara.

"And what about you, Gil?"

"Better also," he answered truthfully.

The doctor continued.

"I've reviewed your readings and I think we can get you out of here tomorrow morning."

Sara was crestfallen. She'd wanted to get out of here today.

"I want you to have one day on solid foods before we send you home, just to see how you are doing. You can get up and walk around and we have to get that cast changed. It's already too loose, which is a good sign. I just want to make sure everything is working well before we discharge you."

Grissom knew that would be a hard blow. She was counting on getting out today.

"Don't worry, honey. I'll stay with you."

"Thanks, but I really wanted to get out of here today."

The doctor continued, "I know you did Sara, but we need to make sure everything is working fine before we let you go."

She knew it was for the best, but it didn't make the disappointment any less.

"I'll be back to check on you later."

Sara nodded and the doctor left.

Sara tried not to cry, but the tears welled in her eyes despite her willing them away.

"Sara, honey, the doctor just wants to make sure you're well. I know you're disappointed."

"I hate this place. It brings back too many bad memories."

Grissom sat on the bed next to her and pulled her as close as her injuries would allow. Sara welcomed the comfort.

"I love you, Sara."

It was not something she doubted. She was long over doubting whether Grissom loved her. She doubted her ability to hold things together. She knew at the moment she was holing on by a thread. She needed to get home and back to some sense of a normal life.

"You promise to say with me?"

"Always."

She smiled despite her bad news. Grissom had made her feel better. At least he would be with her if she had to stay one more day.

She decided to lighten the mood, "Well I wonder what color the Jell-O will be for lunch?"

Grissom laughed again.

"We shall see."

He kissed the top of her head.

"Move over a bit."

"Why?"

"Well since you are IV free I thought I would lay down with you. I think we could both use it."

Sara moved over allowing Grissom to lie down. He laid on his back and she snuggled against him. It was not their bed, but it felt better to have him with her.

"Better?" he asked her.

"Yes, much better. I needed this. I needed you."

"Now rest."

She did as she was ordered. With him holding her she fell asleep within a few minutes.

"Sleep Sara," he whispered as he fell asleep too.

CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI

Grissom and Sara managed to sleep for two hours before the nurse came in again to take her vital signs again.

"Sara, I need to take your vital signs again."

Sleepily Sara responded, "Okay."

"Did you sleep well?" the nurse asked as she worked.

"Yes. The best I have in days."

"Good, then I won't chase Dr. Grissom out."

"I hope not," Grissom said.

"Sorry didn't mean to wake you, but I needed to take Sara's vitals, which by the way look really good. We have had calls about visitors for you. I told them that visiting hours start at noon."

"What time is it now?"

The nurse checked her watch, "Ten fifteen."

"Thanks."

"If you want to take a shower we can let you. I'll help if you want."

"I'll help her," Grissom chimed in.

"Can he help me?"

"I don't see why not. I will get you a towel and a clean gown."

"Oh, Gil brought me some pajamas from home, would it be alright if I wore those?"

"Sure."

Sara felt better already.

"Let me get you a towel and some shampoo and soap and I will be right back."

She left.

Grissom got up and helped Sara sit up on the edge of the bed.

"You sure you're up to a shower?"

"I think it will feel really good."

He nodded.

The nurse returned and gave the items to Grissom.

"The shower is in the bathroom. I will be back in about twenty minutes so no fooling around in there."

They all laughed.

"I'm not sure I'm up for that just yet."

"Dr. Grissom, make sure she doesn't fall and make sure she doesn't get her cast wet. Here's a plastic bag to cover it with."

She handed Grissom a large plastic bag and instructed him on how to wrap her arm so the cast didn't get wet.

"I'll leave you alone now."

Grissom helped Sara into the bathroom and helped her undress.

It was only then he saw the extent of the bruising on her body. He tried not to react to it but he failed.

"Oh, Sara…"

She tried to cover herself.

"Don't hide from me honey. I just hadn't seen all the bruises before."

"Me either. How….how bad do they look."

He wanted to lie to her and say not that bad, but thought honesty was the best way to go.

"There are large bruises on your back and legs. They will heal honey."

The tears welled in her eyes again. Grissom's face said how bad they really were.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried. She was tired of crying, but couldn't seem to stop.

He just let her cry until she was done.

"Ready for that shower now?"

She nodded and was surprised when Grissom undressed and got in with her.

"What…what are you doing?"

"I want to take a shower with you. It will be easier to help you if I'm in there with you."

She nodded and welcomed his support.

"Here lean against me so you don't get too tired."

He pulled her against his chest. He felt so good. Sara had always loved the feel of his chest.

The water felt good on her body. Grissom carefully washed her as she let the warm water cascade over her. Then he washed her hair. It felt good to be clean again. He helped her out of the shower, dried her carefully, and helped her into her own pajamas. He then got dressed back into his clothes.

"Feel better now?"

"Yes and thank you."

"Anytime. You know I love to take a shower with you." He winked at her and smiled.

She smiled back. Being in her own clothes did feel better and the shower helped as well. She was tired now though.

"I think I need to get back in bed. That wore me out."

"Come on, I'll help you."

The nurse came in just as Sara was getting back in bed.

She noted Grissom's wet hair but said nothing.

"Hope that shower felt good, Sara."

"Yes, it did. But now I need another nap."

"Rest until lunch. I'll wake you when it gets here. Dr. Grissom I have arranged for a tray for you as well. That way you can stay with Sara."

They were both touched by her thoughtfulness.

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

"It's not a problem. It won't be the best meal in the world, but at least you can eat with her. Get some rest. Lunch will be in about an hour or so."

"Thanks."

The nurse left again taking the wet towels and Sara's dirty gown with her.

"Gil, will you rest with me again. I sleep better when you're holding me."

"It would be my pleasure, Dear."

Sara smiled at the name. He had called her that for years now, but she still loved it.

He helped her get adjusted in bed and then joined her. He made sure she was comfortable and her arm was not bothering her and then they both drifted off to sleep.


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: Thanks for reading and sorry it has been so long since I updated this. I have been working on it. Please leave a review. It makes me happy. Thanks to Karen for the Beta reading. You rock.**

The attendant brought lunch in for Grissom and Sara. She woke them and told them it was there.

"Thanks," Grissom groggily replied. He had not realized that he was tired enough to sleep that hard.

He gently woke Sara.

"Honey, your lunch is here. Do you want to eat now?"

She gave a yawn and nodded her head.

"I'll be back in a while for your trays." With that the attendant left them alone.

Grissom thanked her as she left.

Sara quipped, "Let's see what color the Jell-o is today."

Grissom laughed and peeked under the lid of her lunch.

"MMMMM… orange."

Sara asked him what he got for lunch.

He looked. It was a chicken sandwich.

A knock at the door interrupted their lunch. It was Brass.

"Well, I finally catch the two of you in bed together."

They all laughed.

Grissom got out of the bed and sat in the chair. It gave Sara more room to eat.

"How are you Jim?" Sara asked.

"A better question is how are you?"

"On the mend. I may get to leave tomorrow."

"Good. You gave us quite a scare. Don't ever do that again."

"Well, I'll try."

It felt good to smile.

Grissom loved Sara's smile and was glad to see it now.

Brass turned to Grissom, "When are you coming back to work?"

"I've taken a few days off. Sara is going to need me at home when she gets there."

"You know you can call any of us right?"

Sara spooned a mouthful of Jell-o and nodded.

"I appreciate that, Jim….Has Ecklie said anything?"

Brass assured her, "Don't worry about him. You just get better. We'll take care of Conrad until you're better."

Sara could only assume that the answer was yes. She was sure that her friends had all been called in and asked about what they knew.

The only person who might remotely have known something was Brass, and he was not under the control of Ecklie. The others could answer they knew nothing about Grissom and Sara.

Grissom knew they could not avoid Ecklie forever. Eventually they would have to talk to him and they would have to face the ramifications of their relationship. Grissom didn't care. He had Sara back and he would do whatever he had to do to be with her. It didn't matter anymore if the whole world knew about them. All he wanted was to have Sara well.

Sara also knew they would have to face Ecklie. She thought he would get some perverse pleasure out of delving into their personal life. It made her angry to think she would have to explain her personal life to him. She never understood that rule about them dating. Hadn't they proved for the last two years that two people in love could work side by side and remain professional? Why did it matter? But the rules were the rules and Ecklie was nothing if not a stickler for the rules.

Brass asked, "When do you get to fly the coop?"

"Probably tomorrow morning. I can't wait. I hate hospitals."

Brass was not aware of Sara's past history with hospitals. The only person she had ever told was Grissom.

"Yeah, I hate them too. Bad food, they wake you up to give you something to make you sleep, and there is never any privacy."

Sara smiled.

"Jim, thanks for finding me. I know you had a bit part in that."

He shrugged it off, "It was a team effort."

"Well thanks just the same."

"You got it." He winked at her. "Let's not do it again anytime soon, okay?"

"Deal."

Grissom watched the two of them chat while he ate his lunch. He was glad they had friends like Jim and the rest of the team. He knew it would take all of their support to get through what was coming at work. They would no longer be working together. Grissom decided to put in for Swing shift. Sara needed to be with her friends. He could manage working alone. He would miss the rest of them, but he would miss working with Sara most of all.

Sara finished her lunch as she and Jim talked.

She yawned, "I'm sorry. I get tired so easily still. I think it's the meds they have me on."

"Rest, I have to get going anyway. Gil, can I talk to you out in the hall for a moment?"

"Sure."

Grissom was curious. What did Brass have to say that he couldn't or wouldn't say in front of Sara?

"I'll come by and see you at home, Sara. Get some rest and get better."

"Thanks for coming Jim. I do appreciate it."

"Call me if you need anything."

"I will."

"Bye."

"Bye."

"I'll be right back. I bet he just wants to talk about the case and doesn't want to upset you."

Grissom hoped that's all it was.

Out in the hallway Jim filled him in.

"Natalie is in custody. She has had some kind of mental break. They are holding her pending a psych evaluation. Ecklie knows about the two of you and has been questioning everyone. How did you two manage to keep it from the team for as long as you did?"

Grissom shrugged his shoulders as Brass continued.

"He wants to talk to both of you separately. I don't know what pissed him off more, the fact that you two were involved or that he didn't know about it."

Grissom knew the conversation would not be a pleasant one when it happened. Eclkie had always wanted to have something over Grissom and now he did.

"Thanks for the warning."

"Now go take care of Sara."

He nodded and went back in the room.

"What did Jim want?"

"He was filling me in on the progress of the case."

It wasn't a lie. It just wasn't the whole truth.

"What's happening?"

"Natalie's in custody and has had some sort of mental break. Jim just didn't want to upset you with the details."

Again, it wasn't a lie.

"Oh."

Sara yawned again.

"Sleep, Sara. You need it. I'm not going anywhere. I brought a book to read. I'll be here when you wake up. I promise."

"I am tired. I'll just rest for a few minutes."

She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Grissom picked up his book and began reading. He brought the book of poems Sara had given him. He read all the ones she had marked.

Her few minutes of sleep turned into three hours.

She felt better after sleeping. As promised Grissom was there waiting for her.

"Have a good nap?"

"How long did I sleep?"

"Three hours."

"Oh wow."

Just then the orderly came in to take Sara to get her new cast.

"Ms. Sidle, I'm Jeff and I'm here to take you to the cast room."

"Oh, okay."

"I'll wait here for you Sara."

He watched her leave. It took about an hour for her to come back with a new cast. He took advantage of the time and went to the cafeteria to get some coffee. He was not used to being up in the daytime.

"Hey there." He greeted her when she came back.

"Hi."

"Did it hurt much changing the cast?"

"A little, but I managed."

The nurse came in with her pain medicine as if on cue.

"Hi, Sara I have your pain medicine. I figured you could use it after getting the new cast."

"Thanks, it is hurting right now."

Grissom pulled his chair up to the bed once she was situated.

"Greg called while you were gone. He wanted to know if he could come by and see you."

"Maybe later. I'm tired."

"I told him to come around dinner time. I figured you'd be tired and need a rest."

The pain medication was making Sara sleepy. She found it hard to stay awake.

"Sara, you rest now. We'll talk when you wake up."

She nodded as she let the medication work.

Sleep was something Sara needed to get well, but it also brought the nightmares. She found herself in the middle of one. This one was about her father being killed again. She could hear the fight and the yelling and her mother screaming. It was hard to wake up.

She heard a distant familiar voice calling her name.

"Sara, wake up. It's okay. I'm here."

The voice was familiar but didn't belong in the scene she was witnessing. She wondered where the voice was coming from.

There it was again calling her name.

"Sara, honey, wake up."

The voice got louder as the dream faded. It was Gil.

"Wake up, Sara."

She finally woke up trying to catch her breath.

"Bad…dream…sorry."

"Tell me."

"Watched my…dad…mom…"

Grissom pulled her close.

"Shhhhh. I'm here. You're ok."

"Yeah. I'm okay." She said it to reassure herself as well as Grissom. She held on tightly until her breathing returned to normal.

"It's been a while since you had that dream."

"Yeah."

"This one was different. My mother was different. She was protecting me."

"Are you ready to talk to her yet?"

"No. I can't….not yet."

"Okay."

He knew that pushing her was not the answer. She would have to come to the conclusion that it was the right time. For now all he could do was be there for her.

"That better?" He asked her.

She nodded.

"Good."

The nurse came in to see if Sara needed anything and to check her vitals.

"Looking good, Sara. I think you may get to go home tomorrow."

"I can't wait."

"I understand. I hate being in the hospital too."

The nurse left as Greg and Warrick arrived to see her.

"Look who I dragged with me."

Sara smiled, "Hi guys."

"Hey, Sara." They both greeted her.

"How are you feeling?" Warrick asked.

"I've been better."

"Yeah, I can imagine you have."

"Naw, I think she is just trying to get out of work." Greg teased.

They all laughed.

"Greg, Warrick, would you mind staying with Sara for a while. I need to run an errand."

"Sure, no problem. We don't have to be to work for a few hours yet."

"Thanks, I won't be long."

"Gil?"

"Don't worry. I just have an errand to run and I need to get a change of clothes. I will be back after dinner. I don't think I can take any more Jell-o."

"Very funny."

"Can I bring you back something?"

"All I want to do is get out of here."

"I know, tomorrow. You heard the doctor."

They could feel Greg and Warrick watching them. They also knew what they were thinking. They were wondering about them as a couple. It was uncomfortable. They were not used to the scrutiny. It was a bit unnerving.

"Okay. I'll see you in a while."

"Bye."

He left without kissing her. She understood.

Grissom used the time to head home and change and get another change of clothes for Sara. He also arranged for another three days off work. She would need him at home for a while. And if truth be told, he didn't want to face Ecklie.

He also checked on Hank and arranged for another day at the sitters.

An hour and a half later he was back in Sara's room. Greg and Warrick had waited with her while she ate.

"Sorry that took longer than I thought it would."

Sara was relieved to see Grissom.

Greg and Warrick said their goodbyes and left. They both had to work tonight and had to get ready.

Grissom thanked them for coming as did Sara.

Suddenly they were alone in the room again. It was more comfortable that way. They were not used to others knowing about them. They did not know how to act. Both of them had known eventually everyone would know, but they had never thought about the fallout of that happening. It was a new phase in their relationship. Suddenly they felt as though they were in a fishbowl.

"I missed you."

He leaned in and kissed her.

"I missed you too."

"What's in the bag?"

"I got you fresh clothes for tomorrow."

"Thanks. I appreciate that."

"I also checked on Hank and arranged for him to come home the day after tomorrow. I thought you could use a bit of adjustment time at home before we brought him home too."

"He probably thinks we abandoned him."

"Are you kidding? He is being spoiled rotten. He probably won't be fit to live with."

Sara laughed.

"Did you get some dinner while you were out?"

"Yes. I grabbed a sandwich from the Deli and ate it while I was home."

"I see you changed clothes too."

"Yeah two days in the same clothes was not something I was looking forward to."

"You can go home. You don't have to stay here."

"I want to stay here."

She smiled at him. She was relieved that he was staying. She feared waking up alone right now.

"Oh, I also arranged for some more time off from the lab. I don't have to be back for four days."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to."

"I don't want to be treated differently now. I hated that when I was a kid because of what happened with my family. You know that. I was the kids who's father was stabbed to death. They all looked at me like I was some freak. They are going to look at me that way again because of this."

"Sara, you were the victim them just as you are now. You are not a freak."

She looked at him with sad eyes. Natalie had taken Sara's peace of mind as well as kidnapped her.

"We'll get through this, Sara…together."

Sara nodded but said nothing. She did not share Grissom's confidence in her ability to cope with this. She hated being the center of attention. She did not crave that at all. She much preferred to go quietly about her life. That was not going to be possible. Now she would be the CSI that was kidnapped by a serial killer. It was her childhood all over again.

"Sara, I know we can't be on the same shift anymore, so I've decided to apply for the open swing position."

That was her other fear. They would no longer be working together.

She could not think about that right now. It would send her over the edge.

"Gil, there has to be some way we…'

"I don't think there is, dear."

She felt the tears begin and Grissom wrap his arms around her.

Her life as she knew it had come to an end. It was all different and she didn't know how to cope with it.

"Damn Natalie."

Grissom just held her as she cried. He knew where the tears were coming from and that she needed to shed them.

"We'll get through this Sara."

"How can you say that?"

"Because I love you."

That was the one thing that had not changed and Sara swore to hold onto that. At least Grissom still loved her.

He pulled the reclining chair up next to her bed and sat with her until she fell asleep.


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N: There are some "borrowed" lines from A La Cart in this one. **

**Thanks to Karen for the Beta. Because of her you have a lot better versions to read. **

**Please leave a review when you are done.**

The night passed quietly. The nurse had come in once to check on Sara. Grissom slept in the chair next to her.

It was still early when he woke. Sara continued to sleep. He slipped out to use the bathroom and Sara was just waking as he returned.

"I thought you'd left."

"Never, Sara."

She smiled at him, "Good morning."

"Good morning."

He kissed her.

"I really hope the doctor lets me go today. I'm ready to sleep in my own bed."

"And not eat any more Jell-o?"

Sara laughed, "Exactly! I'm really beginning to hate the stuff."

"I promise when we get home, no Jell-o."

"Thanks."

"Pudding instead." He deadpanned.

"Ha, you think so do you?"

Seeing her smile was the best sight Grissom had seen in days. It would be even better to see her at home with him.

"I'll even let you choose the flavor."

"Oh, you're so kind."

The doctor came in just then.

"Good morning, Sara."

"I hope you have good news for me today."

"If you mean can you go home, then yes, I have good news."

Relief washed over Sara.

"Thank you. I don't know if I could take another day in here."

"Oh, come on, the Jell-o's not that bad."

Grissom laughed.

"I just want to go home and sleep in my own bed."

"I know and I have ordered your discharge. You'll be free before lunch."

"Are you sure she's ready?" Grissom was concerned

"I think she is. We've done all we can do for her here. The rest is up to time. She needs to heal."

"I will rest better at home, Gil. I hate hospitals."

"Gil, I think going home is the best thing for her at this point. She is stable and she needs to heal. Studies have proven that patients do that better at home. They are more familiar with the surroundings and they have their family around."

Appealing to his scientific side was the correct approach. Grissom nodded.

The doctor added, "If things get worse or don't get better, you can always come back. Sara, you will need to have a follow up visit in a week. We will need to keep an eye on that cast. You will be off work for at least three weeks. After you return, you will be limited in your functions for another three weeks. You need to take it easy. I will write the work orders for your job. You will be able to go in a few hours."

"Thank you doctor." Grissom said.

"You're welcome."

"I was serious about you taking it easy, Sara. Your body needs to heal."

"I know and I will. Thank you."

"I will see you next week for your check up."

"Bye."

The doctor left. Sara was excited to go home. Grissom was anxious.

"Gil, will you help me get changed?"

"Don't you want to take a shower first?"

"I'll take my shower at home. So will you help me?"

"Sure."

He helped her put on her clean clothes and helped her pack her dirty ones in the bag he brought.

He also helped her put her shoes on. The clothes they had found her in were now evidence. She felt much better.

"I'll have to get some new boots before I can go back to work."

He nodded, "We'll go shopping when it's time."

"Right now I just want to get home and see Hank and sleep in my bed…with you."

He recognized that tone in her voice. He wasn't sure she was ready for that.

"We'll take is slow, Sara."

She nodded. She knew he was nervous about her coming home.

"Gil, I won't break."

"I know. I just worry about you. I don't know what I would do if…"

He couldn't finish the thought. She had not seen his anguish when she was missing or when he was waiting for word of her condition.

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

She was surprised by his reaction. He has always seemed so strong.

Losing Sara had always been his fear. He thought she would tire of him and find someone younger. That was part of the reason he waited so long. Her dying was not ever something he considered until now. She was so much younger. He just thought she would out live him. The reverse scared the hell out of him. He had come to realize that he could not live without her.

"I love you, Sara." he choked out.

There had been so many tears in the past few days. She wanted only happy thoughts right now.

"I love you too."

Being in the hospital was often harder on the family members of the patient. This was true for Grissom. He was used to controlling everything in his life and now he was not in the driver's seat and he was unnerved by it.

"Gil, we'll be home in a few more hours and then we can put this behind us."

He knew that would not happen. There was still the issue of work and one of them changing shifts. There was the fact that everyone knew about them and they would be the center of gossip. They were both private people and that would very hard to get used to.

He didn't want to bring it up now. It was not the time.

"I'll get your stuff ready to go. That way when they release you, it will be a fast get away."

She smiled at him.

The nurse came in with her breakfast a few minutes later.

"Last one of these I will have to eat. Sure you don't want some?"

"No thanks. I'll wait until later."

"I don't blame you. I'm hungry so I'm going to eat." She began eating the breakfast they brought her.

"Go right ahead, dear. We'll stop on the way home at the bakery and get something else."

She smiled even bigger at him. She loved the muffins from the bakery near their house and he knew it. There were many times he brought her muffins on his way home from work.

"Can we get blueberry?"

"Anything you want."

"Good, because this stuff is shit." Sara complained as she threw her fork down.

Grissom laughed. That was such a Sara thing to say.

"It won't me much longer now, dear."

Sara was feeling better just at the thought of going home.

Breakfast was finished and the nurse came to discharge Sara. Grissom was given her discharge papers and her care instructions.

Sara protested about being wheeled out, but it was hospital policy.

Grissom chided, "If you want to get out of this place then sit down in the chair, Sara."

She huffed as she sat down. More than anything she wanted out of here.

The nurse wheeled her out and waited while Grissom pulled the car around to pick her up.

He gently helped her into the car and helped her get situated.

"All set?"

"Just get me out of here."

They drove home only stopping at the bakery where Grissom left her waiting in the car as he got her some blueberry muffins as well as her second favorite, apricot pineapple.

She could smell them when he came back to the car.

"Those smell wonderful. Can I have one now?"

"Anything for you."

She pulled a blueberry muffin from the bag and devoured it.

Grissom laughed to see her eat like that. There had been so many times he had to pester her to eat and now she was inhaling a muffin, not even really taking the time to taste it.

"What? I've only had hospital food for days and this is so good."

"Take the time to enjoy it, honey."

"I will for the next one."

They pulled into their parking area and Grissom parked the car. He helped Sara get out and took her bag for her.

He unlocked the door and followed her in.

She was home. She was surrounded by her things. It was the first time in days that she felt like things were going to be okay.

Grissom wrapped his arms around her as they stood in the living room of their townhouse. Neither of them said anything for a long time. They just held each other.

Grissom spoke first, "I'm sorry this happened to you Sara."

"This was not your fault, Gil."

He didn't want to argue about it. He would always carry the guilt with him. He'd spoken once years ago about not having that Catholic guilt in him anymore, but this was different. He knew he was responsible for what happened to her. The last thing he ever wanted to do was cause Sara more pain and he had.

"I love you, Sara."

"I know you do."

His phone ringing interrupted them.

"Grissom."

"Hi, Gil, it's Jim. I was just checking to see if you needed anything. The hospital said Sara's been released."

"We're fine. I went shopping yesterday to get the few things we needed. Thanks for the offer."

"Any time. Call if you need something."

"We will and thanks."

They hung up.

"That was Brass. He wanted to know if you needed anything."

"I think he wants to come over and spy on us."

"Sara, it's not going to be easy for a while. People need time to adjust to us being together."

"I know."

She did not relish living in a fishbowl, but she knew they would have to deal with it for a while.

"You tired? Do you want to rest?"

"No, I just want to enjoy being home. I want to watch TV on our TV and I want to curl up on the couch with you."

"Let me take my shower and get changed and we can do that."

She nodded and let him go. A few minutes later Grissom returned in his lounge pants and a t-shirt.

"Ready to watch some TV?"

"Yep."

The phone rang again.

Grissom sighed as he answered it.

"Grissom"

It was Catherine.

"Hi, do you guys need anything?"

"Nope, we're good. Thanks."

"Okay, well let me know if you do."

"I will. Thanks, Catherine."

"I'll talk to you later."

They hung up.

"Well two down, three to go."

"Yeah, sorry. I know they mean well."

"I know they do too."

The phone rang again.

This time it was Ecklie. He didn't answer it.

"You're not going to answer it?"

"Nope, it's Ecklie and I know I don't want to talk to him right now."

"Me either, but that conversation is coming and we both know it.'

He nodded and motioned for her to sit beside him on the couch.

"What do you want to watch?"

"I don't care."

"Oh well then there is a good special on the Discovery Channel about bees."

"Okay, maybe I care."

"I'll TiVo it. You can watch whatever you want."

"How about a movie?"

"Sure. What do you want to watch?"

"Something with Clarke Gable."

"It Happened One Night?"

"Sure, a comedy would be good."

Grissom got up and set the movie up to play.

Sara yawned.

"Do you want to watch this later and get some rest now?"

"NO, now put the movie in please."

"Yes, Dear."

They watched the movie together on the couch for a while.

"Sara, are you hungry? I'll make lunch."

"That would be great."

He went into the kitchen and made her a grilled cheese sandwich and some fruit.

"This smells great, thanks. I missed your cooking."

He handed her the sandwich and she ate it.

"Are you ready for a nap yet?"

"No, I'm not sleepy."

The phone rang.

Before he picked it up he said, "Any bets on who it is?"

"Hummm, Nick I think."

He looked at the display and she was right.

"Hi, Nick."

"Hey, Griss, do you guys need anything?"

"No, we're fine."

Sara tried to hold in a snicker. She knew how the conversation was going and what would be said.

"I'll let you know if we need anything Nick, thanks."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Nick"

"Bye, say hi to Sara for me."

"Only two more to go now."

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The days passed and Sara got stronger. She learned to maneuver with the cast. Grissom had to return to work

His first shift back he called her three times to make sure she was okay. The last two he woke her up.

That morning Ecklie called. Sara saw the lab number on the caller id and thought it was Grissom. It was Ecklie.

"Hello."

"Hello, Sara. This is Conrad Ecklie. I need you to come in and talk to me."

Shit, she hadn't wanted to do this, but she knew it was going to happen sooner or later.

"When would you like me to come?"

"How about 10:00 am today."

"Fine. I'll be there"

"I'll see you then."

She hung up the phone and tried to call Grissom. It went straight to voicemail. That meant he was out of range.

She knew he did not want her driving, but there was no choice.

She got dressed and headed into the lab. It was the first time she was back there since her abduction.

She pulled into the parking lot and found her usual spot. Driving was more difficult than she thought it would be with one hand, but she managed.

As she entered the building, she felt the stare of everyone's eyes on her. It took everything she had not turn around and head home, but that would only prolong the process.

She squared her shoulders and walked the familiar hallway to Ecklie's office. She knocked on the door. He was on the phone.

"Have a seat."

In the background Sara could hear Grissom's voicemail message.

"How's the arm?"

"Fractured in two places."

Sara sat down on the couch.

"Gil, Conrad again. Um….message number three. Call me back please."

He hung up the phone and spoke to Sara. This was awkward for both of them.

"Is is feeling better?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

There was an awkward pause again before Ecklie spoke.

"So, you must know where he is."

"Actually, I don't."

It was the truth as desperately as she wanted him there with her, she did not know where he was at the moment.

"Really?"

He picked up the folder that was sitting on his desk and closed the office door.

"Okay…um…look, I don't want to play any games here. This is as difficult for me as it is for you."

_Oh, I doubt that_ she thought. She was on edge and feeling a bit defensive at the moment.

"So let's just….uh…..just get this over with, shall we?"

He sat down in the chair across from her and opened his notebook.

"Okay then…uh…this is an administrative inquiry. You and your supervisor were in direct violation of Lab policy…

"Are." She interrupted him.

"Are in direct violation of lab policy, which states that members of the same forensic team may not engage in a romantic relationship. So when did you and Supervisor Grissom begin your relationship?"

_That is none of your business_ was what she thought.

"We've always had a relationship."

She wanted to make him squirm, and she was succeeding.

"I mean when did you become intimate?"

She thought for a moment.

"Two years ago. I think it was a Sunday."

She knew very well it was a Sunday. It was the day after Adam Trent held her hostage in the room at the hospital.

Ecklie's face showed shock. They had managed to fool him for two years and he was pissed about it.

"Two years?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, Sara. I will let you know my decision when I have talked to Grissom."

"Is that all you wanted then?"

"Yes. I hope you feel better soon. When do you return to work?"

"In another two weeks."

"Thank you."

Sara got up and left. The eyes that followed her in followed her out.

She made it to the car without crying.

Once there, she let out the tears that she held in.

This was going to be so much harder than she though.


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: There are borrowed words from A La Carte in this one. Read and enjoy. Thanks to Karen for the beta. She is awesome.**

Grissom got back to the lab after finding a boy decapitated on the side of the road. He'd avoided the message from Ecklie and missed the one from Sara. He walked in and went immediately to his office. He really didn't want to run into Ecklie. He closed his door and sat down at his desk. It had been a long night and he was now half way through a double shift. It was a hell of a way to come back.

He called Sara.

"Hello." She answered.

"Hi, Honey. I'm almost ready to come home. It was a long night. I'm sorry I missed your call. I was up in the hills and the reception was spotty."

"Hurry home." Her voice cracked a bit.

"What's wrong?" He knew from the tone of her voice that something was wrong.

"I just got back from the lab. I thought it was you calling but it was Ecklie. I had to go in and see him. He said he would let us know what his decision was soon. I know he wants to talk to you."

"I know he does, but I don't really want to talk to the little weasel."

That made Sara laugh.

"I have to log in the evidence and I will be home. Nick said he'd do the autopsy."

"Good. Are you going to pick Hank up on the way home?"

"Oh, thanks for reminding me. Yes, I will."

"I'll see you in a while then."

"Sara, I love you."

"I know and I love you too."

_Damn Ecklie. He can't even leave her alone long enough to heal? She wasn't even supposed to come back to work for another three weeks. _He knew getting angry was not going to help Sara at the moment. He needed to be strong for her. He was really not ready to talk to Ecklie now. He would say something he would regret and that would not help either one of them.

Grissom finished what he needed to do and left the lab. There was no sign of Ecklie for the moment. The receptionist informed Grissom that Ecklie had been called away to meet with the Undersheriff. Grissom breathed a sigh of relief.

The receptionist asked about Sara.

Grissom was not used to that kind of inquiry. It took him a bit off guard.

"She's…um she's getting better. Thank you for asking."

He did not notice the stares like Sara had. Grissom was much better at tuning out the world and the people in it. He'd been doing it for years.

He'd spent so many years of his life alone. There was never somebody else he needed to answer for. This was going to take some getting used to.

"I'm heading home now. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodbye, Dr. Grissom."

With that he headed out the door. He didn't want to answer any more questions. He and Sara were private people and he wanted to keep it that way. Their relationship was not fodder for the rumor beast. He wanted to keep his private live private. They had done that for two years and it had never spilled over into their work. They had always remained professional. If truth be told it had made working together easier.

He got home about one in the afternoon. Sara was waiting for him on the couch. Hank came bounding in. Sara was as glad to see him as he was to see her.

They even forgave Hank for jumping on the couch.

"Hi, buddy." Sara scratched him all over with her good hand.

"He's happy to see you."

"I'm happy to see him too."

Sara nuzzled Hank.

Grissom was glad to have Hank back with Sara. He would be good company for her while Grissom was at work.

"I missed you, Hank."

The dog gave a small yelp of agreement and licked Sara's face. It was a major break in the rules, but allowed today.

"You better not let him get too used to that. You know how long it took me to break him of sleeping in my spot on the bed when I got back from Boston."

"Don't worry, honey, I still like your kisses best."

He gave her a raised eyebrow look.

To prove her point, Sara got up and kissed him. It was the first really intimate kiss since before the abduction. It was a surprise to both of them. Grissom had not been thinking about that. He just wanted Sara well. She had thought about it, but only in passing. The feelings that kiss stirred were a shock to them.

"Sara, I…"

"Gil, I want to."

"How?"

"I don't care. I just need you right now."

She stepped up and kissed him again.

"I can't wait six weeks until this cast is off. I want you now. "

"I don't want to hurt you, honey."

"You won't. I tell you if it hurts."

He was worried, but when she looked at him with those big brown eyes he could not resist.

"Are you sure, Sara?" He was worried. He didn't want to hurt her.

She nodded as she took his hand and led him to the bedroom.

She turned to him once they were there. She kissed him with all the passion she felt. It was passion born of the need to reconnect and to feel alive again. She could feel his body respond to her kisses.

"Sara..." She quieted him with another kiss.

She didn't want words right now.

She used her good hand to pull his t-shirt over his head.

He was finding it harder and harder to resist her. He understood her need, but there was a nagging feeling that he would hurt her.

She looked up at him with those chocolate eyes and his last resolve melted. He returned her kisses and began to remove her shirt as well. The process was a bit slower than his, but they eventually freed her of her shirt. Her bruises were fading a bit. They were not as purple has they had been.

"Do the bruises still hurt?"

"Not as much as they did."

He leaned in and kissed her. She molded her body to his. She needed to feel him right now.

He finished undressing her and led her to the bed.

"Are you sure this won't hurt you, Honey?"

She nodded her head and pulled him down with her.

"I just want to feel you. I need you right now."

"I'm here for you always, Sara. Don't ever worry about that."

She kissed him again. She was worried about just that. She worried that he would think she was damaged. She needed to know he still wanted her. The trauma of her youth left huge scars. They were not physical scars, but emotional scars, which were often worse than the physical kind. Her time in the desert had opened some of the old wounds.

She worked to get Grissom's belt undone, but it was hard with one hand.

"Let me help." He finished the job for her and joined her on the bed.

The cast was going to be a problem. Grissom was working out the best way to get around that. He laid down on his back and pulled Sara on top of him. That way the weight of his body would not add to her pain.

She kissed him and adjusted herself to allow him access. She gently lowered herself down and took all of him in. He let her set the pace. She slowly began to find a rhythm.

"Sara, I love you."

Grissom understood she needed to feel loved and wanted right now. He did want her and he did need her.

He knew how to please her. He could feel she was getting closer. He also knew he wouldn't last much longer as well.

"Let it go, Sara."

She did just that. He let his release come just a moment behind hers.

She laid down on his chest and rested.

"I love you, Gil. No matter what happens, please know that I love you more than I have ever loved anyone."

"I know." He kissed the top of her head.

They stayed like that for a long time. Grissom just held her until her breathing gave away that she had fallen asleep. He let her sleep that way for more than an hour.

_My sweet Sara, what happened to you out there? You seem different._ He didn't dare speak those words to her. She wanted desperately for things to be the way they were. That was never going to be possible again. They had to find a way to move forward and get past this. He was worried about Sara. Gone was the confident woman he had known.

When she began to wake, he greeted her with kisses.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's okay. I don't mind at all."

"Do you want something to eat? I didn't even give you the chance to eat when you came home."

"I'm fine….What did Ecklie have to say to you?"

"He wanted to know the details of our relationship and how long we'd been together. He really was uncomfortable."

"Good. It's none of his business really."

"I just gave him the bare facts and then I left. He said he'd get back to me about his decision."

"I looked into moving to swing today. There is a supervisor's position open if I want it. I will fill out the paperwork tomorrow to move."

Sara knew this is what would happen if their relationship ever became public. It pained her to know that they would not be working together every day. She would miss that most of all.

She said nothing in response.

"I have to work tonight," he added.

"I know. You better get some sleep before you go in."

"Take a nap with me?"

She nodded and shifted off of him.

"I love you, Sara." He said as he drifted off to sleep.

He did not see the tear slip down her cheek.

"I love you too."

She wondered when this feeling of dread would go away. It was like always waiting for the other shoe to drop. When would the next bad thing happen? She had lived with ghosts all her life and now she was having trouble shutting them out. They came to her in the quiet times. It made sleeping difficult. When Grissom was not there, she could not sleep. If they were on different shifts they would not be sleeping at the same time. She felt as if her life were unraveling.

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Grissom worked his shift in peace. He'd called Sara a few times to make sure she was okay. It was just about the end of shift. Grissom was sitting at his desk when Ecklie came storming in. He'd been waiting for Grissom to come in. It was early but Ecklie didn't care. He'd come in just for this purpose.

"You've been dodging me; it's time to talk…Gil, nobody wants to hear about your love life less that I do, but since you didn't handle this right, I have to take a formal statement."

Grissom said nothing.

"This should've been a conversation between friends. I mean, we could've found some way around this. Catherine could have done Sara's evaluations. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"We didn't want you to know." It was an honest answer.

"Don't most women like the world to know they're dating someone?"

"Where do you get your information about women, Conrad?"

Ecklie shook his head. He didn't want to get into that right now. It was not why he we here.

"Okay, so, when did you two, you know?"

Grissom thought back over the years and came up with the answer as to when he started loving Sara.

"Nine years ago."

Ecklie rolled his eyes. He didn't want to play games with this.

"You know what? You two need to get your story straight."

Grissom was confused as Ecklie stormed out of his office.

Grissom shrugged it off and got back to work.

Greg and Nick came in a while later to discuss the results they had gotten. They were not sure about how things had happened.

They had found high velocity blood spatter in the rear wheel of the victim's cart and trace evidence of rubber on both sides of the victim's neck.

Greg said, "There were blown-out tire fragments all over the road."

Grissom countered, "But we found his body off the road. There shouldn't be and transfer from truck tires…..unless."

An idea had come to Grissom.

"Come with me. We're going to need some supplies for this one."

Grissom gathered the necessary supplies: ballistics gel and a plastic spine, an automatic baseball pitching machine and rubber tire fragments. They were going to test if the tire fragments could decapitate a person.

They prepared the mold and made the body.

Ecklie came in just as they were getting ready to start.

Ecklie asked, "What's going on here?"

Grissom retorted, "We're trying to determine whether a steel-belted truck tire can decapitate a kid driving a go-cart."

Nick put the helmet on the Jell-o man.

Ecklie commented, "I thought that was an urban myth."

Grissom countered, "Myths, legends, tall tales…they all come from something real"

Nick explained what they were doing, "If that go-cart was going 60 miles an hour drafting a truck going the same speed, and that truck blows a tire, sending a two-pound projectile into the drivers neck…"

Ecklie saw where this was going, "Yeah, the combined speed of impact would be 120 miles an hour. Which is about…" he was trying to calculate.

Greg answered, "962 foot-pounds of energy."

Grissom was anxious to get the show on the road, "All right, let's go, fellas."

Ecklie was not impressed. He didn't move.

Grissom snidely said, "Come on, Conrad. There's always room for Jell-o"

Ecklie grabbed some protective glasses and muttered, "It's expensive Jell-o."

Grissom thought _at least Sara won't have to eat it._

Greg looked like a kid with a new toy, "I love this."

The rubber did indeed decapitate the Jell-o man.

Ecklie admitted, "Well, it worked…See if we can't reuse some of that."

Grissom grinned like a child. Not only was it fun, it showed up Ecklie. He couldn't wait to tell Sara about this one and the new uses for Jell-o he'd discovered.

Nick suggested that they go ride the go-carts.

He'd built them as a kid and wanted to ride one now. He thought the rest of the team might enjoy it as well.

Grissom said he would have to check with Sara.

He called her cell phone.

"Hello."

"Hi, Honey."

"Hi, what's up?"

"Nick and the rest of the team are going to ride go-carts and invited us to go along."

"Sounds like fun."

She had been thinking while he worked that day.

She needed to tell Grissom what she had decided to do.

"I'll come get you."

"Okay."

They hung up and Sara waited for Grissom to arrive.

She heard him come in the door.

"Sara…" he called.

"In here. I'm having trouble getting my shirt on. Will you help me please?"

He tried not to laugh, but she looked so cute wrestling with her shirt.

"Here, let me help."

They got her shirt on her finally.

"Oh, I found a new use for Jell-o. We used ballistics gel to make a mold to see if a truck tire could decapitate a kid on a go-cart. Next time we'll just use your Jell-o."

She laughed. She could just see Nick, Greg, and, Grissom getting that ready. That was the fun part of the job. She remembered some of the experiments she had done with Grissom in the past: The tape experiment, the pickle experiment, the bomb experiment, the chainsaw experiment. Those had been fun. This just reminded her that she would not be working with him any more on a regular basis. It made her sad.

Grissom continued to explain, "Ecklie was pissed that we used the ballistics gel, but we did prove that it could have happened."

"Good, I'm glad you figured it out."

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah."

Grissom had changed his clothes as well.

"We'll get some dinner on the way back."

He noticed her change in mood.

"You okay? You sure you're up to going out?"

"Yeah. I want to be with everyone."

"Then what is it?"

"It's our first time out as a couple."

"Oh, I forgot about that."

"Yeah, it feels…strange in a way. I know we've been together for two years, but they don't know that."

"If you're not comfortable then we won't go."

"No, I want to go. I just need some time to adjust."

"Honey, these are our friends. They understand and they are happy for us."

"I know…come on. Let's not keep them waiting."

They left and met the team at the go-card racing building.

They sat in the car for a moment.

Grissom asked Sara a question he'd been meaning to ask her all day.

"When did you tell Ecklie we got involved?"

"Two years ago. Why? What did you tell him?"

"Nine years ago."

Sara laughed.

"The Forensic Academy Conference?"

"Yeah."

She laughed again.

"You…uh…had too many questions about anthropology for some reason."

"Well, I was stalling. I was trying to get the nerve to ask you to dinner."

Grissom remember that day in vivid detail. It was when he first loved Sara.

"You had a ponytail."

She smiled at the fact that he remembered that. She decided not to put off telling him her decision any longer.

"I'm going to move to swing."

There, she said it.

He responded with, "We talked about this."

"I know that you said that you would do it, but I don't want to do that to the team. Besides….I am sure that I could use more daylight in my life."

Grissom nodded, but said nothing.

Sara said, "We should go."

"Yeah."

Grissom opened his door and got out of the car. He then opened Sara's door for her and helped her out of the car.

He placed his hand in the small of her back like he had done a hundred times before, but this was different. They didn't have to hide or worry about getting caught. It unnerved Sara a bit.

They saw the team having fun on the go-carts. Nick pulled up to the fence when he saw them.

"Whoo…. You…uh…you want a ride?"

She answered, "I wish I could."

Nick turned to Grissom.

"What about you, Ricky Bobby?"

"No, thanks, I like to watch."

"Okay."

Nick laughed and took off again. He was having too much fun to stop.

Sara turned to Grissom.

"You should go."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you should go."

He really wanted to. It looked like a lot of fun.

"Okay."

He headed out through the gate where there was a waiting go-cart and put on the helmet.

Sara smiled and gave him the thumbs up sign. She loved to watch him have fun.

Grissom gave her a thumbs up and took off.

Sara watched them have fun. They were like a bunch of kids at play. Even Doc. Robbins was there.

It occurred to Sara as she watched them that she would not be there with them anymore. She was moving to a different shift. She would not share that kind of companionship with them anymore. These people were her friends and her family and now she would no longer be a part of them.

It was hard not to cry at that thought. She tried to put on a brave face and she hoped that nobody noticed she was fighting back tears.

By the time the team was done she had gotten her emotions under control.

Catherine greeted Sara, "Hey, how you feeling?"

"Better thanks."

"You look good."

Nick came up and gave her a hug as did Greg. Warrick was not far behind.

They all decided where to go for dinner. It was tradition they went to the diner.

Grissom drove as Sara stared out the window.

'Penny for your thoughts."

"What? Oh sorry. I was just thinking about all the times we have eaten at the diner."

"You sure you're up to this?"

"Yes, Gil. I want to go. I need to be with my friends. I want to get back to a normal life. I want to do normal things and not have everyone hovering over me."

She did not mean to be snappy with him. She knew he was only concerned about her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I..I..I just need some time to adjust."

"Sara, it's okay. Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded.

"I don't want to live in a fishbowl and have everyone stare at us. I want it to be the way it was."

"That's not possible, but people will get used to us and there won't be stares anymore."

She nodded.

They pulled into the parking lot and joined their friends in the restaurant. Grissom was right there was no staring. They just enjoyed each other's company. They laughed and talked of stories from work. Warrick and Catherine told the team about their restaurant case and eating in the dark. Grissom and Nick told about the go-cart case. It was like old times. It made Sara sad to think there would not be breakfasts like this after shift anymore. They would be on different schedules. She tried to hide her sadness, but Grissom saw it. He said nothing for the moment.

When they had finished eating, Grissom and Sara walked to the car.

"What's wrong, Sara?"

"I'm going to miss everyone, that's all."

"You'll still see them."

"I know, but it won't be the same."

He knew it wouldn't be the same and chose not to lie to her and say it would be.

"We'll work it out, Dear."

She nodded, but had doubts.

The drive was quiet. They arrived home and went inside.

"Sara?"

She turned to look at him.

The sadness in her eyes was hard to miss. He knew this change was going to be hard on her.

"I'll still change shifts. You can stay with the team."

"No, you stay on grave. Besides if you had to work with Ecklie on a daily basis you'd kill each other."

He smiled.

"Gil, I'll be fine. I just need some time to adjust to all of this."

"I'm here if you need to talk."

"I know and I love you."

"I love you, too."

He pulled her into an embrace and held her there for a few minutes. She took comfort in his arms. She would miss him most of all.

**A/N: Please leave a review. I love reading them. **


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: There is some dialogue form Go To Hell in this one. **

**Still don't own them. **

**Please leave a review when you are done. It make the author happy and it gives me something to read.**

Sara spent the next weeks getting stronger. She was due to return to work on the swing shift in two days. As the time grew closer, she worried more. She didn't want to change shifts. Grissom spent as much time with her as possible. Most days he didn't work doubles and was home for breakfast.

Sara went to the doctor and got her cast changed. Her arm was healing and it did not bother her as much as it did before. She visited the lab a few times.

The day her first shift back began she met her new partner. Her name was Ronnie Lake. She was young and full of questions. This was her first assignment as a CSI. Sara wondered if she was that annoying when she was new. She remembered asking hundreds of questions. She tried to be patient with her, but found it difficult.

Sara missed her friends. She only saw them in passing. Once or twice they worked a double together. Grissom was working a case where a man and a woman had been killed in a hotel room. There was no apparent motive or suspect at the moment. As the case unfolded, they discovered there was a daughter and she was missing at the moment.

Sara and Ronnie were assigned the case of an elderly man in an alley. They found him covered in ants. Ronnie asked questions about ants. Sara did her best to answer them. Grissom would be proud. She guessed it was the benefit of living with an entomologist. She had picked up a thing or two about bugs. Sara also told Ronnie that she was limited to twenty questions per case.

Brass came to the scene and talked to Sara. It was good to see a friendly face. She wanted shift to end so she could go home and see Grissom. When she got back to the lab she heard that Grissom was working. She went home alone. Grissom had been called in early on his case and they missed seeing each other at the lab.

She woke up the next morning with no sight of him. He had not called her. She decided to go looking for him. She contacted the lab to see where he had been. The receptionist told her and she went to the scene.

As Nick and Warrick were searching the dead couple's house, they found the body of a young girl. She was the sister of the missing girl, Amy. They did not know where Amy was at the moment.

Grissom also found a colony of bees in the attic. He had been reading about bees dying off in huge numbers. It was a major topic of conversation in the entomology world. He collected the bees to see if there was something about this colony that had kept it healthy. He was also looking for signs of Colony Collapse.

Sara saw Greg outside the house as she approached.

"Wow, what do you got there, Greg?"

".22 handgun. Looks like it could be the murder weapon. You off the clock?"

"Yeah. Good job."

"Thanks. How you doing?"

"Well, I've had better days. You missing me yet?"

"A little more every day. Grissom's in the attic…still."

Sara smiled as she headed inside the house.

Grissom was walking out carrying a box.

"Hey." She greeted him.

"Hey. Bee frame. Inside. I've got the queen, the workers, the whole colony."

"You're looting the crime scene of its bees?"

"I cleared it with Animal Control. This colony is healthy. I need it to study Colony Collapse Disorder. Bees are dying in record numbers everywhere."

"You know, I did read that if every bee on earth died, the human race would follow four years later."

"There's no evidence to support that, though."

"Oh."

"But the world will end… someday."

"Ever the optimist, aren't you."

"How was your first day back?"

"Lousy. Have you met the new girl yet?"

"On swing? Yeah. She asks a lot of questions."

"Was I ever that annoying?"

"I remember you asking a lot of questions, but I never found you annoying."

She smiled.

"As soon as I get these bees to the enclosure we can head home."

"Good. I'm tired."

"You sure you're okay to be back at work so soon?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I just need to rest."

"How's your arm feeling today?"

"Not too bad really."

"Good."

"I won't be much longer. Then we can go home. I'm off tonight."

Sara was glad to hear that. She had missed him today. Being at work without him was harder than she had imagined. It was different when they were on the same shift and one of them had the day off. It was not a permanent separation. Even when he was gone on sabbatical it was not permanent.

Sara watched as he loaded the bees into a special truck to move them to his enclosure he had behind their townhouse. She followed him there in her car and watched as he unloaded it. She loved to watch him in scientist mode. He could get lost for hours in an experiment. Today he did not. He got the bees settled and thanked the Animal Control officer for his help in transporting the bees.

Bees were not her favorite, but it was an important project for Grissom. This could be a diversion for him. He had taken a sabbatical before when he needed a break. The bees could do that now. He loved to do research and with this project he could stay at home.

Sara waited outside the enclosure for Grissom to finish setting things up. He had a bee keeper's helmet on. He looked cute she though. He locked the enclosure and walked toward Sara.

"The bees survived the trip just fine. The hive is intact and healthy. I'll contact a friend of mine who is working on the bee issue. He will help me with what to look for."

She smiled a crooked smile at him.

"What?"

"You're just so cute when you're in entomologist mode….in your bee hat."

He blushed at bit and smiled at her.

"I'll get you a matching one." He teased her.

"Are you ready to go home?"

"More than you know."

She yawned.

"You need to rest, Sara."

"I think I could sleep for a week. I'm still not used to being up in the daytime like this."

"Come on, let's go upstairs and rest. I'm tired."

He took the bee keeper's had off and left it by the enclosure.

They walked together up to their townhouse.

Hank was waiting for them when they got there. He needed to be walked. Grissom took him outside for a few minutes. Sara took the opportunity to take a shower and dress in her pajamas.

Grissom returned to find her making some sandwiches for them to eat. It was rough going one handed, but she was getting better at it.

"Need some help?"

"Nope, I got it."

"Go wash up while I get the rest of lunch ready."

He took a quick shower and they ate lunch. She was quieter than usual.

"Sara?"

She looked up at him.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just harder than I thought not working with you and the rest of the team anymore."

It broke his heart to see her sad. He didn't know what to say to her.

"Ready for a nap? Are you on the schedule for tonight?"

"Yeah, I have to be in at 4:00."

"Its 12:00 now so let's get some sleep."

She nodded and cleared the dishes.

She crawled into their bed and curled up next to Grissom. She needed to be near him. He wrapped his arm around her and held her until she fell asleep. He kissed the top of her head. He knew something else was bothering her, but he didn't know what it was. He wasn't even sure she knew what it was.

He finally fell asleep.

When Sara woke up Grissom was sleeping next to her. She watched him for a long time. She loved him so much. She didn't understand what was going on with her. She felt out of control. She thought work would help, but so far it hadn't. She was tired of death and seeing the horrors that one human could do to another. She wanted to stay here with Grissom and shut the rest of the world out. Here with him she felt safe and loved. She had wanted a real home all of her live and she found it here with him.

She was surprised to feel the first tear roll down her cheek.

Grissom woke up.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I don't know. I'm just…I really don't know."

He pulled her close and held her until she stopped crying.

He was worried. He'd thought about bringing up the idea of counseling to her, but feared her reaction. She had her fill of counselors.

"I'm sorry, Gil. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Sara, don't be sorry. If you need to talk I'm here."

She kissed him.

Her cell phone rang. It was the lab. She was needed early. Day shift was tapped and she was the first up.

"I have to go in early."

"Okay, are you rested enough?"

"I'm fine."

She got up and got dressed. He watched her. She seemed like she was doing better, but he had his doubts.

"I'm leaving now, I'll call you later. Get some rest. I love you."

"I love you, too."

She kissed him and headed out the door.

He could not go back to sleep. He made himself something to eat and then decided to do some research on Colony Collapse Disorder. He was startled when the phone rang.

"Grissom."

"Hi."

It was Sara.

"How's the shift going?"

"It's going. Ronnie is really driving me nuts. God, was I ever that much of pain in the ass? How did you put up with me?"

He smiled, "I loved you….still do."

She smiled at the comment. She understood his feelings for her went way back He had been afraid to act on them but he had loved her for nine years.

"I just needed to hear your voice. Did you get anymore sleep?"

"No, I was just doing some research about the bees. I know what to look for and I will be documenting the results. Ben Holston and I are going to work on this project together. If we find something definitive we plan on publishing a paper together."

"Good. I hope you can find something to stop the process."

"Yeah, me too."

He looked at the clock, it was nearly 9:00 pm. He hadn't realized so much time had gone by.

"Just a few more hours and you'll be home."

"Yeah, I can't wait."

His cell phone rang.

"Oh hang on, my cell is ringing."

He looked at the caller ID. It was Catherine.

"Hey, I gotta take this call. I'll call you right back. Love you."

"Okay, love you too."

Grissom answered the phone and Catherine filled him in on the case.

"We found Amy. She's at the hospital now. I'm headed there. Brass has the guy she was with at PD."

"Okay. I'll head into the lab and see what I can do."

They hung up and Grissom called Sara back.

"Hi, honey. I have to go in. The case I am working in just broke wide open."

"Okay, I'll see you at the lab then."

"Okay."

He headed in. When he got there he went to AV and began processing the evidence. They had discovered that Amy had been chatting on the internet with an older man and that she had lured the older man into a sexual relationship. It was the daughter that killed her parents with the help of her boyfriend.

The girl had been taken into protective custody and sent to a detention center. Once they read the transcripts of the conversation between Amy and Wolflynn, Catherine and Brass headed over to the detention center to question her. Grissom had been called to meet them there. This was the kind of case that shook your faith in humanity. How could a 12 year old kill her parents for not letting her date an older man? There was no making sense of what happened. There was no way to rationalize what happened to this family.

Catherine could only think of Lindsey. She hoped that her relationship with her daughter was stronger than that. Cases like this got to Catherine even though she would never admit it or let it get in the way of her work.

Brass and Catherine arrived at the CPS detention center and asked to see Amy.

"We need to see Amy Macalino."

"Popular girl tonight. She's upstairs with her minister."

Brass had a horrible feeling about that. He ran for the stairs.

"Let's go!"

Catherine questioned the attendant, "Her what? " She spoke into her radio to call for back up, "Control, this is Willows. I'm at CPS. I need backup. Code Three now."

Amy screaming broke the silence.

Catherine looked up to see Alistair Rhodes holding Amy up against the railing. They were on the top floor.

He did the unthinkable; he pushed her off the balcony. "I cast you out!"

Catherine watched in horror as Amy landed at her feet. She had died instantly.

Brass and the police officer arrested Alistair for murdering Amy.

He believed that he had finished what he had started in the hotel room. He believe that he had saved her from the demons that haunted her.

Grissom arrived a few minutes later. He came upon Catherine processing the scene. There was nothing to say to each other. They processed the scene in silence side by side. It all seemed a huge waste. Why did it have to come to this? A whole family dead.

Grissom found a dead bee at the scene and picked it up. Was it symbolic of the tragedy of the situation? He didn't know. The scene was finished and Grissom headed back to the lab.

He was tired.

There was still three hours left in his shift. He wanted to go home.

Thankfully it was a slow night and he didn't have to work a double.

Sara was still asleep when he arrived home. Hank greeted him at the door.

Grissom petted the dog and then took him for a short walk.

Sara hadn't heard Grissom come home. She woke up to find the dog gone and Grissom's brief case sitting on the counter. She figured that he came home and took Hank for a walk.

The coffee was just finishing when Grissom and Hank walked in the door.

Sara had gone to get dressed while the coffee finished brewing. She came back to the kitchen to find Grissom pouring himself a cup.

"Hey." She greeted him

"Good morning."

He got another cup and poured her one.

She kissed him when he handed it to her.

"How was work?"

"Rough."

"Want to talk about it?"

Grissom sighed, "We found out what happened to the family in the hotel room. The daughter did it and then the minister who was trying to expel her demons threw her off the balcony of the CPS detention center."

Sara was sorry she asked.

"You okay?" She asked him.

"I'm just tired. This job sometimes gets to me."

"I understand that." Lately the job had been getting to her more than she cared to admit.

Burn out was a problem in their line of work. It was hard to see what they saw every day and not be affected by it. Even the mighty Gil Grissom was not immune to the horrors of the job. Sara knew that. She had been there when he had nightmares about the job. It came with the territory.

She wrapped her arms around him and just held him for a few minutes. It usually helped her. He took the comfort she offered him.

"So what do you want to do this morning?" She said to break the silence.

"As little as possible. Why what do you have in mind?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to spend some time with you."

"I need to check on the bees, but that is all I really have to do. I'll do that later."

"I have to work tonight."

"No doubles today. You need to rest more."

She hadn't been sleeping well and it worried him. It was hard for her to sleep alone again. The nightmares came more often when she slept alone.

"Okay, no doubles, but you better get the criminal element in this city to agree to only commit crimes at the beginning of my shift. That way I can get home on time."

"I'll do what I can."

"You want some breakfast?"

"Sure. How about some eggs and toast? Nothing fancy."

"Sure. Go get changed and I'll start cooking."

He kissed her and headed for the bedroom. A few minutes later he had taken a shower and changed into clean clothes.

"Feel better?"

He nodded and he came up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the back of her neck. He knew that drove her crazy when he did that. She leaned back into him. They stayed like that for a few minutes just taking comfort in each other.

"Your eggs are ready." She said a few minutes later.

"Thanks."

They sat at the counter and ate.

These were the times he relished. The times when they were alone were precious. The awkwardness of everyone knowing they were a couple was diminishing. It was easier now to go out in public. They didn't have to be careful. He could hold her hand or wrap an arm around her. He did it without even thinking about it now.

There hadn't been many questions since the first few days. Ecklie had left them alone since they were now on different shifts. The team understood their need for privacy. They talked amongst themselves, but did not ask Sara or Grissom any questions. They knew they would not get an answer anyway.

He knew she had a doctor's appointment coming up, but could not remember when.

"When do you go back to the doctor?"

"On 12th at 10:00."

"I'll go with you."

"I'd like that. I should get the cast off then."

"Good. I know it must be hot."

"It makes working harder too. I have to be careful of what I do and I can't use the camera as easily."

"I know you like to be independent."

He understood that desire for independence. She had had to rely on herself from a very young age. She had learned that lesson the hard way. It took a lot for her to learn to rely on another person. It was easier to shut yourself off. That way you didn't get hurt.

He had done that for years. It took him a long time to let Sara in. Now that he had he didn't ever want to be alone again. He had been hurt as well and he understood not wanting to get hurt.

She had always wanted to let Grissom in. She finally had and it was wonderful. She wanted that back so badly. She wanted for it to be easy again. It was complicated again. They were on different shifts and had less and less time together.

"I'll get used to it. And soon I won't have to rely on someone to help me."

"Is it so bad, relying on another person?"

She thought about her answer for she spoke.

"I'm getting used to that too."

She had learned to lean on him and she did need him as well as want him. She could not imagine her life without him in it now.

Grissom had been doing a lot of thinking about their relationship in the past weeks. Almost losing Sara had brought several things into vivid clarity for him. The first thing he realized is that she was the most important person in his life. She had become more important than his job. She was his life now. The other thing he had come to realizes is that he didn't want to go through life alone anymore. He wanted to make a permanent home. Doc Robbins had asked him once if he had ever come close to getting married. He had in the second grade. Now he was considering that very thing. He wanted to marry Sara.


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: Thanks for reading. All mistakes are mine. My beta is without a computer at the moment. **

**There is dialogue from The Case of the Cross Dressing Carp (Who comes up with these titles?). This was a much lighter episode in a heavily emotional season 8. I tried to include the happy parts….I still get all giddy at one certain point…you know what part I mean ;-)**

Days passed as Grissom tried to work out how to propose to Sara. They had not worked together or even seen each other more than to say hello and goodbye. It seemed the criminal element in Las Vegas was conspiring to keep them apart. Her cast had been replaced by a brace the week before. It made her life easier not having to wear the cast. The summer heat was much more bearable in the brace than in a full cast.

Grissom had kept his word and ordered Sara a bee suit. She thought he was kidding, but he had been serious. She laughed when she tried it on for him the day it arrived.

Grissom somehow found her sexy in her bee suit. They only problem was that he had to take her out of it to kiss her. Sara laughed at his reaction. Leave it to her entomologist to be turned on by her in a bee suit. She thought she looked rather silly in the big white suit. It reminded her of the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters.

Grissom took her hat off and kissed her.

"Gil, I just got this on and now you want me to take it off?"

He nodded and he began unzipping her suit. He kissed her neck.

"As much as I love you in that suit, I love you out of it more."

She smiled as his kisses warmed her. Her whole body responded to him. Even after all the time they had been together, his touch could still melt her. She wanted him.

He removed her bee suit and led her to the bedroom. There they made love and fell asleep. It was the first time they had together in days.

Sara woke up when her alarm went off. She had to get ready for shift. It was hard to get up and leave the safety of her bed and Grissom. She kissed him and told him to go back to sleep as she got ready for work. She really wasn't looking forward to another day with Ronnie.

Sara was learning to deal with being on a different shift. She sighed as she got in the shower.

Grissom tried to go back to sleep, but to no avail. He decided to join Sara in the shower and then he would work on the bee project.

She jumped when she heard the shower door open.

"I thought I'd join you."

"Come on in."

They showered together and then got dressed. He knew there wasn't time for anything else.

Sara kissed him as she headed into work. She took a moment to let the kiss linger. He could taste her and wanted more, but she had to go.

Grissom sat down at the computer to do some research.

He worked on the bee research for a while then made himself some dinner. He was thinking about how to ask Sara to marry him. He was nervous. He didn't know if she would say yes.

He remembered the case they had at a wedding one time. Sara seemed very anti-wedding. He thought she might balk at the idea of getting married because she wanted to maintain her independence. He wanted to make their relationship permanent.

Grissom did what he did best, he thought about it. He didn't come to any conclusions, but he thought about it.

The time wound down and he had to get ready for work. Sara called and she was working a few hours overtime, but not a double.

He walked into the lab and saw her in the layout room just getting her evidence put away.

She smiled at him and continued to work. They did get to see each other at the lab. It was rare that they got to work together anymore though.

Ronnie had not been as annoying tonight. Either that or Sara was getting used to the questions. She really wasn't sure which.

Grissom noticed her mood change lately. She had been more upbeat and seemed less depressed. He was glad. It pained him to see her sad. They did not have as much time together as they used to, but they were making the most of the time they had. He thought she was getting better and so did she.

Grissom pulled a case right at the end of shift with a boy hanging in a tree out at a Lake in the suburbs of Las Vegas. It looked like he was working a double today.

Grissom went back to the lab to be present at the autopsy. This was a strange case. The victim had lacerations on his chest. He suffered from Gynecomastia. At first they thought it was a case of the transsexual but the results showed something else was going on.

Sara had pulled a case of human remains found in the construction site of a new casino. Catherine had to hand it off because it was her father's casino and even though he was dead, she could not work the case. Ronnie talked incessantly during the case. She talked about why she chose forensics as a career.

"In college, I wanted to an archeologist, until I did a summer dig in Tunisia. Hot. But that got me into forensics. What made you pick Vegas?"

Sara thought for a moment about how to answer that question. She really didn't want to share she came here for a man who, at the time, did not feel he could have a relationship with her.

"Well, it…uh…it kind of picked me."

It was an honest answer, but did not give too much away.

She remembered that phone call from Grissom saying he needed her. Without even a thought she hopped on a plane and flew out Vegas. It seemed natural. They solved the case and he invited her to stay on a permanent basis. But that invitation had ended the idea of a personal relationship. There were rules. It took Grissom 5 years to break those rules and now they were on different shifts.

The discovery of what appeared to be Native American remains brought the investigation to a halt. Sara had protocol to follow. She called the necessary people to ascertain if the remains they found where Native American. She went to the autopsy. Doc Robbins informed her that the remains could be Native American, but they were not ancient. The teeth had cavities in them. She was hoping that Vegas would have to honor its past. In any case she still had a body to identify and a case to solve. She got to work. Greg came in and offered his help. He thought it might be good for the book he was writing on the history of Vegas. He was off the clock and would help her with her case. She took him up on the offer. It was good to work with him again. They had always worked well together.

They knew who the skeleton was not, now the needed to find out who he was.

Sara had an idea but she would need some help.

The person she turned to for help was Hodges.

Grissom got home that day about 2 in the afternoon. Sara was still asleep. He decided to let her sleep and donned his bee keeper's hat to work on the bee hive. He left her a note to tell her where he was.

Sara woke about thirty minutes later. She read the note Grissom left her and got an idea. She donned her bee keepers suit and when down to the enclosure.

He heard the gate open. He saw her walking in wearing her bee keeper's suit and the hood. He smiled.

"Oh, I love it when you dress up."

Sara laughed.

"Well, you know whatever it takes to get some time with you. How's the study going? Any sign of Colony Collapse Disorder?"

"Nope, so far it's healthy"

Grissom smoked the bees

"Nothing too healthy about smoking."

He put the smoker down.

"Well, the scent confuses the guard bees. They won't emit the pheromone that tells the colony there's an intruder."

Grissom opened the hive to show her the frames inside.

Sara teased him. "Oh, don't worry he's harmless."

He smiled and took out a frame to show her.

She was interested, "Who's who?"

He pointed, "These are the workers…infertile females."

"They don't sting?"

She didn't really like bees and she really didn't like getting stung.

"No, not unless you swat on, or close one up in your hand, or freak out. Go ahead take off your glove."

She was hesitant, but she complied.

"Eh… alright I trust you."

She took of her glove as Grissom shook the bee frame. A bee landed on Sara's hand.

"See, it's cool." He smiled at her.

Sara smiled as she watched the bee walk along the back of her hand. He was glad she was enjoying the experience.

Grissom was suddenly overwhelmed by a thought. He got up the nerve to blurt out what he had been spending weeks thinking about. There was no time like the present.

"You know, maybe we should get married."

There was stunned silence. Sara could hardly believe what he just said. All of the sudden the bee stung her hand.

"Oh, oh….ow."

Grissom picked up the smoker and used it on the bees.

Sara smiled at him. She started to pick out the stinger.

He stopped her, "No, no, don't, don't pick it out. Makes it worse, releases the venom into the bloodstream. It's better to scrape it."

He gently took her hand and opened his pocketknife. He started to scrape the stinger from Sara's hand. He worked intently for a moment. She hadn't answered his question. He knew he didn't ask the way he wanted to. He'd wanted to do it right, but he didn't. He'd meant it when he asked her. Then he thought about it. He really hadn't asked her. He's just said they should get married. Now he was nervous. Sara stared at him as he worked on the sting.

She hardly knew what to say.

He stammered out, "So, uh…what to you think, you know, about…"

He was serious! Her face burst forth in a huge smile.

"Yes. Let's do it."

"Yeah?"

He stared at her for a moment and then leaned forward to kiss her. They bumped masks and laughed.

He pulled her toward the gate. Once they were clear of it, he took her mask off then his.

He took her face in his hands gently.

"Sara. I know that was not how you imagined your proposal, but I meant it. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone and I want to marry you. Would you do me the honor of being my wife?"

She felt the tears roll down her cheeks.

Only one word popped into her head, "Yes!"

This time he tenderly kissed her. He didn't care who saw them at this point.

"Thank you."

She laughed, "For what?"

"For saying yes, for loving me, for putting up with the bees."

She kissed him.

"Thank you for asking. I know I have been anti-wedding in the past. But I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

He leaned in and kissed her again.

They went up to their townhouse. He got her in the door and began taking her suit off of her. He obliged him readily.

"If I'd have known this suit would turn you on like this, I would have gotten one years ago."

He smiled as he kissed her again once he had her out of the white suit. She unzipped the coveralls he was wearing. She pulled his shirt over his head.

His lips found hers again. They were engaged! She would be his forever. He'd long ago given up on the idea of being married, but then came Sara.

His hands found the intimate places on her body. He kissed the side of her neck and down her collar bone. She responded with kisses of her own. They had been together long enough to know how to entice each other. This they were good at. Grissom wanted nothing more than to be with Sara right now. He kissed her. She parted her lips and granted him access to her mouth.

Grissom pulled her along to the bed room. A trail of clothes was strewn along the way. When they go there, Grissom gently picked up Sara and placed her on the bed. She felt the bed dip under his weight as he joined her. He laid down on top of her, his body covering hers.

"I love you, Sara."

"I know, and I love you, too."

He sought out her lips again. His hands were on her body. He started with her shoulders and ran his hands down her abdomen. She shuttered from the sensation. His hands were setting her on fire. She wanted more now, but Grissom had other ideas. He wanted this moment to last. They had been through so much in the past months.

He trailed kisses down her body until he reached her navel. She pulled him back up and kissed him again. He dipped a finger into her folds. She thought she was going to explode from the sensation. Grissom slowly slipped inside her. They both moaned from the feeling of it. He slowly began to move inside her. He kissed her neck and her breasts as she lost herself in him. Right now there was nobody but the two of them. It was not the first time they had made love, not even close. But, it was an amazing experience for them both. They were engaged.

Sara could feel herself going over the edge. Grissom was not far behind her.

One last thrust and he came, calling out her name as he did. They laid there together for a few minutes. Neither wanted the moment to end. They were alone in their space and nobody was there in interrupt. They were happy and sated.

Sara kissed him and said, "I don't want to go back to work. I want to stay here with you forever."

"I know, but I think they will come looking for us if we don't show up. Catherine would just love to snoop around here."

Sara laughed. She knew Catherine wanted details, the how and when of their relationship. Neither felt compelled to give her any information and it frustrated the hell out of Catherine.

She laid there making lazy circles with her hand on his chest. She propped herself up on one elbow.

"Gil, when should we get married?"

He hadn't thought about the details beyond the asking. He didn't care really as long as they got married. They could run away or stand up in the biggest church in Vegas. All he wanted was to marry Sara. She could have whatever kind of wedding she wanted.

"When do you want to get married? Do you want to invite anyone?"

Sara was quiet for a moment. She didn't want to do the Vegas wedding thing. She had never given much thought to a wedding. She had always been anti-wedding. They had discussed it before. She was not against the idea of getting married; she just didn't need the whole wedding thing.

"I want something small. I don't want to go to a wedding chapel though. I want to get married outside. Just you and me and maybe the team."

"You can have whatever you want, Dear."

She smiled a salacious smile at him.

"Anything?"

He returned the smile, knowing what she had in mind.

"Yes, anything."

"Then I want…ice cream."

He burst out laughing.

"You want ice cream?"

She nodded.

"Well, I said anything didn't I?"

She smiled and nodded again.

"Your wish is my command." He kissed her.

"Oh, I'm not done."

He looked at her confused.

"I want chocolate mint chip with hot fudge and nuts and lots of whipped cream."

He laughed.

It was good to see this change in her. It gave him hope that she was getting better.

She looked happy. The haunted look of the past months was gone. Sara smiled at him again…that Sidle smile that melted his heart and ignited his loins. He would give her anything she wanted to see that smile again. If she wanted an ice cream sundae then she would have it.

He kissed her and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?"

"To the store. Your wish was ice cream. We don't have any. I'll be right back. Keep the bed warm."

She hadn't expected him to go now.

He was dressed and gone in a few minutes.

Sara waited for his return.

She felt truly happy at that moment. She thought just maybe the ghosts were gone…finally. The nagging doubt and fear she had lived with all of her life hopefully were gone. She really hoped they were.

Grissom returned about thirty minutes later. He had gotten what she wanted and fixed a sundae big enough for them to share. He came walking into the bedroom with a huge bowl filled with the sundae. It even had a cherry on top.

Sara stared at it and laughed.

"I can't eat all that."

"I'll share it with you."

He produced two spoons and gave her one. He clinked his spoon against hers, "Cheers, my Dear."

They dug in and shared the sundae.

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Sara was walking down the hall of the lab when Hodges came out to tell her what he had discovered.

"Hi, Sara. You look like you're having a good day."

"Thanks."

If he only knew she thought.

Hodges handed Sara the results.

"Got your isotope results."

She read what it said.

"My John Doe lived in Southeast Asia?"

"Yeah…uh…more specifically, southern Vietnam. Like I said, this test only dates back to the last three years of his life."

"In '64…soldier? Consultant, refugee? Thanks. Hum."

She started to walk away.

"Let me know if you get an ID. It'd be a great touch for the article."

Sara continued to look into who this man could be.

She walked into the break room. There she found Greg talking to Catherine's mother Lily.

Sara said, "Hi, Lily."

With sympathy Lily said, "Hi."

Sara wanted to change the subject. She hated being treated differently because of what happened. It was like when she was a child and her mother had killed her father. It was the same look of pity. She hated that. She knew people meant well, but all she wanted was to be normal.

"Uh, Wendy ran that tooth, Pre-CODIS, but the DNA confirms that our John Doe was a Native American, so it was one Indian's burial ground."

Lily spoke up, "There was a reporter and I pretty sure he was an Indian."

She stopped and thought for a moment.

'Lee George. He'd just come back from Vietnam for Life magazine and he was doing a piece on Vegas."

Greg interrupted, "Do remember if he was at the party?"

"Yeah, in this little Indian costume… bracelets on his biceps, and boy, did he have biceps. Trust me. If anybody hurt him, it was Benny Dunbar, Sam's bodyguard. That lump in his jacket ain't a heart full of love."

Sara sighed, "Either Benny tossed him or he jumped, we'll never know."

Greg picked up his hat, "This is great stuff for my book."

Sara was shocked, "Your what?"

"Oh, this little piece on Vegas history…stories that didn't make the papers."

Lily chirped, "Honey, if you need to know anything, just ask me. I was there."

"Well, how about if I take you to dinner tonight? A bottle and a bird. We'll talk about the Peking Pimp."

They walked out of the room arm in arm.

Lily relished telling what she knew.

"Eddie Chang. They shipped him home in pieces."

Sara shook her head and went to write her report. They had found out his identity, but they would never know for sure how he died. At least it was something.

Hodges was right she was having a good day. The best day she had had in a long time.

Grissom sat in his office thinking about the events of the past day. He'd finally gotten the courage to ask Sara to marry him. It just seemed natural. He was lost in thought staring at a magazine not really reading. He was thinking about how he and Sara had spent the afternoon when Catherine stepped into his doorway.

"Hey, what are you up to?"

His head snapped up as she pulled him out of the memory he was reliving.

"Nothing. Why?" He felt a little guilty. He didn't usually get lost in such thoughts at work.

Catherine looked at the cooler she was pushing on a cart.

Grissom stood up. She had piqued is curiosity and he did not want her to further question him about what he was doing.

"What's in the cooler?"

She opened it, "Carp. Paul Cyden died holding one. He had a freezer full of them, some kind of experiment."

"Huh."

Now he was really interested. He walked over to where she was.

"I can process those fish if you like."

"Do I know how to turn you on or what?"

Grissom nearly choked, but managed not to react.

"I'll let you know what I find."

"Thanks."

Nick found Grissom and reported that Brian Towne had committed suicide. He had inflicted the wounds on himself and then hung himself it the tree.

As he processed the fish, Grissom discovered that the water was the source of the contamination that had caused Brian Towne to become ill and the fish to develop both male and female sex organs. They discovered that Paul Cyden was working on getting the water cleaned up. The lake around the area was leaching into the water supply and causing the drinking supply to be contaminated.

They were not able to do much about it though. It would take years of litigation and the District Attorney was not willing to do much about Paul Cyden's death. The DA was not going to press charges against Lynn Towne, who had shot him because she thought he had corrupted her son. It turned out that he was trying to help him. Cyden was going to blow the whistle when he was shot.

Catherine did not like the situation one bit. It was a hard pill to swallow that nothing would be done. Brian's death was a suicide, the mother was going to get away with killing Paul Cyden and the water company was going to get away with continuing to dispense contaminated water. There was nothing good about this situation. She even threatened to go to the papers to get the news out there about the water. Grissom talked her out of that.

Grissom walked in the door at home to find Sara asleep on the couch. He leaned down and kissed her.

She stirred, "Oh, hi. Sorry I fell asleep. I didn't get much sleep."

"It's okay. I just got home."

Sara sat up and stretched.

"I hate being on different shifts."

"I know… me, too."

He sat down next to her and pulled her close.

She kissed him.

"I'm glad you didn't have to work a double today."

"Me, too…want to go to bed?"

"Gilbert, did you not get enough yesterday?"

He kissed her neck, "I'll never get enough of you."

He stood up and offered her his hand. She smiled a huge grin at him as she placed her hand in his and followed him to the bedroom.

**A/N:**

**Please leave a review….We all know what is coming. Trust me…they will still be together. It's my story. I can do whatever I want to. Ah, the joys of Fan Fiction.**


	52. Chapter 52

**A/N: T****hanks for reading. I appreciate it. I am without a beta for this one. It does contain dialogue from Chick Chop Flick Shop. Yeah, it's a stupid title. I felt really bad for Sara in this one. It took me a long time to like this one.**

The days passed. They had not talked much more about the wedding. They had decided not to tell their friends for now. Grissom wanted to get Sara a ring but she insisted that for now she didn't want or need one. She couldn't wear it at work anyway.

Grissom hoped she was not changing her mind. She assured him she hadn't changed her mind. She wanted to marry him more than she had wanted anything else in her life.

Life and work got in the way of making plans. There never seemed to be enough help. It was frustrating for Sara. She didn't feel like she was making a difference anymore.

Her good mood of the past weeks began to ebb again. Her darker mood returned as did her dreams. She did not have Grissom there to sooth her while she slept. It made sleeping difficult. The dreams from her past returned in flashes of her father's stabbing, her days in foster care, the beatings of both her and her mother. It was happening more frequently now.

She didn't tell Grissom. She didn't want to worry him. On the rare occasions they did get to sleep together, she slept well. He did not know how bad it was getting. She quieted her dreams by making love to Grissom.

He knew she was not resting well, but she would put him off about it when he asked. She was the master at doing that. He should have pushed her more, but he didn't want to hurt her.

When they were together, he spent the time making love to her and holding her. Their time was precious and he did not want to waste it.

Sara felt more and more isolated from her friends. Swing shift had welcomed her, but it was not the same. The easy working style of the Graveyard Shift was absent. It would take time she told herself. Once in a while she would work a double and get to work with them. It was a rare treat. She used to hate working a double, now she looked forward to them. It was a chance to work with her friends and it was a way to avoid sleeping and the dreams.

Work had been mundane for the past few weeks. Sara had graduated from the sling on her arm to the brace and now did not need anything. It ached once in a while, but for the most part the outward signs of her ordeal in the desert were gone now. She wished the inner ones were gone as well. She so desperately wanted to get better and put her past behind her. If the truth be told it was getting harder not easier. She put on a brave face and told no one.

Nick had caught an interesting case with the death of a Horror movie cult star. She had died on the set of her latest movie. The crime scene was huge and Catherine borrowed Ronnie to help. Catherine said it would be a good learning experience for her. Sara though in truth that Catherine knew Sara needed a break from the incessant questions she asked and Catherine decided to try to help. Sara spent the time working in the lab on her latest case. It was a hit and run. She needed to run the tire prints.

Ronnie came in.

"Sara, Catherine needs some help on her case. She wanted me to ask you if it was okay that I helped her."

"Uh…sure go ahead. Should be a good learning experience for you."

"Thanks." And she was gone again.

Grissom came in looking for Sara a few minutes later.

"Hi, there."

She looked up from what she was doing.

"Oh, hey."

"You want to go get some dinner?"

She smiled.

She could think of nothing she'd rather do.

"Yes, I'd love that.'

"Come on. I have paperwork to work on later, but I wanted to take you to dinner."

He came over and took her by the hand and walked her to his car. It still seemed strange for him to touch her in the lab like that. They had spent so much time hiding. Now they didn't have to.

"Where do you want to eat, Sara?"

"How about the deli?"

She knew it was one of his favorites. He nodded.

Since it was late for dinner they didn't have trouble finding a parking spot.

They ordered their dinner and found a booth to sit in.

"How's your case going?" He asked her.

"We don't have much to go on. I don't think we are going to solve this one."

She seemed deflated.

"Sorry to hear that. I'm not having much more luck on my case. Is it me or are the criminals getting smarter?"

She smiled an ironic smile. She had wondered the same thing a few days ago.

"Where is Ronnie tonight?"

"Catherine needed her to help with her case. I was glad for the break. I know she's young and just learning, but the constant questions are driving me nuts."

Grissom chuckled.

"I know. Sara, you are doing a good job training her."

"I had a good teacher." She took his hand and squeezed it.

She smiled at him. Grissom had taught her and she was using some the same methods he had used with her. She wondered how Grissom had had the patience for teaching. She was not sure she did.

"Thanks, that's high praise from you."

"I merely speak the truth."

The waitress came with their dinner.

"Thank you." They said as she put their plates down.

"Gil, how come you came in so early?"

"Like I said, I wanted to take you out to dinner. We don't get to see each other as much and I miss you."

It was the sad truth of their life now. Damn Ecklie and his rules.

"Hey, where'd you go?" He asked her as she stared off in the distance.

"Oh, I was just wishing Ecklie a fiery death."

"I have done that on many occasions myself."

Sara spoke what was in her head.

"Did we ever do anything unprofessional at work in the two years he didn't know?"

Grissom shook his head.

She continued, "I think he did it out of spite. He finally got something he could use against us and he took the chance."

Grissom couldn't argue with her. Not after their conversation he had with Ecklie before Sara returned. There had been a way around it, but Ecklie chose not to let Sara stay on Graveyard and have Catherine do her evaluations. It was punishment for past transgressions as well as this one. Grissom also thought Ecklie was just a bit pissed that they had managed to pull the wool over his eyes for two years.

He decided to change the subject as she saw some strangely dressed characters walking down the street.

"I thought Halloween was last week."

"Yeah, I can't tell anymore. This town gets even weirder every year."

He chuckled again. It was true. He remembered the days of his youth in California. The only place that might get weirder than Las Vegas at Halloween was Hollywood. Hollywood

"How's your dinner?" He asked her since she wasn't eating much.

"Oh, it's fine. I'm just not very hungry these days."

He had noticed that she hadn't been eating and that she was losing weight again. She was too thin. He wanted her healthy and well. He didn't express his worries for fear of upsetting her. He knew how she felt about people fussing over her and worrying about her.

'Hey, you know I love you right?"

She looked at him. I was one thing she never doubted. She had given up that worry a long time ago.

"I never doubt that, Gil. Sometimes it's what keeps me going."

He thought that was a strange comment, but at least she was talking.

She changed the subject this time.

"Did you hear where Nick and Catherine's case was?"

He shook his head as he ate.

"They are on the set of a horror movie production company. Kind of fitting for this time of year, don't ya think?"

"I've never been a horror movie fan."

"Me either, really."

"You almost finished?" Grissom asked her noticing she had eaten very little.

"I'm just not that hungry I guess."

"Are you feeling alright, Sara?"

She lied, "Yeah, just adjusting still I guess. It's hard to come off Graveyard and get used to being awake during the day." _It's even harder getting used to not sleeping with you next to me all the time _she thought.

"Is that the only reason? You seem sad lately."

"I just miss working with you and the rest of the team."

He was sure there was more to it than that, but he didn't want to push her here in the restaurant. It was not the place to get into it.

He didn't push her any further.

She was glad he didn't ask any more questions. It was getting harder to lie to him. She didn't want to burden him with her issues. She would work through them and then they could get married and she could have everything she wanted when she was a child. She was so close to having what she wanted. She just needed to quiet the ghosts in her head. It was the last thing she needed to do.

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Ronnie came bounding into the locker room.

"Sara, you have to come see this."

"What."

"Wendy is a movie star."

"What are you talking about?"

"Just come see. Hurry, they are gonna start."

Sara sighed and walked with Ronnie to the break room.

There was a group huddled around the TV and a DVD was playing. Wendy was walking down a hallway.

She opens a door and a man with a chainsaw cuts her in half.

Henry laughed, "Oh, my God. No way."

Hodges was speechless.

Sara could not watch and closed her eyes. It was always the dark haired girl that got killed.

Henry continued, "That is so cool. I can't believe you worked for Repulsion Pictures."

Wendy explained, "Well, I did it on a whim. I was supposed to be an extra, but then they liked me, so they gave me this whole featured bit. I got 600 bucks for that. What? What? I was fresh out of college. I really needed the money."

Ronnie was not as impressed, I don't get it…what's the thrill here? It's always hot babes with huge breasts falling out of their shirts, getting hacked up…"

"I don't have huge breasts. Mine are kind of….medium."

Mindlessly Hodges said, "But perfect…"

Wendy glared at him.

He finished that comment, "….ly adequate. Better, in fact."

Hodges turned to Sara who had sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Ok, Uh, I'm out of here."

She couldn't take it anymore and she left.

Henry said, "Hey, let's watch it again."

Sara went to the locker room again.

Greg walked by and saw Sara sitting there alone and not moving.

He came in to talk to her. He knew her well enough to know that something was wrong.

"What's up?"

"You know, in the slasher movies, when they go after the dark-haired girl she always dies?"

He walked in continued the conversation. She was not herself. She hadn't been lately.

"Yeah. And the blonde always lives." He sat down next to her. He knew what she was thinking about. "Aren't you glad it wasn't a movie?"

Sara laughed at the irony. She wasn't so sure anymore. Maybe she had lost something out there in the desert.

"I think, um…I think I am sick of having my face shoved in death every day. The murder rate has gone up every year since I've been here. It's totally out of control, and…we're not eve slowing them down."

Greg didn't know what to say to her. It was obvious Sara was hurting, but he didn't know how to help her.

He took her hand and repeated the words he had heard Grissom say.

"We do what we can, Sara. We are helping."

"I guess it's just not enough anymore."

She stood up and started to walk out of the room.

She turned to Greg before she did.

"Thanks, Greg. I know you're trying to help. I'm just not sure anything can help my anymore."

It was a strange comment. He didn't know what to make of it.

She was gone before he could formulate a response.

He walked to Grissom's office and knocked on the door.

Grissom looked up and beckoned him to come in.

"Hey, Griss."

"What's up Greg?"

"Is everything okay with Sara? She seems so sad lately. We just had the strangest conversation. I'm worried about her.

_Me too_.

"I think she's just tired and she is still adjusting. I appreciate you looking out for her though, Greg."

"Okay, I just wanted t check on her."

"I know, and thanks, Greg."

Greg nodded as he left Grissom's office.

Grissom let out a sigh. He knew Sara was not alright, but he did not know what to do to help her.

Sara went back to work after talking to Greg in the locker room. Grissom found her in the layout room looking at the photos from her case. He just watched her for a moment before he stepped into the room and spoke to her. She still had the ability to take his breath away. He could watch her for hours.

"Hey, whatcha working on?"

"The Henderson case. We caught a break and finally have enough for the DA to press charges. I was just going over everything to make sure it's airtight."

He walked over and looked at the photos with her.

"Is it?"

She nodded as she began picking everything up.

"There is enough here for a conviction. The husband shot the wife and the lover in the car when he found them together."

"Sara…"

She looked at him. That haunted look was back.

"Yeah?"

"I…I'm….are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

Those words again. He had learned over the years that those words were her cover. She was not fine, but she didn't want to talk about it.

"I'm here if you want to talk."

He'd also learned over the years not to push her too hard. He had only done that once. It was at that time she confessed to him about her past and her relationship with her parents. It had been a painful confession for her. He wasn't sure she was up to that right now.

"Thanks, Gil. I'm done here, so I am going to go home."

"Okay. It's your night off right?"

"Yeah, what about you?"

"Mine too. I just have to finish some paper work and I will be home. Want to go do something."

"Sure."

"Okay. I will see you in about an hour and a half then?"

"Yep."

"Hey, Sara?"

She turned to look at him.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

He had never said that before in the middle of the lab, but then they didn't have to hide anymore.

**A/N:**

**I wanted to get this out before I went on vacation. Thanks for reading. I will be working on more. Please leave a review. **


	53. Chapter 53

**A/N: I am sorry it has been sooo long since I updated. I had a really hard time writing this one. I made it extra long since you had to wait. I hope you enjoy.**

**There is dialogue from Who and What in this one. I loved Jack Malone and Grissom together. They were like the Grumpy Old Men...but better looking. **

Having a day off together was a rarity for Grissom and Sara. She had worked a double to finish her case and Grissom was bound and determined to get off as close to on time as he could. He rushed through his paper work and met Sara at home.

She was in the kitchen listening to her iPod and cutting up fruit for breakfast when he came in the door. Her hair was still wet from her shower. It formed curls that she didn't bother to straighten. He loved her curls. He watched her for a moment. The simplest things she did captivated him. She was singing as she cut up the fruit. Grissom had always loved to hear her sing. He missed that of late.

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

She jumped.

"Gil, you scared me."

He pulled back a bit.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"It's okay. I just didn't hear you coming."

She had been very jumpy since her abduction.

"You were listening to music. I wasn't trying to sneak up on you."

Sara pulled him close and kissed him.

"I know."

Grissom wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back.

"I love you, Sara."

Sara noticed he had been saying that more and more often.

"I know you do."

He changed the subject.

"So, what's for breakfast?"

"Yogurt, fruit, and toast."

"Sounds good. What do you want to do today?"

"Well, I thought we could sleep for a while. I'm tired and then maybe a drive."

"Where do you want to go?"

"Any where away from the city. I just want to be with you."

Grissom pulled her closer and kissed her forehead.

"Sounds good to me, dear."

Sara was tired. It was more than having worked a double though. She was tired of death and the horrible things people did to one another. Running away to an island sounded good. Just her and Grissom; no death, no destruction. She was tired of gruesome scenes. She wanted to see life and beauty.

He held her for a few minutes before she began to speak.

"We should eat."

He let go and sat down at the table with her. They ate in relative quiet.

When they were done he offered to clean up. Sara waited for him in the bedroom.

Grissom walked in to find her sitting on the bed. She was lost in though.

"Sara, are you alright?"

He found himself saying that a lot lately. In truth he was really worried about her. She was not talking to him or anyone about what was bothering her. He knew she was not fine even though she insisted she was.

"I'm fine."

"No, Sara, you're not. Please talk to me. I'm worried about you."

He knelt on the floor in front of her.

She didn't say anything.

"Sara, talk to me, please."

"I can't."

He felt as though he was losing her.

"If you can't talk to me then talk to someone."

He wasn't going to bring up talking to her mother again. It would do no good until she was ready to do it.

"I…"

"Sara, please."

He knew the signs of burn out and she was exhibiting them. But there was more to it than that. This ran deeper than just burn out from the job. Something had changed in the desert that night.

"Gil, please, don't push me. I just need you to…"

"What? What do you need?"

"I don't know that's the problem."

Tears began to well in her eyes. It was getting harder and harder to hide them. She wanted to tell him what was wrong, but to do that she needed to figure out what was wrong.

He pulled her close and held her. He kissed the top of her head and reassured her that he loved her.

She felt out of control, like her life was a tilt-a-whirl. She was no longer in charge. The voices from the past were haunting her more and more. It was easier to hide the nightmares when he was gone. She didn't sleep when he was home much. It prevented dreaming.

Grissom tried to get her to sleep, but she avoided it by making love to him. She needed to feel connected to him. They finally slept for a few hours before they went on their drive. Sara was tired enough to not dream. She was grateful for that.

Grissom woke first and just watched her sleep. She woke up to blue eyes staring at her.

"Feel better?" he asked.

"A little, yes."

It was the truth. She did feel better.

"Good."

He kissed her.

"Let's get going. We have a long drive ahead of us."

She was interested now.

"Where are we going?"

"The mountains, remember?"

"Oh, yeah."

Grissom packed a picnic basket for them and they headed off for a drive.

Sara was quiet at first.

"Sara?"

She turned to look at him.

"Where would you like to go?"

"I don't care, just away from the City."

They took a drive up through the mountains. It was relaxing to get away from the city. It was nice to see something besides desert. Sara often forgot that the mountains were so close to Vegas. The desert seemed to consume everything. It threatened to consume her if she let it. In truth it was getting harder to fight it.

She sighed.

Grissom turned to look at her.

"What's up, Sara?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just so beautiful up here. I forget that this is so close to Vegas."

He took her hand and kissed her palm.

"Are you getting hungry?"

"Not really."

Grissom noticed she had not been eating much. She had lost weight.

"I could eat a horse right now."

Sara laughed slightly.

"Oh, sorry, about the meat comment."

"It's okay. Let's find somewhere to eat and get you fed. We don't want you dying of hunger now do we?"

Grissom chuckled, "No, we don't."

They saw a small café in one of the towns and decided to stop. The food was good but the company was quiet. Sara seemed to get lost in thought easily these days. It was hard for her to concentrate.

"Sara?"

She turned to look at him. His eyes were full of questions. He desperately wanted to understand what was happening to her. She could not answer those questions because she did not know the answers. Her life seemed to be spinning out of control and the harder she tried to stop it the worse it became.

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

Grissom understood getting lost in thought he did it all the time.

"About what?"

"About how I miss the ocean."

Just then Grissom's cell phone rang. It was Brass. They had a case they needed Grissom for. The FBI was involved and they needed Grissom there.

"Damn it." Grissom whispered as he shut his phone.

"Work?"

"Yeah, the FBI is being called in and they need me to come to the scene right away. I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's the job. Let's head back. It will take a couple of hours to drive back."

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Grissom dropped Sara off at home and headed to the lab to pick up his Denali. When he got to the scene, Grissom was surprised to see his team waiting outside the house doing nothing.

The answer he got was that the FBI had ordered them to stop working until they got there. That was 6 hours ago. Grissom was angry that his team had been tied up for that long with nothing to do.

The house they were in began to shake as a helicopter landed in the street.

David Phillips walked in with the FBI agent. Greg was still taking pictures, which was all he was allowed to do at the moment.

The FBI agent asked Greg if he had enough pictures.

"You…you get enough photos"

Greg answered, "Definitely." Since that was all he was allowed to do for hours, this was a well documented crime scene.

Grissom and Catherine watched as the FBI agent took over the scene.

He asked David to roll the body of the boy over so he could see him.

David did. Grissom had had enough. He wanted to know what was going on.

"What's going on?" he demanded.

The FBI agent introduced himself, "Jack Malone, FBI. New York City."

He handed them a picture of a much younger boy.

"This boy was kidnapped from his babysitter's apartment six years ago. The babysitter was killed. The only evidence at the crime scene was a bloody palm print."

Catherine looked at the picture, "Well, there may be a resemblance, but kids change a lot in six years."

"Mmhmm." Malone acknowledged.

Grissom added, "DNA will tell us if this is your kid. But it does look like your killer came to Vegas."

"Looks like he hit his head on the table."

Malone chimed in, "Or somebody slammed it against the table."

Grissom was never one to jump to conclusions.

"Well, we don't know that yet."

He was getting irritated with this FBI agent. Catherine could sense that and took the FBI agent into the kitchen. Grissom continued to work. He silently thanked Catherine for removing the source of his irritation. When the scene was processed Grissom went back to the lab. It was going to be a double shift today. He sighed.

Grissom called Malone and they went to Autopsy.

Grissom hated cases with kids.

Grissom spoke out loud as he worked, "No birthmarks."

Malone answered, "Our missing boy didn't have any, either."

This was going to be harder than they though.

"So the only way to confirm the identity…"

Malone saw where this was headed, "I've had the original DNA report electronically sent to your lab."

"Well, then you'll just have to wait for your answer. You know, maybe now would be a good time to brief us on the original case."

Malone recounted the evidence to Grissom. They had moved to the evidence room and the rest of the team had joined them.

Grissom was no less irritated with the FBI agent as the briefing went on. He wanted to go home. He was tired. He needed sleep and he needed to see Sara.

She was waiting for him when he came home.

"Hi, bad case?"

He pulled her close and nodded.

"Tell me about it?"

He explained what he had learned.

He also explained about the irritating FBI agent.

Sara tried to suppress a smile. She could just see Grissom and this FBI agent tangling. They had very different styles of working.

"What are you smiling at?"

"I'm sorry. I was just imagining you trying to work with the FBI. I know how well that has gone for you in the past."

"I just want to figure out what happened and if this is the same kid and who killed him."

"I know you do. You look tired. Get some rest. I'll make you something to eat while you take a shower."

He kissed her and headed to the bedroom. He returned a few minutes later to find Sara waiting at the breakfast counter with a sandwich and a glass of juice for him and one for her.

"Thanks, Dear."

"You're welcome. So tell me more about the case."

"We are waiting on DNA to match the kid we found to the missing kid's DNA."

"It's hard to wait I know."

"There isn't anything else we can do."

"You need to sleep before you go back in. I have to leave in a few minutes. Promise me you will rest while I am gone."

"Promise."

He was too tired to do anything else.

She eyed him.

"Really Sara, I will. I'm tired and I have to be to work in 9 hours."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Be careful."

"I will.'

Sara left and Grissom headed to bed.

The sheets were cool and inviting. It did not take him long to fall asleep.

Eight hours later the alarm went off. Grissom was jolted awake. He was still tired, but he needed to go in. He sighed and got ready for work.

There had been many developments while he was gone and it irritated him that he had not been informed of the events.

They had captured who they thought was the suspect, but he turned out not to be. It was his son that had been killed and his ex-girlfriend as well. They were back to square one.

The DNA results came back and they had a link to other murder victims. Grissom was not sure if their job just got harder or easier.

It was going to be another long shift. He resigned himself to that. He hadn't even gotten a chance to see Sara. She had been in the field when he arrived. He went to find her but she was not back yet.

Malone had come to see him about the evidence. There was a pawnshop owner they needed to go see. They had gotten a picture of the suspect from the surveillance tape at the pawnshop but it was a bad image. Archie would have to work on it.

Grissom looked at his watch. It was 1:30 in the afternoon. He had not called Sara. He sighed. They kept missing each other.

Malone and Grissom walked down the hallway discussing the case. Grissom was cranky and not in the mood to deal with the FBI at the moment. He was worried about Sara and he wanted to go home and sleep. This was his second double in a row. This case was not going well.

Grissom headed for his office with Malone on his heels.

"I'll call in some additional AV techs, help Archie get though the footage…"

"All right."

"…But you know, I've learned that sometimes you can go faster by going slow."

"Yeah, well, I like to go faster by going fast. Waiting around is not exactly my best thing."

Grissom was losing patience with Malone.

"I gathered that from your interrogation technique. You know, maybe you should go back to your hotel, take a nap."

"Is this your office? Really? By choice? It's not some kind of…uh…surplus overflow issue?"

That was the last straw for Grissom.

"What's wrong with my office?"

"Oh, I don't know. Uh…why don't you tell me?"

Jack put on his glasses and looked at the pig Grissom had in a glass jar. The FBI agent was slightly taken aback by it.

Grissom explained about Miss Piggy.

"That's an irradiated fetal pig. I use it to determine the effects of radiation on tissue."

"For what?"

Grissom was downright defensive now. How dare this man come in and insult his scientific process. He felt no need to further explain to a man who would never get it.

"For fun" Grissom snarked back at him.

Sara walked in just then. He was relieved to see her for more than one reason. She probably stopped him from throwing Malone out of his office and he was glad just to lay eyes on her.

"Het, Gil, I…uh…oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt."

His voice softened when he spoke to her.

"No, no, it's fine. Jack Malone, FBI. Sara Sidle, CSI."

Sara looked at Malone, "Hello. I hear your abduction case is now a serial murder."

Malone nodded and then eyed Grissom knowingly, "Uh…yeah."

Sara continued a bit uncomfortably, "Well…uh…I got called into work early, but I did pick up Hank and take him to the sitter."

Grissom looked fondly at her, wishing he could do more.

"Thank you. I'll see you when I see you."

It was the sad reality of their relationship now.

Sara turned to Malone, "Pleasure."

He answered, "Hmmm."

Malone then looked at Grissom with an investigator's eye.

"Hank your kid?"

"Hank's my dog. She walks him for me sometimes."

Grissom did not want this man knowing too much about his personal life. It was frankly none of his business.

Malone didn't buy the dog walking bit.

"Oh, yeah, that's how it starts. Oh, I have some experience dating in the workplace."

"Really? And, uh….how'd it work out for you?"

"Undetermined."

Grissom shot him a raised eyebrow look and decided to drop it from there.

A call came in a few minutes later that they might need Grissom at the crime scene Sara was called out to. It looked like it was the same killer they had been chasing. It was an unexpected surprise to work with her.

He explained to Malone what was going on and that he would call him if he got any information that would be helpful. He really didn't want to drag the FBI agent along with him.

Grissom found Sara taking pictures of the living room and the wife's body. They husband had been found in the park by some children playing soccer.

"Hey, Sara."

She looked up not expecting to see Grissom there.

"Hi. What are you doing here?"

"Brass called me because it looks similar to the case I am working with Malone."

"Where's your favorite FBI agent?"

"At his field office. I told him I'd call him with any information I found."

"You look tired."

"I'll be fine."

In truth he was very tired. He wanted to sleep, but the reality was it would be a long time before he would get to sleep.

"Gil, promise me you will get some sleep when you're done here."

"I'll try."

As they worked the scene, they fell into a comfortable routine. They both missed working together.

They had discovered the hammer the suspect had used at the last scene.

Robbins questioned why anyone would leave the murder weapon behind.

Sara found an empty gun case, "Maybe be found something better…Colt .45 auto. Case is empty."

Grissom bagged the hammer and walked over to where Sara was. On the counter and found the credit cards, keys and driver's licenses from the victims.

Grissom was intrigued, "Huh.'

The wallets were empty when he checked.

"He lost the proceeds from the Vegas murders at the Tangiers. So, he probably needed more case."

Doc. Robbins added, "Double murder ATM."

Grissom spoke to Sara, "Driver's license is on top, like before."

Sara said, "He likes to know their names."

Doc. Robbins came up to get some facts from them and report what he knew.

"I heard the husband died at the hospital. But the killer was definitely here awhile. According to liver temp, she died a couple of hours before the husband."

Sara's stomach began to churn.

"So the husband was here and alive while his wife was being raped and killed?"

"It looks that way."

Grissom watched her. She silently go up and walked out of the house. Grissom followed her.

Pensively he spoke to her, "Sara? You okay?"

She answered truthfully, "I don't know. Do you have any idea how he selects his victims?"

"No, He picks houses with no security systems, or dogs. Enters at night when most people are asleep, though open doors or windows. Easy targets."

"So, basically at random."

Grissom nodded but said nothing.

"They were spending a night on the sofa, watching a movie. It's just…uh…It's just wrong."

She walked away to put stuff in her truck. Grissom watched her for a moment. He wanted to run to her and comfort her. He knew she was hurting.

In the background he heard a train whistle. It hit him….there was another similarity….Trains.

He quickly ran toward the sound. Trains were an easy mode of transportation and they carried the bulk fertilizer they found on the victim.

Malone called him for an update, which Grissom gave him.

He went back to the house to find Sara and explain what he was thinking.

He found her finishing up the processing.

"Hey, I think I may have something…a connection?"

"What?"

"Trains."

"Trains?" Sara did not get the connection.

"I have to get back to the lab. You gonna be okay here by yourself?"

"I'll be fine. Get back and catch this guy."

"I'll call you."

He kissed her and was gone.

Sara was a bit stunned. He had never kissed her at a crime scene before.

She watched him drive away and wondered about how his mind worked sometimes. At least it was something to work on.

Sara was back in the lab when Grissom came looking for her.

"We have a lead of sorts. There have been a string of murders along the railroad tracks going back years."

"Do you have a name yet?"

"No, but we are getting closer."

"Good."

She went back to work. She was really hoping he wouldn't bring up what happened earlier today.

"Sara?"

She looked up already knowing what he was going to say.

"Are you sure you're okay? I was worried about you today."

She sighed, "I know. It just got to me today. That could have been us. Watching a movie at home and then you're whole life is just….over."

He nodded. He didn't know what to say to her.

"Let me know what you find out with the suspect. I'm almost done here and I'll go pick up Hank. Are you going to be late tonight?"

"I don't know. I've already worked a double and am starting my third shift. I think I'm too old to do that anymore. I need sleep. We are looking at train routes now. Let me know when you leave. I will go with you. Maybe fresh eyes will help."

"I will."

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Sara finished up and found Grissom asleep at his desk. He was exhausted.

"Gil?"

There was no answer.

"Gil, honey, wake up."

Slowly he woke up and realized he had fallen asleep at his desk.

"Come on, let's to home. I think we could both use some sleep."

He nodded and did not argue with her. He simply did not have the energy.

On the way home Nick called Grissom to tell him they had a lead on who the suspect was calling. Grissom told him to follow up on in and he would talk to him later.

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Grissom had showered and had slept for a few hours when his cell phone rang. He slowly woke up to answer it.

"Grissom"

"Grissom, its Nick."

"It better be important Nick, I was sleeping."

"It is. We tracked down the woman the suspect was calling. We have her name. She is a waitress at the South Point Casino. Her name is Gina Farentino. We have a BOLO out for her car now."

Grissom sighed and looked at the clock. He'd at least gotten four hours sleep.

"I'll be there in a few minutes."

Grissom wearily pulled himself from the bed and got dressed.

Nick filled him in when he got to the lab.

Grissom's phone rang again.

They had found a dead state trooper. The video from his car showed the license plate they were looking for. The man in the car had shot the trooper and had left him there to die.

Catherine had run down the finger prints from the casino to a Terry Lee Wicker. It turned out he was the dead waitress was his ex-wife.

They chased him to the railroad spur but lost him.

It also came out that they had son together. At the moment they had no leads on Wicker or his son.

It was nearing dark when Grissom got back to the lab. Sara was in the middle of her shift.

Grissom spotted her looking at the photos from her case.

"Hey" he said softly from the doorway.

"Hi, what did you find out?"

"It appears the dead waitress was the ex-wife of our suspect and they had a son together. Malone thinks he was here to get his son. The kid is missing."

Sara knew how much missing kids upset Grissom.

"Do you have any leads?"

"Not at the moment. I'm going home to rest until there is something to go on."

"Okay, I will see you there."

She watched him walk away. It was her turn to worry about him. He looked tired and she knew he would not let this one go until they found the child.

Grissom managed to grab about seven hours sleep before his phone rang again. It woke up both him and Sara.

Malone called to say that they had a lead in Hillside, Arizona. Grissom met him at the lab and they headed out.

There they found the remains of a small child in a shallow grave. Malone left Grissom to process that while he left to follow more leads. When those ran out Malone headed back to his main office. There was nothing more he could do in Vegas. Wicker had left with the boy.

Grissom continued to work on the bones of the boy they found in Hillside.

Sara came in to see if he needed help.

"How's it going?"

Grissom sighed, "I don't know a lot yet. It's clear the body has been in the ground a long time. It can't be Kobe. That is all I really know right now. We are comparing DNA results right now, but will take a while longer. I called Malone. He wants the evidence sent to New York ASAP."

Grissom gave her a look she knew well. He was unsure of what to do.

She sighed, "You want to go there, don't you?"

He nodded but said nothing. He wanted to see this case through, but he didn't want to leave Sara right now. He knew how fragile she was.

"I…need to see this one through."

"I know you do, so go."

"Are you sure?"

"Gil, I know you and you can't let this one go. You need to go. Maybe you can help them find this boy and give some other family peace. At least they will know what happened to their son."

He walked over to her and took her hand. He kissed the palm.

She fought back the tears as she looked at him.

"Go, with my blessing. I'll be here when you get back."

"Thank you."

He left to make the arrangements.

Sara wasn't sure if she was strong enough to make it alone, but she knew Grissom had to do this. He would only be gone a few days at the most.

She took him to the airport a few hours later with the evidence in tow.

"I'll call you as soon as I get there."

She nodded. If she spoke she knew she'd cry.

"Hey, you sure you're okay with this?"

"Go, do what you need to do." Her voice cracked as she said it.

Grissom pulled her in and kissed her.

"I love you and I will be back in a few days."

"I know."

"It's just…" She couldn't finish her thought.

"What?"

"I haven't been alone without you since…you know."

He feared as much.

"Maybe I shouldn't go."

"No, you need to do this. It would be worse if you didn't catch this guy because you stayed here for me."

He nodded. Now he was torn. Either way he would hurt Sara. She finally convinced him that it would be better if he solved the case and stopped anyone else from dying at the hands of this man.

"I love you." He kissed her one more time before he boarded the plane.

"I love you, too."

She watched him disappear down the walkway and then watched as his plane took off.

She stayed at the airport for a long time after his plane left.

It was the ringing of her cell phone that finally got her attention.

"Sidle"

"You doing okay?" It was Brass.

"No, but I'll make it."

"Want to have dinner with me? I know I'm a poor substitute, but at least you won't have to eat alone."

She smiled, "I'd love to have dinner with you."

She did not know that Grissom had called Brass and asked him to take care of Sara for him while he was gone.

**Please leave a review. I may get around to posting sooner.**


	54. Chapter 54

**Okay, I know it has been forever since I updated this story, but I got high behind and got three chapters done. Well actually I got one done and split it into three nice sized chapters. I will post them quickly over the next few days. I am so sorry for the delay. This was just really hard to write. Maybe it was the news that Sara is coming back that took away some of the angst for me. Anywhoo… read and enjoy. There is just a bit of smut in this one. **

**Same old disclaimers: don't own them wish I did blah blah blah.**

Grissom landed in New York six hours after his flight took off. He was tired and wanted to rest. There were things to do before that though. First and foremost was to call Sara. He felt awful leaving her, but he needed to see this case through. Brass would watch over her for him.

He dialed her cell.

She answered, "Hi, honey. How was the flight?"

"Uneventful."

She laughed, "Good."

"How are you?"

"Good, I miss you already, but Brass took me out to dinner before shift."

"Good. I miss you too."

"Have you been to the FBI yet?"

"Nope, I called you first."

She smiled, "I feel honored."

"You are more important to me than anyone, Sara."

She fought back tears at that comment. She was determined not to cry though. If she did, she knew Grissom would regret leaving. She wanted him to solve this crime, she really did.

"Thanks." She managed to get out in a normal tone.

"I'm still waiting for the cases to come off the plane. They were labeled special handling. I have to wait until everything else is off the plane. I have a van waiting for me to transport everything over to the FBI."

"You sound tired. Did you get any rest on the plane?"

"No, I spent the flight reviewing the case file."

He didn't add that he spent a great deal of time worrying about her during the flight as well.

"Well, get some rest."

"I will. I'm going to take the stuff to the lab and then rest. I'll call you later once I am settled in the hotel."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too, dear."

They hung up as Grissom saw his evidence being wheeled out to the luggage area. He had the rental van waiting for him. The baggage handler was nice enough to help Grissom get it loaded and then he went to the FBI office. They were surprised to see him in person. True to his word he dropped off the cases and got settled in the hotel for a few hours sleep.

He called Sara when he woke up.

"Hi, I got a few hours sleep just like I promised."

"Good. You sound better."

"I am. I'm headed to the FBI lab to do some work."

"Okay. Brass is taking me to lunch today."

"Sounds like he's taking good care of you."

"He is. You didn't have to put him up to that you know."

"I didn't."

"Gilbert you are not a good liar."

"Sorry. I just wanted to be sure you were doing okay. So sue me."

She chuckled.

"You are forgiven."

"I love you."

"I know you do."

"I have to run. Call me when later."

"I will."

"Bye, honey. I love you."

"Love you too."

He hung up and headed back to the lab.

It was great to work in the FBI lab. He would never admit it, but it was cool.

They managed to run down some clues and find the suspect. They also managed to find the boy alive. It was a good trip. Grissom also proved that the bones were those of the boy that was taken six years before.

Malone pulled his car over in the front of the boy's parent's house. It had not changed much in six years.

The two of them sat there talking for a few minutes. They had come to respect and understand each other.

They came at what they did from totally different perspectives, but in the end they had the same goal.

Malone went in to talk to the missing boy's parents while Grissom stayed in the car. He called Sara while he was waiting.

Groggily she answered, "Hello?"

"Honey, did I wake you up? I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. Everything alright?"

"Yeah. We found the boy alive. Wicker is dead though. The bones did turn out to be the other missing boy."

"Well at least you found the boy."

"I'm flying home in a few hours."

"I'll meet you at the airport. Let me write down your flight information."

He gave it to her and they hung up as Malone came back out of the house.

"That was fast."

"It was not the ending the parents had hoped for, but they had expected it after all these years. They thanked me for finding their son's remains. Now at least they know and they can give him a proper burial."

"This is the one you couldn't let go of isn't it?"

Malone nodded. Grissom had a few of those in his career. Luckily he had closed most of them. There were a few though that still haunted him. He tried not to think about them very often.

"When does your flight leave?"

"At four."

"Come on, I'll buy you a slice and a beer. The pizza in Vegas sucks."

Grissom chuckled.

Malone dropped him off at the airport a few hours later. The cases he had come with were now mostly empty.

He slept on the plane this time. He was too tired not to.

The sound of the announcement that they would be landing in Las Vegas in a few minutes woke him up.

Sara was waiting for him at the gate with her official Denali to get the cases. It saved a lot of time and red tape. Rank did have it's privileges.

"Hi, honey." He greeted her with a kiss.

"Hi, how was the flight back?"

"Restful, I slept most of the way."

"Good. You hungry? We can drop this stuff off at the lab and get something to eat before shift."

He kissed her again. He'd missed her in more ways than one.

She recognized the darkening of those blue eyes.

"Oh," was all she could say.

They hurried to get the stuff back to the lab and then hurried home.

He held her hand in the car.

"Sara, I missed you."

"I know. I missed you too."

She pulled into her parking spot at the townhouse and they went inside.

He hardly got her in the door before he was kissing her again.

He had not been like this in some time. They had made love since her abduction, but right now it was more than that. He needed her, he wanted her, now.

His hands were everywhere it seemed. He could not get enough of her.

He kissed along her neck up to the sensitive spot behind her ear.

His hands found their way under her shirt.

"Gil…" she gasped before he silenced her with a deep kiss.

There were no words spoken and he took her hand and led her to the bedroom. There he began to undress her.

She loved it when Grissom would undress her. It made her feel like a present. She felt important, special when he did that.

"God, Sara, I love you. You're so beautiful."

She blushed a bit and kissed him in return.

She unbuttoned his shirt and began to remove it for him. He toed off his shoes as she unbuttoned his jeans. They stood there for a moment catching their breath and just holding one another.

Grissom gently led her to the bed and reverently laid her down. He laid down beside her and kissed her again.

He wanted to show her how much he wanted her and loved her.

This was always something they did well. There were no words needed. They would just get in the way.

His eyes had grown dark with passion.

He kissed her again. His hands found the spots that made her moan with pleasure every time. He continued down until he found her most intimate spot. She wanted him also. He dipped one and then another finger in. Sara's eyes rolled shut as she gave herself over to the pleasure.

She felt Grissom shift and cover her body with his. His weight was a welcoming blanket. She felt safe like this. Nothing bad could happen here.

She felt him enter her body and gasped with the sensation. He was still for a moment and let her get used to him.

He began to move and she quickly found his rhythm. She could feel her orgasm building. She gave herself over to the pleasure as she felt the waves of her climax burst forth.

Grissom let her ride the waves as he waited. She slowly began to come back to him.

He smiled at her as she pulled him down to into a kiss. She rolled them both over and began a rhythm of her own. Her intent was to bring him the same pleasure she felt a few minutes ago. As she rocked against him, she could feel him tense. She knew he was close. She moved faster and felt him arch into her as he released.

He pulled her down onto his chest and held her there. They both needed the physical connection. Neither was willing to break the contact.

They laid there like that for a long time, Grissom periodically kissing the top of Sara's head. There was no need for words. Sara drifted into sleep. Grissom just held her while she slept. He knew her sleep had not been consistent since her abduction.

Eventually sleep took him also.

They slept like that for hours.

It was Sara who woke first. She remembered waking and feeling safe. It was the first truly restful hours of sleep she had had in months.

Grissom breathed slow and steady next to her.

She studied his face as he slept.

He looked tired most of the time, but like this he looked younger and peaceful. He carried so much on his shoulders most of the time. He took his responsibilities seriously.

She knew he worried about her. It was the reason she tried to hide how she was feeling from him. The sense of futility about her job was something she kept to herself. The ghosts from her past that came to her more and more often these days also remained her private secret. She did it to shelter him from one more thing to worry about.

The love she felt for him sometimes overwhelmed her. She didn't think it possible for her to love someone this much. It had taken so long for them to get to this point. Now they were engaged. Soon they would be married. No firm plans had been made. They knew it would be small, just friends and a few family members. She had yet to get a ring, not that she needed one. The bond between them had been forged years ago and did not require a gold band. Even if they never got married, they would always be together. There was no other path for their lives. The only future was one with them as one.

The thought of that brought a smile to Sara's face. She kissed Grissom's shoulder as she nestled against him.

She felt him stir.

"What time is it?"

She laughed, "I don't know."

He rolled slightly to look at the clock. It read 2:45 pm. He had hours before he had to be to work. Sara did not have that kind of time she was due to work in a little over an hour.

"You better get ready for work."

She sighed, "I know, but I would much rather stay here with you like this. Can't we just make the rest of the world go away?"

He kissed her.

"I would love nothing more."

She sighed again and got out of bed.

Grissom propped himself up on one elbow as she was getting ready.

"Sara, maybe we can take some time off soon. Make it a honeymoon?"

Not the most graceful way to bring up the wedding plans, but it was very Grissom.

For a man who was as good with words as he was, he could be totally awkward when it came to personal matters.

She poked her head out of the bathroom.

"Where should we go?"

He would go wherever she wanted to go. He didn't care if they went nowhere. He just wanted to be with her.

"You pick," was his answer.

"We could go to the rain forest. I would love to go to Costa Rica."

He laughed. The conversation about the rain forest they had after Brass was shot ran through his mind.

"Is that really where you want to go?"

"Yes, I would love to go to the rain forest. I've never been."

"Then you shall have whatever you want. We'll honeymoon in Costa Rica."

She smiled at him. It was her Sidle smile. Her entire face lit up when she smiled like that. He would give her anything when she smiled like that. He wondered if they were ever to have a child if that child would have her smile. He hoped so. It kind of shocked him to think about a child. He was past all that he thought. Sara had this was of bringing out new thoughts in him. He had never imagined getting married, well not since second grade, in any serious way. There had been other women, but his studies had always won out. Sara was different.

"Good. At least we have that settled."

Her speaking broke his trance. She was beside the bed.

"Get ready for work before you're late."

She leaned over and kissed him and headed for the shower.

Her shift was long and busy. There had been a murder and the scene was bloody. She was headed back to the lab. All she wanted to do was go home.

She was walking down the hallway to the locker room with her head phones on. She ran into Warrick. He was just getting off work. He'd worked a double and was into his third shift.

They collided in the door way. He had dropped his prescription bottle.

"Oh, Ooh!"

"Oh, sorry."

She removed the ear buds that were connected to her iPod. She picked up the bottle for him.

"Zopidem? That's good stuff."

"Yeah, it helps me sleep. I've been having the hardest time lately."

"Me, too."

"Well, coming off grave after all these years, you know, takes a while to adjust. You're a tough cookie. I'm not worried about you. Take care of yourself, huh?"

"Thanks."

"Yeah"

Warrick left.

Sara hollered after him, "Sweet dreams."

He hollered back from the hallway, "Thank you."

_I'm worried about me. _

It was then she noticed the blood on the toe of them.

"Oh…"

She sat on the bench and removed her boots.

In the past she would have cleaned them off. This time it was not worth it. She just would throw them away. There seemed little point to her in cleaning something that she would always know was there.

Just then Ronnie appeared in the doorway of the locker room.

"Hey. Sara, you done with your scene?"

"Yeah."

"Good, because we just caught another one: 425 off Craig Road."

Sara nodded, but was not thrilled. She didn't want to work a double, but what choice was there?

She put the shoes in the trash and got another pair from her locker before meeting Ronnie at the scene.

She called Grissom and told him she was working a double.

She and Ronnie arrived at the scene. There was a strange sense about this one. Sara could not put her finger on it but she had a really bad feeling about it.

They walked in to find blood on the floor and signs of a struggle. There did not appear to be anyone home.

Just then a woman walked through the door. Sara was startled. She talked to the woman who was the owner of the house.

She turned around and Sara saw a knife sticking out of her back. The scene now felt very familiar.

It triggered memories of the night her father was killed. She stood frozen as Ronnie called for the paramedics. Sara could hardly breathe. The night of her father's murder ran through her mind. The ghosts were talking loud and clear to her right now.

Sara stood to the side as the paramedics treated Mrs. Jimenez. All hell broke loose when Mr. Jimenez showed up. At first he seemed concerned, but that quickly changed to anger when he accused her of calling the police. It was an all too familiar scene to Sara. For a moment it was not the Jimenez's fighting, it was her parents and she was again a small frightened child hiding in the corner. The world went silent as Sara wanted out of the house.

"Why don't you finish up here?" She said to Ronnie as she left the house.

She did not hear Ronnie walking after her and calling her name.

"Wait a minute. How are we going to handle this?

Sara finally turned around, "Well, the guy's under arrest."

"He'll he free by tomorrow. Her husband is obviously abusing her. There has to be something we can do."

"We'll be back for her body next month. Or his. Or Both. There is nothing you can do about this, Ronnie. Don't kid yourself."

Sara left. She did not want to face the scene in front of her. She did not want to think about the past or the inevitable in this case. She had seen it too many times in her career. She had lived it as a child. She knew what was going to happen and was just too tired to fight it any more. That thought scared her as much as any.

She remembered the domestic cases from the past that had been part of her passion for this job. Kaye Shelton, Svetlana Melton, Jane Melton. That case had nearly cost her the job she loved. It was also when she opened up to Grissom about her past. He understood at that point why these cases captured her so. She did not care anymore. There was nothing she could do to change things so why bother trying.

She sat in the parking lot of the lab in her car for over an hour thinking about what she wanted to do. She was just not sure she could do this job any more.

**A/N: Please post a review if you are still speaking to for taking so long to post this. I promise to not make you wait for the next two.**


	55. Chapter 55

**Okay as promised here is the next one. I had to rewatch Goodbye and Good Luck for this chapter. That was hard to do. There is such a range of emotions in this one. **

Sara walked back into the lab to find Grissom. She knew he was there because she saw his car in the parking lot.

He looked up to see her at the same time she saw him. She was waiting at the door of his office. He waved her in; she smiled at him, but just couldn't talk him about this here in the lab. She decided to walk away for now. He was too good at reading her and he would know something was wrong.

Mandy found Sara in the hallway of the lab. Mandy had found prints that belonged to a case from Sara's past.

They belonged to Marlon West. The older brother of Hannah West who was for Sara the one who got away. The old feelings came back from that case. This was one more chance to put things right. She had to put her personal feelings aside. She wanted this case.

She went back to Grissom's office. This time she went in.

"Hey."

"Hey, where did you go earlier? I saw you come in but then you left."

"Oh, I had to check on something, sorry about that. I wanted to talk to you about a case. Can you meet me in the layout room?"

"Sure."

"Okay. See you in a few minutes."

"Hey, you gonna tell me anything about it?"

"I have to get some more information first. I'll tell you, Catherine, and Nick at the same time."

A while later she met them in the layout room with the old case file on Stacey Vollmer. Sara laid out the old case for them. She and Nick had worked that one together.

Sara then laid out what Hannah had done since that time. She had graduated high school and then moved on to Harvard. A fact not lost on Sara that it was her alma mater as well.

Grissom knew this case had gotten to Sara. He remembered her melancholy following the verdict. It had been weeks before she fully recovered from that. It now appeared she really hadn't gotten over it.

He remarked, "You keeping tabs on her?"

"Not recently. Look, accident or no accident, Marlon killed before. Hannah sunk this case, Marlon got a free pass, and now he's killed again."

Catherine chimed in, "Well, we don't know that just yet. I mean, we don't have Marlon's DNA to compare to the semen that was found in the victim. All the old evidence was expunged with the verdict."

Sara was more determined than ever.

"I want this case."

Grissom was reading her clearly, "The one that got away?" He tried to keep it light.

"We're not supposed to let them get away, right?"

Grissom understood this. There had been cases over the years that were like this. Milander was the first one that came to mind. She was right. They were not supposed to get away.

"Okay. I'll talk to Ecklie. Catherine has to supervise, though. You report to her."

"Fine."

Catherine was a bit reluctant to let this one go, but she had little choice.

Ecklie agreed to this arrangement.

Catherine was not sure why he had, but now it was done. The case was officially handed over to Sara. Nick would assist her.

Brass was her first call. They needed to go to talk to Marlon. They got his class schedule from the school and met him in his Chemistry class.

"Hello, Marlon."

Marlon was shocked to see them.

"What are you guys doing here?"

Brass spoke first, "We're here to talk to you about Kira Dellenger."

"Kira committed suicide."

Sara chimed in, "Actually she was murdered."

"Somebody I know ends up dead and I am automatically a suspect?"

Brass quipped, "History has a way of repeating itself, Marlon. You killed before you know?"

"That was an accident. And I admitted I was responsible from day one."

Sara said, "Kira was forced out her dorm window. Your prints were there."

"My prints were there because I've been in there a million times."

"Your prints were also found a tube of sexual lubricant."

Brass asked, "Were you having sex with her, Marlon?"

"Yeah, we were having sex."

Brass asked again, "Last night?"

"No, we had a gig last night. We got into a fight."

Sara observed his lip, "Did she give you that fat lip?"

"No, not exactly."

He recounted what happened the previous night. Kira had been kissing another man and he and Marlon had fought. He was the one who gave Marlon the fat lip.

"Well, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt in exchange for this." Sara held up a DNA swab.

"You remember this."

Hannah walked up just then.

"I assume you have a DNA warrant, Sara. Because if you don't, you certainly don't have his consent. Isn't that right, Marlon?"

Sara was almost too shocked to speak.

"Hannah, I heard you were studying back east-- what are you doing here?"

"Graduate school. Excuse me."

She walked past a very stunned Sara and headed to the front of the class.

Sara turned to Brass and Marlon, "Excuse me."

She followed Hannah, "You are not going to muddy the waters this time."

"Are you sure you would know if I had? You're welcome to stay. You might learn something."

There was something that didn't sit well with Sara she needed to do more research.

She and Brass headed back to the police department. Sara needed to figure out a way to get Marlon's DNA but it would not be easy. They needed to get more on him than they had.

While Brass and Sara were working on that Archie and Greg discovered some information on Kira's blog site. The found the identity of the man she was with and located him in the hospital. He had been in an accident.

Brass went to speak to him. He discovered that he had been with Kira the night before and they had sex.

He had ingested GBH and it was learned that Kira had too. They found the source of the GHB as the sexual lubricant found in Kira's room. Hodges had confirmed that.

Hodges quipped, "Kudos to you. The lube was indeed the laced with GHB. Not hard to do if you know a little chemistry. "

Sara understood the implications of that, "Marlon takes chemistry. Hannah teaches it."

Nick took a more logical approach, "We know Marlon's fingerprints are on the lube tube. We know he was jealous. Maybe the GBH-lube was his way of getting back at her. You know? Give a drug free girl a bad trip."

Hodges shook his head, "Which became a really bad trip."

Nick continued, "Yeah. But it still doesn't conclusively put anybody at the crime scene."

Sara was looking at the pictures from the scene.

Sara realized that this would be enough to get her warrant for Marlon's DNA. They had a fragment of tooth that was found in Kira's hand.

"There's one thing we have that does. We can get a warrant for this."

Nick went to collect the DNA and the dental impression from Marlon.

Sara went to talk to Hannah.

"He didn't kill Kira. He cared about her." Hannah began.

"Hannah, what makes you think that I would believe anything that you tell me?"

"I suppose I'm an optimist. College has been a difficult adjustment for Marlon, especially after we lost our parents."

"I'm sorry about that."

"You're not really, though. When will Marlon be able to leave?"

"Well, we're going to keep him here as long and we possibly can."

"At least that's honest. It also seems a little vindictive."

"Given your brother's history, I think it's pretty sensible."

Hannah cocked her head and looked at Sara.

"What's wrong, Sara? You're different that you used to be. You're angry. And a little sad, too. Why?"

Sara was not going to share with Hannah what she couldn't even share with Grissom. How had she seen through her like that?

"If you want to spend more time with your brother, I recommend you invest in a good lawyer, Hannah."

Sara turned and left the room. She could not be in the room with her anymore. Hannah being able to see through her like that had unnerved her greatly. She was not going to let Hannah get the better of her again.

Sara went to work on figuring out if it was really Marlon that killed Kira. She looked at the tooth fragment and came to an interesting conclusion, it was not oriented correctly. The tooth fragment did not fit correctly into Marlon's mouth the way it was implanted in Kira's hand. Something was wrong.

Grissom came in just then and she explained her theory to him.

"I don't think Kira punched Marlon. I think Hannah picked up the tooth from a fight that Marlon had earlier in the evening and planted it on Kira."

Grissom gave that theory some thought. It was possible. The orientation was wrong and this could explain it.

Sara doubted the theory as soon as it came out of her mouth. It sounded crazy even to her.

"That's crazy."

Grissom was quick to counter that though, "It's possible."

"This kid has me spinning in circles again."

Sara was not sure how she felt at the moment. It felt like the world was crashing in on her and at the same time like she was spinning out of control. She had to figure this one out. She was not going to let Hannah do this to her again.

Grissom was worried. He knew Sara could lose perspective. She could become too involved in cases. He was beginning to suspect there was more going on with Sara than she was admitting. He regretted going to New York and leaving her here alone. He should have stayed with her.

"You know, Sara, some cases, some suspects, get under your skin. Like this tooth. But you can't let it make you feel bad. If you want, we can put Nick on this."

"No, no. I…um….need to finish this case. I'll be okay."

Grissom had his doubts. He knew her too well for that. He also knew that removing her at this point would do further damage so he gave in.

"Okay."

"Thank you. I just need to figure this out. Hannah is not going to play me again for the fool. I know she's involved in this. I'm beginning to think that Marlon's innocent. I think Hannah really did kill her this time."

He was speaking now as her lover.

"Sara, please don't let this drag you down. Keep perspective."

"Gil, I'm really trying. Thanks for letting me finish this one. I just need to do it, you know."

He did know. He had been there many times: Paul Milander, Dr. Lurie, and Natalie Davis. He knew was it was like to have the bad guys get away with a crime you knew they had committed. He also was wrestling with the fact that he wanted to protect Sara. The CSI in him understood the need to finish this one. The lover in him wanted desperately to protect Sara. He was torn. He knew it would piss her off if he were to show that worry.

"Please, Sara. I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine, really. I just have to finish this case. Please don't pull me off it now."

His heart overrode his brain and he agreed to leave her on this case. He could not deny her anything when she asked like that.

"Okay, but remember what I said."

"I will. I'll see you at home later. I just want to check on a few things here."

Sara wanted to talk to Hannah again and then to Marlon, but she didn't dare tell Grissom that. He already thought she was too involved.

An hour later she was sitting in the interrogation room with Hannah.

She wasn't messing around or giving Hannah a change to spin things around again. Sara was determined to be in charge.

Sara came in and began by showing Hannah the photographs.

"What's that in your hand?"

"I think it was a gum wrapper. It's wrong to litter."

"It's a piece of tooth—the one that Kira Dellenger's new boy-toy knocked out of Marlon's head."

Sara continued with her theory.

"You had already spiked Kira's lube with GHB. All you had to do was wait. A piece of tooth in her fist, a little bit of leverage, and your brother's a killer again."

"That a highly unlikely series of event. You don't expect me to confess to something I didn't do?"

Sara didn't know that Brass had called Grissom about the interview with Hannah. He was worried about this case's affect on Sara. Grissom had arrived at the same time Sara started the interview. He was watching from the observation room. Neither of them knew he was there. Sara would be angry that he had followed her here, but right now he didn't care. He was worried about her. This case wasn't good for her. He was really beginning to regret giving it to her. He came to make sure she was okay. So far she was doing fine.

"I am just putting you on notice. You are not fooling me anymore."

Sara was getting angry and Hannah exploited that.

"I think I know why you're so angry, Sara. I did some research. I read about what that serial killer did you out in the desert, under that car…"

Sara was stunned. Grissom tensed. _Oh, God_. It was something that they hardly talked about. He knew the interview had shifted. Hannah was trying to get to Sara.

Sara tried to keep it on track. She would not talk about this with Hannah. She knew what Hannah was trying to do.

"We're talking about you, Hannah."

Hannah saw her chance and exploited it.

Grissom watched as the interview fell apart before his eyes.

Hannah continued to pick away at Sara, "It must've been so terrible being trapped like that all alone. Did your life flash in front of your eyes?"

"That is none of your business."

Hannah continued her barrage.

"You must have been so sad knowing you were going to lose everyone who mattered to you."

Bringing up Grissom was the final straw. Sara's anger broke loose.

"Stop it, Hannah!"

Grissom was going to go end this right now. Sara had lost control of the interview. Hannah was spinning her again. His need to protect her took over. He headed out of the observation room.

"Look, I know how it feels. One moment my parents were alive, and the next they were gone."

Anger tinged Sara's voice, "Answer the question!"

"My life changed in that moment. All that I have left is Marlon. Why would I do anything to hurt him?"

Sara's rage broke out then. She stood and banged her hand on the table.

"Stop playing games with me!"

Sara knew she would get no more from Hannah and stormed out of the room. Just as she left Grissom came around the corner.

He didn't want to upset Sara so he tried to keep it light, "Hey"

She was still angry, and very surprised to find him there.

"What are you doing here?"

Grissom walked over to her. Sara was still bristling from her altercation with Hannah. She was not in the mood to deal with him right now. She needed to get herself back in control. Him trying to hover over her was not what she needed right now.

She backed away from him. She didn't want him to touch her here. If he did, she would not be able to hold it together.

Grissom answered her question, "I was going to ask you the same question. Listen, I'm worried about you."

She cut him off before he could say any more.

"That just makes this worse. I-I can't talk about this right now. I can't."

She turned and walked off, leaving a stunned Grissom standing there. It took a moment, but he followed her. He caught up to her in the parking lot.

"Sara…."

She heard him but didn't stop. If she talked to him now she would lose what control she had. She had to get out. The feeling of being trapped overwhelmed her at the moment.

"Sara, stop….please."

It was the please that got her. She had only heard him like this one time before, when she was in the hospital after her abduction. He was not only worried, he was scared.

She turned to face him.

"Gil, please, don't make me do this here. I can't."

He wanted to wrap himself around her and protect her. He didn't care at that moment who saw them. She was hurting. This was the hard part about love. When the one you love hurts like this, do you too. He hesitantly pulled her to him. She went rigid. He could feel the tension in her body.

"Sara, please, talk to me. If not here then later. I love you."

The hot sting of tears built behind her eyes.

"Gil, I can't do this here."

She pulled away from him.

"Sara…"

She didn't let him finish. She stopped him with a kiss.

"I'll see you back at the lab. I just need to calm down. I promise we'll talk when we get home. I just can't do it here, not right now."

He sighed, "Okay, but we are going to talk about this."

She put a hand on his cheek.

"I know, and I love you too. You know that right?"

He nodded. His emotions were riding high right now too.

"Thank you."

She kissed him and got in her car. Grissom stood there and watched her drive away.

He knew something was wrong, but had no idea what to do about it.

**A/N: Push the little button at the bottom if you want to know what happens next. It's ready to go.**


	56. Chapter 56

**Part three to this Russian epic of a chapter. I am working on more. Hope you enjoy it.**

Sara could hardly breathe. She was not ready to face this. Her past was catching up with her. How had Hannah figured out what was going on? Now Grissom was worried. That was the one thing she was trying to avoid. Her life was rapidly falling apart. She had more work to do at the lab. Work would take her mind off what was happening.

As she walked in the building she saw Ronnie talking to Mrs. Jimenez from their earlier case. Ronnie was trying to get her help. Sara remembered when she did that for victims. She didn't have it in her right now. She was trying to keep her own life together and to tell the truth she had seen all too often that it didn't work. She was not willing to put the work into it only to have the victim go back and continue the cycle. It was a mirror of her own life as a child.

Ronnie caught up with Sara.

"What happened? Her husband attack her again?"

"No, she came in voluntarily. It took some convincing, but she's agreed to go to a shelter."

"She won't stay."

Sara remembered the trips to shelters her mother had taken them, only to go back to her father within days. It was a never ending cycle most of the time.

"Maybe not. But at least now she has a chance. Look, I did it all on my own time, no OT. I know it's not the way you do things, but I think its part of the job. At least, that's how I want it to be. For me."

God she remembered being like Ronnie. Full of passion. Now she felt dead, hollow. The word kept rolling around in her mind, burnout. This was what burnout felt like. It felt like….nothing. She felt nothing.

_Just think about the work, Sara_ she told herself.

She needed to interview Marlon and see what he had to say. She arranged for an interview at the jail. Marlon had been arrested for the murder of Kira Dellenger. She believed that Marlon was being framed by Hannah. She arranged for Marlon to speak to her to see if he could get her to admit what she had done. It did not work. Sara was not sure it would anyway, but she knew the one person who could get to Hannah was Marlon. She saw right through him. Her motivation became apparent though, she wanted Marlon for herself. She was determined to make him totally dependent on her and her alone.

Sara went back to the lab. She knew she had to face Grissom sooner or later. He was not going to give up.

She walked into his office. She was ready to talk to him.

She began, "Hi."

He looked up at her.

"Hi."

She smiled at him. This was Grissom, the man she loved. She knew deep down she was safe with him.

He was gentle with her. It appeared she was going to keep her promise to talk with him.

"Okay, what's up?"

She took a deep breath. It was never going to be easy. She just had to do it.

"I'm sorry. I've been…um…."

Just then her cell phone rang. She looked at the caller id. It was Brass. Grissom waited while she answered her phone.

"This is Sara……I'll be right there."

Her face was ashen as she turned to leave.

Grissom got up and went after her.

"Sara….wait…Sara."

She turned to him.

"Where are you going?"

"Um…Brass just called. Marlon West just hung himself in his cell. I asked him to talk to Hannah. I thought she could get to him. She told him she would visit him in jail. She killed Kira and set him up. Now he's dead because of what I did."

"No, Sara this is not your fault."

She just looked up at him. The look in her eyes both broke his heart and terrified him. She was falling apart.

"I have to go."

"Sara, please."

He reached out for her, but she stopped him.

"Gil, just let me do this. Please, I need to do this."

"At least let me come with you."

"No, I need to do this alone."

He knew it was no use arguing with her.

"Please, Sara, talk to me when you get back. Honey, I'm really worried about you."

"I know you are."

_I'm worried about me too_.

"I love you, Sara."

He kissed her.

"I love you, too."

She left. Grissom watched her drive away for the second time that day. He felt there was really something wrong. It scared him.

Sara saw Marlon in his cell and went to find Hannah. Someone had to tell her about her brother.

Sara was waiting for her outside of the college when she ended classes.

Hannah saw Sara and walked up to her.

"You need to talk to me again?"

"I do. I know you killed Kira Dellenger. I just can't prove it."

"That must be frustrating for you."

Sara had no time for games.

"Hannah, Marlon's dead."

Clearly Hannah didn't believe her.

"Wow, that's a really sad and desperate ploy, Sara. It's beneath you."

Sara showed her the picture of Marlon hanging in his cell.

"He was doing so well here, wasn't he? Making friends, joining a band, falling in love. But you're still a freak, just like high school."

"You're lying. No, it's a lie."

Hannah was in graduate school but she was still a child.

"His world got bigger, and yours stayed the same, and you killed Kira so you could keep him all to yourself, didn't you?"

"It's a lie! No ... it's a lie! It's a lie! This is a ...lie!

She dropped her backpack and grabbed Sara's hands. Sara struggled with her and kneeled as Hannah cried.

"Stop it! Marlon ... he-he-he can't leave me all alone.

Sara put her arm around Hannah. She was still a little girl. She had just lost her family. Sara knew what that was like.

It was the final straw. She knew she had to escape. She had to get away from death. She could not do this job any more. If she could put a name to it, it would have been burnout. She had put a name to it hadn't she.

She knew then she had to leave. She had to leave now. The thought consumed her. She needed answers to her past and there was only one person who could give them to her. She needed to talk to her mother. She knew where she was living. It became a driving force.

She let Hannah go and went back to the lab. The world seemed to be happening around her but she was not a part of it. It was a blur to her. She needed to tell Grissom goodbye. She needed to do what he had been pushing her to do for more than a year. There was no energy for tears. She was beyond them. She was numb.

She couldn't talk to him. If she did he would convince her to stay. She just had to leave. A letter. She could write him a letter and then she would call him when she was in San Francisco. Her plan was set. God, she would miss him. She sat in her car and wrote the letter. She wrote another letter to Ecklie. She explained less in that one. It was her letter of resignation stating job related stress. Then she headed into the lab. She handed the letters to Judy. She told Judy to give it to Grissom if he came looking for her. She told her to give the other one to Ecklie in the morning. She would be gone by then.

Then she went to her locker. There she found her vest. She took off her name patch. She no longer considered herself a CSI. There was a relief in knowing she didn't have to do this anymore. She was ready to face her mother and her past. It would not be easy, but she had to do this or she was going to self-destruct. Her worst fear was falling apart and having Grissom watch it happen. They had come so far. She could not do that to him. She could not do that to him.

She put her vest in Ronnie's locker.

Sara went back to close her locker. There she saw a picture of Grissom and herself. It was killing her to leave him, but it was for the best. They could not be together until she was whole again until she faced the ghosts that had been with her for years.

She went in search of Grissom. There was one more thing she needed to do before she left.

She found him talking with Hodges in the hallway. Hodges was giving Grissom results. She did not care anymore.

She walked up to Grissom and kissed him. He was stunned. He didn't know what to do or why she had done that.

She turned and walked away without a word or an explanation. She had to leave before he found her. There was already a taxi waiting out front for her. She walked out leaving Grissom very confused and too stunned to move for a moment.

She left, getting into the cab that was waiting for her.

"Where to, ma'am?"

"The airport please."

"You got it."

Grissom began moving. He went in search of Sara. He could not find her. He asked Judy if she had seen her.

"Judy, have you seen Sara?"

"She left a few minutes ago, sir, but she did leave something for you."

Judy gave him an envelope.

"Thank you."

He took the envelope and headed back to his office.

There Grissom opened the note.

Gil ... You know I love you. I feel I've loved you forever.

I haven't been feeling very well. Truth be told, I'm tired.

Out in the desert, under that car that night, I realized

something, and I haven't been able to shake it. Since my father died, I've

spent almost my entire life with ghosts. We'd been like close friends, and out

there in the desert, it occurred to me that it was time for me to bury them. I

can't do that here. I'm so sorry. No matter how hard I try to fight it off,

I'm left with the feeling that ... I have to go. I have no idea where I'm

going, but I know I have to do this. If I don't, I'm afraid I'll self-destruct,

and worse, you'll be there to see it happen. Be safe. Know that I tried very

hard to stay. Know that you are my one and only. I will miss you with every

beat of my heart. Our life together was the only home I've ever really had. I

wouldn't trade it for anything. I love you. I always will. Good-bye.

Grissom was too stunned to move. He took off his glasses. The thoughts ran through his head at record pace_. She can't be gone. I have to find her. She wouldn't leave like this. Where did she go? I have to find her. I have to find her._

That was the thought he settled on.

He tried her cell phone. It went to voice mail. It was like the night of her abduction all over again. He called everyone to see if they knew where she was. Nobody had seen her. He called home and got no answer.

He moved without thinking. He walked out of the lab. Her car was still in its spot. She couldn't have gotten far. Where did she go? He began scouring the lab and the area around it. There was no sign of her.

He called again and again.

Sara knew he had read the letter by now. She had purchased a one way ticket to San Francisco. She took nothing with her, but her purse and her cell phone which she had shut off. She would call him once she was there. Her heart was breaking, but she had to do this. She would call him and explain why later. If she talked to him now she wouldn't be able to leave. He would talk her into staying. She was making the right decision for them. She felt that in her heart. She had to get better before they could get married.

They called for her flight and she hurried onto the plane.

_Goodbye for now, Gil. I love you_._ I am doing this for us._

She watched the lights of Vegas disappear as the plane took her toward her future and her past. At the moment they were one and the same. She had to face one before she could have the other.

Grissom was frantic. He called Brass.

"Jim, I can't find her. Did she say anything to you?"

"Gil, slow down. Who can't you find?"

"Sara. I can't find Sara."

"What do you mean she can't find Sara?"

"She left me a letter. She left. I can't find her."

Brass could hear the despair in his friend's voice.

"Gil, hang on. I'll be right there."

They hung up and Grissom called home for the tenth time too. He called the dog sitter to see if Sara had picked up Hank. She hadn't.

Brass arrived ten minutes later. He found Grissom sitting at his desk reading the letter again.

"Gil, have you found anything?"

"No."

"Do you have any idea where she might be or where she might go?"

"No. She didn't leave any clues."

"Think. Where might she go?"

"I have thought."

"Have you checked her credit cards?"

Grissom hadn't been thinking clearly. He was busy trying to figure out where she might be. He didn't think of how to track her.

"No, I'll do it now."

He called the credit card company. They shared an account so it was easy to get the information. She had charged a ticket for a United Flight.

He called the airline and used his clout as a CSI to get the information. She had booked a flight to San Francisco one way that had left 30 minutes ago.

He had missed her. The world came crashing down around him. It was he who needed to get out of the building now. He would not fall apart here. He could not do that. He drove home. As he pulled in the driveway it hit him that Sara was really gone. The anger and emotion began to surface. What was he going to do without her?

He walked in the house. It was so quiet. Her coat she wore yesterday was still hanging on the chair. Her shoes were still sitting by the door. Her coffee cup was in the sink. He wandered around the house looking for things she might have taken. There was nothing missing. She had just left. He was not sure if that was better or worse. It was clear she had not planned to leave. That was better. She left without anything. That was worse. How would she live? Where would she stay? Why was she going? The questions flowed without any answers. He tried her cell again and got her voicemail. He left another message.

"Sara, please call me and let me know you are okay. I know you went to San Francisco. I just need to know you're okay. I love you. Please call me."

She would be landing soon. He looked at the clock. He would wait. Going there would do no good unless he knew where she was staying.

Everything carried a memory of Sara. They had purchased this place together. It was theirs. They had fought and made up on this very couch. They had watched movies and read books here. They had even made love here. He could no longer control the rage. He kicked over the coffee table. It crashed to the floor. He sat back down and the tears came. They came in great heaving sobs. Sara was gone. His life was gone. He did not know what to do. How was he supposed to stay here? This place was her.

The ringing of his cell phone broke through the emotion. It might be her. He checked the caller ID. It said Sara.

"Honey, where are you? Please, come home."

"Gil, I got your message. I wanted to let you know I got here safely."

"Please, just come home. We can work this out here."

"No. I need to talk to my mother. I need to face the ghosts of the past."

"But…"

"I'll call you when I know where I am staying. Please don't be angry with me. I love you, but I have to do this alone right now. Take care of Hank for me. I'll call I promise."

"Sara…" It was all he could manage.

She could hear the anguish in his voice and it broke her heart. She'd hurt him. She knew it would hurt him, but this was something she had to do.

"Gil, listen to me. This has nothing to do with you and me. I need to fix me before we can move on."

He tried to understand.

"Sara, promise you'll call me."

She didn't know if she could make that promise right now. Talking to him hurt. The sadness in his voice was a reminder of what she had done. She had left the only home she had know, well the only safe one, the only one in which she felt loved. Had she made a mistake? No. This is how it had to be for now. She needed to make him understand.

He sighed, "I'm glad you are going to talk to your mother. You need to do that."

"Please understand, Gil, what I'm doing now will help us in the long run. I have so much baggage that I can't come to you whole right now. All I want to do is get better so we can make a life. I can't do that in Vegas. Its Vegas I left not you. I love you."

Leaving Vegas or leaving him…it felt the same right now. This was part of why he feared falling in love.

"Gil?"

There was just silence on the other end of the line. He said nothing.

"Gil? Are you still there?"

"Yes, I'm STILL here."

It came out with more venom than he had planned, but he really didn't care at the moment.

His words hurt her. She knew he was angry.

She heard a sigh from the other end of the line, "Sara, I'm sorry."

She began to cry, "Gil, I'm sorry too, but for now this is the way it needs to be. Just give me some time. Let me deal with my past and talk to my mother. I can't deal with death all the time right now. It was choking me. This is not about you and me. Please understand. Please just let me do this for a while. I do promise to call you. Just give me some time."

He thought for what seemed an eternity. She had waited years for him to pull his head out of his ass. She was asking for time to get her head straightened out. What choice did he have? If he pushed too hard, she would cut him off and he would never find her.

"Okay."

It was all he could manage. Anymore and he would cry or get angry, neither of which would help the situation. He knew where she was and knew she was safe.

She was relieved, "Thank you. I will call you when I figure out where I am staying. Right now I am going to get a hotel and sleep."

"Sara, I…please take care of yourself. Use the credit card. I will wire you some money. You're going to need it. Please let me do that for you. I need to know you are safe and can get what you need. You didn't even take your clothes or anything."

"I know. This was not something I planned on doing. Seeing what Marlon did and talking to Hannah that last time to tell her what her brother had done, it just….I couldn't do this job anymore. I can't. I have to be away from death and I need to feel normal again."

The anger was gone. It was replaced by despair. There was no other word for it. Both of them felt despair.

"I'm going to go now. I will call you. I promise."

"Okay." He was totally deflated. He had nothing left. She had taken it with her when she left.

What choice did he have? What choice had she left him? There was no way he could hop on a plane right now and leave.

"Gil, please."

"Sara, do what you need to do. I love you."

"I love you too. I will call you later."

She shut the phone. What had she done? Her decision to run had not included how Grissom would feel. Did he really understand? She wasn't sure. She set off to fix her past so she could have her future. This is what she had to do right now.

**A/N: I know I changed the order of when she cut the name tag off her vest. I think she would have done it first. Not even Grissom would have been so dense as to not know something was wrong with her. He would have gone looking right away. Hey, it's my story, I can do what I want. Let me know what you think. Do you think Grissom should go see her? I have my ideas. Please let me know yours. Who knows, I might like yours better and steal…I mean use them.**


	57. Chapter 57

**A/N: Okay here we go, the missing part of the show. What happened when Sara was gone. We all have wondered, well this is my take on it. I hope you enjoy.**

Grissom listened to the silence on the other end of the phone hoping she wasn't gone, hoping she would come back and talk to him. He didn't understand. He didn't want to be supportive. He wanted Sara home, where she belonged. Every bit of him wanted to run after her and make her come back.

He also knew that if he chased after her, she would only run again. The reality was beginning to settle in. She really was gone. He was here all alone. She'd promise to call him. She hadn't totally shut the door. He at least knew where she was.

He looked at the coffee table he'd kicked over, but didn't bother to clean it up.

He laid down on the couch and shut his eyes against what was happening. He didn't want to face it anymore right now. He just wanted things back to how they were before. He was not sure how much time had passed; minutes, hours. He didn't care.

His phone rang again. He grabbed it without looking at the caller ID, "Sara."

"No, it's Catherine."

He sighed, "Look, Catherine, I really can't talk right now."

"Gil, where's Sara? I heard she left."

"Uh…yes."

He could not do this right now. They would all know she was gone. He could not hide that, but he didn't want to explain or to deal with it right now. He couldn't.

"Have you heard from her?"

"Catherine, I'll talk to you later, okay. I can't do this now. I'm not coming in tonight. I'll see you tomorrow."

He hung up and turned off his phone. He knew Catherine wouldn't give up that easily. He just didn't want to talk about it right now. He still couldn't process the fact that Sara was gone. He certainly couldn't explain it to others.

Grissom spent the night wandering around the house. He couldn't rest, he couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking. The events played over and over in his head. He should have seed what was happening sooner. He should have never given her Marlon's case. He should have caught Natalie before she could take Sara. There were so many things he would have wanted to do differently. He wanted to go back and marry her the minute he asked her. He should have driven right then to a wedding chapel.

He tried to sleep. It didn't work; more thoughts of Sara. Her pillow still smelled like her shampoo. Her pajamas were still on the bed where she left them. It was clear she had not come home before she left. How could she just leave like that? She took nothing with her. What would she do? His anger was turning to fear for Sara. He scared him that he was not there to make sure she ate and make sure she had everything she needed.

He tried to call her again, but it went to voicemail. It was clear that Sara was in charge of their communication right now. She promised she would call. He had no choice but to wait for her to call. He would be able to track some of her movements with the credit card. At least he would know where she was.

When sleep still wouldn't come he got up and began to pace again. He now regretted not going to work tonight. Being here like this just reminded him that Sara was gone. The home they had build together, the one that Sara had said was the only one she had ever know, was not a torture chamber.

Work…

He needed to work. He got dressed and went to work at 5 in the morning. Sleep wasn't going to happen. He might as well do something constructive. He finished the paper work he needed to do. All the case reviews were current now.

He threw himself into work with more fervor than he ever had, even when he was single. Hank became his constant companion. He didn't understand where Sara had gone either. He paced the house looking for her as well. He would walk around sniffing for her only to come back to Grissom with at looked that asked "where was Sara?" He understood that. He'd done that the first day she was gone.

He worked a double nearly every day. He didn't care about the money. Ecklie was pleased that Grissom was caught up with the paper work and even expressed concern about Sara.

He refused to talk about her with anyone, even Catherine. It was just too painful. In his head he understood they had lost her too, but his heart wouldn't allow him to join in their grieving.

Greg seemed to blame him for her leaving. He barely spoke to Grissom.

He had just gotten home from his third double of the week when his cell phone rang. He checked the ID. It said Sara.

He answered it before the second ring.

"Hi, honey."

"Hi."

"How are you?"

He was trying not to push her too hard. He didn't want to drive her away. She had called and that was all that mattered right now.

"I'm…um…I'm okay."

"Good."

He didn't want to tell her he had tracked the fact that she had charged a hotel. He knew where to find her if he needed to. She had also purchased some clothes and personal items.

"I promised I'd call and I did."

"I'm glad. I miss you."

He could have kicked himself for saying that. He didn't want to make her feel bad. He just wanted to be supportive.

"I miss you, too."

"Sara, do you need anything? If you do, please go get it."

"I got a few things. I checked into a hotel. I am staying at the Extended Stay. It's nice but not too expensive. It has a kitchenette and a nice sitting room. I can see the bay. I've located my mother. We talked on the phone yesterday. We're going to meet tomorrow."

"I'm glad. How did your conversation with her go?"

"It was good. She was surprised to hear from me. I didn't go into much detail. I just said I was in town and would like to see her. I didn't think ambushing her on the phone was such a good idea."

"No, you're probably right."

There was a long pause.

"I just needed to hear your voice. I'm sorry. I know I hurt you when I left that way, but if I didn't I would never be able to do it."

"Sara, I would have understood."

"I know, but standing there I don't think I could have done it. I need to do this so we can be together, really together."

Over the past few days he was beginning to understand more and more as he thought about Sara. He knew had been suffering for a while. This was a slow process and he wished he had seen it before it became so bad she had to leave.

"Sara, I am beginning to really understand how rough it has been for you. Honey, all I care about right now is that you're safe and you have everything you need. When you are ready, I want to come see you."

"I would like that. I..I need to see how things are with my mother. There are still so many questions I need answered and she is she is the only one who can answer them…if they can be answered at all. I miss you so much, I really do."

"I miss you, too."

"Thank you for not pushing me."

"Sara, all I want is for you to be happy. If this is what you need, then….I can wait."

He still wasn't sure he truly felt those words, but he did want her happy. There would be no future for them if she was not happy. As much as he liked to be in control of everything, this was out of his control. Having her so far away didn't make him comfortable either. He could not see for himself if she was getting better. Over the many years since her childhood she had gotten very accomplished at saying what she knew people wanted to hear. She could tell him she was fine. He needed to see her to know for sure.

"Gil, I know this is hard for you. I do. I'm really trying to get better. I just feel broken right now. I want to get better so we can move on."

Well at least she wasn't saying she was fine. That was a start.

"Sara, the only thing I ask is that you are honest with me and that you call me."

She knew that was coming. She had already made up her mind that she was going to do both. She wasn't sure she could make it without him. I was so hard not to ask him to come now. She knew she wasn't ready for that.

"That's the plan. Trying to hide hasn't worked. I thought I would give honesty a try."

They both chuckled a nervous laugh, but it sort of died. This was too serious.

"Sara, please, I just need to know you are okay. Don't shut me out."

"It's wasn't you I left, Gil. I need you; I just have to do this."

He sighed. He knew he had to give her that space.

"I'm going to get going now. I know you need to get rest."

He didn't tell her he had just gotten in and had worked three doubles in a row.

"Call anytime, please."

Sara fought back the tears. He sounded desperate. He was trying she knew that. She also knew this was difficult for him.

"I'll call you when I get back from meeting with my mother."

"Sara…..I love you."

She actually genuinely smiled at that. She wondered if he hated her for leaving the way she did.

"I love you, too. Goodbye."

"Bye."

They hung up.

Grissom tried to lie down and sleep. It was a fitful sleep. He had a nightmare about horrible things happening to Sara in San Francisco. She consumed his thoughts most of the time. The only time he didn't think about he was when he was working.

Hank jumped up on the bed and laid down next to Grissom.

"You miss her too, don't ya?"

Hank barked as if to answer.

Grissom finally fell asleep too exhausted to do anything but sleep.

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Sara hung up with Grissom. She knew this was hard on him.

She felt better after she talked to him. She had built it up in her mind that Grissom would hate her for what she had done.

She was relieved to hear he loved her still.

She thought about the conversation she would have with her mother. They had not spoken in years. What would they say to one another? She really couldn't just start with 'hi Mom, why did you kill Dad.' She didn't even know about Grissom or know that she was engaged. She had learned that her mother had been released a few years ago. She just could never bring herself to call. Grissom had been gently prodding her to call.

She knew she needed to do this.

They were meeting at a restaurant around the corner from her mother's apartment, neutral territory for now.

She was still scared about meeting her mother. Facing her past is not something she relished doing, but it had to be done. There was a lot that needed to be dealt with.

Sara turned on the television for distraction. Sleep had been easier since she left. It seemed to be all she did some days. She was feeling a little better.

She was asleep in a few minutes.

When she woke it was nearly 8 pm. She was hungry. Checking the refrigerator, she found a yogurt and an orange. That would have to do for dinner for now.

She desperately wanted to call Grissom again to have him reassure her she was doing the right thing meeting her mother, but he needed to rest before going to work. She had t face this on her own. That's why she left Vegas in the first place.

Her thoughts were consumed by worry about meeting her mother for the first time since she was a teenager. There had been a few brief conversations, but that was all. Sara had not informed her mother of her whereabouts when she moved to Vegas nor why she went there.

There would be lots to catch up on.

Sara sighed. She needed to do something to take her mind off things. She went downstairs to the lobby and found a gift shop. She had seen it before. By Vegas standards it was small, but it had books and magazines and snacks. She scanned the books on the shelf until she found one that looked interesting. It was a novel about a woman living on the frontier in the 1800's. Not something she generally would have chosen. She was used to reading forensics articles and text books. Right now she wanted the complete opposite of anything to do with forensics. She wanted distraction. She purchased the book, a bag of almonds, and some coffee.

The book was surprisingly well written. She was engrossed in it by midnight and by three had read nearly half of it. It was by no means a classic, but is served the purpose of distracting her.

Her eyes were finally too heavy to read and she closed the book to rest.

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Grissom was able to sleep for three hours, a bit of a record for him lately. It was an hour before he was due in. He got up and got dressed. He decided to take Hank to the sitters today.

Grissom took him for a walk and then headed into work.

Brass was at the lab. He explained that he needed to call out reports to finish the paperwork Ecklie needed from him.

Brass could no longer hold his questions. He'd been watching his friend all week.

"So, you've been pulling a lot of doubles this week."

"Yeah, it's about all I do."

Brass held his breath and just asked the question they had all wanted to have answered.

"Have you been in touch with Sara?"

Grissom decided to answer honestly.

"We've talked a little."

"So where's she at?"

Grissom again decided to answer the question.

"San Francisco, visiting her mother."

Brass could tell that Grissom missed the point of his question.

"No, I mean…that's nice. No, I meant where's she at emotionally? You know, with respect to the two of you."

"I can't speak for her."

Brass continued to push.

"So speak for yourself."

Grissom was not willing to go that far in sharing. In part because he was not really sure where he was emotionally. Some days he was sad. Some days he was angry. Some days he was scared. Some days he was all three. He had still not totally come to terms with Sara's departure. He understood her reasons, but was not convinced she had done the right thing.

He decided to avoid the question. He just could not do this here, he wasn't sure he could do it anywhere right now.

"I can't talk, I'm really busy."

This wasn't a lie. He was busy and he really couldn't talk. He hurried away from Brass before he asked anymore questions.

He went to his office to work on the paperwork he needed to finish. Work was his therapy right now. It hurt too much to be home. Everything reminded him of Sara. Work did too, but there he was not idle. At home he had time to think, think about Sara. He managed to pass most of his shift without running into the others. Once he ran into Greg, who appeared to be angry with him, for what he didn't know, but Greg and Sara had always been close and Greg had been moody since Sara left.

Nick came by near the end of shift and asked Grissom to go to breakfast. Grissom declined. He just didn't want to be with people right now, not these people. They all reminded him of Sara.

Catherine found Grissom in the hallway near the break room.

"Oh, hey. How are you?"

She walked with him down the hall as he continued on his way.

"Why?"

"Can't I ask how you're doing?"

He felt like a heal snapping at her that way. They had been friends a long time and she did not deserve it.

"I'm sorry. I've just had a lot of….uh….I've been busy."

He simply could not talk about Sara here.

"Oh. Well, maybe you should take a few days off for once in your career. I mean, you've got enough stored up. Go after her."

Grissom looked at her. That was all he really wanted to do. It took more effort to stay now than it would to go. He fought the urge every moment. He would wait until Sara was ready.

"It's not what she wants."

"What do you want?"

This one he answered honestly as he could right now.

"I want her to be happy."

He could not talk about it anymore right now. If he did he would lose it.

He headed back to his office. There was always paperwork to keep him away from the others.

He spent the rest of his shift completing paperwork.

On his way out he saw Greg.

"Night, Greg."

"Yeah, whatever."

Grissom turned to look at him still wondering why Greg was pissed at him. It was like he blamed Grissom for Sara leaving.

He walked into the break room to find Hodges talking to game pieces.

This was strange behavior even for Hodges.

"What are you doing?"

Hodges looked guilty as he stammer out his answer.

"Oh, uh…. I was…us just trying to….develop a board game based on this place, but not in any legally actionable sense. You get evidence, scenarios, analysis. Try to solve diabolical murders."

Grissom was interested. He loved games. They were a diversion.

"I like games."

"Really?"

Hodges seemed to perk up.

"Yeah."

Grissom sat down and played a game with him. He of course figured it out quickly.

Hodges offered praise, "I am a mere Padawan in the presence of the Jedi Master."

Hodges gave a slight bow.

"True…Let's play another."

"Sure."

Hodges set up the game again.

"You weren't ready…..to leave….this: the challenges, the puzzles, the job."

"No."

"But Sara was."

He thought for a moment.

"Yeah, she was."

"You can't stand in the way of that. When it's time for someone to move on, you just gotta let them go."

Hodges had suddenly put it in perspective for Grissom. Hodges was right. He couldn't stand in Sara's way. If she needed to move on, he needed to let her do that. He would however, never let Hodges know that. Suddenly he was no longer angry. He really understood for the first time why she left. It was time for her. This job had nearly consumed her. She got out before it totally took everything from her. She was right to leave. He knew that now. He could be at peace with what she did and really understand. It was a relief. He had wrestled with it for a week now. As long as she talked to him and he knew she was okay, he could wait in peace. He would be strong for her and when she was ready he would go see her.

"Let's just play the game, shall we?"

Things would be okay. He knew that now.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. I am inspired to write again. I love it. This is for Mr. and Mrs. Grissom.**


	58. Chapter 58

**A/N: I decided it's time we know what Sara said to her mother on that first visit. My take is there would be a huge range of emotions for Sara. I hope you like my take on this.**

Sara woke up the next morning realizing that today she was going to see her mother for the first time in nearly twenty years. She had conflicting feelings. Part of her wanted to run and not face it, but that was not what she really needed to do. She had to do this.

Next she really wanted to call Grissom and have him reassure her it would be alright.

She debated with herself for a moment before she dialed his cell phone.

"Hi." He'd picked it up on the first ring.

"Hi, how was shift?"

She heard him get up and talk to someone about excusing himself for a moment.

"Shift was fine. I'm still at the lab."

She looked at the clock it was 9:30 in the morning.

"Why are you still there?"

"Oh, I was helping Hodges with something, but I'd rather talk you."

She smiled.

"So, what's up?"

"I just wanted to talk to you before I went to see my mother. I know I told you I'd call after, but I just needed some reassurance."

"Sara, you'll be fine. This is your mother."

"I know. I'm just being silly."

"No, you're not silly. I wish I could be there to go with you. I'd like to meet your mother."

"I need to do this on my own, I have some information I need to know. I wonder if she's as nervous as I am."

"I bet she is. She hasn't seen her daughter in nearly twenty years. She's got just as many questions and fears as you do, Honey."

"I'm sorry I called you. I'm just being silly."

"Never be sorry you called me. I want you to call me anytime you need to."

He desperately wanted her to understand that cutting him off again was what scared him the most. As long as she talked to him, he knew she was getting better. Right now she still sounded sad and broken. His heart wanted nothing more than to hold her and keep her safe. He knew in his head that she needed to do this alone. She had to face the ghosts of her past and put them to rest.

"Gil…."

There was a long pause.

He waited.

"Gil, thank you."

"For what?"

"For listening."

She was going to ask him to come, but she knew she was not ready for that. There was much work to do before she could have him come. For now they would just talk.

"Sara, I have to go now. You need to quit stalling. Go see you mother. Talk to her. Ask her your questions. You can tell me all about it when you're done."

He was greeted with a sigh.

"Okay. I love you. I'll call you this afternoon after I talk to her."

"I love you, too and I look forward to that conversation."

Grissom hung up first. He had to or he would talk to her all day.

Sara knew she could not put it off any longer. He had to get up and get ready. Like she said before she had to face the past to have a future.

An hour later she was ready to go. With directions in hand, she set out to find her mother.

When she arrived at the bistro it was nearly 11:30; the time they had agreed to meet.

Sara wasn't even sure she would recognize her mother. She scanned the place and saw nobody she recognized. From behind her she heard a soft voice call her name.

"Sara?"

Sara turned to come face to face with her mother.

"It was like looking in a mirror. This is what she would look like in 25 years. They had the same curly hair. The same bone structure, the same gap between their teeth, they were the same height.

"Hi, mom."

There was an awkward hug neither was sure the other wanted.

Laura Sidle was amazed at how much her daughter looked like her. She knew as a child there was a resemblance, but now she felt like she was looking back in time 25 years.

Both of them said at the same time, "How have you been?"

There was a laugh over that.

Sara answered first, "There is a lot to tell you. Shall we sit down?"

"Sure."

The waiter seated them in a quiet corner of the restaurant.

Laura began, "I tried to keep up with where you were, but I lost track after you left Harvard."

"Oh, I came back to Berkley for Graduate School. I have my Master's Degree in Physics."

Laura smiled, "I always knew you were a smart one. Where do you live now?"

That was a hard one to answer for Sara. She was not sure where she lived at the moment. She knew for now she couldn't live in Las Vegas, but she felt like a visitor in San Francisco. She opted to start at the beginning and explain.

"I've been in Las Vegas for the past 8 years. I was working as a CSI, a Crime Scene Investigator."

"Oh, like on TV?"

Sara laughed, "Sorta. I have fiancé that is still in Vegas. I'd love for you to meet him."

"Congratulations, Sara. Have you set a date yet?"

"No, there are some things I need to do before we can get married."

"Tell me about this man."

Laura saw her daughter light up when she talked about Grissom.

"His name is Gil Grissom. He's a CSI also. He was my boss. He's an entomologist also. That's how we met in the first place. He came to give a lecture and I attended. That was nine years ago now. I actually moved to Vegas because he invited me."

"How long have you two been together?"

Sara laughed, "There are differing opinions on that, but as far as being a true couple two and a half years now."

"Why do you say differing opinions?"

"Gil's opinion of when we began our relationship has a different timeline than mine. He assured everyone we have been together nine years."

"Why?"

"Because that is how long he has loved me was what he told me."

Laura smiled. It was the smile that Grissom called the Sidle smile.

"He must really love you then."

"It took him long enough to admit it even to himself, but yes, I have no doubts he loves me. I love him, too."

"I'm glad you have him, Sara. I know you had a rough childhood. I always hoped you would find someone to be happy with."

"I have Mom, I have."

The waiter came over to take their orders, "Are you two ladies ready, or do you need more time?"

Sara looked at the menu, "I'll have the grilled veggie wrap and an iced tea."

"I'll have the same." Laura answered.

The waiter thanked them and disappeared again.

There was an awkward silence again. Both knew there was a lot more to talk about, but neither of them wanted to start the conversation.

It was Sara who began finally, "Mom, I followed your case as well, I knew when you got out."

Laura just nodded her head. She knew this was coming.

"You know you could have called me anytime."

"I know, but I wasn't ready. Grissom, actually wanted me to call you a long time ago, but I couldn't do it."

"Do you often call him Grissom?"

"Oh, well most people at work just call him Grissom. It's a habit."

"Oh, ok. Go on."

"Well, he has been pushing me to talk to you because I have some questions….about my past."

Sara could feel her stomach flip flop. She watched her mother intently.

"I'm sure you do, Honey, I'm sure you do. I've been expecting this for a long time. I'm glad you came. I need to tell you about some things. Not all of it will pleasant, but there are some things you need to know."

"Okay, Mom."

"First of all I want to apologize for the hand you were dealt as a child. No child should ever have to go through what you did. It took me years of therapy to come to terms with that."

"There was such a slow cycle of decent in to what we became that it was hard to see it at first. When your father and I got married we were happy, really happy. We were young, but we were in love and we were convinced that love alone would carry us though. It did for a long time. James was working hard at a job he loved and I was going to art classes. We were happy. Then, I don't know, it all began to fall apart. I found out I was pregnant and all of the sudden money became a big issue. Living poor was fine when it was just the two of us, but a child needed things, all of which cost money. Your father began to change. He had to give up his job for one that made more money. The apartment we were living in was hardly big enough for the two of us let alone a child."

"Oh." Sara had never heard this part of their story.

"Sara, we wanted you, but it just changed things. Don't think you were unwanted."

That was exactly what she thought.

"We moved to Tamales Bay and your father got a job that paid better and had insurance. We moved in with my parents at the bed and breakfast. There were rooms that were not used in the back. I don't think you remember that. It was where you were born. Your father changed after that. He was more serious. Things began to weigh heavy on him. He was obsessed with making money. He wanted to get us out of there. He wanted to give you what you deserved. He also began drinking when things weren't going well. I didn't know it at the time, but his father was an alcoholic. He drank heavily. Your father swore he wouldn't be like that, but when the stress got too bad he turned to the bottle. I'm not trying to make him out to be a bad man Sara, it's just what happened."

Sara just listened. There were some things that made sense from her own life and the way she dealt with stress.

"We stayed there for nearly a year after you were born, Then we moved to another house your father had purchased. It was still near my parents. I continued to help my parents out at the inn for a while. I took you with me every day. The extra money helped. Times got hard and your father lost his job. His drinking got worse. One day when he was drunk and angry he…he hit me. I thought it was a one-time thing and I forgave him. It was a long time before he did it again. My parents were killed in a car accident and we sold the inn. The money helped for a while, but we squandered most of it away. By the time you were four we were broke again. That is when the real beatings began. I'm sure you remember. I could have left, but I didn't. I had no place to go. There were no shelters then and the police were not as ready to believe things as they are now."

Sara could tell this was hard for her mother, but she had a need to tell her what happen, just as much as Sara needed to hear it.

"I know you remember the trips to the hospital. I know you remember when your father began to come after you once you were big enough to…"

Her mother stopped. Tears welled in her eyes.

Sara reached out and took her hand for support, just as Grissom had done the morning Sara told him her story.

"Go on, Mom."

"He began to hit you too, that was the breaking point for me. I tried to leave a few times, but there was no place to go and I had to get you out of there."

Sara could feel the emotions building in her. There were too many to sort out right now.

Their food arrived and they ate in relative quiet.

Sara felt very conflicted right now. She wanted to forgive her mother, but what had happened so many years ago had forever changed Sara's live. It hung over her like a dark cloud at times. It colored everything she did. She found herself getting angry.

As they ate, Laura asked if there was anything she wanted to ask. Sara was not sure this was the place she wanted to ask the questions she wanted answers to.

"Later, Mom. Let's just eat for now."

They did.

When they were finished, Laura paid the check under protest from Sara. Her mother said it was the least she could do. Sara let her pay and they left.

"Do you want to go back to my place? It's just around the corner. We can walk from here."

Sara wasn't sure if she did or not. It was certainly a more private place to do what they needed to do.

"Um, sure."

"You sound nervous about it, what's wrong?"

"Mom, it's been a long time and I have some things I want to know. Those choices you and Dad made have changed my whole life."

They walked back to Laura's apartment. It was small, but enough for one person. There were pictures of Sara when she was younger. There was even one of her graduation from Harvard. Sara was not sure how she had gotten that one.

This was what Laura was afraid of. She knew Sara would be angry. How could she not be? Laura understood that anger, but she wanted to make Sara understand that it was not her fault. The fault lay with Laura and James Sidle.

"Sara, I know you're angry. You were dealt a rotten hand. I want to make it up to you."

"I'm not sure you can, Mom. Angry doesn't even begin to what I am."

That hurt Laura, not that it was unexpected.

"I know, Sara. I have done many things in my life I am not proud of. Killing your father was one of them."

Sara scoffed, "You did have options. Killing him was NOT the only way out."

"I know that now."

"I don't mean to sound selfish here, but what you did or didn't do….you and Dad left me….damaged."

She had said it. It was hard, but she had said it.

"So many things in my life have been affected by what you two did. All the relationships I've been in, even my relationship with Gil, have been lived in the shadow of what you two did."

It was Laura's turn to listen as her daughter talked. This was a conversation years in the making.

"I had to leave Vegas because of it."

Before Sara could help it tears welled in her eyes. She had not wanted things to go like this. She had wanted to be rational and calm and talk to her mother. Instead she was scaring even herself at the moment. She didn't like being out of control.

"Sara, I know you blame me for a lot of went wrong in your life. I deserve some of that blame, me and your father. I am not trying to make excuses for that. I want to see if we can start over, move forward from where we are right now. I don't expect you to forgive and forget, Sara. I just want to see if we can move forward."

Sara looked at her mother for a while thinking about the words she said. That was why Sara had come in the first place, but not that she was faced with it, she wasn't so sure.

"Mom, I'm not sure I can do this. It's hard."

Laura looked hurt.

Sara continued talking.

"But, I think we can try. I'm still angry and hurt. I will be the one in control this time."

Laura listened to Sara's conditions.

"I need to do this, Mom. I can't get married until I put the pieces of me back together. I think we've done enough for today.

"I understand."

Laura had little choice in the matter. She didn't want to lose contact with her daughter. She had to play by Sara's rules for now. There would time later for more. There was just one thing Laura was going to ask Sara to do.

"Sara, I know you are hurting right now. You have a right to be. The one thing I want you to do is consider getting some help…from a professional.

Sara had seen her fair share of doctors and psychologists over the years. She was smart enough to get around them. The one she found the most helpful was the one she saw after her DUI. That was when she began dealing with her past. That was when she even considered telling Grissom about what had happened to her as a child and even though it had taken months past her last visit, it was that psychologist that had given her the courage to finally tell him. The psychologist had been right. He did understand. It was the beginning of their relationship. She let him in behind the wall she'd build.

That moment in her life reminded her of the Robert Frost poem about two woods in the forest. She had chosen the one less traveled, well less traveled for her, and it really had made all the difference. Maybe this was the time to choose another road less traveled. She needed to think about it.

"I'll think about it."

Laura could ask no more of her.

With that they parted. Sara didn't go back to her hotel right away. She went for a walk. She missed the sea. It felt good to sit and watch the waves of the bay crash against the beach. It was far too cold for swimming, but just the sound and the vastness of it all had a way of humbling a person.

It was hours before Sara got home.

Grissom, to his credit had not called. He'd promised her he wouldn't, but this waiting was killing him. The sleep he'd gotten had not been restful. He was worried about Sara. He wanted to know how things went.

He puttered around the house for a while then he took Hank for a walk. He checked his cell phone at least four times an hour to make sure it was working. As it got later, he got more and more worried. He was about ready to book a fight when his phone rang. He answered it on the first ring.

"Hi, Honey."

He tried to sound casual but it didn't quite come off.

"Hi."

She was tired from the day, both physically and emotionally.

"How'd it go?"

Sara took a deep breath and told him everything.

He listened and offered support.

When she was finished, he asked, "What do you think about the idea of seeing a psychologist?"

"I don't know. I know you think it would be a good idea."

"Yes, I do, but it won't work if you are not willing to go on your own. Therapy is not something you can force. If you want to go, go. I'll arrange for payment. Don't let that be the issue."

"Do you really think I should?"

"Sara, like I said, this is something you have to do on your own. I do think it would help, but it's ultimately your decision."

She knew he was leaving it up to her. He was trying to be supportive without being pushy. God, she loved him. She wanted him there right now to make her feel safe.

There was silence for a while on her end.

Finally she answered, "I think it might be a good idea." It was almost a whisper.

"Good."

"Gil, I love you."

Tears were welling again. She didn't think she had any tears left, but they came.

"I love you, too."

"I'm so tired today."

"Rest then, Honey."

"I wish you were here to read to me."

He smiled. They had gotten into that habit early in their relationship. He would read to her when she couldn't sleep.

"I still can if you want me too."

"I do."

She heard rustling in the background before he settled in his chair and opened the poetry book she had given him their first Christmas together. The poem he read was _The Road not Taken_ it was as though he had read her mind. Grissom had chosen it because it reminded him of the journey Sara was on. It would have been easier for her to keep pretending to be fine. She chose the less traveled path of getting better.

His voice soothed her. She could feel sleep washing over her.

He read a few more of her favorites before he heard the slow even breathing of sleep. He closed the phone and went to work. The hard work had begun for Sara. There was much to do, but she had begun the path. He was proud of her. For the first time he was beginning not to just understand why she left but to agree with her decision.

**A/N: Well, let me know what you think. I'd love to know.**


	59. Chapter 59

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this posted. Life has gotten in the way, but here it is. I hope you enjoy.**

Sara woke hours later with her phone still open. The sound of the low battery alarm woke her. She barely remembered falling asleep. Grissom had been reading to her and the next thing she remembered was waking up. She looked at the clock. He would be in the middle of shift now. She decided to get up and change her clothes into pajamas.

She went back to bed immediately. She was still exhausted from the events of the day.

The emotional drain had been as overwhelming as the physical one.

Her sleep was deep and dreamless. Her sleep had been much better since leaving Vegas. She still wasn't sure if it was the exhaustion or the being away from her job. Whatever the cause, deep uninterrupted sleep was going her good.

The one thing she missed at night was Grissom. She missed waking up next to him. The early December chill had settled over San Francisco and Sara pulled the blankets up around her to keep warm. It was another thing she missed about Grissom. He seemed to be perpetually warm. When she was cold, for it could get cold in Las Vegas, he would always keep the bed warm. She missed snuggling up against him to be warm. If truth be told she just missed him, all of him.

She sighed as she let sleep pull her back under.

The next time she woke up the sun was peeking through the curtains of her hotel room. She stretched and looked at the clock. 8:45 am. She certainly was sleeping better now than she had been.

Her cell phone rang. It was Grissom.

"Hi, Gil."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yep, thanks to you."

He smiled. It was good to hear her in a good mood.

"Really, though thanks for that last night. I was just having a hard time letting go of everything."

"Any time you need me to read to you just call."

"I'll hold you to that, Dr. Grissom."

She only called him Dr. Grissom when she was teasing him.

"How was shift?"

"It was ok. I really don't think you want to hear about death and mayhem in Las Vegas."

"No. How's Hank? You're not ignoring him are you?"

"No, I've been walking him every day."

"How's the team? I do want to hear about them. I feel bad about leaving them the way I did and then leaving you to explain it to them."

"They have been very supportive, Sara. I explained why you needed to leave and they understand. They miss you and they want you to get better soon…we all do."

The last part was just a whisper, but she heard it. She wanted to get better soon too.

Grissom continued.

"We're all holding up. I'm worried about Warrick though. He seems to be struggling a bit. The break up with Tina has been really hard on him. He was late to a scene the other day. Greg is learning to deal with things. Catherine is Catherine. Nick's picking up the slack."

Nick would pick up the slack. Sara smiled at that. It was just him.

Grissom didn't mention how angry Greg had been lately. He still wasn't sure just who Greg was angry with. Was it Sara? Was it him or just life in general?

Sara felt bad. She knew they had been short handed since she had changed shifts. It was part of the reason that Grissom was gone so much. He had to work to pick up the load. They all were overworked.

There was a long pause.

Grissom waited, sensing that Sara wanted to say something but didn't know how to do it.

She started, "Gil…I've made a decision."

He felt his stomach tighten a bit. That was an ominous beginning.

"Okay. Tell me."

It was a safe, neutral way to engage the conversation.

"I've decided to start therapy."

There she'd said it.

He let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding in a loud breath.

"Good."

She'd heard him let out the breath.

"Were you expecting something else?"

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he expected her to say. He thought it could be anything at this point. He'd been hit with so much in the past months.

She let him off the hook.

"It's okay. I know I've kinda hit you with a lot in the past few weeks."

"Sara, I'm sorry. I just…"

"Gil, really, it's okay. I understand."

It wasn't okay with him, but she had forgiven him. He felt terrible for doubting her. Fatigue was a factor, missing her was another factor. He had to get over this fear that she would leave him for good. His brain and his heart were in battle right now. What he really wanted to do was see her. It had been weeks since she left him that letter. They had talked, but it wasn't enough anymore. He needed to see her, hold her. He wasn't going to push though. His head told him she needed time to deal with what she needed to mend.

He truly understood why she had left. That didn't make his heart miss her any less. He ached for her some days. He missed her near him. He missed waking up near her. He missed reading with her or arguing about what music to listen to. He missed making love to her.

Thanksgiving had come and gone. Christmas was approaching. The thought of spending that day alone was weighing on him. He wasn't even sure she wanted to see him.

He decided to stick to the idea of therapy.

"Have you made an appointment?"

"No, but I'm going to look for someone today."

There was another long pause. Neither was sure why it was difficult to talk right now.

"Gil, what's wrong?"

"I…nothing."

He wouldn't push her. She was in charge right now. He would do things on her terms and do what she needed him to do. It was the least he could do for her. She had waited for him to pull his head out of his ass for years. He could wait, would wait, for her to be ready to see him again. Right now his head had to win.

"Gil, we have to be honest with each other. Please, tell me."

"I miss you, honey."

"I miss you, too."

She sensed there was more he wanted to say.

"And…."

He should have known he couldn't hide his emotions from her anymore. Once he had let her in, he couldn't stop.

"And I was wondering if you would like me to come see you?"

There was a long pause. She wanted nothing more than him to come here, but she had to do some work first.

"Soon, Gil."

At least she hadn't said no. That was something.

"I want nothing more than to see you. I miss you so much it hurts sometimes, but I'm no good for you right now. Let me work on some things first. I know Christmas is coming. You can come then."

Two weeks, he could wait two weeks. He would make the arrangements with work and take a week off to be with her. It hurt him to hear that she was feeling the way she was. They had lost so much time. The thought of losing anymore was hard for him. Fourteen days; it wasn't long. Two weeks. It seemed too long if he figured it out in hours. He would put on the brave front for her and be happy she was agreeing to see him. It was the hardest thing he did every day to not get up and get on a plane for San Francisco. She had asked for a little more time. He would honor that.

"Great. I'll put in for the time off. I think they owe me that."

She laughed. It was good to hear her laugh.

"I know you need to get going, Gil. You must be tired. You sound tired."

She could hear it in his voice. There was something else too, but she would save it for another time.

He was tired. Work had been piling up. They were short handed and Warrick seemed out of sorts. He also worried about Sara. He kept it close to him. He didn't want Sara to worry about him with everything she was going through.

"Okay then, I'll call you when I get up for work."

"I love you."

He closed his eyes and tried to sound happy, "I love you, too."

They hung up.

Sleep would not come. His mind would not let go of everything that was going on. He knew he needed to get some rest. That made it all the harder to sleep. He could no longer smell him on the pillow she slept with. Her clothes still hung in the closet. He had not moved anything. He wanted her to be able to find it when she came home. Hank was different. He had taken to sleeping on the bed with Grissom. It was never allowed before, but they both longed for the company.

He got up. If he was going to be up he might as well do something useful. He cleaned the townhouse. He cleaned out the specimen cages he had at home. He read an entire book. It had not made sleep come any easier. He could not remember when he had really slept last. The battle between his head and his heart was going to be his undoing.

The swinging between understanding why Sara left and being devastated by her leaving had been building. He needed to get this under control or it was going to be his undoing. It would do him no good to fall apart. It wouldn't help Sara either. He had to think of her right now. She had waited so long for him he could do this for her.

Grissom laid back down on his bed. The battle subsided long enough for him to fall asleep for a bit. It was nearly 9:30 when he woke up. He woke with a start and cursed at the clock. Sara would wonder what happened to him. He couldn't tell her, he just couldn't.

He quickly called her.

She answered on the first ring.

"Hi, I though you forgot about me."

"Never, Dear."

She smiled. It was so Grissom to call her Dear. She loved it. She loved him.

"Did you get some sleep?"

"Yes." It wasn't a total lie. He'd slept for nearly three hours. Not nearly enough, but he had gotten some sleep.

"Good. I don't want you getting sick."

"I don't get sick, Sara, you know that."

In all the years Sara had known Grissom he had rarely been sick. He seemed to be able to go on forever and never get sick.

"Okay, just take care of yourself."

_You too_ he thought. It was much more important that she take care of herself. He would be fine. He was always fine.

"I have to go in a little early. There is some paperwork I have to take care of."

There was always paperwork. He was the supervisor. It was the job.

"I love you, Gil."

He closed his eyes. The hollowness he felt at not having here there was overwhelming at the moment.

"I love you, too. Two weeks, Sara. Please."

It broke her heart and she almost told him to come now.

"Two weeks."

"Bye."

"Bye."

They hung up.

He didn't want to tell her it was paperwork about Warrick. Things had gone from bad to worse with him. He was late for work. He had even gotten involved with a dancer who had been killed. It was proved that he was not involved, but it was part of a larger problem. It weighed on Grissom. Warrick had always held a special place in Grissom's heart. He didn't want to admit how bad things had gotten, but this latest incident had proved to Grissom that Warrick was in need of help and fast.

Grissom had never been one to show his emotions or even admit that he had them, but Sara had changed that. He finally admitted that there were people he loved, Sara most of all, but he loved the family they had created at work. Neither of them had any other family left.

The team had been trying to be supportive of Grissom since Sara left. He did not want their companionship. There was only one person he wanted, Sara. They tried to get him to come out for breakfast or to come to dinner before work, but be politely declined. All the free time he had was for talking to Sara. There was precious little of it anyway. The team feared the Grissom of old was back.

Catherine had said to go after Sara, I would do that in two weeks, maybe then he would be better. He would get to see her, lay eyes, and hands on her, check for himself that she was okay.

The week passed painfully slow for Grissom. Warrick seemed to be coming around. Nick was there to help him. Grissom remembered again what Catherine had said all those years ago. They really were a family. Sara and Grissom continued their conversations on the phone. They talked every day at least once usually twice. It was the pattern now. He would call when he got off shift just as she was going to bed. He would call before he went in for work. The only times they interrupted the calls was when Grissom had to work a double. He had worked three that week. They were still short staffed and there seemed to be no end in sight. He'd arranged for another CSI to come cover on the night shift while he went to San Francisco. Ecklie had thrown a fit, but Grissom threatened to quit if he didn't let him go. Ecklie reluctantly signed the vacation request. He'd decided to drive Sara's car out to San Francisco for her and then he would fly back to Las Vegas. He's also packed her a few clothes and some of her personal things she wanted. Hank would have to wait for another trip. This one was just for Grissom and Sara.

As the second week passed he could feel his excitement grow. He was going to see Sara. He also felt a sense of anxiety about seeing her. What would he find? She had been in therapy for two weeks now. She told him about it when they talked. She seemed to be dealing better with things better she seemed happier. She had also been talking to her mother more. They had seen each other a few times. Her mother had even come to Sara's hotel for dinner. Sara talked about Grissom meeting Laura. It took him by surprise. He hadn't thought she would want Grissom to meet Laura. He would do it. He found himself thinking about what Laura would be like. He imagined she would look like Sara. He didn't know what he would say to her. Laura had been the topic of many conversations. Now he would come face to face with her.

His thoughts turned to Sara. He missed her more than he could ever imagine. There was no life without her. He could function, but he didn't live without her. There was no joy in anything unless she was there. The only times he found himself smiling was when he talked to Sara. The team had noticed also. They tried to help, but he shut them out most of the time. He knew they wanted to help, but it was just too difficult for him to talk about it.

CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI

It was time to leave. He checked everything one last time and dropped Hank off with Nick.

"Don't worry, we'll be fine. Just take care of Sara."

"I will."

"Say hi from me."

"I will and thanks, Nick."

Nick shook his hand and Grissom hurried off. He was on his way to Sara. A few short hours from now they would be together.

He had memorized the downloaded map and was on his way.

Interstate 15 to Highway 58 west to Highway 99 North to Interstate 5 North to Interstate 580 west to Interstate 80 west and across the Bay Bridge. 8 hours 570 miles. He would drive it straight through. Right now it seemed like an eternity. In reality, it was less than a shift at work. He would be with Sara. He had driven it many times, but that was years before.

He was excited. This drive had never excited him. Wait, that was not true. He had driven it before to see Sara. It had been exciting then, but then she was forbidden. Now he could be excited to see her and he was.

He left early in the morning. He wanted to be there by dinner. He would see Sara for dinner. It was what kept him going.

He called her when he left.

"Hi," she answered

"I'm on my way."

"Good. I can't wait."

"Me either. I'll call you in a bit. I have several Mystery Theater's to listen to on the way."

Sara grinned.

"I love you."

"I love you to, Sara."

They hung up. Grissom popped the first of his Mystery Theater CD's into the player and pulled onto the Interstate.

He called her when he stopped for gas and coffee in Barstow.

She called him to see what he would like for dinner.

He called when he needed a break and gas in Bakersfield.

She called him to say she loved him.

He was nearing Oakland when he called her again. Less than an hour until he was there. Neither of them could wait.

He exited and was less than 10 miles from her hotel.

His heart pounded as he pulled up into the parking lot.

He knew what her room number was.

He stopped in the lobby to ask directions to her room and then to the elevator. The ride up seemed to take forever. He was so close now, and yet it seemed so far. He was less than 100 feet now. The elevator doors slid open. Just a short walk down the hallway. His heart pounded, his hands were sweaty. Why was he so nervous? This was Sara, his Sara. He had wanted nothing more than to see her for a month and yet now he was nervous. He stopped walking and was at her door. She was there just on the other side of that door. He knocked and waited for her to answer.

**A/N: Okay, I know….no throwing things I promise to post again soon. Please leave a review. **


	60. Chapter 60

**A/N: Okay as promised here is the next chapter. Lots of fluff for a while as requested. They are going to have a great time in San Francisco, a city near and dear to me. So, how long do I dare wait before introducing Grissom to his future mother-in-law? Let me know if we should jump right in of wait a day or two. I have an idea and have begun working on it. It's a little mean, but hey, it's my story. **

Sara heard the knock and jumped up to answer the door. She opened and there they stood face to face for the first time in a month. Neither could move for a moment. They just stood there looking at one another taking a mental picture.

He was the first one to move. He took a step toward her and she closed the rest of the distance. Grissom pulled her close and held her. Neither was able to speak for a moment. It felt so good to hold her. Grissom could tell she had been eating better. She didn't feel as thin.

He finally pulled back enough to kiss her.

"I missed you so much." He managed to get out.

"I'm sorry I left like that."

"Shhhh, no more of that, Sara. You did the right thing. You needed to get out of there. It was killing you."

He kissed her again. He kissed her until the need for air became too much. If he could he would stay here forever with her.

She clung to him like a lifeline. She had wanted to do this for so long, but she knew she had to get better first. He had let her begin that process. She was by no means all better, but she was better than she had been when she left Vegas.

"You must be tired after your drive."

"I'm fine."

He didn't want to let go of her. It was almost that he was afraid she would disappear again.

"Come rest with me."

He followed her to the bed.

They stood there for a moment. He never thought it would be awkward between them again but it was. Grissom was not sure how to proceed. He wanted nothing more that to make love to Sara right now, but he wasn't sure if she was ready for that. He didn't want to push her into something she wasn't ready for. He decided to wait and see what she wanted to do. He didn't want her to regret his coming.

She was thinking he must be tired and she thought he should rest. He had just driven 8 hours to see her. Her needs could wait until he was rested. She thought it might be a good thing to take it a bit slow at first. She looked at him and kissed him again.

"Thanks for coming. I really needed to see you."

"You can call me and I will be here anytime Sara. You're the most important thing to me."

She buried her head in his chest and he held her. Now was the time for reassurances for both of them. Sara needed to be sure Grissom was not angry at her for leaving and Grissom needed to know that she was getting better. She looked like she was. The dark circles were gone. She had been eating. Physically she was better. Now he worried about the ghosts. Were they disappearing? Had talking to her mother helped? Was the counseling helping? There were so many questions, but they could wait. He just wanted to feel her again.

Sara sized him up. He didn't appear angry. He wasn't yelling or holding back. He said he would come any time she needed him. He could hide his emotions well, she knew that. She knew this was hard on him. It had to be. It was hard on her. She knew this. She just needed him to reassure her that she had not damaged their relationship beyond repair.

He sensed her apprehension.

"Sara, what's wrong?"

"I just need to know that…"

She bit her lip.

"What do you need to know?"

"That I haven't….that you still…."

She couldn't get the words out. Saying them might make them true. He couldn't even look at him right now.

Grissom finally understood what she was asking him. He gently lifted her chin and looked her in the eyes. He saw worry there. Those chocolate orbs that could burn holes in him when she was angry or melt him when he was sad or excite his desire were worried right now.

"Sara, never worry about my loving you. I will love you until I breathe my last breath. I know you had to get away from everything. I understand you have to deal with your past. You have to do this for you. Yes, I miss you, yes I want you to come back, but I want you to come back when you're ready."

She let out the breath she was holding and kissed him.

"Thank you."

"Sara, you are my live. If you hurt I hurt. You do what you need to do to get better. The only thing I ask is that you don't shut me out. Always tell me the truth no matter what, even if you think it will hurt me. Can you do that?"

"I think I can. I've been talking to my therapist about just that. She says I need to be honest with you. Hiding hasn't worked in the past. If I am ever going to get better I have to deal with what happened honestly. She also said I need to deal with my feelings for my mother. She said there are some things I need to deal with you about."

He had not expected that last one.

"Tell me."

"She said I need to be totally honest with you. I need to let you know when I'm hurt by things."

He knew he'd hurt her in the past. It had never been his intention, but it had happened none the less. There had been numerous times over the past 9 years he'd hurt her. He regretted them all. The old saying you always hurt the ones you love came to mind. He did love her.

"I'm glad you're working on this Sara. I'll be there to support you."

"There is one more thing I want while you're here."

"What's that?"

"I want us to do something fun. I need, we need more fun. You told me once to find a diversion. I want to something fun together."

"I think I can arrange that one."

"Right now let's rest. I bet you're tired."

"Being totally honest here, right?"

"Yep."

"I'm beat."

She smiled her Sidle smile at him. It was that smile 9 years ago in this very city that had captured his heart. It captured it again right there.

He kissed her softly at first, and then he let his body take over.

She stopped him.

"Rest, Gil."

He sighed. He knew she was right. He needed to rest. This could wait for a few hours. Just sleeping next to her again would be enough for now.

"You're right, Dear."

She smiled at the Dear.

Grissom sat down and toed of his shoes and laid down. He pulled Sara down next to him.

"Rest with me. I just want to hold you."

She slipped into bed with him. Her head still fit perfectly into the crook of his shoulder. His arm wrapped around her.

He smelled good. She had missed his scent.

It wasn't long before his breathing evened out and she could tell he was asleep.

She felt his arm wrap around her just a bit tighter. She smiled as she let herself fall asleep.

A few hours later they both woke up. It was dinner time and Grissom was hungry. Grissom laid there watching Sara sleep until she stirred. He kissed her forehead.

"Hi."

She smiled and kissed him.

"I'm so glad you came."

"Me too."

"Let's go get some dinner. I know a good bistro around the corner."

"Okay, just let me change."

He quickly changed his clothes and grabbed a jacket. It was colder here than in Vegas. He remembered what the weather could be like in San Francisco.

They stepped outside. The city looked beautiful. They could see the bridges lit up. There were Christmas lights. It was not the garish lights of the Vegas, but a softer more romantic glow.

Grissom wrapped an arm around Sara as they walked to the bistro.

It was a quiet place. The food was great.

Grissom looked at Sara. He didn't want to give up this time yet.

"Do you want to take a walk after dinner?"

"Oh, sure. There is a park a block over. We can go there."

"Sounds great."

They walked the short distance to the park. Grissom took her hand as the strolled.

"Do you remember the last time we walked in this city?"

"Yes, I do. You had just finished your lecture and I met you for coffee. You were so cute that night. I really thought you were going to kiss me."

"I wanted to, believe me. I just didn't know if it would be appropriate."

She laughed, "I would have loved it."

"That's why I stopped. I didn't think I could stop with just a kiss. Even then you had that effect on me."

He dropped a kiss on her cheek.

"You wouldn't have had to stop."

"I know that too. You scared the hell out of me then. I didn't know how to handle what I was feeling for you. I didn't know what to do then."

"I'm glad you do now."

"Me too. Shall we head back soon? It's getting cold."

Sara rubbed her arms and Grissom wrapped his jacket around her. He had done it that night so many years ago as well. It was cold. Suddenly she felt his coat wrap around her. It smelled of him, just like it did now. The only difference now is that she didn't have to hide wanting to commit that smell to memory. She inhaled deeply. He looked at her a bit confused.

"I'm making a memory. I did this last time you gave me your coat in this city. I am just making another one."

He smiled at her and kissed her.

"I love you, Sara. Looking back, I loved you then. I just couldn't put words to what I was feeling, but I know now it was love."

She hadn't been wrong. For many years after she came to Vegas she doubted herself. She thought how could she have been so wrong? But she wasn't. She had been right. He did feel the same way she did.

They arrived back at the hotel and went upstairs.

Sara unlocked the door and they headed in.

He pulled her close and kissed her again. That was their undoing. They could not hold back. It had been so long since they'd been together like this. It was as though a flood gate had been opened. Their need took over.

Grissom trailed kisses along her neck until he was at her collar bone.

He had waited long enough. He sensed she wanted it too.

"Sara, are you sure?"

She nodded at him as she worked on the buttons of his shirt. All of the sudden her fingers wouldn't work.

She finally worked them free and opened his shirt. She noticed he's lost some weight. She wasn't sure if that was intentional or stress, but he looked good.

Grissom pulled Sara's shirt over her head. He noticed the nice bra she had on. It was new and he liked it. She wasn't as thin as she had been. She looked really good. He stood there just looking for a moment until she felt self-conscious.

"God, Sara you are beautiful."

He meant every word of it. It wasn't his most poetic or romantic deceleration, but it was heartfelt.

Sara blushed.

Grissom pulled her close again. He kissed her. She felt as though she was going to melt.

He could still do that to her. Her body still responded to him like no other.

Grissom slowed it down just a bit.

"Let me love you, Sara."

"Always."

He gently removed the rest of her clothes and led her to the bed. He then removed his and laid down with her. She could feel his response as well. She needed to know that he still wanted her like this.

He kissed her gently at first almost reverently. She deepened the kiss. She demanded entry and his lips parted allowing her to taste him. His hands began to move down her body setting her skin ablaze. He was moving too slow for her, but he wanted to commit this moment to memory. There had been many first times for them, but this was a reconnection and Grissom wanted Sara to know how much he loved her. He knew how to please her. This was about making her happy. That was the important thing, Sara being happy. She truly was his whole life. He'd remembered hearing that in a country song one time. A man singing about how he thought his wife was his everything. She was everything both great and small to him. That was how Grissom felt. Why he remembered that song now, he had no idea. He didn't even listen to country music. It had been on at some crime scene a while back. It had just struck him.

He found those sensitive areas born of experience. Sara was his everything.

He kissed her again as he entered her. It was like coming home again for both of them. It didn't matter their location as long as they were together, they were home.

"Sara, look at me."

She did.

"I love you."

He kissed her again and began moving.

Sara could feel the tears even as she fought them off.

"I love you, too."

They made love there in her room. It was a timeless way to show devotion and love, but for them it was more. They had endured a long separation and were together again.

Sara could feel the first waves of her orgasm beginning to build. She whispered his name as she went over the edge. He was not long behind her.

Grissom rolled over and pulled Sara on top of him. They waited until their breathing returned to normal.

"Sara, I love you."

She kissed his chest just over his heart.

"I love you, Gil."

They stayed like that for a long time. There were no words needed right now. Sara finally heard the deep breathing of Grissom sleeping. It was a sound that warmed her heart from the first time she heard it no nearly three years ago. He looked younger when he slept. The worries of the job melted away. She watched him sleep.

She knew she needed him. How was she going to let him go back to Vegas in a week? She wanted him here with her.

She thought about him as she pulled the covers over them and joined him in sleep.

There had to be a way to work this out.

They could make this work. Their combined IQ was over 300. Two people as smart as they were could find a way to be happy.

Sara fell asleep. Her last thought was that she knew she and Grissom could survive anything.

**A/N: See no Cliffhanger this time. Please leave a review. There is more to come of their time in San Francisco. **


	61. Chapter 61

**A/N: Well, I bet you thought I forgot about this story. I have been working on it for a while, but real life got in the way. Here is the next segment in their time together in San Francisco, a city near and dear to me. **

Grissom woke first in the morning. He had not slept so well or so long in months. It felt great to wake up with her in his arms again. He brushed a wayward curl from her face as he watched her sleep. She looked better. She looked rested. He hoped that the ghosts were beginning to disappear.

He tried to get out of bed to use the restroom, but Sara rolled toward him at the loss of his touch. He smiled. This was an old habit of hers. He took care of it the way he had learned to years ago.

"I love you, Sara. I'll be right back." He whispered in her ear and kissed her on the forehead.

She let him go without waking.

True to his work he was back in minutes. She rolled back against him and continued to sleep. He had never known her to sleep like that. He was glad to see it. She needed to rest.

He was engrossed in watching her sleep. He leaned down and kissed her again. This time she kissed him back.

"Good morning." She whispered to him.

"Good morning."

"I'm so glad you came."

"Me, too. I missed waking up with you."

She kissed him again and then asked him a question.

"What do you want to do today?"

"I really don't care what we do."

"How about a tour of the city like we did the last time we were here together."

He remembered that trip. He had wanted so much to spend time with her, but their age difference got in his way. There was also the fact that he was her teacher, even if it was just for a conference. He hang up's had cost them years.

"Can we go back to that same restaurant in Union Square? That pastrami was to die for."

She laughed. They had enjoyed pastrami that day at a pub in Union Square.

"Well, I won't be eating pastrami this time."

"I'm sure we can find something there for you."

"I want to go to Ghirardelli Square too. I want some chocolate."

He laughed. Not many people knew about Sara's weakness for chocolate.

"It's cheaper to get it at the store, Sara."

"I know, but you can't take a cable car to the store, and I want to ride a cable car too."

They planned out their day and set out on an adventure.

Their first stop was the bistro again for breakfast. Then to the bus station for a day pass. They took the bus to Ghirardelli Square and caught the cable car at the turn around. It was a cool morning even for San Francisco. They ran for the cable car with the rest of the tourists. It was kind of a tradition. Once the car was full the conductor punched their pass and they were on their way. They snuggled together for warmth as they climbed Powell Street. Grissom had forgotten just how steep the streets in San Francisco could be.

The last time he was here with her he dared not touch her. This time he could not let go of her. Sara watched the city go by as Grissom watched her. She seemed happy. It was good to see her smile and laugh. He kissed her cheek as she looked out over the city.

"It's beautiful."

He really could have cared less about the scenery. At the moment all he wanted to look at was standing next to him on the cable car.

As the cable car headed up the hill, he could not imagine anywhere else in the world he'd rather be.

She looked at him.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Honesty, remember?"

"I…I'm just…damn. Why is it so hard to talk around you sometimes? I swear you are the only person in the world that can render me speechless."

Sara laughed.

"Now you're laughing at me?"

She leaned in and kissed him.

"I love you, too."

She had correctly guessed what he wanted to say, but there was more. He wanted to tell her everything his heart felt. The problem was getting the words out. It was overwhelming. When she looked at him with those chocolate eyes he went stupid. He could get lost in them forever.

Grissom brought a hand up to her cheek and caressed her. There was such a serious look on his face. She could not tease him. There was something he wanted to tell her. She let him work it out.

"I do love you, Sara. I have loved you for years. You're my life. There is no me without you, not anymore. I'm not sure there ever was."

It was her turn to be speechless. He still had the ability to surprise her. Just when she thought he couldn't anymore, he did.

She felt the tear roll down her cheek before she could stop it.

He wiped it away with his thumb and kissed her.

"No tears, Sara."

"These are happy tears. I promise."

He rested his forehead against hers.

They were unaware that anyone else was there on the cable car with them. They were in their own world. It was the ringing of the bell that brought them back to reality. They were at the next stop. There was an exchange of people and they were moving again.

They finally reached their destination in Union Square. They had been there together before. Grissom stepped off first and offered Sara his hand. She followed him off the car and they walked toward their destination, Lefty O'Doul's.

As they arrived, the lunch crowd was beginning to arrive. They got in line and ordered their food.

As they sat down, Sara gawked at the size of Grissom's sandwich.

"You are not seriously going to eat all of that are you?"

He took a huge bite and nodded his head.

"Gil that is a heart attack waiting to happen."

"Yep, and I'll enjoy every bite of it."

She smiled. She knew he did not share her aversion to meat, but most of the time he respected that she was a vegetarian and most of the time he ate what she did. But, on occasions like this, when pastrami was on the line, he went caveman.

It sort of nauseated her to see him eating that sandwich, but at the same time it was good to see him enjoying something. He could turn into such a little boy sometimes. She had seen it when he was solving a puzzle at work. She had seen it when he took care of his bugs. She had seen it when he watched baseball. It still amazed her that he was a baseball fan. Maybe that was the draw of this place, pastrami and baseball.

She continued to stare at him.

"Did I grow another head, Sara?"

"What, no."

"Then why are you staring at me?"

"Sorry, I was thinking."

"About what?"

"You."

His eyebrow went up in that Grissom look she had seen so many times at work.

"Don't worry…good thoughts only."

He took another bite as Sara wrinkled up her nose and continued to eat her salad. He smiled as his mouth was too full to talk.

Grissom did eat his entire sandwich. He was stuffed when he was done. Sara sat and stared at him in disbelief.

"How did you eat all of that?"

"I don't get pastrami very often. I decided to take advantage of the situation."

"Well, Gilbert, since you insisted on eating half a cow, I think we should walk some of that off."

She only called him Gilbert when she was teasing him.

"I have an idea. How about we head back toward the Bay and over to Fort Point?"

He remembered where they had gone the last time they were in the city together. She shouldn't be surprised. He remembered so many things. They had their picture taken together the last time they were there. A copy of it still sat on her dresser. He had a copy also. She had sent it to him. She had found it one day on his desk. He had kept it all those years. She often wondered over the years before they had gotten together if he kept it; if he felt the same way she did. It wasn't until years later that she found out he did. He had loved her even then.

"Uh, sure, but how are we going to get there? We didn't bring the car?"

"The bus, Sara, like we did last time."

She smiled at him again.

"Do you remember everything?"

"No, just the important things."

They found the bust route and got on the bus. It took them a while and a few transfers but they made it to Fort Point. It was as beautiful as they remembered; as beautiful as an old military fort could be. It overlooked the Bay with a spectacular view of the Golden Gate Bridge.

The breeze was cold as they walked around the old fort. It was built in the days of the Civil War to protect the San Francisco Bay from attack. They walked around the top level and took in the view. They stopped to look out over the Bay. Sara leaned back into him.

"I'm glad you came."

He dropped a kiss near her ear.

"I'm glad I came too. Thank you for letting me."

"My mother wants to meet you."

He wondered when it would come up.

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

It was sooner than he'd planned. He hadn't had to face meeting a girl's parents since high school. He was a grown man. This should not make him nervous. But this was Sara's mother. That's what unnerved him. This was the woman who knew Sara as a child. This was the woman who killed her father.

"What do you want, Sara?"

He dropped a kiss on the side of her head.

"I don't know. I don't want to share you while you're here, but I think you two should meet."

"Then call her and arrange it."

"I will."

They were quiet for a while.

"Sara, do you want to head back?"

"I suppose we should. It'll be getting dark soon."

"I know. I have plans for you tonight, my dear."

"Oh, really?"

She smiled as he hummed his answer into her neck.

"And what would those plans be?"

"Oh, you'll have to wait and see."

He nuzzled her neck again and she laughed.

"Gilbert, not here."

He sighed. She was right.

She turned and kissed him, "Hold onto that thought."

They made their way back to the hotel. It was an adventure in transfers and busses and trolley cars. They arrived at the hotel just as the sun was setting.

"We need to hurry if we are going to make our reservation."

"When did you have time to make reservations?"

He kissed her, "Don't worry, just get dressed. We need to dress up a bit. I brought you something from Vegas for this."

She looked in the bag he had pulled his suit out of and there was her best cocktail dress. The one she only wore for really special occasions. She didn't usually wear dresses. They weren't practical.

She knew this one was Grissom's favorite.

She smiled at his as she took the dress and got dressed. She took a few minutes to put some makeup on and fix her hair. She wore it up. Grissom loved that too.

"Wow, you look great."

"Thank you, sir."

"Shall we?"

He extended his had to her and she took it. She had no idea where they were going, but obviously Grissom had put thought into this evening.

"May I ask where we're going?"

"To dinner."

"I know that Gil, but where?"

"Oh a little place I know with a great view of the city."

"Gil, tell me." She whined.

"Do you trust me?"

"Intimately."

His eyes sparkled as he kissed her, "Then let's go."

She sighed and followed him.

She was surprised when they headed for her car.

"We're driving?"

"It's too cold for cable cars tonight."

They headed out. Grissom had forgotten what it was like to drive in San Francisco. It took a while, but they were at their destination. He checked his watch to make sure they had not missed their reservation. They were still early.

Sara looked up to see where they were.

Grissom heard the intake of breath and smiled.

"The Mark Hopkins?"

"Yep."

"Seriously, we are having dinner at the Top of the Mark?"

"Yes, Sara."

The valet opened Grissom's door and inquired if they were checking in or dining.

"Dining only tonight."

"Thank you, sir."

Grissom went around the car and opened Sara's door and offered his hand to help her out of the car.

"I told you to trust me," he whispered in her ear as he planted a kiss on her cheek.

His hand found the small of her back as he escorted her into the hotel. They found the elevator and went up. Sara had heard about the Top of the Mark but never been up there. The elevator doors slid open and they were greeted by the host.

Names were given and they were seated at their table. The view was breath-taking. The city looked beautiful. They could see the Golden Gate Bridge and the most of the rest of the City.

"Gil, how did you manage this?"

"I actually made the reservation from Las Vegas. I know we relived some old memories today. Tonight I wanted to make a new one."

"Thank you."

"It's my pleasure."

Their waiter appeared to get begin ordering.

"Do you know the history of this place, Sara?"

She did not.

"The Hotel is built on the site of the Mark Hopkins Mansion that was destroyed in the 1906 Earthquake. It was completed in 1926. This restaurant was opened in 1939. During the Second World servicemen would come here on liberty before they shipped out the Pacific. They would buy a bottle and designate it their squadron bottle. The bartender would keep it behind the bar. Any man from that squadron could come get a drink for free. All he had to do was sign their name on the label. The man who took the last drink had to buy the next bottle. When it came time for the men to ship out their wives and sweethearts would gather in the corner over there and watch the war ships pass under the Golden Gate on their way to war. It became known as "Weepers' Corner."

"That's sad and romantic all at the same time."

He agreed with her.

"How did you know all of that?"

"My grandfather was one of those servicemen and my grandmother watched him leave from that very corner. My mother was 10 at the time."

Sara didn't know that Grissom's grandfather had fought in the War.

"Did he make it back to drink from that bottle?"

"Yes, he did."

She let out a breath. She was hoping he hadn't died in the War.

Grissom laughed, "What?"

"I was really hoping you weren't going to tell me he died in the war."

"No, he lived for many years after that. He was the one that got me interested in baseball. He was a lifelong Chicago Cubs fan."

"I always wondered why you chose that team being from California. I wondered why you weren't a Dodgers fan."

"My mother's family was from Chicago. We used to go back every summer especially after my father died. My grandfather would take me to the Cubs games."

"How did I not know this about you?"

"I guess it never came up."

"I guess not."

"I bet I don't know everything about you, now do I?"

She laughed, "Probably not."

He looked at her with a salacious smile, "Think of the fun we can have discovering new things about each other."

She smiled back reading his thoughts.

Their dinner came.

"Oh, this looks wonderful."

Grissom agreed with her.

They talked while they ate.

"Have you given any thought to what you want to do tomorrow?" Grissom asked.

Sara sighed, "I'll call my mother and see what time she can meet us."

He sensed her apprehension.

"What's wrong?"

He really did know her well.

"I'm nervous about you two meeting. I know is should happen. I don't know why I have such issues with it, but I do."

"It's okay, Sara."

She was grateful for the support. He had changed and she liked it.

Once their dinner was finished, they decided to dance. Sara had no idea that Grissom could dance or that he would even want to.

She smiled at him.

"What?" he queried.

"Dancing? I never took you as the dancing type."

"We've danced before."

"Not in public."

He pretended to be hurt by her statement.

"Gil, you know what I mean."

He kissed her, "I'm turning over a new leaf."

The kiss and the comment sent shivers down her spine. She could feel the desire for him building.

It left her breathless.

"Sara, I love you."

"I love you, too."

They swayed to the music and they clung to each other.

They had no time how much time had passed. It became clear that they were one of the last couples there.

Their foreheads were touching.

"I think they are closing," Sara whispered.

"Yeah, I think you're right. Shall we head back?"

She nodded.

"Let me take you home," he cooed into her hear

She smiled and followed him back to the valet.

They headed back to the hotel. Both were quiet on the way back. He took her hand and kissed her palm.

It was a gesture that she had come to love over the years.

It had been a good night. Neither wanted it to come to an end, but they knew tomorrow was going to be an emotional day and it would be easier if they were rested.

Since it was 2:30 am already, they needed to get some rest.

**A/N: I know it has been a long time. I have all next week off from work. I will try to get several chapters up that week. **

**The story about the Top of the Mark is true. My parents went there the night they got engaged. They lived in San Francisco for several years. **


	62. Chapter 62

**A/N: Here is the next one as promised. I hope to get another one out before I have to go back to work on Monday. Enjoy….**

It was late as they drove back to their hotel. Sara's head lolled back and rested on the headrest. Grissom looked over to see her sleeping. He was still a creature of the night. Sara on the other hand had become a creature of daylight. It became her. She had her glow again. She was beginning to look happy again.

The traffic was lighter this time of night. It did not take long to get back to the hotel.

Sara was still asleep.

Grissom parked and turned off the car. He watched her sleep for a moment before he woke her.

"Sara, wake up honey. We're back at the hotel."

"Hummmm?" she was still not awake.

"Honey, we're back at the hotel. You need to wake up."

This time she was able to wake herself.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

He chuckled at her.

"It's fine, you needed the sleep."

"I'm not used to being up this time of day anymore."

"I know, and it's fine. Let's get you inside and into bed. We're supposed to meet your mother in a few hours."

She grimaced at that thought.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Do we have to?"

"Yes, Dear we do."

They wandered their way up to their room. Sara was content to let Grissom take the lead. He maneuvered them into the room when Sara suddenly turned and pounced on him.

Her kiss was hard and sensuous. There was no doubt what she wanted. Grissom was the one to put on the brakes. They were both too tired. It had been a long day, a great one, but long.

"Sara, we need sleep."

He had never been one to turn her down, but he knew it was important for her to be well rested for their meeting with her mother.

"I need you."

She kissed him again. It was getting harder to resist her.

"Sara, you know I love you, but we both need to sleep, you mother will be here in a few hours. Let's rest."

She sighed. He was right, and she hated it when he was right about such things.

He kissed her this time.

"I love you, Honey."

"I love you too, Gilbert."

He smiled. It was usually a tease when she used his full name. She was one of the few people that could get away with it.

"Don't you smile at me, I'm still mad at you."

"I know, but you'll thank me in the morning."

She turned without answering and headed to get ready for bed. She knew he was right again.

Just to make him suffer she slowly undressed in front of him.

It had the desired effect.

"You're a tease, Sara."

"Who, me? You're the one that turned me down."

He nearly changed his mind right there.

"I did not turn you down. I postponed until we are both more rested. Now come to bed."

She smiled at him.

He laid down on the bed and she snuggled in against his side. It was a familiar sleeping arrangement for them both.

"I'm sorry for teasing you."

"I forgive you."

"You forgive me for lots of things."

She felt him shrug his shoulder, "I love you."

He kissed the top of her head.

He could feel her smile.

"Good night, Sara."

"Good night, Gil. And I love you, too."

Quickly they both fell asleep.

Light was just peeking through the curtains when Sara awoke.

She turned over to look at Grissom sleeping next to her. She missed waking up with him. She studied him for a moment. He always looked younger when he slept. His face relaxed and the worry lines softened. She liked the way his hair was slightly unruly. It was the curse of curly hair. She watched his chest rise and fall. She listened to him breathing. She tried to get out of bed without waking him up, but instinctually he reached for her. She let him pull her closer for a moment.

She whispered in his ear, "I'll be right back. I just have to go to the bathroom."

He relaxed his grip and true to her word she was back in minutes.

She reclaimed her spot against his side.

Grissom was warm against her skin. Her head found that spot in his shoulder where her head seemed to just fit.

She laid like that for a long while. She was not sure what time it was and really had no interest in moving.

She kissed his chest just over his heart.

He moaned a bit in his sleep.

She smiled and kissed him again.

He responded by pulling her tighter against him.

She took this as an invitation. Her hand began making circles, small ones at first then with more purpose.

She smiled as he moaned again in his sleep. He was enjoying this even if he was asleep.

A wicked thought crossed her mind. It was the same thought she had last night.

She began to touch him with more purpose. Her hands began to move in practiced ways. His body responded. She could see his desire growing under the covers.

She slipped her t-shirt she was wearing off over her head and moved to straddle him.

She loomed over him for a moment before she kissed him.

Grissom thought he was having a dream about Sara. He was enjoying it quite a lot before he realized it was not a dream. He awoke to her kissing him.

She knew he was awake when he kissed her back. His hands slid around her back and pulled her in for a deeper kiss.

"Good morning." She whispered as she pressed herself against his chest.

It was then he realized that she was not dressed.

He smiled. He really wasn't sure he could say no to her again.

"Good morning, I was just dreaming about you."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes…." He kissed her again.

"And what was your dream about?" She kissed him.

"This…" he rolled her over and kissed her again.

"I like this dream."

"Me, too."

Sara continued her assault on him. She leaned in for another kiss. She could feel him against core, growing by the moment. A low rumble of a moan came from deep from inside Grissom. The words 'resistance is futile' came to his mind just before he gave into the desire they both felt.

Grissom reached out and caressed her breasts as she lowered herself on to him.

They both groaned with the pleasure of the sensations.

Grissom let everything else go and let his body enjoy what Sara was doing to him.

It was only then they heard the knock at the door. At first it didn't register that someone was knocking at the door.

It became more insistent.

"Sara, are you there?"

"Holy crap!" Sara blurted out.

"Who the hell is that?" Grissom gritted out.

"My mother."

She started to laugh. Grissom could not believe she was laughing.

"What are you laughing about? Your mother is at the door."

"That's why I'm laughing. We just got caught by my mother in bed."

Grissom found no humor in the situation.

Sara could hardly breathe from the effort of not laughing. She was failing.

"Sara, stop laughing. You're mother's at the door and we are…are…"

"Doing it?"

"Yes, doing it. Now stop laughing, please."

From outside the door Laura Sidle called again, "Sara, are you awake."

Sara whispered, "If she only knew."

Grissom still saw no humor in this. He hadn't been caught with a girl since he was a senior in high school. It hadn't been funny then either. He was an adult for God's sake. He shouldn't have to feel like a naughty teenager, but that was just how he felt at the moment.

"Yes, Mom, I'm awake. Give me just a minute."

"Fine, I was worried for a moment when you didn't answer the door."

Sara tried to stifle peals of laughter. With the mood totally broken, Grissom tried to sit up and regain some of his lost pride.

Sara kissed him, "Gil, its okay. It's just my mother."

She had thought about saying lighten up and thought better of it.

"Yes, Sara, I'm well aware it's your mother. Why are you laughing?"

"I feel like a teenager."

"Don't remind me."

She looked at him and it dawned on her.

"You got caught before."

He really didn't want to get into this now with Sara's mother waiting outside the door.

He just nodded as if to say that story would have to wait until later. He hoped she would forget, but he knew she wouldn't.

"Later, Sara. We have to meet your mother."

Neither had bothered to look at the clock when they started. It was nearly 10 in the morning. They both scurried to get clothes on.

Sara opened the door and saw her mother standing there. Her daughter looked disheveled.

"Sorry, did I interrupt something?"

Sara tried to hide her smirk.

"No, Mom, we were still asleep. We were out late last night."

Laura decided not to push it any further.

Grissom was still in the bathroom trying to recover from the morning's events. He wasn't sure if he could face Sara's mother right now. But hiding in the bathroom was not the answer either. This was not how he planned on meeting is future mother-in-law. He splashed some water on his face and brushed his teeth. At least he wouldn't have morning breath when he met her.

He opened the door to meet his fate.

Both Sara and Laura looked to the door as soon as they heard it open. It was eerie for Grissom. This is what Sara would look like in a twenty years. The dark curls were streaked with gray, but the face was the same. It dawned on him that if they were to have a daughter this is what she would look like.

They had never seriously discussed having children or not having them. There had been some conversations, but no decision had ever been made. Their recent engagement and Sara's departure had begun him thinking about family. He didn't know what he thought at the moment, but he had been thinking about making more things permanent, more settled. Seeing Sara with her mother got him to thinking about kids again. It was something that they needed to talk about.

"Mom, this is Gil."

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Sidle."

Grissom was still feeling a bit uncomfortable about having been caught like they had been.

"Oh, please, call me Laura."

"Thank you."

Grissom had never been good with meeting the parents' of the girls he'd dated, not that there had been much opportunity for him to practice. He felt slightly awkward.

"Mom, give me a minute to get dressed and we can go get some breakfast."

Sara breezed into the bathroom with her clothes, leaving Grissom and Laure there to figure out what to do now.

The training his mother had given him kicked in.

"I'm sorry, would you like to sit down? May I get you something to drink?"

"No, I'm fine."

They went to sit in the little living room that was provided in the hotel room.

Neither quite knew what to say to the other.

Laura started, "Sara tells me you're an entomologist."

"Yes, I work for the Las Vegas Crime Lab."

"That must be interesting."

"Yes, at times it is very interesting. It's not quite like they show it on TV though."

"Sara also says you were her supervisor and teacher."

"I met her at a seminar in San Francisco years ago."

"You're the reason she moved to Las Vegas."

It wasn't a question as much as a statement. Her look was unreadable, just like Sara could get sometimes. It was unnerving Grissom a bit.

"Yes, I suppose I am."

There was a long silence. He still wasn't sure if Laura was angry. She had that same stare Sara had. It could bore holes though a person.

"Well, I'm glad she found you. She loves you very much."

Grissom breathed a silent sigh of relief.

Sara came out just then.

Grissom said, "I love her, too."

Sara gave him a strange look, but let it go for now.

"Your mother and I were just getting to know one another."

More like feeling each other out Grissom thought. Sara was loved by both of them. Neither of them wanted her to be hurt.

Grissom decided to back off for now.

Laura caught on to what he was doing and also decided to let it drop. She knew that Grissom was aware of her past and that she had spent time in prison and a mental facility. She could see he was fiercely protective of Sara. Laura was glad. He would do whatever needed to be done to keep her safe. It made her feel better to know that he was there for Sara.

Sara looked at both of them. It had been a long time but she could read her mother. These two were definitely feeling each other out. Sara wanted them to like each other. It was important to her to put her past and her future together.

She kissed Grissom on the cheek. She would always choose him and she wanted him to know it.

"Relax." She whispered in his ear.

She saw the tension in his jaw relax just a little.

"Mom, where would you like to go to eat?"

"Oh, I don't know. How about that bistro we went to before? It was really good and it was close."

"Um...sure. Gil, is that okay with you?"

"It sounds good. Shall we?"

Grissom stood and put out a hand for Sara. She took it as she stood up. He did not let her go. It was a possessive move for him.

"Laura, how about I drive us there."

"Sure."

"Then I thought we could go for a drive around the City. Maybe over to Sausalito?"

"Sounds great. I haven't been there in years."

Grissom opened the door and held it for Laura as she exited.

Sara was next. She paused as whispered to him.

"Gil, what is up with you? Relax"

He kissed her cheek and nodded.

"I'm trying. I guess I'm still a little freaked out about being….interrupted this morning."

"Well, she's not a bee. She won't sting you if you freak out."

Grissom smiled at the reference. It hadn't been all that long ago he had proposed and told her those very words about bees.

He caressed her cheek and whispered, "I love you."

Laura turned just in time to see the quiet exchange between the two of them. She smiled. She could see that her daughter was happy. This man made her happy. She deserved to be happy.

She decided right there she liked Gil Grissom.

Grissom decided that he would give Laura a chance. This is what Sara needed.

Sara decided that these two people were just protecting her because they loved her. She would try her best to get them to like each other.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Please let me know what you think of the chapter. I couldn't resist the bit about getting caught. I love to torment our favorite couple just a bit.**


	63. Chapter 63

**A/N: I don't own them blah blah blah. **

**Sorry for the long delay. I have had a lot going on and I just didn't feel inspired to write. I know this is a short chapter, but it felt right to end it here. **

**Please let me know what you think. I will try to get more out soon. Thanks for sticking in there with me.**

The day had been an enjoyable one. Grissom decided he liked Laura. She was like Sara in more ways than just looks. It was uncanny how much they looked alike, but the talked alike too. They had the same cadence to their voice. Laura's was a bit deeper with age. They both had sharp minds. It was easy to see where Sara got her wit. They also laughed the same.

Grissom's keen observation skills were put to good use. He watched Sara and her mother. Sara was getting better.

Sara seemed happy. She had come to find her past and put some ghosts to bed. Repairing the relationship with her mother was the first step in that process.

By the end of the day, they were tired and ready to go back to the hotel. They dropped Laura off and headed back. Sara was happy and she smiled. That smile made it all worth it. It had been so long since he had seen her smile as much as she had since he'd been here with her. Leaving Vegas was the right decision for her.

She looked at him, he looked happy.

"What do you want to do for dinner?" he asked without looking away from the road.

"How about we order in? We can finish what we started earlier."

His hands clenched the steering wheel a bit tighter. He didn't think Laura knew she had interrupted them in the middle of making love. If she did know, she hadn't let on much to her credit. He was still embarrassed about being caught like a teenager. The thought of picking up where they left off was very appealing to him. Suddenly it was all he could think about. He wanted to get Sara back to the hotel and Finish what they started.

Sara laughed. He was so easy to read sometimes.

"What do you feel like for dinner?" she asked him.

"I'm suddenly not very hungry."

She smiled smugly at him and leaned over.

"How about we order a pizza?" she whispered into his ear and then kissed him.

Grissom grasped the wheel of the car just a bit tighter trying to will himself not to react. He needed to concentrate on driving and Sara was not making it easy.

"What, so the pizza guy can interrupt us too?"

Sara laughed. It was good to hear her laugh. He realized that it had been a long time since he had heard her laugh before she left Vegas. The more he saw her here the more he realized what Vegas had done to her, what Natalie had done to her.

"Well, I'm hungry and you are going to need some energy for what I have planned for you, Gilbert."

His head snapped around and a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. She only called him that when she was mad or she was teasing him. She didn't look mad.

"Chinese?" he suggested.

"Fine, take out."

That tug of a smile turned into a grin.

Sara rarely saw Grissom grin like that away from making some discovery on a case at the lab.

She also saw his eyes darken in want. She could feel the pangs of desire building deep within her. She knew that was a look only she saw.

They stopped and ordered Chinese and took it back to the hotel.

They walked through the lobby with their food and waited for the elevator.

Sara felt Grissom rest his hand in the small of her back. He had done it a thousand times and it never ceased to make her feel cherished.

The doors to the elevator slid open and the occupants stepped out before Sara and Grissom stepped in.

They watched as the doors slid closed again.

What Grissom did next did shock Sara. His had that had been lovingly resting in the small of her back slid down and grabbed her butt.

She gave a start.

"Gil, what are you doing?"

He gave her a molten look before he leaned in and kissed her. It was a kiss that left her weak in the knees.

This was very un-Grissom like behavior in public.

"Gil…we ARE in the elevator."

He didn't speak, but kissed her again.

The bell rang and they were at their floor. Grissom stepped away just as the doors slid open and a little old couple stepped up to get in the elevator.

Sara giggled as they got out and walked the short distance to the room.

Sara found the key card and opened the door.

As she walked in the door, Grissom took the food from her and put it on the table. Then without a word he pinned her to the wall and kissed her.

She could feel the proof of what he wanted pressing against her hip.

Sara broke the kiss.

"Gil, what has gotten into you?"

"You."

He would not be dissuaded from his goal. He wanted Sara and he wanted her now.

He walked her backwards toward the bed.

"I love you, Sara." He said breathlessly as he removed her shirt.

Next were her shoes and pants.

"You're so beautiful."

Sara had never thought of herself as beautiful, but she felt it with Grissom.

She unbuttoned his shirt and let it slide down his arms and on to the floor. Next she fumbled with the button at the top of his jeans. She managed to get them undone and slide them to the floor as well.

They came together in a rush, both consumed by desire.

She was ready for him. Their love making was quick and passionate.

Later they sat eating the Chinese food. Sara wore Grissom's discarded shirt. He loved it when she wore is shirts like that.

Sara sucked in a noodle and spoke, "Tomorrow's Christmas Eve. What do you want to do?"

"I thought your mother invited us to come to her house?"

"She did. I just thought if you didn't want to go we could do something else."

"What do you want to do?" Grissom sensed her hesitation.

"I want to go, but I wasn't sure how you felt about it. Holidays were never a happy time at our house. We always waited for the other shoe to drop so to speak."

Grissom remembered many happy holidays at his house growing up. Even after his father died, his mother had made sure he had happy memories of Christmas.

"Sara, we can do whatever you want to do. I came here to be with you."

"Then I want to go. I think I need to work on building some happy memories with my mother."

Grissom reached out and took her hand. He kissed the palm.

Sara felt the tears well up in her eyes.

It was such a simple gesture, but there was so much feeling behind it. That simple act made her feel cherished.

"Why the tears?"

"I love you."

"And that makes you cry?"

"Happy tears."

He reached out with his thumb and wiped away the tear that rolled down her cheek.

"I love you, too, Sara."

He could tell there was more she wanted to say, but he would wait until she was ready.

They finished eating and cleaned up.

"Gil?"

He turned to look at her.

"I…I want to thank you for coming and for not giving up on me."

"I will never give up on you. I can't, Sara."

He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her.

"You're my life."

The tears welled again in her eyes.

"No tears, Sara. We have both shed enough of those lately."

At that moment in time she knew they could survive anything.

**A/N: Please leave a review and let me know you are still out there reading. I might be inspired to write more.**


	64. Chapter 64

**A/N: OK as promised here it the next chapter and you didn't even have to wait for two months for it. **

**As usual I don't own them, I just play with them once in a while. **

**Gotta love Christmas time. **

They woke early on Christmas Eve. Grissom had brought Sara's gift with him from Las Vegas. Sara had bought Grissom's at a small shop near her mother's house. Sara had also made a small gift for her mother. She felt it was part of the healing process. She would take her mother's gift with her today. She would give Grissom his tomorrow.

The plan was to go the Laura's house about one in the afternoon. They had the morning to themselves.

The first order of business was to get coffee.

"Sara, I'm going to get coffee. Be back in a few." He called over his shoulder and he closed the door.

Sara wondered why he didn't just make coffee in the coffee pot in the kitchen. She knew this time of year was for asking questions.

Sara heard Grissom return about twenty minutes later. He carried two large cups of coffee and a bag of what she could only assume was breakfast.

"It's cold out there."

Sara laughed, "It's December, Gil, it's supposed to be cold. Besides you're used to Vegas weather."

"Hey, it snows in Vegas sometimes."

Sara snorted, "Yeah, right. When was the last time they had a snow day in Vegas?"

Expecting it to be a rhetorical question she was surprised when he answered.

"1979."

She laughed, "You would know that."

She leaned over and kissed him.

It was good to hear her laugh.

"I brought breakfast back with me too."

Grissom held up the bag and handed it to Sara.

She peeked inside. There were muffins.

"Blueberry?"

Grissom nodded as Sara grinned.

"I love blueberry muffins."

"I know."

"And I love you, Gilbert."

She hadn't called him that in a while. She only called him that when she was teasing him or was really pissed. She didn't look pissed at the moment.

"Eat your muffin and then we can get ready to go to your mother's. I need to make a stop on the way."

Sara raised an eyebrow in question as she took a huge bite of her muffin.

"I need to get your mother a present. I wasn't expecting to see her so I didn't get her anything. I think it would be rude to not have something for her. I have an idea, but I have to go get something for it. Do you mind?"

Sara swallowed and then answered, "No, of course I don't mind. You don't have to get her anything though."

"I want to, Sara."

She knew there was not use in arguing with him. He's made up his mind. In truth it touched her that he wanted to get her mother a gift.

She took another bite of her muffin and gave in.

"Enjoying that are you?"

She nodded as it was rude to talk with your mouth full.

"Good, I know that Blueberry it your favorite."

"What did you get for yourself?"

"Carrot and raisin."

"Thanks for getting these."

Sara took the last bite of her muffin and leaned over and kissed Grissom again.

"You're welcome. Now go get ready. We have things to do today before we go to your mother's."

"Yes, sir."

She headed for the bathroom to take a shower. She turned and offered over her shoulder, "Care to join me?"

Grissom felt the slight pang of desire begin go grow.

Without a word he followed her to the shower.

He caught her at the door.

"Here, let me help you."

He pulled her shirt over her head as she raised her arms. He kissed the back of her neck. It sent shivers down her spine.

"Sara…."

He turned her around and kissed her she could feel is desire for her pressing against her leg.

It made her feel wanted that she could still do that to him so quickly.

Grissom deepened the kiss and he helped her out of her lounge pants. She tugged at his shirt and then helped him out of his jeans.

Breathlessly, Grissom said, "Bed…"

Sara nodded.

Grissom backed her up to the bed and gently laid her down. His mouth found her breast. Her back arched instinctively toward him.

She pulled him back up and kissed him.

"Gil, now. I need you now."

He shifted and entered her slowly. They had made love the night before, but this was faster and harder. He wanted her as much as she wanted him.

She could feel her climax building deep within her. His pace let her know that his was not far behind.

"So close, Gil."

His mouth found her breast again and that was her undoing. Her body clenched around his as she felt her climax come.

He called out her name as he came right behind her.

They lay there breathless for a few minutes, holding each other.

"Merry Christmas to me," Sara said in a still ragged breath.

Grissom smiled against her neck.

"I love you, Sara."

"Ready for that shower?"

"Yeah, we need to get going."

Once they were ready they headed out.

"Where do you need to go shopping?"

Sara still had no idea what he wanted to get for her mother.

He pulled into a parking lot that contained several shops.

"I'll just be a minute. You wait here. I want this to be a surprise."

Her curiosity was piqued, but she did as she requested. He came out of the shop about twenty minutes later with a small gift bag.

"So you're really not going to tell me what's in the bag?"

"Nope."

She sighed.

"You're just going to have to wait, Sara."

"I don't like to wait."

He leaned over and kissed her, "Too bad."

Sara glared at him, but let it drop. She wasn't going to get anywhere with him anyway. She knew him better than that.

The drive to Laura's was short.

They arrived at just before one.

Laura had lunch waiting for them. It was a simple meal but very good.

"Mom, thanks for having us over today."

"I wouldn't have missed it, Sara. I'm so glad you came, Gil. Sara's talked about you so much. It makes me happy that she found you."

"It's more like I found her. I'm the lucky one that she didn't give up on me."

Sara blushed. She would have waited forever for him. There was nobody else. Grissom was her world.

The more Laura talked to Grissom the more she liked him. He was good for her daughter. It had taken him long enough to make the commitment, but once he had, he had committed fully. Sara blossomed when she was with Grissom. There was a quiet intimacy between them. She saw it every time they were together. She wondered how the people they had worked with for years missed it. All you had to do was look that them to know they were in love.

They chatted and laughed as they ate dinner. Laura told stories of Sara as a small child. He was smart and inquisitive. She was wise beyond her years. She could read people. She had taken to books at an early age. It was just how Grissom had imagined Sara to be. There was no talk of the pain of Sara's childhood this night. It was only happy memories. They were creating new ones to go with the old ones.

The three of them shared memories of past holidays and Laura brought out pictures of Sara as a child. The few she still had were of a very young Sara. She looked just the way he imagined she would. Dark curls, soulful eyes that were wise beyond her years. In several she held a book. Sara was an old soul. He could tell that even in pictures of her at two.

Sara seemed happy. She smiled and laughed.

Grissom was glad he had stopped and gotten the gift for Laura.

When it came time to exchange gifts he handed Laura a small gift bag.

"Oh, Gil you didn't have to get me anything."

"I wanted to. Open it."

She pulled the tissue from the bag and out with it came a small box.

The box contained a picture of Sara taken by Grissom when they had been in the mountains nearly two years ago now. Sara was smiling and looked so young and so beautiful.

Grissom had purchased a frame to go with the picture.

"Oh, thank you. I have no pictures of Sara that are recent."

Sara was just as touched as Laura had been.

Grissom had done well with this one.

Sara gave her mother a necklace that was similar to one she wore and her mother had admired.

Laura gave Sara copies of the pictures from her past in an album. It was inscribed with the words 'I hope your past helps you find your future'

Sara's eyes welled with tears. She had very little from her childhood. Not much survives the foster care system. It was a connection. That is what she came here to find. Her mother had helped her find a part of her past that she thought might be lost forever.

**A/N: Please leave a review and let me know if you are interested still. I am trying to work on this more. I have been watching season 8 as research….well at least that is what I am telling myself as I watch it. **


	65. Chapter 65

**A/N: Sorry it has been months since I updated this story. What can I say? Life had gotten in the way and I have not been really inspired to write. I have made two trips to Vegas since the last update, so maybe that will help. I think a Grissom sighting would be very helpful too.  
Don't own them…thought the money would be nice. **

**Let me know what you think. **

The drive home from Laura's was quiet. They had both enjoyed their time with Laura. If truth be told, Grissom like her very much and that surprised him. She and Sara were a great deal alike in both physical appearance and in mannerisms. There was more though. They both had that quietness about them. Laura didn't look like someone capable of killing her husband. Maybe that is why Sara was worried about becoming her mother. There was nothing about Laura that let on she had killed someone. Grissom knew that weighed on Sara. They had discussed it many times.

Sara looked out the window as the scenery passed on the way back to the hotel. She was lost in thought.

"Sara?"

She turned but said nothing.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"I think I need to go see my father."

Grissom knew what she meant. He had been dead for 25 years. Sara needed to go see his grave. It was another ghost she needed to bury. If that is what she needed then he would see that she got there.

"Do you know where he is buried?"

She nodded her head.

"We can go the day after Christmas."

"Thank you."

Sara lightened after that. It was like a weight was lifted. She smiled at Grissom.

They pulled into the hotel parking lot and stopped. He didn't get out of the car though.

Sara looked at him as she sat there staring out the windshield.

"What is it?"

He'd wanted to ask her to marry him again, but he knew she wasn't ready. He wanted to get married today if possible. He chickened out of telling her though. He knew it was not the right time for that. Sara needed to get better first. He would have to put her needs first for now.

"What do you want to do for dinner?"

It was the best he could come up with at the moment.

"I don't care really."

"Why don't we go to the store and get some pasta and a salad. How does that sound. We can cook it when we're ready."

"Sounds fine. Are you sure all this thinking is just about pasta?"

She knew him well. She knew of his propensity to think too much.

"Don't worry Sara, it's only good thoughts."

He leaned over and kissed her. She seemed happy with that answer.

She had learned years ago that trying to ask him about what he was thinking did no good. He would talk about it when he was ready and not before. He would tell her the deeper thoughts when he was ready.

They pulled back out of the hotel parking lot and headed for the store.

They bought the makings for dinner and also for their meals tomorrow.

Grissom did not plan on leaving the hotel tomorrow. Hell, he didn't plan on leaving the bed tomorrow.

He only had three more days with Sara before he had to fly back to Vegas. He tried not to think about that. He was so happy being here with her right now.

Once they were back at the hotel, Grissom put away the groceries.

Sara stood by the window staring out over the city.

Grissom came up behind her and put his arms around her.

She leaned back into his chest.

He whispered into her ear.

"What are you thinking about, Sara?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Mmhmm"

"What about me?"

"How much I love you and how much I appreciate you giving me this time."

He planted a kiss behind her ear.

"I love you, too."

She turned in his arms and kissed him and then pulled him close.

"Are you hungry?"

She answered, "No, not really."

They just stood there for a long time.

Grissom broke the silence, "Are you sure you want to go see your father's grave? You've seemed sad since you mentioned it."

"I need to do it. I need to finally put that part of my life in my past. Like I said in that letter, these ghosts have been with me a long time, but I think you knew that in some way."

He nodded. He knew there was something that bothered Sara about certain cases, but it wasn't until he pushed her and she told him everything that he really understood.

"We'll go the day after Christmas. Tomorrow is for much happier things."

"Do you want to go to church?"

Sara knew that Grissom occasionally went to mass.

"Only if you do. Tomorrow is about you."

He kissed her.

"Church would be okay I think."

He knew she was doing it for him. The only times he really ever went to church anymore where Christmas and Easter if he went at all. He had gone with his mother when he visited her until her death. He had gone to her funeral Mass. Grissom was a believer. He just did not need the ritual of church. He'd found himself praying more since Sara's abduction. His mother would be happy. She always hoped he would return to the Church.

"We'll have to get their early. Lots of lapsed Catholics attend Mass on Christmas."

She nodded. Church was never part of her life as a child, but she did enjoy reading about the saints. Maybe it was because they had to endure so much. Maybe as s child it gave her hope, or maybe they were just good stories. She didn't not believe, she just wasn't sure.

"Gil?"

"Hummm?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Let's go to bed."

Grissom smiled. He'd been having the same thought.

"Dinner can wait."

They made love in the quietness of their hotel room. Grissom pulled the covers around them as they lay there together.

"Do you want something to eat, Sara?'

"No, I want to stay like this forever."

"Shutting out the world is never the answer."

"I know, but…."

"No buts."

She nodded. He wanted her to get better and hiding wouldn't allow that to happen. She knew that.

Grissom walked to the kitchenette and returned with the food they had purchased. They ate it together in bed and then watched television they both fell asleep sometime near midnight.

Christmas morning arrived.

Grissom was the first one awake. He didn't want to wake Sara just yet. It was still early and they had hours before they would have to leave for church.

He made coffee and pulled out a book to read.

Sara awoke to the smell of fresh coffee.

"Gil?"

"Out here, Dear."

She went out to where he was reading.

She loved the way his glasses perched at the end of his nose. It was strangely sexy.

He loved the way she looked in the morning. Her hair was slightly messy. She had pulled on his shirt to keep her warm. It was a habit she had gotten into years ago.

Grissom noticed that she was only wearing his shirt. It made him smile. He remembered all the times he had caught her wearing his clothes.

"I see you still like to wear my clothes."

Sara looked down and just smiled. It was comforting to wear his things.

"Is that coffee I smell?"

"Yes, and there are muffins too."

She headed for the kitchenette and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"What time do we have to leave for Church?"

"In about an hour, why?"

"I just wondered."

She wanted to give him the gift she had gotten him. It wasn't much, but she had found it in a shop and thought of him immediately.

She handed it bag to him.

"Sara, I thought we agreed no gifts."

"Just open it, Gilbert."

It was an old entomology book with hand colored pictures.

"Sara, it's beautiful. Thank you….I have a confession to make."

He went to his bag and pulled out a gift for her.

She raised an eyebrow, "No gifts, huh?"

He smiled at gave her the bag. Inside was a picture like he had given her mother. It was of them and they were smiling.

"I want you to remember how much I love you."

She kissed him. Though all she had been through in the last six months she never doubted his love. That was the one thing that kept her grounded.

"I love you, too."

"Let's get ready for Church."

After church they came back to the hotel. It was quiet on the streets. People were home with their families.

The quiet times they spent together were some of Sara's favorites. In her home growing up things were not quiet most of the time. Those silent times were often frightening. It was always after a huge fight.

Grissom could go hours and not say a word, but she was not afraid of that silence any more. She knew he had grown up in a quiet house having a deaf mother.

"Gil?"

"Hummm?"

He was lost in reading the book Sara had given him.

"Gil?"

He stopped reading and looked at her.

He sensed she wanted to talk.

"I want to go early tomorrow to find my dad's grave."

"Okay, we can do that. We can do whatever you want to, Sara."

She nodded and turned to look out the window.

Grissom watched her for signs of what she was thinking.

"Sara, what are you thinking about?"

He did know her well.

"I was just thinking about my dad. He did have some good qualities."

Grissom walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

"He liked to sing."

Grissom wondered if that is where Sara got it from.

"Sara, you don't have to go if you don't want to."

"Yes, I do. I need to put this in the past. The ghosts have to be put to rest if I am ever to move on."

"Okay."

He loved this woman and would do whatever she wanted to help her though this.

**A/N: I am trying to find my inspiration again. I will keep trying. Let me know if you want me to continue or not.**


	66. Chapter 66

**A/N: I know it has been forever since I updated this story. I am sorry for that. I have a short update here for you and I will continue to work on more as I can. I hope you have not forgotten about this story. I have been thinking a lot about it lately.**

The drive out to the cemetery took longer than they thought. Sara sat silently and stared out the window. She knew she had to do this to put her past behind her. It did not make it any easier to do. Her childhood was foremost in her thoughts. She tried to think of the good times. They hadn't all been bad.

Grissom sneaked a glance at her every so often. He knew she was thinking and he gave her the time to do that. They were doing this for her. He would play it by her rules.

Sara sighed and Grissom took it as a cue, "Penny for your thoughts?"

"I was just trying to keep focused on the good times from when I was a kid."

"Good idea."

"I can remember picnics and a few birthday parties, but mostly what I remember is the fighting. I don't want that to be what I remember from my childhood."

"Sara, I know you don't."

He took her hand and held it the rest of the trip. She remained quiet.

They pulled up to the Tamales Bay Cemetery and parked the car. They went to the directory to find where he was buried. Sara found his name and wrote down the plot number and the directions to find it.

"Do you want to walk or drive?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want to drive over to the grave or walk?"

"Oh, drive. It's in the back in the Potter's field. I guess there was no money for anyone to bury him so the county had to do it. I…I didn't know that."

It saddened Sara that most likely nobody came to his funeral. Social Services had not let her come. She was too traumatized by what she had witnessed. It was only years later as an adult that she realized she needed the closure a funeral brings.

They found the grave that was marked with a simple headstone that only had her father's name on it.

"Sara, I'll wait in the car for you. You need some time to say your goodbyes."

She nodded.

Grissom kissed her and headed back to the car. He watched her as she sat there for a long time. At first she said nothing, letting the thought formulate.

She came back to the car when she was done.

Grissom didn't push her for an explanation.

"Thank you for bringing me here. I needed to do that."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, not yet."

He nodded and started the car. They left the cemetery in silence.

The drive back was just a quiet as the drive there. Sara stared out the window. She kept running over and over things in her hear. This was usually a Grissom trait. She smiled at that thought and let out a sort of half chuckle.

Grissom looked at her, "What?"

"I was just thinking that you have rubbed off on me. Thinking like this is usually something you do."

He smiled, "I was thinking the same thing."

"How does this not drive you nuts? When you do this I just want to pop you in the back of the head like Gibbs on NCIS."

He gave her a raised eyebrow stare, "I understand you need to think. Like you said, this is what I do."

"It still drives me nuts when you do it."

"I know, Dear."

They pulled into the parking lot of their hotel. Sara knew what else was bothering her. Soon Grissom would have to go back to Vegas and she would be here alone again.

"Gil?"

He turned to look at her.

"I…what do you want to do for dinner?"

"Whatever you would like, Sara. Do you want to call your mother and see if she wants to join us?"

"No. I want it to just be us. I know you have to leave soon and I want to get as much time with you as I can."

"Okay…is that what is bothering you?"

"Part of it. I just have a lot to process right now. You leaving is part of that. I know you have to go back, but there is part of me that wants you to stay. We could run away. We could take a trip."

"I can't right now Sara, you know that. I would love to go somewhere with you. We can plan a trip soon."

She just nodded. He did not speak of the fact that her leaving had left them one person short or that with the budget cuts there was a hiring freeze and the county would not hire a replacement for her. She knew she had left Grissom and her friends with a huge load. He never said anything about it, but she knew.

He did not want to add to her stress by telling her that there was no way he could get more time off for a while. There was just not enough CSI's to get all the work done. Doubles had become the norm. He had tried to take most of them, but it was beginning to take its toll. Sleep was something he needed a great deal more of than he was getting when he was home. Between worrying about Sara and having to work 60 or 70 hours a week, he was tired and it was beginning to show. His hair was a bit grayer. There were bags under his eyes.

He had slept while he was here, but it was not making up for the lack of sleep at home. He knew he was not taking care of himself, but he felt he did not have a choice. He also knew that if he worked all the time it gave him less time to think and worry. It was easier to work than to go home alone.

They only had two more days together before he had to head back to Las Vegas. Neither of them wanted to think about that. 48 hours seemed longer than two days. He would be back, he knew that, but he didn't want to leave and she didn't want to be alone. She had made so much progress in the past month, but she was not ready to go back to Las Vegas or her job. She still had ghosts to deal with.

They spent the remaining two days together doing whatever they wanted. Much of it was spent in bed. They had spent more time with Laura and Grissom could see that Sara and her mother were rebuilding their relationship. There was a long way to go, but it was progress. He felt better about leaving her. She was getting better.

The time came for him to leave. He had put it off as long as he could. They stood in the parking lot of the hotel.

"Call me when you get back to Vegas."

"I will."

"Do you have everything you need?"

_Except you. _He thought, but he didn't dare say it. He wanted to make this as easy as possible for her.

"Yes. I will be back in two weeks for the weekend."

"It's time to head for the airport."

He nodded a quick nod. It was too difficult to speak the words.

He was flying home and leaving her car here with her.

"You don't have to park and come in. Just drop me of at the curb. It will save time." _And my heart_.

She didn't argue. She thought it would be easier as well.

She kissed him goodbye and watched him disappear into the terminal.

It was not the first time she had taken him to the airport; it would not be the last. Parting was always hard.

He would be home in two hours. Well, he would be back in Vegas. His home was wherever Sara was.

He sat in silence on the plane even when the person next to him tried to engage him in conversation. He pulled out a book and pretended to read as a way of getting people to leave him alone.

He arrived on time, but there was nobody to meet him.

He called Sara as promised. She made him promise to get some sleep before he headed into the lab for the night.

He took a cab to the townhouse and slept until it was time to go to work.

He walked into the lab and let himself ease back into work. The paperwork had piled up over the week he was gone. It was not like him to be gone over the holidays. Catherine had agreed to cover the lab while he was gone.

He told the team that Sara was getting better and that she sent her love and apologized for the way she left. It had been especially hard on Greg. For weeks he would hardly speak to Grissom.

The weeks went by and he was back on an airplane to see her again. Their weekend visits began to take a toll on Grissom. He was tired.

He developed a cough. He insisted it was nothing, but the team and especially Catherine was worried. Grissom sounded and looked awful.

Sara knew he had a cough. He didn't come that weekend because he didn't want to get her sick. She was disappointed but she understood. She told him to get some rest.

What started as just a cold turned into pneumonia. He didn't want to tell her at first, but when he was written off work for two weeks and was forbidden to fly he had no choice but to tell her how bad it had gotten.

He had nearly collapsed at a crime scene and Catherine had made him go to the doctor.

By the time he went he was very sick and Grissom just didn't get sick. The doctor nearly put him in the hospital. He promised to rest if he didn't have to go into the hospital. He kept to his word.

He also called Sara to tell her what was going on.

"Hi, Gil." She answered

"Hi." He sounded awful.

"What's wrong you sound horrible."

"I went to the doctor and he said I have pneumonia. I can't fly for at least a month and I am off work for at least two weeks. If I don't he's going to put me in the hospital."

"I'm coming there."

She said it before she realized what she said. It would be hard, but if he needed her she would come.

"Are you sure you're ready for that?"

"You need someone to take care of you and I want to do it."

"Sara…"

"No, Gil. I'm coming. I will be on the next flight out there. You will not come to the airport to pick me up. Stay in bed. I'm okay with this really. You need me for a change."

"I've always needed you, Sara."

She smiled, "You know what I mean."

If truth be told he was happy she was coming. It did mean it was a positive step in her recovery.

"I love you, Sara."

"I love you, too. Now let me pack. I will be there soon."

The thought of going back to Vegas made Sara a bit nervous. She had to do this though. Grissom needed her. He had been there all those months for her. Going back and forth and not resting had most likely contributed to his getting sick. She had to go. It was also one more demon from the past she had to face. Natalie could do nothing to her now. She was behind bars. The trial had been over for months. Natalie had been found guilty but insane and had been sent to an institution. She still had a nagging fear of returning to Vegas.

As the plane landed, she looked out over the lights of the city she once called home. I hadn't changed that much in the few months she had been gone. Things in Vegas were always changing, but it looked pretty much the same has it had in November. She only had a carry-on bag and was quickly off the plane and in a cab. It felt funny to be on the streets of this city again. It was familiar yet odd. She knew these streets, but in some way it was like she was seeing them for the first time.

The cab pulled up in front of the townhouse. She looked up knowing that Grissom was in there waiting for her. She was excited to see him and Hank. It had been a long time since she had seen Hank. Would he remember her?

She paid the cabby and stepped out of the cab.

She entered the walkway and punched the code in the box to open the gate to let her in. Thank heavens it hadn't changed. She didn't want to disturb Grissom if she didn't have to.

She still had her key. It had been the one key she had kept when she left. She had not wanted to close the door on home. She wanted the option to come back if she wanted to.

**A/N: Please let me know what you think and if you want me to continue or not. If you are still interested I will make an effort to finish this one.**


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